#27: The Trouble With Truffles and Free Dessert for Brody's Mom

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Speaker 1: Start up, start Up. Brooklyn Boys, Start Up, Brooklyn Boys, do Up. They're making noise. Dat up up number twenty seven. It's the Brooken Boys podcast. You could just have it. We're gonna take turns. Yeah, twenty seven kinder, gentler, scary even though we're a month in for a month in so episode seven. Yeah, I want to point out I didn't get his tweet. Damn it. Somebody tweeted us that they're deliberately listening to our episodes in reverse order because it bothers me, because it because it pisses you off, because they want to hear you go off on the podcast. See, people know how to nod you, they know how to get your damn But here's the problem. And I meant to have his tweet writing and I apologize. But here's the thing. We referenced things from previous episodes. I told him that's fine, and now you gotta listen to an order. So today as part of episode I'm gonna give parts three of my CVS RAND just an update, an update. But you wouldn't know what I'm talking about if you didn't listen to about them. We're gonna have to charge I Finally, I know that. Well, here's the thing I'll get to that. I have a I have a chicken wing issue. I have a rant about a prominent chicken wing restaurant. But other than that, we have a lot of stuff to get to today. Yeah, no, we just gotta we got to clear up some old business. Oh by the way, let's just say this. At the top of the podcast, we set it a fifteen minute morning show, but it was the wrong podcast. Yes, I know about a week ago. A week ago is Bobby shmurder ain't done good? Just just get that out of there. You know what. People have been pretty good. I love when people do response. I'm like, oh my god, people listen. It's like when I said, if you finished this long podcast, tweet me at Scary's box, like and yeah, people did. People did. People did like weeks later, which means they're just listening. That's fine, it's and they've been pretty good about the the what do we say two day rule about correcting us one day rule whatever. It was like a one day because we make mistakes, but like after the first day, somebody already told us. But guess what now, people are going to do this all week incessantly because It's one of those things that they could press your buttons on. They want you to be pissed right by the way, so many people on Instagram have been d m ng me lately and I DM everybody back slid into the slide into my dm um with free dessert stories. Now. Back in the day, sliding into your d M meant something like MS lend you DM hook up, right, you know, like whatever? Well the song right, I get, I get. I need your help with the company. D MS not quite as sexy, but that's fine. I love that people want my help. And so now people have been emailing me for help. I'm gonna start charging some I was gonna say, at what point is there going to be a subscription for Oh I got into a whole used car thing with someone and I I love that I can help people, but at some point it's it's taken up a lot of my time now. But I'm flattered. But more d MS than Twitter. And when I say hey, tweet me, a lot of people say that I don't have Twitter's awesome. You know what, though it's not popular, not as popular as it's not as popular as Instagram. A story came out today that Twitter has lost like, uh decent percentage of their subscribers and users in the past year. They had in a road Snapchat, more people Snapchat than Twitter at this point, and instant stories flying it's the story. And yeah, well that's the other thing with Snapchat. Snapchat is being butt hurt by us the story because now people are more people are doing that. It's like what I said when when Vine had six second videos and they're like, oh my god, six second videos and Instagram was like fifteen seconds. Boom, right, exactly, done right, So Instagram has the power of Facebook. Eventually people you know, well, I'm already on Instagram, so I'll just so my financial guy actually just texted me, financial guy, I do I have one because a long time ago I made a bone head move. Yeah. Yeah, the seventy restaurants you invested in. That was the other bone head moved. No, it was I I invested a lot of money into Twitter. Oh that's right, and I'm like, I'm gonna put all my eggs in one basket. Well, somebody came on around and tipped the nest over and all the eggs fell out. A Twitter egg joke. It was a pun, but so so Twitter. Twitter lost all of its steam. Twitter has been in the shitter, no pun intent, but this morning, as as they they're they're not the most popular social media outlet. I got a text from him, my financial dude, he goes scary. Twitter just went up because of they reported net gains in sales for the first time ever, and so it went through the roof. I haven't checked what the stock is right now, so I think I'm about even I might if I get out. And how sad is that, by the way, because I had my money tied up in there, and now he's like, we can get out today. We can get out because you'll you'll actually And I'm like, great, So I've had my money locked up here for five years. I had about it went down depleted to like virtually nothing, and now it's like my free dessert is my what is my free dessert? Now? While it's you know you, I know, you get the same amount of money back up on its banks for note, but note that here's the problem. You're the kind of guy that wins five hundred on the slots but walks away with a hundred and fifty. That's me. You can't walk away, so you're gonna say, well, it's on its way up. I'm gonna wait till make two hundred of all the profits. Don't walk away. A lot of people like, but then it's gonna you're gonna lose a hundred and go I gotta win that hundred back down two hundred. Well, I gotta get back time. Yeah, it's like you you try and get back to that point. By the way, I almost feel like this is a scary, inappropriate product endorsement. You're product, you're plugging your stock. Now this is a new load for you. There's no you have money invested in Twitter, so you're talking about Twitter. But that's not gonna be influence anybody here. Listening to a lot of listeners, listen, people have people have made their mind up about their social media to come in and tell Twitter is the best source of information on the planet. Yes, also the best source of aggravation and fighting with people, which, by the way, I feel like you lose a lot of sleeping a lot of hair over. Uh, I mean in general people, sure, yeah, no, you do. I have I'm okay with your hair. Don't you rip your hair out? You you lose sleep over everybody. Everybody who's on Twitter and and fighting with you? You do, I've seen you. Hold on, I don't start fights with people on Twitter with my regular account. You just finished them. I have a fighting account. But am I regular account? What? Yeah? Everybody has those? No? I don't. Yeah, I have I have you have you this? I have an alternate cast. I have an account that where I can say what I want to say, as opposed to the account where I say things to be fine, what's the what's the hell? No? Why would I tell you that I'm your friend? You're not gonna share it with? Okay? First of all, don't you think I get a kid? Okay? First of all, hold on. First of all, we're on a podcast right now, know thee off to I'm not telling you a second now, keep your mouth shut. Okay, alright, So I'm gonna watch it. I'm gonna look, I'm I'm gonna use it. Can I find if I find? No? No people see you follow it? No? No, you have to create a second account and follow me from your second account, so nobody knows you following it? Is this covert bullshit? No, what goes on this fighting account? Please talk to everything? Oh yeah, it's like please, I keep getting banned, like for twelve hours on Twitter. They shut you down, and it keep shutting me down. I talk trash. Oh my god, I feel like I want to start one now. I feel like you gotta have you gotta have that second account. But you can't like follow the same people. You gotta just you know. But anyway, listen to me. So if people attack me, or like, if I make a joke that's about a sports team or politics or just it's a joke. It's a monologue, joke. I write comedy right, like like a Jimmy fallon or uh, Stephen Colbert a joke, don't take it seriously, but don't attack me. Everybody everybody gets butt hurt. That is the problem with social media. Something they get butt hurt. It's that they get they take it seriously as if I offended what they believe in. And I'm like, I'm us going for the laughs. I'm just going for the laughs. I know you're going for the left. The problem is people don't see it that way. People aren't. They don't see it as a podium for people's sketch comedy. But that's not what Twitter and you know what is. It's not people who follow us. It's not it's not fans of our podcast or fans of the other straight morning show. It's people who look for hashtags and then they look for a fight. Oh so people are actually scouting out for fights. Well yeah, again, what I want to if I don't this is not an endorsement for anti endorsement. No, Twitter, don't know Twitter. There's there's the hash the trending, the trends right, Sometimes they are someone died, a celebrity did something stupid. But a lot of times it's like hashtag make a song old. So you're like taking a song like, uh, you take a song title like work sorry sorry, like like work work work, work, work, and you're like you change it to can't work because I have a bad back or something like that. You know, those are cute when they do those. That's what I love about Twitter. But sometimes it's a current event and they ask you to make a joke or a pun about a current event. Well, if that current event is something that people have an opinion on and you make a joke, they think you're making a joke about the actual subject matter as opposed to just making a joke, and they get very like, so if there's no okay, riddle me this batman. If I go on Twitter and I see and I'm reading news because I go, let's say I go to Twitter for news. The problem is I feel that people don't mix They mix up the news to comedy and jokes. The news becomes and all of a sudden, people commenting on it as a parody or as for doing stand up like you. That's what starts to fights because there's no separation of church and state. It's like, why don't you put it into categories to be like, this is the serious news stuff for serious news people. If you have Sumple news feed, you're starting to take things personally. I think that's what maybe starting fight. I can it's not people that follow me, it's people that look at the hashtag and they say, oh, I have an opinion on that. It's probably those people. So they click on it and they start looking at people's tweets on that subject and they go, oh, he's making a joke and it's a joke against what I believe. I'm going to rip this guy. I think people tolerate less these days. Yeah, I agree also, but but we have a polarized nation, and I'm just trying to make people laugh anyway. But other than that, I love Twitter and I think that I'm just getting a lot of d M. But where it's at, I'm an Instagram guy and and well snapped. You know, I gotta tell you my Snapchat has died down a little bit. I'm like, I'm