#129: The Porno Police

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Speaker 1: Start up, dot Up, start Up. Brooklyn Boys, start Up. Brooklyn Boys, start up, dat Up. They're making noise data dot Up. Episode one nine, The Brooklyn Boys Podcast. Hello on a Thursday, School on a Thursday. Hey, back where we used to be? Remember the Remember the days we used to do this on a Thursday on a regular basis? Barely? Oh, we used to know they're a distant memory. Yeah. Remember we used to go out to eat a ten weeks ago. I'm in week ten quarantine. How about you? What do I mean you don't know about me? We're on the same schedule. No, I was talking to the I was talking to the listeners. Oh so you're not talking to me now, that's all right. Well, it's nice to address the slices for life that that give us life every week. You actually constantly landis in the top twenty in I Heart Radio's Top one hundred podcast. Thank you so much, and thank you Joe Rogan for leaving I Heart Radio by the end of the year, because we will now move up one notch in the top one hundred. Countdown. You took the words right out of my mouth. That's where I was going. It turns out that he is going to do what not many podcasters have done, and that is take their content to exclusively one platform. You know. You know, sometimes a podcast is issued or produced or owned by some of these platforms, but most of them are cross platform to be played on. So you could get the Brooklyn even though we're an I heeart radio type podcast podcast, you can hear us across all of them. And most people want to actually do their podcasts and have it play anywhere. You get your podcasts like Deezer are you Are you honestly getting money from Deezer? No? No, no, no, I'm really not. I was making a point. We want to be everywhere the podcast listener can be. Joe Rogan is now taking the opposite approach. He's like, give me all of the money and I will only have my podcast specifically on Spotify, like the ways jay Z and Beyonce and some others decided that they only want their music on title, like screw Apple Music, screw everybody else. We want our we want title like Rhan is only on title, I believe. So that's why certain artists you can't get them on the Instagram story because there's exclusive to a service. Right. Oh, by the way, shout out to Richard Nordela thirteen on Twitter. Uh, he tweeted episode one had me crying so funny. You two are so great together. If you keep this up, you may even break the top two hundred on Deezer. So I thought i'd read that now that these are things catching on? Don't you see what my strategy is? Yeah? You want if we get we could we could be top three. Joe roe get exclusive on Spotify, the Brooklyn Boys exclusive on DS not doing it, but anyway, thank you. When will Deezer add us? That's the question. Uh yeah, we we're not quite at that level yet. Man, we gotta really learn it. We got even Joe Rogan. I don't think he's on Deezer. Congratulations to Joe Rogan. Wow, that is a sick deal. A hundred million dollars for how many years? I couldn't even Here's what I'm saying. You know, when you when you when you watch baseball and there's the guy making thirty million a year. But then when the shortstop wants to raise who's not as good, they go into um what's known as arbitration, and they will pro rate and say, well, I'm as good as that guy. So I want to get you know, eleven million whatever, And I know that's not million. I'm just saying they a lot of times will compare themselves to another player, right right, I feel like he got a hundred million. If we're a hundred it is Joe Rogan. Right. If Joe Rogan has a hundred times the audience we do, which I don't believe he does. But let's say it's a hundred times what we have, we're worth a million dollars. I would say the same. I like that. That's a great analogy, Brody. We should make that case. Serial Killers podcast has to be worth fifty grand absolutely right. I love those guys. I love those guys. You know, by the way, that is the only podcast I listened to other than ours and my my Walkers and Talkers is the Serial Killers podcast. So I was just having some fun there. I'm a little offended. I haven't really been ever formally invited in to do a Serial Killers podcast, no, and I I've written all their jingles, um and I've jumped in like a couple of times unofficially. But it wasn't like they said, hey, Brody, come in and sample cereal. Same well, they got me on one because they wanted to do an episode with heavy cream, and they know I like heavy cream and I cereals, so they called me in. I love adding heavy cream to my cereal instead of milk. Don't ask, it's weird me. Back in the day cheerios, I would steal a little bit of my parents heavy cream for the coffee. I'm like, oh my god, I love very cream. Did mention then I became a heavy cream? Yes, you did. The first quarter Scary is definitely a heavy cream. But I will say this though, Yeah, it will be nice to do a full episode of the Cereal the Ceial Killers podcast. Right now with quarantine, you're about a buttermilk right now, from what I can tell online, you're talking milk products though, don't don't go off the border milk products and my buttermilk. Yeah, you're more like a buttermilk right now. You're you're definitely not two p m. Maybe you're half and half, half and half. Okay, you're half and half. That's fine. So you know you make the the analogy I think the ultimate analogy for the Joe Rogan podcast. It's the it's the Scottie Pippen Michael Jordan. I mean seeing that the last dances on ESPN, you know they have been Michael Johns reported made all the money and then Pipping was like living in his shadows and he never renegotiated his contract until like he didn't get it until he left the Balls. So so I feel like, are we the Pippins of the podcast industry? No, we're like the We're like the horror grant. We're getting just we're lived there. But you know, Jordan wants has traded at some point. I I think, uh, no, we're not Pipping. No, we know who the Pippins are. Pippen is like, uh, what's his name? You know, the people who don't get don't get what they deserve. Salary department like a Pippins stayed at the same salary forever because they locked him into that contract. They never let him renegotiate because Michael was making all the money. I gotta be honest, I know how things work. We all do. If Jordan had gone to management and said he had gone to the police, this would never have happened. If he had gone to management and said, listen, I'm Michael and Jordan's and I'm not coming back for the ninety five season in pay Pippen or if you want one more championship, pay Pippen. You could listen, you know Michael Jordan's he