starting. No, I didn't know where you went one night. Everything. I was gonna call the police. Ever since the stories came, I'm like, uh, now I gotta copy one to the other. It's it's just tedious. I don't know, right, you can't have to Eventually it's gonna be which one. I'm in hibernation mode right now. I'm not doing fun things. Well, you're not eating and drinking. Yeah, I'm not eating, and you have nothing else fun to do in your life beside is going out and eating bad. I realized this. I've been take talking to a lot of people about this, that it's so sad that that what brings me happiness and joy in life always revolve around eating and drinking. Yeah, I don't have hobbies. I don't. I'm not a hot on Facebook. Now does those montages like of oh you you've been friends with Jim for three years. Here's all your pictures with Jim, right, Yes, by the way, Jim's adicios be I don't even know Jim. I want Snapchat to do a video montage of the highlights of your year of Snapchat, and it's all you have At a club. Hey, I'm in a restaurant club. And that's the other thing. I don't snap and instat gratuitously. I only do it when they're exciting things happening around me. So the night that I was at a club, of course I'm gonna be snapping from there like crazy, and and photographing the pole dancer, because that's an exciting thing. I don't what I don't get every day Snapchat and Instagram people who put stuff up there just for the sake of putting it up there. Okay, you know what my problem is with Snapchat. It is the story when people just put a picture. They'll just put a picture, right, Well, that's called a picture. So put it on Instagram as a picture. It gets more views, and it gets more views. Yeah, but I feel like, look at it and I go, oh, something's gonna happen. Oh it's a rooftop. Something's gonna happen. No, it's just a rooftops. Part of their day, it's part of their story. It's the video let me see the clouds go by. No, it's a picture, boomerang, clouds go left, clouds go right, because a boomerang. But don't put up an instant story where it's a picture. You don't like that it's just a picture. I need something, put some effort into it. Yeah, I disagree with that because I feel because sometimes it's it's a punctuation on your day, and if it's part of your your your misunderstanding me. I don't mean like, oh, here's me at lunch, here's me roller skating, rollerblading pictures and so right, I'm saying, the only thing they put up on this story is just a picture, and you tap it into the next person, like all you did the whole day was a picture. Well I don't. You'll never see that from me in my feet because I post gratuitously. I only do it very important stuff, exciting things are happening, stuff like um, what was today or yesterday? Oh yeah, I went to go visit um Dr Fat loss and I was down to fuck you. Hit the jingle all to be excited that I that. I just say, you're going to the doctor that's helping you lose weight. I'm under two hundred pounds on the scale, man, I'm not today. Wow, that's big. That is well, I haven't seen the ones since high school. You haven't know you've lost weight before. Well, I went back up. Yeah, you're like that. You're like that, You're a fat gambler. I never know when to stop. Yeah, you're like, I'm a two oh five. That's like two that's like one day night, No big deal. I'll quit tomorrow NB. But before you know what you're up to. I mean not you. By the way, I never ever have gotten back to the where I was originally before I started these problems. I'm not gonna say what you weight was, but you were like anyway to me, that was an exciting moment. So I said, I'm gonna snapchat today. You were two thirty nine one right, five eleven at my highest. I was at two fifty five. WHOA, I didn't realize that. Yeah, we had um. I was. I'll never forget the day that I was disgusted with myself. It was that yesterday. Okay, the following are not paid endorsements. They're not products of people who are affiliated or paying me any my fingers on the jingle. Susie Sirloin who owns a meat company, never been paid by her alright, although she did send us all free meat did but not in a long time. Yeah, Susie, where you at? Uh? So, she actually took me out to Sparks Steakhouse, a place that I've swith Smith and Malenski, the place that they named they named after the gun shop, right, No, that Smith and West Smith and so, so we were there and she brought me into the meat locker, the dry age meat, and I'm sitting there and whatever, and we took a whole bunch of pictures with cowboy hats, and the owners went back and see the kitchen hall tour of the place. I thought. I was fascinated by it. I had always wanted to go there my whole life because I had never been to that place. I looked at myself in the mirror, I'm like, who is that guy? It wasn't me. That was the day that I went on that program. So yeah, So that was I was all the way up at two in the refrigerator of steaks and you want to know why you were. By the way, can I bitch for a second about dry age steak? Dry age steak? What that means? Do you know what it means? Like it sounds good, it means it's it was hold on and I don't know. Okay, I saw you tell me that. So I went to a really good steakhouse, not anyone's we've ever mentioned on this podcast. My wife and I was like, you know what we've been hearing about this place. We want to go. I want to go, want to go. So we went and the guy's like, oh, I said, talk, talk me through your steaks, Cowboys, Steak rip By, steak keebone all right now, He says, uh, what do you like? I tell him I normally eat and he says, should try the dry age steak. It's it's a special today. It's a ounce whatever it was, big thing. And so I get it and and and I take and I'm eating it. It doesn't taste right. It tastes moldy. It tastes like like it went bad. Steak. Dude, let me tell a story. Are you new to this podcast? But did you not know it at the time? Oh? I figured it's like it's aged, like when you have aged guda, when you get like a cheese or like an aged wine. It's good. Right. The steak tasted bad, so I tell the guy it tastes like ship, and he goes, oh, let me get you another one. He gets the other one, go it tastes like ship. So the manager comes over because the way the didn't explain it, and he says, let me explain the dry age process. By that point, I looked it up on my phone. They basically leave a steak out on the table, unrefrigerated until it gets a layer of fucking mold on, and then they cut away the mold. Yeah, but here's the thing. If they don't cut the mold away properly, and the mold seeps into the top of the steak, and you little moldy flavor, you're eat moldy steak. Where you Where did you go for this? I went to a really nice steakhouse. Oh don't you worry. I got a free steak and free This is a couple of years, like the future name of your book. But I wanted to let me just say this. It rises with toots. Okay, I can't figure that one right now. People going boots and it was terrible. But what but no, no, that'sn't that isn't no pun intended an acquired taste. We'll get to them in a second. That is an acquired taste. It's something that you actually you look for. That flavor, that specific flavor that you hate is what you look for in dry age steak that you know what, Here's what happened. This is my theory. Somebody left some steak out on the table in a restaurant. Someone got the rain that was going there to left the steak out. It went bad. They're like, you know what, let's tell people it's it's it's a delicacy and sell it. They're like, oh, it's a it's dry, it's aged, dry aged. What does that mean? Left it out on the counter over night by mistake? I bet you There's been a lot of examples of this in history. There's got to be other food tweet us at David underscore Brody at Brooklyn Boys, wtf at what are you again? At Scary Jones and let stuff you like dry eg steak or you call bullshit on it? Also tweets second handle, which I'm about to give you now right now, so I don't ask me on Twitter, and don't I'm never gonna tell you. So uh on the topic, it's the same thing with what's that uh it truffles. Truffles they're so expensive truffle seat when it's truffle season, as Jay Z says in his wraps on or Curb Enthusiasm this year, the season, they they actually have pigs and dogs like sniffing them out of the dirt in Italy for truffles. And it's a specific taste. Either you love it or you hate hate it. I love it. I hate it when I smell truffle, I just I lose all control. Oh it's terrible. Okay, I'll give me a truffle story. I I sit there and I'm like, I need to have sandwiches. Truffle got me free dessert. How so I'm out to dinner in Okay. I don't you like chuffle butter on your joke? So I'm out to dinner with Jamie, my co host from Walkers and Talkers podcast, which, by the way, I want to clear the air. You don't have to be a fan of the Walking Dead to enjoy the Walkers and Talkers podcast. We're very funny. Okay, so Jamie, and that was okay, that's fine. I'm sarting to tell you today I plug my other podcast, Speaking Volumes with Sharon I. You gotta look for it. Speaker, coming suits, I Heart Radio. Okay, sharing me, sharing me, sharing me. We do a relationship type though, sharing I Sharon, I know I share. No, At the beginning of the sentence, it's Sharon I, and then where you put it in the middle, it's sharing me. Remember if you moved shared this a sentence still makes sense. So sharing me do this pod that you can't say me do a podcast? Share I do a podcast with share. That's fine third base. So yeah. So so anyway, Speaking Volumes, I listened to the last episode and you you talked about me, did I? Yeah? You said how I don't like the birthday list on the Brooklyn Boys podcast, and now it's on your other podcast you like Brought, and Chef said, I get it if you understood what we're just beginning that one. Anyway, I'd like you look front Spreaker. Yes, and it's gonna be soon on i iTunes and I Heart and all that other stuff coming soon. But as you were saying, we keep, we keep diverting, diverting. But that's okay, that's what we do. You were talking about right before that, Do I need to stop this and rewind to see what are we talking about? I interrupted you because I because it was a slip product in. So Jamie and I were out in l A for the Walking the Walking Dead premier season eight. I won't play the jingle other though, we're just going this helly circle. No Pop to Life flew us out there. It gave us the trip. That was great anyway. So we went to dinner at Rio's r O Postrophees. They have a place in New York that has like four tables, this Italian place in Harlem can get in and they sell They sell the jawed sauce for like nine dollars a job. By the way, if you want a reservation at Rado's, you have to find someone who has one, an existing regular reservation, and you gotta get in touch with that person to see if cold that week. But in l A, they have a much bigger restaurant to get in. So I was like, oh, we should go there because you can't get into New York. So we went into l A. We went for dinner, And first of all, they don't have chicken palm in the menu. What the fuck? What kind of Italian restaurant doesn't sell chicken palm? If I go to an Italian restaurant that's trying too hard to be upscale and doesn't sell chicken palm, I'm out. I check the menu. If you have too foud food not to have chicken palm? Fuck you. Would you want to a Chinese restaurant didn't self fight rice? He? Would you go to a Chinese restaurant didn't sell h want on soup? Fuck now? No? Would you want a Mexican restaurant didn't sell burritos? Hell now, exactly? Would you go to fast food place that didn't have drive through? No, I'm gonna get out of my car. Fuck you. So we go to Rayo's. So I said to them, I go, you have a veal palm, jan and you have a chicken poccata, I said. So, I said to the waitress, can you guys do a chicken palm? She says, yeah, of course. So the chicken palm fantastic. It's really good. By the way, even though it's not on the menu like you make it. It's really good. It's like, well, if you ask for it, we'll make it. Put it on the menu anyway. I order the Mozrala sticks, Giant house made delicious motrall sticks. They were like chicken croquette size, big fat, delicious looking, and the sauce at rios. Hold on, I gotta take a swig of water home. Okay, hold on, I got this is my water with vitamins and minerals in it for my programming one. M okay, I had to do that because you're starting to make me hungry. Continue. So on the menu it says mozzarella sticks, right, and I think it a little bit of presute, little presuto in it. And it says wood sella cheese right, fried delicious whatever. Oh it's potato croquettes. That's what it was. Potato croquette, woodsarella rice, no potato and prosute fried delicious potato croquette. Oh my god. If I dip it in the sauce, I take a bite. M little sour there, so I'll take I'll take an on the bite and the three of them. It was like nine dollars for three, but they were there, big croquettes and then taste right, Jamie tried just something something tastes right. So I said that. I called the waits over. I said, hey, something wrong with the croquettes here. I mean, I'm a common sort of Tian food. So she says, I don't know. I said, it tastes sour. It's something wrong with it. It doesn't taste like the cheese went bad. Something's not right. So so she she she she cuts a piece off because she saw the one. I had to want to play it in touch. She takes. I said you could try it and touch. It takes pieces, no tats, sort of tastes like I said, is there something in here? Because the rest of the menu says specifically potatoes, pre judo and muzzadella. And she says, oh, there's white truffle, like a truffal oyal. Ah, there it is. So I sort of maybe gobble up the whole place. So I said, I don't like truffle oil. She's, oh, a lot of people do. Why wouldn't send them men? You you you know what they did? They check filight peck on me. You know why though, because everyone loves truffles. Truffle, I don't love truffles. You don't like truffle the expensive brody. Yeah, well all the more reason the fact you said pigs sniffing out. I don't know if you guys google, you guys have to google this. There's a there's a piece on sixty minutes. Remember that, you know Sunday Night Show on CBS. Google I do a great impression of the theme song in sixty minutes. Go for it. Yeah, so google that and and google truffle Italy. Fake truffles. There's a whole there's a whole thing on truffles. Fake fake truffle Italy. Uh, sixty minutes. You google it. They show you, first of all, when it's authentic, how they bring the pigs to the hills and the pigs are like taking their snouts. And the reason why they use pigs is because they'll pull them out of the ground and they won't eat them. They spit them out. And then the dog because they don't like truffles either. Well anyway, other animals will eat them. And then you don't have truffle. But then keep paying the ground. No, you have to don't put the put it on the menu, and don't put it in a potato croquette. Have you ever had a potato croquette that had mushroom oil in it. No, but no, no, it's heavenly brody. Then put it on then like truffle fried cheese. No, no, no, I don't want mushroo. I don't listen our listeners. No, I don't eat vegetables. I say, I don't want mushrooms. I just thought everybody loves truffle. No, it's beat. Everything is better with truffle on it. Any dish it tastes. To tell you what why I don't like truffles. Another reason I like truffles. It's false advertising, because what do you eat chocolate tuffles? You have ever chocolate tuffle that's delicious, But that's that. And you hear truffles, you hear oh like chocolate, You go oh yummy, And then it's mushroom juice. I don't want shrimp juice in my potato chocolate. You think chocolate, yeah, hashtag shrium juice. I want chocolate truffles. Well, when you think fun, dude, do you think chocolate, cheese, cheese? I think chocolate. No, chocolate is chocolate? Is is righting the coattails and cheese fondu not chocolate. You know what, you not the truck. When I do, I think of marshmallows and chocolate, and you know, you know what that is melted chocolate. It's like age steak. It's chocolate that melted. They're like, you know, dipshit in it. They charge you, don't. Yeah, listen, my wife and I honeymoon in Switzerland and we went to every city in Switzerland and we tried fond do in every city that's fond So that's trickery. By the way, if the Melting Pot wants to sponsor this podcast, I'm all in. If they're not out of business yet, I'll tell you what else I don't like. The Hot Oil Fund, the meat fund. You're just putting meat and you cook on your own food in hot oil and it bubbles and sparks at you and it burns you. Cheese fondue. Okay. When I think of the word blint, what comes to mind? Go the good Year blends. No cheese blenz. Nope, I think of cherry blinch. I think of a fruit filled blinch. Yeah, you're not a Jew, so I don't care what you think. But who's to say that cheese is the thing that needs to be filled? In a blinch. All right, what do you what are you putting a kindition by? Like Google? Condition you condish is potato k and I s a potato potato, But some people would say it's a kasha kind ish or a spinach kndish. What broccoli and tread to kindish kasha? Yeah? Anyway, the word truffle is always associated talking. Okay, you know when you when you post this episode, put up a pole truffle, chocolate truffle with a picture of chocolate tuffle, or we can make it a boom room. Could you make it a boom ring? Do you make a booming a pole? It's gonna be a still picture though you hate those, but it's a pole, so it's something A pole is okay? Yeah, poll's okay? Um okay, So god, I have two directions I wanted to go in. Let me tell you what I got on my list. We'll tell about your list. I got a Michael Rappaport update. Do I already talked about this al ready? Not on the podcast? I got a CVS update. We talked about that. Get the Chicken wing place, yep, we but we both have emails and tweets. You want to read. But I want to get my mom on the phone because she's got a free dessert story. That's fine too. I have some stats. I just some great stats about our podcast that our listeners are gonna do. We really need to tell them on the podcast. No, I think we should share it. This is important st I like looking at it and then smiling. I got two reasons to call bullshit on you. Okay, Well, this is gonna be a long podcast. We're not even started. We haven't even started yet. I always paints in front of you and I haven't even looked out it. That's the beauty of this. For doing this. Betwe my half hour ready, So you know. I did want to say a shout out to the Acquired Taste podcast. If you happen to be it's an acquired an Acquired Taste with Bethany, Kathleen and Sam from the show. Uh, they're doing that. They're one hundred episode live, although they they're up in a hundred and ten already, but well they're hundred four. To honor the passing of the hundred episode, they are hosting a live thing at a bar in Hoboken called the Ainsworth, New Jersey. In Hobok, New Jersey. Yes, and they're gonna be there with their audience and they're sold out. You can't if you don't have a ticket. Oh what am I saying? Can you go in and drop the bar? I think they're booked up, it's a private event book. I just pretty much just told everybody pretty much. I was trying to plug it anyway where Brody and I are going because they asked us to go the US right, but they got a dress code in place. I'm not doing it. I'm gonna nothing. He came to me today, it said, scary. They got a color code. Everybody, everybody who's coming to this podcast, this live episode is going to be wearing black, pink, and red, or any combination thereof. And I said, I haven't got anything black. But I said, is it a Bethany said, isn't that a a cult? I mean, when you're telling people what to wear next, you know it's it's part of it's the beginnings of a cult. And she said it sure is. I mean I don't mind where that's the thing though. A cult they get you in slowly, right, they get you in, they hook you, and all of a sudden you're in a cult. What's the name of the podcast and acquired taste? Right you listen, you get an acquired taste and you're hooked, right You and I are laughing. But if we show up in pink, black and red, we're gonna get sucked in. We're part of that cult. We're gonna be like acquired toologists. I think I think it's tastologists. I think it's cute though. I think it's cool they're doing this. I kind of, I kinda I'm gonna midiwarial black and I'll be like a stage hand. I'm a roadie today. Hi guys, I'm wearing all blow You are nice to wear shirts that say better podcast Brooklyn Boys. But we're not playing that game. But I know it, just like I wanna, I wanna. I'm gonna have a sign like the Today Show, like I came all the way from Iowa. Love you guys, love we love our sisters. Anyway, I just thought, like, think back the last time I was told of a dress code. I saw the words dress code. It was back when I was in elementary school, right, and we was you had to wear red, white and blue on Thursdays because of assembly. You remember assembly. Yeah, what was the point of that? Feel like you remember I went to a public school where there were no uniforms, but on Thursdays everyone had a dress code. Everyone had to wear red ties, white shirts, and blue slack. I didn't have that. You have that? What did you have? We just know we didn't have that. We didn't have dress code. What is it proving what life's lesson? You would aformity? But what is it the team? Or did each other? You just discipline? Is a clean look to it for the day that you all look the same. And I felt bad for the kids that didn't have money. Can I tell you the one the less It's like what they they were forced to go out and buy these uniforms and in half. Okay, so speaking of dress code, I'll tell you a story. This is unplanned, but you just maybe think of it. Everything we're doing so far, there's all my jokes here. I gotta do talk about the fact that the zoo named a roach after me, which I don't know if I should be insulted or happy. All Right, So, some someplace I used to work before I was in radio, This person I worked with was getting married, right, and she was inviting everyone from work, uh, to the to the wedding and planning it for like a year. Oh and it's I'm I'm on the phone with Florence and cameraman and different things, right, Okay, huge weddings. She's planning this huge thing. And now you know what black time