could have gone to bat He could have said, you know why, no scary I'm talking about when he came back from baseball. He could have said, I'll come back to try to save the season, but give my boy Pippen a race. Yeah that's you have clout and your Michael Jordan's he could have gone to Nike and said, Nike, I want you to give my boy Pippen some some extra. I don't think Pippen. I think Pippen was on a different sneaker. Don't tweet me. But whatever whatever company he was from when he was on, he definitely made some money. Pippen is not poor. He just didn't make the kind of money that a Hall of Fame player should have made. And I feel like Batman and Robin. Batman's got to look out for Robin, you know at some point, Yeah, you have to. It's not it's you're not every man for himself because Jordan's I love Michael Jordan, the greatest maybe of all time, but he never won without Scottie Pippen that a lot of the documentaries. The documentary shows when he when pipping and foot surgery, the Bulls were not winning. He needed a number two. Well, he needed someone to take it. He could deflect some of the defense onto someone else had to take the ball. When when Jordan was double teamed, someone else had to draw the defense. True had had that triangle defense. See, I learned a lot, and I'm not you know me, I'm not a big basketball guy, but I got I really got heavily invested into first quarter. But well, I got heavily invested into the last dance. If you haven't seen it, even if you're not a sports fan, I think you'll be fascinated by this documentary. And it's not just about the sports, about the story behind it. Becomes emotionally tied to it, especially during times like these unprecedented times where there's nothing else to do. Well hold on a second. First of all, as a Knicks fan during the time of the Jordan era, it's painful to watch those years again because I watched every minute of those rivalries. I will tell you though, speaking of nothing to watch on television every morning at five thirty now I DVR South Korean Baseball the KBO and I am now um an NC Dinos fan. I have to say, I'm excited the Korean baseball and so well, they're joking territories. They're well, well, here's a teach it or something. They're jokingly referring to them as the North Carolina Dinos because ESPN shows them so much. Now that America is sort of glomming onto them as their team, I am glomming onto them as my team. I like the Colors, I like the Dinos, and they don't have a name that exists in American sports. So there's like there's a team called the Giants. There's another team called the Twins. I can't root for them because it makes me think of the teams in America with those names. And I can't root for the San Francisco Giants, the Minnesota Twins. Yeah, Dinos. Now here's the interesting thing about South Korean baseball. How about the m D Dinos. Let's start that here in marriage. Back that up to the to the computer screen, to the to the computer screen. By the way, I know we've been people have been sending that a million times over, and I was you know, half joking at first, and I tried to explain it on this podcast several several episodes back with some seriousness. But you know what, people are doing gynecological visits via zoom. Now, so how about that? Where did you see that? I was a visionary? No, no, people are doing it. Google it. It's become more and more prevalent. And the quarantine. Fine, did I know that? No, I'm being honest. You know you guys made fun of me for you and a bunch of people made fun of me about that. Get you believe Brody? This was Brody on the on the Morning Show. Uh you know chat room? Do you believe scary? He believe? He actually believes people can't on all fours and back up to the camera. So the doctor could have a guy a logical look at what's going on in there. I don't think that's but you know what that is happening now because the virtual appointment, that is not the angle they would take anyway. They would still tilt the screen down to a normal They're not putting their there. But the idea of it happening. I want someone, I want someone to tweet tweet us if you've done this I don't want to hear that. Your cousin says she did it. Call us and I call us. Tweet us if you've actually done a zoom, call us show us what you showed the doctor. No, do not do that, Scary. I'm not a doctor, but I'll have a look. Thank you, Thank you, President Scary. Listen, and I'm it's very big of you to volunteer to do that. To zoom your poon anyway, so that should be our campaign. You want to get Joe Rogan money rushtag zoom your poon. That's right, okay, So Koree back to South Korean baseball. It's quait a second. Did you just say that we're having to talk about vagina and you you stop the conference Asian be hey, back to South Korean baseball. I'm taking the constrate sentence. I'm taking. I'm taking's right, I'm taking the conversation from the whole too soul now talking about Korean baseball. They none of the teams are named after the region or the cities they play in. They are all named after the team, after the company that owns them or sponsors them. So, in other words, if this was America here, right, So the team would be instead of like calling them the New York Mets, they might be the City Field Mets or the the Amazon Giants. Right, they do not have city or or regional tags understood. So there's actually a team called I think it's the key of Rockets, um, and so Kia sponsors them. In fact, in the Key of Ballpark, there's a Keya parked out in the outfield behind the wall. And if you hit the Keya on a on a fly ball home run right uh. And obviously because there's an inside the pot home run before you say, if you hit the ball on a fly right, um, you win the car. So a guy won it last week who actually is an American baseball player who's playing there? There are there are a decent amount of an American baseball player won the Japanese car in Korea, Korea. You think you think a Kia is a Japanese car, I don't know what. I don't know where it's from. Well, oh, Kia is American at a shadow, No, I don't know where Kia has made. Um. I want you to think about it for a second, Kia. I want you to think about the fact that I'm talking about Korean basis is it is it a Korean car talking about Korean baseball and how Korean companies owned the teams, and the name of the team is the Kia Rockets. I did not know that Kia was a Korean made car. I thought it was Japanese. And that's not racist. That's because most foreign cars come for Japan or Germany. Okay, okay, but why but why didn't you think that the KEYA was a German car? Then? Well, because you made you made me think twice because you said what you think a key So I'm