means. You have to wear a black tuxedo or a black suit, but tuxedo preferred. Then there's black tie optional, which means we'd really like you to wear a black suit tuxedo, but if you don't have it, I get it, but we prefer you wear at least a black suit. Okay, So uh, this is a long time ago. So it was it was right after I got married, so I had a tuxedo. So she invites us to this and I didn't know her husband, but everyone from where it goes at this big thing. So I don't want to get into the level of the hotel or the whatever else. But here's the thing. It's black tie optional. Well I'm like, oh, I got a tuxedo. I'm gonna wear a tux Why should I I don't have a black suit. I already own a tucks from my wedding. I'll wear the tuxedo, get to the wedding and nobody is wearing a black suit. Nobody is wearing a tuxedo except for the guys in the wedding party. That's terrible. How I didn't miss construe. Everybody who came to this wedding saw optional and was like, fuck it, I'm wearing my powder blue fucking suit. It was when you will write black options. When you write it though, you're pretty much not giving the people coming to your wedding enough credit. You're pretty much saying, hey, slob dressing. So this wedding was in a suburb of New York, of New York. It was about an hour and a half outside of New York, and it was more of a small town vibe. So maybe the people I don't I don't want to. I'm on sitting waiting any about small towns. I'm just thinking about this area, where where it was, where her family was from. I don't know nobody had black tip. That's at the point of my story. To the point was I felt like my wife was in like an evening gown, like we looked, we looked like we were going to like it was a Saturday evening. He is the worst part of it. It was a buffet dinner, right, you have to go up and get your food at the buffet like and it was chafing dishes, which is fine. I'm not judging chafing dishes, but usually in the black tie affair, they serve you the food. So there was in Congo and it didn't The two didn't go together. But that's not the point of my story. So because I had to go up and get my food every you know, fifteen minutes. Every time I got up, no one knew where I was sitting. The photographer kept coming up to me and saying, hey, we're taking pictures in the wedding party. We need you. They thought I was part of the wedding party because I was the only guy to talk Cito besides the wedding party. Brody, simple, fix and your jacket off. Take the jacket. I had a vest on, like I had to take to tie off, loosen it up. That's what I did. But that's what I did by the middle. By the middle of the party, it took my jacket off. The point was my dinner was ruined. We need you, Oh, we're taking pictures. Sure. By my table, I was like table picture. No with the wedding party. I'm not part of the wedding party. Fifteen minutes later, as if he didn't recognize me, Uh, we're taking pictures. We need you. I'm not in the wedding party. Oh I saw you're wearing a tuxedo. Black tie optional means at least give it a chance, give it a shot. Wear a dark suit. There were three people in powder blue suits. Are you kidding me? Not a rant? I'm just saying, I hear you. I threw you off on that one. That one just came out of nowhere. That was that was like pent up anger that you've been feeling. You talked about having to wear an outfit. I felt like, like, you know, you put on the like the time you guys fucked me. Where you me smoking jacket? No, no, no, no, no no, I'm going back a couple of years. Jacket. We had an event to do with the morning show. I forgot where it was and and the invites went out and everyone told me that I had to wear a suit and tie. And I showed up at this event. All right, jay Z, I showed up at this event and all you guys laughed at me. Like it was a cash it's a casual event. Scary jokes on you. Ha ha, You're now the best dressed in the room. These motherfucker's the entire show, from Elvis right on down to you bro of course, down to me. At the time, you were like a little minute. You know, you were missed a joke stare at the time, and that's what you did. Anyway, point is who do you think had that idea? By the way, to tell you it was you. You all did it. You all got in on the joke. And then I showed up and I looked like a schmuck because I was overdressed. Right, And now you do that deliberately when you show up in a Versacey jacket to a company get together Sasacchi Versachi. Yeah, not sponsor, but you wish they were. I wish they were all right. By the way, um, we get my mother on the phone. We window, Yeah, let's get your mom on the phone. Um. But before I do that, I want to give a I want to give a shout out uh to two gypsy souls. A couple of weeks ago. I was invited, not a client, not a sponsor. Don't pay me then, a couple of weeks ago, Um, the Grammys were in town, and I walked. They invited me to the celebrity gift Lounge. I don't know how I got invited to this. The company that put it on, I don't have the name name. You went to a Grammy party. I went to go to the Grammy Hell no, they showed tell me to show up at some fancy restaurant in midtown and they said, scary, we want you to walk to celebrity gift lounge and collect gifts. And I'm like, thank you, you know, like the celebrities did, except you're not a celebrity and you're not gonna be invited to the to the real Grammys tonight. So I'm mark, all right, I never get invited to these things. It must have been a mistake. I'm gonna show up. So I walked through little odds and ends and little watch keys and gifts, and these two women were there, and they have an entire line of clothing Rock clothing. Uh it's uh. They make the They take these old flannel shirts and then they take these um rock t shirts from from Days of Your and they take the great great reference to a classic friends episode. They take the T shirt and they sew it on and they make these prints and they put it onto this old flannel. So they make these flannel shirts and these button down shirts. So she's got me rummaging through the rack of stuff that they had on site, and it was like things like, ye know, like Zeppelin and the Beatles and def Leppard and yeah, and so I was going through there and and so what did you did you get? Well? I said, well, she goes, well, which one you want? Scary? I said, well, you guys, I kind of like the Beastie Boys. And she's, you know what, we don't have that here, but give me your address and we're gonna actually send you. Uh, we're gonna make one for you custom make one a Beastie Boys because we don't have it with us. So did you take one? But that's not the plant of my story. But there were bands I liked, you know, I like those bands, I know, But that's that. So so today in the mail, look at this a flannel. A bythough you wearing a flannel today too, No, it's just planned. But anyway, so they gave me, they got me a flannel. Look at the Beastie Boys. Check your head. The album cover, the black and white with the three of them sitting on the sidewalk onto this cool flannel shirt. How awesome is that what they had? They had they had the other ones, So anyway, I'd like to thank you. Yeah they did. They had everything you name it. They had it from the sixties and seventies. So thank you to Gypsy Souls eighties really, but you didn't get the eighties stuff yet too. Gypsy Souls t w O gypsy g G y P s E A Soul's s O U L s um. So he went, am, you're plugging them because they gave you a free shirt, but then then pay me for this the jangle? What are you talking you about? A free shirt? The shirt? Anyway, you gotta go find them on Instagram and Facebook. You're still going, I didn't get a shirt there at two middle you're plugging them on our podcast and you're the only one. I got a shirt anyway, and you could have got one for me, you didn't, Okay, Oh Brodie, who would you have wanted? Well, you know Deaf Leppard or Kiss or you know that I've mentioned on this podcast. I like, well, And the thing is, how am I gonna tell these ladies, hey, look this band's current bands I like, also my, My, my partner, and crime on my podcast. He's not here, Uh, but he wasn't invited to this, but here, you can give me the shirt. And if I asked for a second shirt, they would have looked at me. Funny, tell you don't ask for a second shot. They would have been like, you better be thankful that you're getting a shirt. You could have just said, you know what, these bands aren't really my style. It it's funny though, I do a podcast with a guy that loves this band, but I'm more of a beast boy chair And they weren't going, oh, you know what, take that for your for your buddy. I was. If they didn't say that, well, why should they now, because it's not like we're both talking about them. You're talking about them on our podcast. You got a shirt, I get a shirt. I feel bad now. Now don't you talk about the podcast with share because then she's gonna get jealous. So anyway, I'll tell you what. I'm gonna call them and I'm gonna get your shirt. Which one you want? We'll talk about that later. You do that, I will absolutely do that for you. I didn't. I just didn't feel like I didn't want to feel like greedy, bashed. No, no, I'm not listening. I'm happy for you. I don't want to tell I'm my happy for you. But you saw shirts that I liked and you weren't like it's very cool. I don't even know. I don't I don't know what they're worth, but you know that they call it. But that's really cool to Gypsy souls dot net. All right, you gave enough t w oh gypsy. Well, if I'm not gonna me at you for that, I have two things I do want to be at and then we'll call my mother. By the way, you're gonna get your shirt. I know people are gonna start pitching at me. Scary that was wrong, But think of how you would be here you were invited to getting. You're gonna be like, you know what, I want two of them? You know me, You're gonna be labeled as that guy who wanted to work out some for my buddy, my partner in crime. I absolutely would have. I gonna absolutely get you two things. I'm not picking on you. This isn't my bone to pick. But you did funk up on the show. It's kind of I want to just on the radio. Els was talking about going on an Africa trip, okay, and the last time he went to Africa, he went on like a monkey adventure, guerrillas, apes, monkeys, whatever, and you can see them in a natural habitat and like go near them. So I said, well, what are you doing this time? You're not gonna want a monkey tour again? And he said, We're doing the Big the Big Five, the Big Five Cats Tour, because Africa's five big cats. And you said, do they have lions? What list of cats in Africa wouldn't start with lions? I mean that's like, that's like an Italian restaurant without chicken palm, Like, did they have lions? Well? What else would they have? What are the are the five cats you think they have in Africa that wouldn't include lions. Well, here's here's where I don't think of. When he said cats, I'm thinking of David cats business partaking of jaguars. I'm thinking of diet tigers. I'm thinking of those things. But the name me the five cats you thought of that weren't a lion, that weren't a line yeah, that we that weren't lions? Yeah, I saw you jaguars tigers, that's too uh pumas all right? Is that a cat? I don't believe they live in