like, all right, so it's German or it's American. I don't know American, German, Japanese. Those are the three types of cars. I thought it was a foreign build. I thought it was japan you know Italy. Mate. By the way, it's the key of Tigers. I know people screaming at their podcast, but the Kia Tigers, and I can't root for them because it's the Tigers. I'm not a Detroit Tigers fan. I'm not rooting for the Tigers. But there are a decent amount of American players who failed, most of them and they're playing there and doing very well. There's Latin American ball players there, so it's not all Korean. However, the announcers are American, right. The ESPN announcers are are doing the play by play for us as the game's going on. I believe they probably watched the game already and then they're doing it. But because it's a lot of times, they skip ahead and they'll go for time's sake. By the way, this is what I don't get when you watch a rebroadcast of a Mets game, for instance, on the Mets channel here in New York, s and Y. On the replay, they'll try to make the game like an exactly two hour game and just for the time that the time constraints, right, So they'll say, for time constraints, we're gonna move ahead in the action. So if they know because it's a replay or it's a delayed game that the third and fourth and fifth inning with death, they'll just skip over them. Right. So I'm watching the Korean baseball game and they go for time purposes, we're gonna zip ahead to the action and continue the action. Whatever they said, could you pause a second? What the fuck is going on in your house with your dogs? Somebody's coming to the front door, or is outside my house and the dogs are barking at them. That's my guess. Someone went by on a bicycle, ringing the bell. No, they they're not coming by. No, the Jehovahs don't. It's called of it. They don't even come by. J Covid the covidness with their masks right with the mass. Yeah, they're not. Continue I'm sorry, I'm distracted by Mootsie. Okay, it's Mutsie, like mus Why would you say Mootsie. We don't say Mootsie. Stinks. My dad's name is Muzzarella. That that's why we call him Utsie. So anyway, okay or mutts anyway. So the players names on their uniforms are in Korean, so if the if their name isn't on the screen, like, you can't learn the players and and it's hard to follow. It's hard to follow the players names to go, oh, I like that guy. Plus they all have initials like their faces. Okay, yes they do, but again it's a it's it's harder. I'm gonna I'm gonna try to excuse me. I'm sorry, what I'm gonna try to be politically correct here? Hello, what's that there, David Brodie, it's hard to make your mic extra lad for this next statement. It's okay, hold on, It's harder for me as a Caucasian to easily identify them individually unless they're standing next to each other. So like when they all because they have batting helmets on and their hair is all the same, it's all the same length hair. So and they don't have their names on the back, it would probably be the same. Uh here, but there's no facial hair like that. They're not. They all have the same groomyd you are at okay scared, you're being ridiculous. I think you need to look up the word racist. There's no animosity or hatred towards anybody in my life. Then why can't we learn the faces? You can? It just takes longer. I can't let me ask you a question. Can you offer just by looking at a group of Asian Asian people? Right? Can you tell always the difference between a Korean Vietnamese person, a Chinese japane? Okay, I can usually pick out a Filipino I know of Filipinos. Well, that's that's different, Okay, it's different. They're all different. Everybody's different, right, But if you are Korean, you probably have a better chance of identifying other Asian countries, right, I can usually spot Japanese people. It has to do with with this. From what I've read, because I did look it up, there's a slight difference in the shape of faces of Koreans, I believe tend to be a little rounder so um and Japanese. Clearly, I can't tell the difference between a Korean car and a Japanese car. Well, clearly because you're a racist, because I thought Kia was a Japanese brand. Okay, that's why I'm not gonna kill you anyway. I'm enjoying it was my point. I'm that desperate for sports, and I'm not gonna watch golf and I can't watch I can't watch all this what a racing is not for me. It was when I was a Korean baseball South Korean baseball is you know what? It was a godsend to watch base ball. Now, the quality of baseball, I want to say, experts will tell you it's on It's like upper minor league level. The best of the best make it to the majors here in America, but the average player is like, uh three years double a ball. If you know what about baseball, Triple A is right before the majors and then the Major's. So it's it's good enough. But I am loving me some Dinos. So I have the game to watch tonight. I taped it this morning. That's what I was saying ESPN NC Dinos maybe my team. I was looking for a team with orange and blue. My favorite rap group of the nineties, Big Time would love. Who didn't love uh mc raptor he was the best? Okay, So, um, I have a bunch of stuff. Okay, so here's a couple of things I want to run by you. I want to make sure I didn't talk about them yet. I had a uh run in with Enterprise run a car about an hour before we started recording. Um, I had a problem with Instagram horn. I want to talk. I'm Instagram. I know you don't I know the sports moment. I want your opinion on this, and you guys can tweet us if you guys have a favorite sports team or you're or you're fond of the one that plays in your city. I want you to tell me how you feel about this and how a mistake like this gets made. Okay, scary, you're a moderate sports fan. I am a crazy sports fan. So I want your opinion as a moderate sports fan, okay, and as a as a as a New Yorker. So Governor Cuomo our governor in New York, even though I live in New Jersey. As New York's governor, that's where we work. He has a wear a Mask campaign. He's encouraging people to wear masks. It's not a law here, but he's encouraging people to wear masks as I believe. I believe we should whenever we can. And so he put up. He They created a contest a couple of weeks ago to put together. It was either thirty or sixty second commercial that the winner would be promoted and pick and be the official commercial for the wear a Mask campaign. Okay, So eight hundred and fifty submissions, they narrowed it down to five, and they showed the five yesterday on on his press conference. You don't need good teeth to win this competition. By the way, are you about to plug a dentist product? No, it's just an observation that everything from everything from your eyes down, you don't even need a good nose Okay, it's not about what I'm saying is you can have a fund up lower half of your face. It's not It's not about the actors in the video. It's about directing and writing and producing. It's about the commercial. It isn't about like each You're not getting a TikTok video to be a commerce what's you in the video? These These are slickly produced commercials of people wearing masks around New York. So one of them was quotes of Governor Cuomo and people in the street wearing masks, firefighters, nurses, average people on the street walking out of subways. There were people talking about I wear a mask because of this person. This is a great campaign, right, Well, it's not a campaign yet. There's five finalists. They haven't picked one yet. No. I like where they're going with. One of my favorites actually was my favorite until ten seconds left in the commercial. And by the way, I have a real problem with with the New York City government every time they create a website, rather than doing like NYC dot gov slash covid, they do like NYC dot gov slash covid dash nineteen slash masks slash mask Challenge you know, like they you can't remember it right. You gotta keep it simple. They don't keep it simple. And you're watching it on television. You can't click on it, so you have to pause it and write it down. It's just it's a nightmare. The one for them to vote for the masks instead of just going to NYC gov vote, it's nyc gov dot slash, covid dash ninety slash vote slash commercial. It's ridiculous. It's something like that. So this one commercial, I loved it. Great voice over, powerful images. It was moving me to tears. And there's a guy wearing a Mets hat. It's a guy wearing a Yankees hat. This this this police officers. It's just it was awesome. And then they show a guy in the street, a man in his I want to say, early sixties scary, and he's wearing a purple l a Lakers hat. The fund is that, the fund is that? Are you telling me a New York it's a New York campaign, but it's by the it's it's it's to win over New Yorkers. New Yorkers have to vote for which one they like the best. And you put a guy wearing a Laker's hat. Look, I know this. I know there's Lakers fans. I know there's Lakers fans of New York. I get it. Kobe Bryant, I get it, Magic John, I get it. Right. But you're doing a commercial about New Yorkers, right if he wore any New York team, because it would be polarizing. They put methods because they all the Yankee fans. If he were a Mets hat, Yankee fans would be like, funk this guy. The point is, well, in l a Lakers, I mean, this guy doesn't have a chance. And I looked up the company that made the video. They're not a New York based company, right, So again it's why would they do that? I don't know? So I went on, I went voted for someone else. Of course, I tweeted at them and let them know that they suck for putting a person in a Lakers at in the video. And guess what out of the five commercials, it's fifth, of course it is. And it's an amazing commercial. Those results. I could have told you what imagine Imagine you live in Wisconsin, right and they're doing this huge campaign and and they're showing, uh, the Milwaukee Brewers and the Milwaukee Bucks and and all of a sudden that are nowhere someone's wearing a Dallas Cowboy hat and a Packers fan. You're I'm not voting for that commercial. Wherever you are in America, you are not gonna want a commercial to represent your city with a guy. Hey, dude, remove the hat n on the The commercial is so good that it made the top five, but somebody could have edited out though it's a second. It's a second in the video of this guy. We're in a Lakers hat. What are you doing? What? It's like? It's like if we went to I Heart jingle Ball and we wore Spotify hats, do you know what's trouble? We would get in for doing that, would demand to try to wear Yeah, Joe Rogan would. So I am dumbfounded that that that. So you agree with me like that, oh a thousand percent? Oh no, there's just but that's dumb. But that was an oversight on the people who produced the videos part, well, the person who filmed it. Why are you filming that guy? The director that someone there's had to be so real people that make up the the editing, the producing, the post production, and the filming of a clip, even if it's a second long, and it got by all of them. Not one of those people in that line thought to be like, um, yeah, we can't use this guy. He's gonna lose I don't understand. Tell him, reshoot him, tell him to take the hattle now, you can't re shoot him. Probably they probably filmed it a week and a half ago. They probably had a crew, and they hired local people. But somebody filmed this guy. This this company. This company is not in New York right, It's I think it's a West coast now. I know, a lot of people might be like, yeah, what's the big deal. They're not listening. They're not from New York. No, people like listening to this right now might not think that. They might think we're making a mountain out of a mole hill, which is what we do regularly on this podcast. Okay, let's say you were doing a commercial for the Olympics, right, You're filming all these athletes all around the country. You're filming skiers and gymnasts, and they were in the heartland. They're at you know, they're they're at their Disney World and this amazing video and all of a sudden, some guys wearing a Yugoslavian hat like that? Why would that be in the commercial? Nothing? But by the way, nothing against Yugoslavia. And I understand that. I understand Yugoslavia and the whole status of the country. I'm just saying, why would you were of all the countries I mentioned, Let's just say, check, someone's wearing an NC dino hat, right, that's not the fuck. That's not competition commercial for the United States. You're wearing an NC dino'st right. Well, you know what you're about to buy. Brody, I may have to I may have to do that. We got a lot coming up. We'll be right. Backs had a conversation without Buddy Froggy. By the way, I just want to I just want to be clear. I am aware that Yugoslavia is no longer a country. I don't know why. You know why, I'll tell you. I'll tell you why. I the reason I brought Yugoslavia out just now of all that, because I was gonna make a Yugoslavia reference when you were talking about the Kia, Because right, Yugoslavia made a car called that you go right, which is a cute name like you go and it was so but I was gonna make a joke like where do you think the Yugos from? But I knew most of our audience wouldn't get the reference, so I would have been an eighties reference, right. Yugoslavia