Africa. I'll check that did more of them. But it's a cat. It's a big last Yet what else would I don't know what other cats are they? Okay? So yeah, so lions would have been should have been one. Yeah, you forgot cheetahs. Cheetahs, yeah, cheta and a little something maybe would have reminded you if you were going to the movies next week. Black panther ah, that's right, panthers or you're a racist cat guy, you're a cat racist? Come on alright anyway, So here's my other bone to pick with you. I want to I want to pick this bone with you before we call my mother. Okay, but we have to do before we get to your mom, which we're going to in a second. I did want to do the jokes, the unused jokes, So so let's do them. And what's your other Do the jokes my mother on the phone, see if she likes them. She's a good fan of me. Okay, So how long have you known me? We've established this, but how long have you known me? At least twenty years? Years? Now? One of my kids? Are you? Now? You know my kids? Their whole lives? Yes? Right, okay? So last week when uh okay, hold on Kala settled here from from great radio, and I said, two of my daughters are coming up here and my daughter, two of my daughters were here and they were outside. You went, oh, who's here? And you said again you said no, no, no, no, no no, that wasn't no no, you said, you said Sarah. And then the other girl's name you got, right okay, And I said, what he said, isn't that Sarah? And uh, let's say me, she don't have a don't name Michelle. But he said that Sarah Michelle. And I said, I don't have a daughter named Sarah. You're like one. But I got two of them right now. You got one of them and you said, oh is that? And so you got the little one right? But you my other daughter is fourteen years old and you called her by the name. It isn't any of my daughter's names. Did it start with us? No? No, Dad, I don't know. I have to go hold on a second, everyone, I have to go look at Brodies Facebook page. I don't have my kids on my Facebook page. I don't post my kids. I don't talk about their names, but you know their names. Well, maybe that's why I don't know the names, because you don't post it anywhere, and you don't remind me you know them their whole lives. I talk about them all the time. I've never seen you haven't seen it. You don't get me a shirt. You don't know my daughter's name. She's in high school. A lot of times people that don't have kids know your sister's name, your brother's name, your parents names. You don't know my daughter's name. Unbelievable. Did you go home and tell her that to make her feel to break her little heart? You think her name is Sarah. It's not like her name is Susan and you call it Sarah. It doesn't even start with an S. It doesn't sucked, I really could it started with an S. No, No, what a Daniale's kids names? Oh? Oh, Preston and um and um Yeah, okay, I think about a minute. Spencer, yeah, you know Greg Tea's names, kids names. Yeah, my kids are older than all their kids. You know that. I know kids. Yeah, I know, and I know Greg T's kid's names stuck. Get my mother on the phone. I'm going to I want our listeners to hear where I get it from that. My mom was on our first episode when we asked her if she knew a w TF man and she said, yep, what Yeah, she's great. I love your mom, I know you do. She loves you. I'm gonna ask her about the shirt thing to tell her the scenario. These phones suck, they really do. This is terrible. How did you go from busy from he done the wrong? Plus with late? Probably my mom? Hi? Hi, listen, okay, so welcome to the Brooken Boys podcast. This is your second appearance. Welcome back. All right, now listen, I want you to tell you a story, but I want you I want to see what you would do in this situation. Scary went somewhere. I'll tell you this story in a minute. And he doesn't think he did anything wrong. And I said I would have done differently, and he says, oh, you can't do that. I'm just gonna tell you this scenario and you tell me what you would have done in that situation. Okay, okay, okay. Scary went to a Grammy party, fancy party, right, little at at a place, and he got to walk the gift lounge. You know what the gift lounges when the gifts celebrities like a bag of stuff. Right, So there's this great company. We're not gonna talk about the company's name again, and they make they take old flannel shirts and they put album covers on the back and make it like a rock shirt. And they were like, oh, pick out, excuse me, pick out any shirt you want. And all of the bands they had there were bands I like. Okay, right said, there was led Zeppelin, deaf Leppard, classic rock bands that I like. Scary Knowes who I like, sees all the shirts and he says to them, oh, well, uh, these aren't really my style of music. I like the Beastie Boys. They go, you know what won't make your beast boys? One will mat and he just got here today. This got here today. So so it looks great. I'm jealous. It's awesome. So I said, Scary, why why didn't you grab me a shirt while you're there and say hey, can I get a shirt? And he says that would be tacky. So I offered him a solution is there a way that he could have gotten me a shirt where it wasn't tacky. M she's thinking, could have said it's for a very dear friend or a co host. Co host right with a big social media that's that said like saying I can't I can't have a shirt come to my show and my co host won't get one and he loves this kind of music. Yes, he should have gotten you. Okay, that's my mom. Mama, Brody, it's scary, but put yourself in my shoes for a second. I was at a was at a gift lounge, and prob I shouldn't have probably even been invited to. I was there, I was nervous. I was walking through. They offer this to me. How do I how do I ask for two of that? You know two of that? You're when you need to be is a Yiddish word that means someone who gets attle extra, like when you go to clubs, you get a little bottle service, you schmooze, you drop your name, you get free dinners. You you know you schmooze. Yeah, you know how to do with you how to get free stuff? Yeah? All right? And I said to him myself, all he had to say was Mom? All I had to say was And by the way, you're for saying I don't like those and saying I'd like something off the board and a different one. I think you should have taken. Technically, you should have taken whatever she offered you and been happy with it. Mom. And the apple hasn't fall too far from the tree. Say okay, well, let's go. Let's get to the reason we have my mother. What's going on? I tell a story about what happened with you? Where were you in Walmart? My mother was at Walmart? Okay? Walmart? Is had you say that again? Walmart? Okay? Walmart? Good? You thought my mother said Walmart? Sure? Not a chance in hell. I'm just saying about the corrector, don't evan great knock. My mother was a school teacher. You're going to give me a chance to talk to you, guys, past I love you, Mama, Brody. Do tell you you're at Walmart? What happened? Okay? I'm with my niece and my niece's son, and we shopped and I spent over a hundred dollars on all kinds of junk. Was my first time in Walmart since I live out here and When I got to the register, the nice lady at the register said to me, how would you like a Walmart credit card? I said, oh, I have plenty of credit cards. I don't need a Walmart credit card, but thank you. She said, well, if you get one right now, you'll save take that's like magic to my years five hours. I'm a roady doesn't pay us up five dollars. So I said, well, what do I have to do to get a credit card? She said, it's very easy. You just punch in a few little questions right here on the keypad and it'll be fine. So they asked my name, address, phone number, social security and reference of any other credit card. And it's supposed to go right through. Well it doesn't go through. They said, there's an error. Could you do it again? So I put all the things in again. In the meantime, there's a long line of people behind me waiting to check out, and they're getting restless. The natives are getting restless. So I put everything in again, and all of a sudden, it says, I'm We're sorry, you've been turned down. I'm humiliated. My mother's credit nieces standing there, my nephew and my grand nephew was with her, and all these people in line behind me, and they turned me down. So I was that the right thing there. Scary does what he always does when, like when black people around, he goes, hey, what's up my man? I don't do that. You just tried to try my mother by saying you're not you stop it points with me. You're an Italian boy from Brooklyn. You can't make points with me. I loved you, but you can't make you. Okay, go on, I say to the girl, you can't turn me down. I have excellent credit. I even got a mortgage. I have no problem getting credit. What is this She said, well, I don't know. You just can't. So I said, well, I have to pay them with another credit card and I'm going to miss out on the twenty five dollars. She said, well, there's nothing we could do about it. You have to pay and I can't give you the dollar discount. So I said, well, is there a phone number I can call up? She said, yes, here's a piece of paper with the phone number, and you can call up and you can, you know, dispute this. So, of course, when I got home, the first thing I did was called the phone number, and the woman on the phone says to me, there's no problem. You've been given the credit card. I said, what do you mean? In front of a whole bunch of people, they told me my credit was no good and I was turned down. She said, well, there must have been a glitch in the computer, because there's no problem. You've been approved and your credit card is going to be mailed out. Wait a minute, I don't want it. If I'm not getting the twenty five dollars, I don't need your credit card. I don't want it. I said, what's the point. I don't need it Walmart credit card. I've already paid the full bill. I didn't get the twenty five dollars. Well, we'll see what we can do. Will help you out. We'll send you a gift card for twenty five dollars. I said, no, even isn't even I knew it. I knew it. By the way, I'm a titled to dollars. So you're offering me twenty five dollars. It's like you're offering me nothing. That just so our audience knows who taught who? Even is not even? Well, it was kind of mutual, but it's mostly your line. Yeah, it's my line. Okay, So go on. So you said, I said, no, I can't accept the card. If you're just going to give me twenty five dollars, you have to do better than that because you're embarrassed. And I said, I was embarrassed in front of my nephew and my niece and in front of all the customers, and I was humiliated. You have to give me something for that humiliation. And you wasted ten minutes and I had a pay using another credit card. So now I have a hundred dollar bill charge instead of seventy. Brilliant You've already screwed me out of So I feel like I'm listening to Brody with without putting on a female voice. Right now. This is awesome going. So this is my son. This is the thing we do together. So we do talk. Guys are a great team. Continue. You want to hear my story because it's good. Yeah. So I said, no, don't give me the credit card if you don't give me anything extra. I got to get some