ended, I think in ninety two. I think, so I understand like calling out and as suse you right right, another eighties car, right, So that's what That's what Yugoslavia was in my head because I was going from you don't have to justify it, Brody, It's okay because because there are people from that region of the world that I'll go, how could you mention Yugoslavia. It's not a country. I get it, okay, Sorry, alright, alright, well, um, I was talking to Froggy about the good old days. He was telling me when and when we say the good old days, we mean oh before March fift we He's like, hey, remember last year we celebrated my wife Lee his birthday. We were all we were that club that we were in and we were packed wall to wall and we're pushing people to get through and it was crazy as madness, and people were drunk and it was hot and I was sweaty. Yeah, that could never happen again. And I thought it about it, and I'm like, you know, you're right, there's so many things that have changed even in the past two months that will never see you again. Well, I don't think that's correct. I don't think you can say never happen again, because well, first of all, you'll see it because there are people I don't want to get. I'm not gonna get. I'm gonna stay calm here. There are parts, No, there are parts of our country and groups of people in parts of our country that are going to do that. They're okay, they're gonna jam clubs. I don't think they'll pack them in. I don't think I think people have learned. Oh please, are you you watched the news? Do you see people in it? But yeah, but no, But okay, if you play that. I'm talking about the atmosphere, Brodie. Is that I'm talking about specifically, was a late night club where people are drunk and sweating and you had to literally squeeze by people. Know, if everybody is going to be in that mindset to ever be in a place like that again, I'm gonna say any place that can grant people who right now or even less a month from now or six months from now. I still don't think this is a serious thing. I still don't want to wear a mask. Still think that the government of tyrants whatever. I'm not judging anyone at this particular moment in my life. I'm just doing a podcast. What I'm saying is there are people who think they're young and healthy, that old people should just stay inside and as long as they you know, everything's clean, they'll be fine. I'm not saying that's right, clearly, I'm saying it's wrong. But you will pack clubs now? Will you and I do that? Will you do it? I think personally there has to be a real vaccine to prevent because other than that, we're gonna be wearing masks and and social distancing. Speak for yourself. I'm ready to pull this mask off. Are you wearing a mask? Are you doing a podcast in a mask? I'm just saying overall, um, I need to come to a point in my world where, um, I'm starting to go you know, I'm if I'm a pendulum. Uh and I was swinging one way, I'm kind of in the middle. Now I'm starting to cross over because it's now been ten weeks and here we are when is this may? Where are we tape? And is and personally, um, I will be respectful, I will be reckless. I will. I will. You know, as long as there's laws in place, You want me to go into a store wear a mask, no problem. But out in the open, walking along, riding along, driving along, Not that I ride a bike along, but if I did along, I would I would walking with my friends who were also in the same comfort level as I am. I would not. I will not be wearing a mask out in the open again. Out in the open? Yeah, okay? And you could, you could, you could hold on? Are you gonna have a mask? His eyeballs are popping out of his goggles? Right? I don't want to make this the mask podcast, which just want are you gonna wear? Are gonna have a mask in your pocket in case you need it? Yes? Oh yeah, yeah, Well that that's a necessity. Now you know that Adam Sandler had that song like wallet, keys phone, it's gonna be wild keys phone mask. You know, every guy has three necessities and he does the check the pocket, check the top pocket. He's phone three, three pockets, right, pocket, phone, keys, whatever it is. I think the fourth pocket will be masked and that that that will always be there, just out of respect for people that in situations that you may be in where you need one, but you're saying it like respect, like oh, I'm gonna say I'm gonna hold the door open for a woman. This is beyond holding the door open for a woman kind of respect. This is not killing someone. And and you and your friends, do you know if they're if they're they're they're healthy, Well, can you verify can you verify that your fourth You can't. I have friends that have had it, uh, and friends that have had the has the positive for the antibodies. So let me ask you a question. But either so, either way, and again, I know there's a lot of a lot of like question marks on around that. But honestly, if I'm being completely honest right now where we are, I am really starting to you know, just uh, I'm starting to take a couple of risks. Okay, all right, So taking risks. So if I'm gonna okay, if I'm gonna barbecue, I'm gonna give you examples. I'm gonna barbecue with my friends and we're all hanging out, we're all like kind of away from a shother. Listen, I didn't I socially distanced before this thing started, so I always no, people don't sit on top of I'm I'm gonna if I'm out, if I'm out with with like socially distanced, maybe a little bit of extra distance, then I normally would be, you know, because it's in my head. Gotta bettle. I would be okay in a room without a mask outside and at a barbecue out in the park. But what about what about down? What about walking on the street with your buddies or in a car with three other people friends of yours out in the street. Okay, I'm asking, no problem, no problem about in a car? Is it a convertible, No problem, no problem. So if somebody turns to you and speaks and spits on you, the convertible is gonna help you. So I'm gonna ask you this, and then we're gonna move on. We're not gonna talk about masks after this. I don't know. Just yeah, hold on, crap, people are cursing me out. No no, no, hold on, my same problem with my computer. Hold on to make sure that that that plug get worked. Yeah, okay, so I'm gonna ask you two questions. What the hell is that the the plug fell out on my laptop and it gave me the ding that that the battery was done? Okay, I'm gonna ask you two questions and then we're gonna move on. I promise, and you guys can answer these questions to yourself. Actually was just to ask you to the audience and will move on. I want, I want to I want to ask you. I'm gonna point it to you if if you were to get sick, God forbid, God forbid, how do you think Elvis would react? You run the show every day, you run the board. There is no show unless you go to work and are healthy. Yes. So are you valuing your freedom of mask at a barbecue or in a convertible right over your job responsibility? No? And that's why I will think twice about it. That's why. That's what these are the things that make me think, is that people around me in my life will make me think. That's all I'm saying so that it will make me think twice about any decision I make, and that includes my girlfriend, my parents. Yeah, you know, I know you're gonna go through the parent things, my family at work. Of course, So would you run the risk if your girlfriend or mother said, oh, you're not wearing your mask when you go on the street, I don't want to see you. Your mother could die at her age. Your girlfriend, you know, is a little bit more susceptible than others. Right, right, you're gonna take that risk. I'm just saying, I just think that, Oh, I think that being out in the fresh air is a little bit is a little bit better. I'm not talking about being enclosed. I'm not talking about walking down the street. I'm not talking about that at all. I'm just talking about being in a group with your boys and walking down the street with boys who you don't know their history. You don't. Yeah, because it's a tough one that I haven't had. I haven't crushed that bridge yet. That's all. That's all just playing devil's advocate. Um. Yeah, not listen, and again, not being reckless. I'm not trying to change the world. Not not flying flags, not protesting. That's not me, that's not who I am. Listen, everyone's entitle It's certainly not a political thing for me. For me, it's right and listen, you guys make your own decisions. Listening to the podcast. I'm just talking about Scary and I'm just making him think about it because there's no Elvistor and Morning Show if Scary gets sick. So that's not true, Elvis continues, Really know who's gonna go in? No one's who. You run the board, you run the physical buttons. There's no one else can do that, nobody. So that's all I gotta call Joe Rogan's eight. You gotta get a raise? All right? Do you want to hear about the moron website I called? Or the Instagram porn problem or the guy in Target I know I won't like just by looking at them. Oh, what's the porn problem? Okay, I'll tell you the porn problem. Now you're gonna give me grief for starting this porn problem. I already know that. That's fine. So I was on Instagram and somebody I got like a spam Uh you know you got a spam d M all the time? Right? Hey, how are you check you out? Wait? Okay, so before I block someone, I always check their profile because I'm afraid it maybe a listener and they just were right, and they worded it wrong and they're like, check out this picture and then it's a listener. I don't want to block them or report them, so I clicked on a profile. Now Instagram doesn't allow nudity, correct, Nope, okay, scary. It was hundreds and hundreds of posts, hundreds for like months and months and months and months of porn videos on Instagram. Yes, and not not high quality. I mean, like you know, like just like low definition but like some sick awful ship not even like they were virtual gynecological zoom visits. Yeah. So I was like, shut down. I don't know so well, okay, So I said, you know what, I could just look the other way on this one, or you know what, I have kids, other people have kids. This is a bit much for Instagram. So I hit the report button and it said, you know, for spam or inappropriate. I hit inappropriate and said, what is it inappropriate? I said it's I basically reported it for being porn. And I feel good about it because look, if it's a girl with a would a side boob whatever man or whatever, the you know, you push the envelope a little bit. This was hardcore stuff. Hardcore, So this is what I kept back, things were going into things I didn't know they should be going into. Okay, really it was bad. It was like foreign countries. There was some animals involved in one. It was just bad. Okay. So this is the response back. It says you anonymously reported Okay, it was horny something I don't want in case they pop up again, so to speak, it was you anonymously reported horny something something videos. You think the name alone would have been been a red flag to Instagram. You reported them for nudity or sexual activity. It's said. Now here's the message from Instagram. We can't prioritize all reports right now. We have fewer people available to review reports because of the coronavirus COVID nineteen pandemic, so we're all only able to review content with the most potential for harm. If you don't want to see horny something something videos on Instagram, you could unfollow, mute, or block them to hide their posts and comments from your feet allow it. Reports like yours are an important part of making Instagram a safe and welcoming place for everyone. Well, clearly not important enough, so it didn't get removed. So a couple of days later, this let me investigate. I'll send it to you. If it's still up, I haven't checked out, tell me right now. I want to know. I want to go there right now. No, because I don't want. I don't want what he tweeting it them tell him I'm the guy reported, I'll shut the mike off. No, no, I'll tell you later. I'll text you. I'll text you right, I'll text you right now. Okay. So then I a couple of days not I get another one and it's blatant porn again blatant, and it's um, it's somebody somebody, somebody's name, the letter X and the number sixty nine. Again again blatant, So I reported. I get the same message. And then I'm like, two weeks later, I get this message, uh black x blah blah blah, sixty nine videos will remove from Instagram. Thank you for letting us know how about their video? It looks like it, um reports and again, reports like yours an important part of making. So eventually they got around like three weeks later or something to getting rid of. But as far as the other one goes, let me see if it's still up, hold on, I'm gonna search for it, right now I love this, do you it was bad? I think it's hysterical horny. I just I don't take it too seriously. It's just it's just porn. Okay. If you searched horny, um, there are a lot of options. Okay, okay, So maybe they can't keep up with it. Maybe maybe porn videos on Instagram is like, that's like the COVID. It's just you don't know where they're gonna pop up and where it is. It's just everywhere. M M. Okay, hold on, already doing his research while the show is on. I'll get back to you in a minute. Okay, in a minute. I may need a few minutes. Here. It looks like