free deserve. So she says, well, let me see what I can do. She's no, there's nothing I can do. I can just give you the twenty dollars. We're not authorized. I said, well, then don't send me the card. She said, well, it's probably already been mailed out, but I'll see what I can handle. Well, about a week later, I get a nice, fat envelope in the mail with my Walmart credit card and all the paperwork that goes with it. And in the envelope is a coupon for thirty five dollars. Again I have deserved. This is great. By the way. Yeah, I mean I couldn't have written that, but I don't know. Just okay, First of all, you don't have to write it. When it's the truth. It's easier to tell the story, Mamma Brodie, But you have to understand something prior to doing this podcast and to knowing your son as well as I know him. I would have been the guy to have just gotten on the phone and got my twenty five dollars and gotten out of there. But if there's one thing Brodie has continued to teach everybody me and then people on the podcast, is what exactly the example you set this afternoon, even as not even I want more, I want my free But here's the question. Remember at a baseball game, I said something to you. I said, you could learn a lot from David. Pay attention to him. Yes you remember me saying that, Yes, I do remember that we were at the Brooklyn Cyclones game. We were in Brooklyn, as a matter of fact, were there and you could learn a lot from him, And I tell him he could learn a lot from me. There. Well, there you go. So Moe, thank you. That's your free dessert story. We're gonna we're gonna talk about unused jokes now, So will you'll listen to the podcast tonight you'll hear everything that we're gonna do. Okay, boys, but thank you for calling in. And just mind everybody, what does WTF stand for? What? Thanks Mom? Bye? No Mom? Got free dessert? Now? I would held out for more, okay, But the thing is we're in a situation like that. Where does one and I'm speaking for a lot of people who are probably asking the same question, where does one work up the nerve to ask for free dessert? I mean, because in my brain, hold on you, You've called, you went home, you called the customer service, you straightened out the problem. Okay, you straightened it out, and you got your twenty five? Where how do you reach back for that extra to ask and where do you work up the nerve to do so? Because that's where I went. End the phone me personally, I'm like, okay, cool, I got what I wanted out of this, Okay, but where just how do you remember when we went embarrassment? Remember when you went to Target with a cost? Where you went to Target, you shop for an hour and they scooge over the cash, registering and put everything back. They sent you on draw a gift cards. Trump time is money, HI took. Here's the thing, But in this case, a lot of equating embarrassment, well know, the feeling of embarrassment. You know what that's gonna cost. The fact that it took ten minutes for her to wait, the fact that my niece, her niece rather and and her niece's son. I think that my mother's bad credit. She felt she was mortified because my mother, my mother, my mother's emials. She pays every bill the day it's due to the full amount. She doesn't ever have a Hey, I don't want to hear about her. Yeah, and I blocked, shut your mouth, punch you. So she's very organized with her bills. She's very takes a lot of pride in her credit and for her to be turned down for a credit card was mortifying to her. And the fact she had to go home and make a phone call. That's time. Time is money, And as I said it, people are now learning, which I'm gonna read some emails. I got even is not even They owed the twenty five dollars on the Walmart card that minute. I think, listen, I think most of the magic then then then most of America is not educated in this. I'm going to change the culture of America with my book when it comes out. But I'm gonna read some can I we should? We read some email now and some use jokes. I feel like to said, all right, we'll go this joke I was doing. Then I want to read some email talking about Michael Rappaport and read some tweets. Hi. We were talking about if you write your own book, what would you call it? Where that Elvis said everyone has a book in them. Now you already know the book my book title. So I wrote Elvis a joke and he didn't do it. Now, we always teach you about your breath, right, he's been yelling you would be bad by It's fine. I have. I have a clean deal of hell. Okay, remember remember the guy that the doctor we had up here. You licked the back of your hand and then you smell it. That's how you tell if you have bad breath. All right, So the name of your book that Elvis didn't read was velvet ropes and never use sculp hit didn't use that. I'm glad um. Little known fact is uh in the uh in the prequels to Harry Potter movies. Uh, it's it's sort of a known thing. They're gonna not gonna really make a big deal out of it. But the character of Alba's Dumbledore, the head of Hogwarts, is gay. So I wrote a joke that in the book they're gonna call him Albus dumble back door. Get into that joke. Uh, let's see. Oh, Bethany was out sick last week for a couple of days, and so Elvis said, she's outsick, you know, with that thing that's going around that everyone's getting. So I wrote her pies. Hidn't do the joke. Carry Underwood got into a car she got pulled over for speeding, right, So my joke was all she had to tell the cop was she let Jesus take the wheel. Wait, didn't do that joke? Nope. If you don't know, she has a song called Jesus Take the Reel. Uh oh. A guy called up and said he got injured. We were talking about have you ever tried to reenact the scene from a movie and you get injured? And he said he was trying to be Spiderman and he swung jumped off something onto a tree. He said he would grab onto the tree like Spiderman and climb the tree, but he ended up smashing his private parts onto the tree. So so my joke was, oh, you hurt your Peter Parker Spiderman's real names, and Peter is a peniscript of course. Um oh. For top of train, the question was what ruined sex? You because Scotty b farted the other night during sex and his wife would not have sexually because he farted, So the question was what ruined sex view? My answer was marriage. He didn't do that. That is great. Why wouldn't need to do that punch? Why did you go to me and say Brodie what? And I he didn't do it. We had a guy on the phone, was it today or yesterday? First caller of the day. He uh, he was calling about mushrooms. He works for mushroom company. Yeah, and so my I told Alvis to ask him if his company makes truffle butter. He wouldn't ask, And then I I wanted Danielle ask asked the mushroom guy if he knows Mario and Luigi. She wouldn't do that either. All right, Then we were talking about stupid products. We were making fun of, like products you don't need, like a banana slicer that's a knife. So Elvis says he brought a hot dog cutter. So my joke was, oh, a moil. Now oil is the kind of rabbi that cuts the circumcision when you Jewish kids to get lamoil. Those making a hot dog penis joy, which, by the way, if you have to explain it, I can understand why he didn't do it. Okay, well, some people don't know what a moil is, but that's what it is, the kind of specialized rabbi that that circumcised. But it's still a funny joke. Okay, it's a great joke. So Froggy was in Germany and he was driving on the Autobahn and Danielle thought, because it's Europe that they're driving on the side of the road. No, that's just England. So Danielle said, well, what side of the road do they drive on in Germany? So I said, they drive on the Reich. O God, I could see why he didn't do that one either could be offensive to some people, the Nazis. I hear this, some very good people. All right, sorry everybody, Um, okay, this one he wouldn't do. I tweeted it. But he jokes as well. Okay, So Kylie Jenner, Kylie Kaylee Cugo, one of one of the ya one of the Jenners had a kid. Kylie Jenner had a kid and she named it Stormy. I said, oh, great choice of name. Trump already gave it a hundred and thirty thousand dollars to stop crying. It was a political joke. He didn't do it, I understand. I tweeted out, it's a joke, Joe joke, and then this lord between that from your other other accounts, main account. Now he was the joke he wouldn't do. My favorite joke of the week. We did a story about how Dorito's was rumored to be coming out with Lady Dorito's that they're less messy. They crunched less Lady Doritos, I said, Lady Doritos, What next they come out with a line of lady tacos. That's great, tidy dose h. But I guess because Elvis, wouldn't you go unto the joke. I'm not much of a joke. I I leave the funny to you. I don't do it, and plus I'm doing seventeen other things. But this week, for some reason, I threw a few jokes in there. Sometimes he uses them. Today today he did. This week, he had three of them that rejected, and I figured I'd give those to you, right. Also, when you're done, I want to do the favorite joke that he did use. Okay, good, Yeah, Well what was he talking about about him being bad at cards? And then what was your joke? Oh? I I said something about he was playing cards, he's not good at cards, and you were talking about I said, he's I had a winning hand once. I said, Oh, you probably had a pair of queen's you know, I said, I said, oh, he said he was playing cards with Alex's boyfriend, right, I said, oh, you probably had a parent of queens or something like that. I mean a joke, right, Yeah for him, he says, I'm bad at cards. I said, I said, well, you never get it straight, right, You'll never get it straight because he's not straight. Okay, Okay, he didn't do that joke. And then today, oh, today we were talking about was a guy in the new There was a guy in the news, the dude dead who reports and he helps people with these problems solves on the news. Help me Howard, Help me Howard guy awesome. Then on Channel eleven and New York p i X. But somebody beat him with a bat because he went They came after Hi because they was film to get like money back to somebody and I and I said, now can I say my joke? Jo? So I said, oh, help me Howard became help me hys Howard, and I wrote, you know they're gonna change the name of his segment to hurt me Howard, right, But he didn't do that, Joe. And finally I'm okay with these when I really put my mind. Yeah. And then uh, the day after the super Bowl, video surfaced of all the crazy eluding, the riots, the nutts, nutting things that were going on in Philly, and they showed one guy eating horse poop. Right, So I said, well, changes the new name of their chance to fly feces fly. Now, if you're from Philly, you know fly eagles fly is their thing. So fly feces fly. If you say it with enough feces like that, you can get away with it. You're not laughing. I get it. He's's cute. But yeah, I guess he didn't think it was feces. He ate it, right, but the name of but but the name of their chant was fly feces fly. But maybe if you took the E A G L E s eagles and made it like e A T like poop poop something like that. I don't know, I don't know. Whatever. Anyway, I thought it was cute enough to go on the radio because we said more inane things before than that. So my favorite joke of the week was today, um, which Elvis delivered beautifully, which was we were talking about said going to Mars and and he's so then someone was like, we should make Mars a penal colony. So he said, he said, we should make it a penal colonague. So I laughed because oh, because I said penal. Yeah, I saw said then the joke I said, was well, if it was a penal colony instead of Mars, it should be on Uranus, which was great, which is right, okay, and I used that punchline he did. Okay. So we got some emails, some tweets, and then I got a rant update Michael Rappaport update. What do you want? That sounds like it's mail time? Welcome? You've got mail so antiquated but still great. You can always email us at the Brooklyn Boys podcast at gmail dot com. By the way, tons of tons of email coming in with free dessert stories. I'm gonna forward them to you. Uh here's one from Aaron Ryder. She said, started out listening to Acquired Taste Pot and Acquired Taste Podcast, which eventually led me to Brooken Boys. I'm so glad I did it. My husband Lucas and I listen to you guys religiously, and I try to introduce you to everyone I know. She spreads. She it's the love she tells people about us. That's the best kind of listener. We're trying to get as many people to listen to this junk as possible. Anyway, I feel like I know you guys personally. I would love to meet you someday. Your podcast brings me so much laughter. I love the chemistry, and you should do a live podcast like an Acquired Taste Girls. I would drive all the way from Youngstown, Ohio. Is Youngston or Youngstown? I think it's Youngstown. Also, please do a collab with the girls from an Acquired Taste Love your biggest fan, Aaron Ride writer. Okay, so go ahead. Why don't you elaborate on that? On which on the fact that we are gonna what we have in the works. So next week we're gonna sit down and the five of us are going to do in a quiet So we're working on a title. But it's either gonna be an Acquired Boys podcast, a Taste of Boys podcast, which I'm not doing, or an Acquired Brooklyn Taste. Well, well, why don't we This is where I think the listeners could come in handy. I really First of all, you guys are so clever that listen and you text us and you tweet us. Why don't you come up with it with a name for the joint podcast between an Acquired Taste and Brooklyn Boys? What with that called? What that would be called? Tweet us at Brooklyn Boys, WTF and that'll That'll live by the way on their channel and hours. Ye Hey David Ramirez checking in, Hey Scary and Brodie. Sorry Brodie, that just sounds sounds better like this. I've been listening to the show since two thousand six, the Big Show, back when other people were on it. Have to say, YouTube always been my favorites on the show. Brodie's fell taps have always been hilarious just because of his asshole attitude. That's scaries. Mr Michael Oppenheimer are always gold as well. Heard one episode of the Brooklyn Boys podcast. Loved it so much, binged all the episodes in two weeks? Is that possible? Had me on the floor dying. Always look forward to Wednesdays, not only because it's not my only day off from work, but it's the day that the latest episode of the Brooklyn Boys is uh coming out? Oh not so fast. We don't always come out on Wednesdays like today, We're this week. We're coming out on Thursday. Keep up with the great work. Death from David from Yonkers. Also, Keith Perry writes to us, hey boys, big fan, binge all your shows. What font did he use to make it? Sound Capital b Capital, Oh Capital by Capital s boys, can't wait for another one? Wondering what Delmonico's you went to. I see a few of them online here and one including one in Albany, and a couple of others. The main one, the original one which we talked about on the podcast, right, it was the one downtown by the Financial markets, the first, the first restaurant America. Yeah, so that's where that one was. Uh. Michael Glacier checking in there from Pennsylvania. Love the show. You guys put out a quality product each week. Oh we're product, Brodie. I haven't missed one yet. It's especially helpful hearing Brodie's advice for free dessert, since I can be a little shy and have to remember that even is not even count me in as a customer when that book comes out in the meantime. Couldn't help but notice that I Heart Radio's podcast website has a typo on it, and it's affecting even your page. I've attached screenshots, one for The Big Show and one for the Brooke and Bulls, but the error is on every podcast I've checked, including an acquired taste underneath each Hold On, Hold On, we gotta call in the grammar police for this. Sorry, I think we should do that. I'm gonna grammar police. The grammar police are here. He said that if you could look at if you look at I Heart Radio, Brody, under every podcast that's posted, they've been writing the word February, February, February reary instead of February. They're spelling it f E B R. You all are a R. Y Okay, Well, who does is? We don't put the month in the title. I know it's an inherent mistake. It seems that every podcast that I Heart Radio is dishing out for the month of February. That I'll let them know. That's embarrassing. That's embarrassing. Oh my god, look at this, and he shows me the example. It's bad enough if you forget the R, but to put xt No, they went February Rary, February like astro jets rubber in the scooby. That's disgusting. We gotta get to them on that because that's not just us, that's every that's everybody. Any time the word February is written it, so I understand all every time. All right, we'll get on that. We'll email them. Thank you so much. Okay, we have an few Agnes email coming in. Um, we'll hold off on the few Agnes because I want to segue into my my CVS update. Oh wait, this is from a lady named Agnes. Oh okay, hold on. As you can see my email from the email address, my name is Agnes. Listening to your proper use of your the past two podcasts had me very uncomfortable. Hearing my beloved Brody yell fuck you Agnes was like a stab in the heart. As you can imagine, my name is uncommon in America these days. It's rare to hear my name in media, except for in Despicable Me. So here it being be rated was distressing. May I suggest using an alternative name in the future, perhaps Hester or Prudence Before you ask, I'm in my twenties and I was not named after my grandmother. I was born in Poland, where Agnes remains a popular name to this day. That's from Agnes Linda. She's a clinical psychologist, so she hates when you scream out a few Agnes because she's in her car listening and she thinks you're talking to her. High Well, Agnes. I apologize for that, but I'm going to give you one more Agnes before this episode is over, and then I won't give you anymore. All right. The next time I needed a name to represent someone, I won't choose Agnes. Okay, not gonna choose Prudence, but Prudence. All right. This is a very long podcast next week away, by the way, just also emails shoutouts to Gary Poke Pulgarian. Uh come on, Oops, that wasn't the person and the other people all right, whatever is we'll read the others later. Oh yeah, okay, can we move on. I wanted to shout out of people I want to do birthdays. I wanted to people shout out the company with the shirt. All right on the other straight morning show. You and I have been here twenty years. Never got a chance to do this before. One of our callers called in and said, I think he said his he for his birthday. I want to be caught first caller of the day. And he said while he had was on the air as first caller of the day, which I helped to Range. I didn't really help him Range. I just wished him luck. He said, is it okay if the Brooklyn boys read the heart scopes, which we do it like six or eight every morning roughly so scary. And I did the horor scopes, which means we read each month, the twelve months, six months each. It was good. I enjoyed it twenty years to do that. So we got a lot of people that were texting about loved it. And two people were like, dude soaked turning the radio off. Should have done bye bye. All right, you know what, so shout out to Colleen, Willie or Wiley. I'm thinking it's Willie. She wrote. I love the Brooklyn boys reading the herro scopes. They should tag in more as if it was our option to do that tag in. Yeah, well, like you know, like, oh Bethany, tag me, I'll do the hard scopes for you. Um, next time, they should brooklyn it up. I'm wondering what she means by that, all right, All she means she wants more this, Hey, Terry, So I gotta say, if Elvis, let's just do it again. I already have in my mind what that'll sound like. Well, I started brooklyn it up in the beginning, but Dan it was kind of like he gave us to look like just move along, Hey, Harries, are you listening to my pay attention. Jerk off. Well, that would be and that's where I thought we should invest in a restaurant. Make a move that thing you're holding off, don't hold off about to do that? What do you stupid? I was about to do that. But we should beat hor scopes. We should beat hard scopes on the podcast either way. When you guys, when we're on the air Live six attend East Coast and you guys text in another one hashtag Brooklyn Boys or broody and scary, anything that's reference free dessert texts. You may have noticed on the Big Show in the fifty minute Morning Show, Elvis has been mentioning the Brooklyn Boys podcast a lot. That's because you are listening, have been texting in yes, so thank you. Because the more Elvis mentions our show, the more people who don't listen to us will listen to us. Well, we don't want you to do it, but if the like, if you're like, oh, that's so funny or that that rant on the Brooklyn Boys was great or scary was hilarious on the Brooklyn Boys, you could put that in or you know, you know who would be funny to have on your show. The Brooklyn boys anyway, So we read the text messages. We appreciate it. So thank you, thank you again for all the laughs, entertainment, best Colleen, Willie Wiley, Willie Wiley. Uh my favorite tweet of the week. We got a lot of them. Yeah, you know, I feel like we needed a segment just for tweets, but I don't know if we can handle it because there's so many. I'm gonna save Sam confalone. I'm gonna save your tweet for next week because it's an evergreen. We can do it next week, not a problem. Uh. I want to talk about Powell. He's uh p A w E seventy z g A. I don't want to know where that came from, but on Twitter, he yeah, he wrote my my favorite podcast at Scary Jones Favorite Cottage Cheese. So there's a picture of a television set. He's listening to our podcast. The TV set is the whole logo of ours. I guess he had like an I heeart apple. So this is a point of view picture where he's holding the cottage cheese. So you know people take those pictures where they showed the feet in the beach, he's showing his feet the TV set with our logo on it Samsung TV beautiful nice TV. Uh. And then in his hand he's got a bowl of cottage cheese. Friendship Friendship cottage cheese, which is scariest favorite and it says and David Brody favorite scallions. He covered it with scallions. I everybody wins at the Brooklyn Boys podcast. By the way, if you're listening to this in reverse order, you just missed that joke because you don't