the account with three underscores is gone, but but now there's the same No, now they dropped the s so horny blank blank something something videos is now the same exact address with just video and there are no videos yet. Okay, okay, wait a minute. What are you seeing adult describing for the audience? Nope? Hold on, Nope, that doesn't that's not what it should be. Hold On, I'm not seeing anything is horror. Hold on, let me see if this is on Instagram. Yes, yes it is. Hold one can get some sound here. You know, that's the Okay, that's Instagram, that's somebody's daughter. You know, that's maybe that our parents are dead. I'm sure they are once they see this. Oh okay, So so wait, wait, what's the what is the purpose of this segment. I'm trying. I'm trying to like bring it all together. Okay, So you want to try to wrap your lips around it, Okay. So my point was the point was I tried to do the right thing and I got caught this COVID because you're trying to you're trying to be the the porno police. Usually you're the grammar police, but now you're being the porno police. By the way, I've got nothing against porn, so to speak. I'm just saying, well, then, why then did you report it? They spammed me and I didn't. What I saw should not be on Instagram, That's all I'm saying. And I wanted to see what I also wanted to see what the response would be for this podcast. I'm like, oh, let's see what they say. And so the coronavirus is affecting people in ways we had no idea because you can put porn up on Instagram. Now that's what I'm saying. Okay, so so all right, so well apparently you can. Yeah, so you want to hear about the website. I had a ridiculous problem with Yeah, I do, but where you do that. I just want to dress something that's going on here and this is happening. Uh, And we get tweets about this to the big show, And actually we saw I saw I'm sorry, I saw a couple of tweets, not the big show to my account. I saw a text. I saw a couple of texts go by the Was it about you sing your day? Because there was a text message about it this morning. No. Now, this is about the fact that with my other podcast, Speaking Volumes podcast, I'm not wait, we did it very we We did our very first audio and video podcast. There's audio versions everywhere and then there's a video version which I put on it all over online. And we interviewed this guy called a cigarette whisper again not a client that we just we wanted to see if he could make one of our listeners stop smoking. So we zoomed in one of our listeners and we zoomed in this guy and there was a four way zoom going on, and I got a lot of positive feedback on that episode of that podcast, So people started asking, hey, why don't you do of Brooklyn Boys where you put a video version of that out, and I'm all, I wanted to let everyone know all the slices. I am for it. I cannot wait to do that. I'm called a bullshitly calling bullshit. That's not true. Why are you calling bullshit? I'll get it right now. No, I'm calling bullshit on because if they're really slices, they would have heard last week's episode where I went off at twenty minutes how I'm not doing it, so they would have tweeted me and said, hey, Brody, why I want you do it? Or they would they wouldn't be tweeting you as if it was a new idea so into the big show. Why can't we? Why so so, why don't you address it right here on the podcast? You addressed it last week? I don't want to do it. I'm in radio for a reason. I want to be comfortable and casual. I'm sitting in my basement with a washer and dryer behind me. I have no I haven't had a hand had changing life changing for hoo. Not for me. I don't know. I'm just saying I think it brings the podcast to the next level. If we could be on video. That's you know, Joe Rogan, was he doing zoom podcasts? Hey listen, Mike Francessa did it. This big sports guy from New York. He was on radio for years and then he brought his show to TV and he's he's a one man band. And people like staring at that guy on TV scrolling through his phone. But nobody wants to stare at you, the one of us. I'm not doing it. I didn't listen. You know what. You know what you also said you wouldn't do Brodie, I wouldn't work, said you wouldn't do your podcast from home. And let's look where we are right now and base and you're fucking underwear watching porn videos on Instagram. That sounds much worse than it is. That's not what that that's how it's going on. That's what you're doing. Well, I can tell you right now vowed you vowed on this podcast if you because I realized never ever do a podcast at home. And look where we are, okay, I because I at the time I said it. Did I know a pandemic was coming where we would be quarantined into our houses. Once we get back into the studio, we're doing podcasts from the studio. We're gonna do it in our old studio with the gold Maybe. Maybe I think you'll be in a club before we're back at work. We can't go back to work. We can't wear masks. That's the problem, all right. Although when I watched the news, the cable news guys must have the microphone behind the mask. They must have it because they sound perfect with the mask on. Yeah, some of them do it for optics, though the reporters are wearing masks on TV for optics' want to hear it. They're doing it so they don't spit on the reporter. They're doing it because they're okay, the cameraman is several feet away. That's what I meant. A reporter standing by themselves and out in the open does not need to wear a fucking mank you. I'm sorry. They're doing it because it's dramatic they're doing they're doing it. They're doing nobody. How can you get ratings? Either you're already watching them or you're not. You don't sit home and somebody calls you and says, hey, put on the news because Mike's wearing a mask and your ratings go up. You know how ratings work. Why would you even say that they're doing it for ratings. They're doing They're doing it for whatever reason, to scare people. I don't know what they're doing. Can we end this podcast? I want to be on the podcast for you. I don't You're ridiculous. Am I spitting to the microphone? You're gonna catch it? No, they're not doing They're not wearing masks to scare people. What I just I don't know, dude. I'm just saying wearing a mask because it's socially responsible to do that. Their role models. They're going on television and telling people that the CDC recommends a video. I saw a video. Ye saw a video of a reporter wearing a mask for an interview, and then as soon as it ended, the camera was still rolling and this reporter took their mask off and walked out and hung out with their friends. There's video tape of this female reporter doing this. It's there, it's out