know Powell. I'm hoping I'm pronouncing it right. Thank you for taking the time to frame that picture out with the yogurt and scallions and the logo. It's awesome. We love you. Okay, I want to update on CVS for it. If you've been listening in order, you know they screwed me, charged me a hundred thirty four dollars from my z pack when I was sick. Didn't complete a sentence, Agnes. Agnes was like a call behind you couldn't finish the sentence and say, excuse me, can you pull off this? A cab on you that it's a big, big argument, big rant on episode on episode twenty six, I told you that when I went in and it's like, how come your RITS phone producer paid seventy for her Z pack? I paid a hundred thirty four and people were tweeting me saying I work at a drug store. That's crazy. I went and they said, oh no, she didn't apply your discount. She didn't use your medical benefits card for the purchase. So we probably owe you a decent amount of money. It's probably more like seventy, depending on your insurance. Just come back in with your original receipt. And I told you last week last podcast, who keeps the original receipt? I was sick, so I went back in this weekend with my medical card. I asked for a supervisor. Good and I said, I don't have the receipt, but at this charged me on for a z back. Good you you mentioned her by name. I didn't mention her by name. I'm telling you it was I said that the woman was Agnes. All right, she says, I'm terribly sorry. I said I don't have the receipt. I'm gonna make an exception for you. Thank you. Let me ring you up properly. She refunds me the hundred and thirty four dollars completely, and then says I have to rering you now the regular amount. Let me get your insurance card. I give her the insurance card. Guess how much my sepack cost with my insurance. Two dollars and thirty six cents. Fuck you at this? Yeah, fuck you? You charge me four dollars. Now she's just you gotta wait five days to get your money back, which is bullshit. But that's fine. She Alvera charged me a hundred and thirty one dollars and change because she didn't run my card. Good. Now I gotta figure out paid seventy nine. Then let me ask you this does this warrant free dessert for? Because now it's two dollars. But even if even right, like I had a commission, I had to come back in here twice. Right, So, she says, you came back in here twice. I said, came back in here once to find out if I was crazy, and twice because you said bring in the box in the label. I'm back here twice. So I'm terribly sorry. She gave me a ten dollars CVS gift car free dessert from CDs. Now you got anything else? Yeah, I do. I want to talk about to but I want to skip. I'm gonna just because, oh god, how long we've been on Long life. Is this even gonna upload? We have enough ram in the computer. I wanted to get off my chest. What happened at the Wings place. I'm gonna forego with these two things that I yeah, I just I want to make a quick mention though, Uh to the Bronx Zoo who, in honor of Valentine's Day they named a roach in my and and I think you got one too, I think we all did. Anyway, here's what they did. This is kind of cool. The Bronx Zoo has named a roach in your honor, Scary Jones. Congratulations, I'm mad at the gas guard hissing cockroach um. As a result, this effort will provide critical support to Wildlife Wildlife Conservation Society's work saving elephants, tigers, guerrillas, and other endangered wildlife around the world. We hope you enjoy. And it's hashtag name a Roach, So it's the Bronx Zoo. We love you. They're doing this for a great thing. And how is this tied into Valentine's Day? I don't understand, but they do this every year, you know, people name a star after somebody. Yeah, and we've talked about this on the Big Show, Biggest fucking scam ever. Well, that was my next question. You can't tell your girlfriend that's star, can you can be my star too? Right? So I'm not sharing it with your girls. So if I go, if I go to the Bronx Zoo today and I'm looking at the Madagascar hissing cockroach display, a know which one is. If you live in New York or nearby, come to the Bronx Zoo, it's awesome. And then this and this Mada Gascar display, which they is unbelievable, you know. So, but how do I not a sponsor? How do I know which? Certainly not everything, all the money goes to charity. But how do I know? Well, they know that the dons that right, the dons I think they call him, right, The people that work there are the experts, but the zillion of them now they know they know the one with the one eyebrows yours, so they legitimately. So my question is, so something there's one that's earmarked that's Scary Jones over there, Scary Jones trying to have free dessert. Yeah, oh yeah, just just like you listen to this, and your boyfriend got your star. That's your star. So so the star and the Star Registry named it. That doesn't exist, by the way, it's the National Star Registrate. So okay, so fifteen years ago, but now Laura's crying stars not a real thing. No, no, no, no. My buddy Jason Smaller born his wife Denise a star for Christmas, which, by the way, you should probably get on the phone. It's kind of funny. And you know, she got a certificate with the whole thing with the insignia. It's got that pressed pressed when they press it into like it's notarized or something, and it's has it shows her where to look in the sky for her star. I got my wife a cloud, So you mean that's yours, the one on the computer in the cloud. So so you mean to tell me that that star man that company. That company resells that same star every week. That was my question. Is it earmark just for her or is it taken now where nobody else can have that star? Okay, First of all, there's not enough stars in the sky for everybody that bought a star. And I don't mean stars in the universe, I mean ones that we see. Second of all, do you know what a star is? It's a uh? Is it? Like? It's the light remaining from an exploded star? Right? So what you just bought or doesn't even exist anymore? You're selling the reflection of something that died hundreds of years ago, you know that, right? Yeah? But that light is from light years away from an exploding star. How do you get your money back on that though? How do you get a refund? How do you get free dessert? And deserve free dessert? If you got a star, you're like, oh my god, it's so sweet. Hi, this is Scary Jones calling from the House of Stupid. I'd like my money back on that star that I bought. A Super Bowl Sunday. You got time, you know, let's go. I can wait till the next one. Do whatever you want to do. This could be a cliffhanger. You want you want to do it like you want to do it. I mean, hit the jingle and go and what do you want to This is a cliffhanger you It's up to you, man. I don't know. Should I tell you what happened and tell you how what I got at the end or just like the next episod. What we should we what we could do is we could do it to be continued where you could start it, and then we could just I don't want to tease that warning. It's that's not the kind of no. We don't do that. We don't play games, don't do that. We're real people. You can tell or save it. I don't know. We were told that we're a podcasts for two long an hour and a half. Now we're longer. All right, all right, let's start with let's start with it next time. I'll save the Super Bowl. I want to hear about that. Okay, but you're probably by the way Brodie's hands were shaking everyone. Okay, here's about I got it. I got sucked over on Super Bowl Sunday, all right, but by Wednesday I got an unprecedented resolution. It's a teaser. What I got I don't think i've ever gotten before. Good. The result is not something I expected. And uh, oh, will you here? Alright, but when we gave you an hour and a half in the meantime, in the meantime and people are trying to get into the studio, now they're looking at us here, Oh, the let you down the song let down. F no, no, no, no, he should be n f W. I said, no fucking way. You get Instuti too? It done? Sorry n anyway, Uh please, if you're on iTunes, you know what. Next week, I want to read some of our favorite reviews. We never do that review our podcast on iTunes. If you haven't, tell a couple of friends about us, tell them where we are. Can I see one more thing the next week, next podcast, I'll do the rant, the super Bowl rant, not the super Bowl shuffle. I have interesting stats about the podcast. I think you'll be fascinated by. I want to update you on Michael Rappaport. I'm gonna you know what, let me do Michael report update and then we'll get out of here. Hold on, hold on, and uh I had one more thing. You made me forget it the next week it was good too, all right? Okay, So Michael Rappaport, So he said something really funny on Instagram, and I sent a message. I said I made a comment. So he writes me back and he says, hey, you should check out my podcast if you get a chance. I'd love to know what you think. And he puts a link to his podcast. Whoa who WHOA. Did he at least reference the fact that we've been trying to get him on our podcast. No he did not, No he did not. No he did not. So the message is not getting him. No he didn't. But I love my girlupport. I'm not gonna no. I know we should. We should have every He needs to know that we really wanted because he was a subjective conversation for past now because I told him, all right, So so he writes, he says, check out my podcast, right, So I said, I certainly, will I listen. Actually I listened to your podcast, I said, so you should listen to my podcast. I said, our podcast, uh, the Brooklyn Boys, And I put the link into ours and he writes back, hold on, so I said. He goes, oh, I like the name. He likes the name. So I said, I said, by the way, I'm Elvis Rand's writer and one of his executive producers and a big fan of yours, and I like you. I rant every episode because I go up rants And he says, hell, yeah, I love Elvis. I'm a real fan. Loves the show. Anyway. So I went back and forth with him, talk on fantasy football, different things, and I said, unlike you not asking for another flannel shirt. I said, listen, if you ever need anything plugged. We talked about you on the show all the time. I said, my co host didn't want to have you on. I want to have on, I said, I said, we make it a bit a lot that we that he turned you down, and how much he realized he made a mistake. We'd love to have you on. Your mother's made a name is Brody, your father's name is David. It's destiny. We need to have you on. I said, so crazy, you have something to plug. We plugged your book the next time he said the plug please come on our show, and he wrote back, d E F death definitely. I think that warrants more than a death. But let's you know, now everyone's been so I tweeted, had a great conversation with at Michael Report, and now our listeners a lot of them have tweeted replying to that tweet saying, Michael, you gotta come on. We'd love to have in his court. So we're putting the full court pressure. We will court press on my report. We want him on the part the balls in your card. You know what I'm saying. How we do it, you know, boy people in Brooklyn. Boys rong. We do it that way because you know we're from telling Guy Rokolin Dah Boys Brooklyn, Brooklyn Boys Brock Brooklyn,