there, and if you don't do it for optics, then why are they doing it? It's you're doing it for the cameras when the cameras are on and the cameras are off, mask off. It's anecdotal evidence. This was who even is it a real reporter? Is it? Saw the video? It's a reporter from what network? CNN? Okay, so you saw a White House correspondent, the woman who goes to the press V briefings in the White House. She was wearing a fucking mask for the entire press briefing, and the cameras, the main camera all they all went off, but the one camera in the back watched her get up, take the mask off, and walk out the room with the mask in her hands. Okay, it's there. It's out there on Twitter. I'm not making it up. Okay. So question is, first of all, to be in that room, you have to wear a mask, you asked. Okay, So when she walked out, you're asking you your question was still in the room. The camera picked her up. It's on video, Okay. So one reporter took her mask off too soon. Does not mean that every reporter on the news is only wearing it because it's it's themselves. In this world, people letch onto one example of something and then say it's everybody. It's everybody. It's like moving on. When you call me your friend Dave knew something, you're like, oh, my friend Dave knows something about what's going on in the hospitals. But he does things. He works in the medical industry. Right, So that the here, no there, that's a whole other podcast. Everyone's got a friend everyone. I'm gonna zoom in on that podcast. You know. I'm gonna have him as a zoom guest on my other podcast. You do that, you do that? You know, why don't you do Why don't you do a conspiracy theory podcast? That would be great? Not it's not conspiracy theories. But I'll continue, all right, all right, continue back to where you were you were talking you, I'm gonna choke all right, back to your Brodie, back to you in the studio. But you and I can never hang out because I make you laugh and you'd cough and choke on people. Oh my god. Right by the way, a woman called our show Monday. Maybe our name was Rita Yea, and she told the story. I think she said something about she told the story and she said something like, um uh ironically. My last day was a holiday and so it was closed like that. It was She said it was ironic, and it wasn't. It was coincidence. But I was saw him on my couch at home. I'm going, damn it, it's coincidence. And then somebody texted in a tell reader that wasn't ironic, it was coincidence hashtag Slice for Life. That yeah, how great is that? Oh my god? I love I love our audience. Also, I want to give a shout out to Freddy Gordon. I believe Freddie's the guy who's doing some really hilarious videos in the winter of snow. Anyway, he said at David Brody deserves a sponsorship for sports because of him. I ordered some Metal Sports best podcast ever Slice for Life, and he took a screenshot on Amazon. He bought Metal Sports based on you know what. You should have waited to order it until we got a sports sponsorship. That's right, that's right. Also, we do a couple of quick emails because I have some things. Yeah, because I want to just come to talk Peter Malar real quick before we do the evening of all right, So you guys, if you I know you listen in order you know about Peter Miller. Right. So back in November and December, we were really hocking on getting the Peter Milar sponsorship because we were goofed on the commercial and and so you guys, we goofed on the first commercial that mentioned Peter Mlr Sixteen times. Then we goofed on the second one about um Egyptian goat cotton from the mountains of whatever, and uh, it became a running bit about Peter Malar. And we wanted to be a sponsor, and we tried, like hell, I called every account executive nationally locally, couldn't get them. So this week we got a M. Was it a d M or a tweet? Oh, it was a d M to me and it was a picture of Peter Peter Malaar logo that they saw on a store and they wrote, Oh I thought of you when I saw this, Uh, Peter Millar. I left. So I was like, oh my god, people are still thinking about Peter Malar when it comes to our show. Sure, So somebody heard a Peter Malar commercial on Z one hundred in New York, the station that we're on, the station we're on. Peter Miller is now advertising and you get a discount. You get a discount you mentioned if you put in keep code Z one D. How the hell did Peter Millar commercial get past us? They took the sponsorship, They went right around the air. It was Christina Balsar. She sent me a d M of Peter Malar store opening in in Raleigh, North Carolina. That means take your base for the n C Dino does it? That's okay? All right? The talk that changes like it's mail. Take. I wasn't finished with my story. You've got mail? You would continue as the music place? So real? Question said, yeah, so real quick. So while I was emailing our sales team and ask him how the hell we got Peeter Milare on our radio station and not on our podcast, I reminded them of our conversations from November and December, and I sent Christina's screenshot and said, look, people are still come talking about us and Peter Malare. They should be advertising. So the saga continues. We will get them. They will be hours one day. Well, we're working on it. Well, you can always email us at the Brooklyn Boys podcast at gmail dot com. And Terry wrote hey regarding steak dinner Brodie's correct. Why would someone want to have their own steak dinner delivered instead of having it in the restaurant once it's safe to return. Yes, I wanted to give Brody a zoom steak dinner and delivered to his house. Well, the quality wouldn't be the same as far as the temperature of the food coming directly from the kitchen and also the presentation of the food. Scary, stop being a dick and trying to suck your own and do what is by Brody. Plus you would most likely name drop again for the takeout order and get the meal for free. Thank you, Slice for life. Well, Terry, hey, let me just tag onto that because speaking of sing your own d you were talking this morning about how you have to trick yourself into swallowing because you can't swallow. And then I thought, well then you wouldn't have been very good at S and your own d And people texted in it thought the same thing. They're all texted in, But I thought Scary was trying to do it. Well. They were asking you to talk to this, talk to to me about this because they found it fascinating. But you said, I put my I put my uh A leave and my um advil in putting an apple sauce to swallow it because I can't. I have a gag reflex. I don't want I just don't want a random, bitter tasting pill in my mouth. And even if it's a tablet, a capsule, you name it, it's sitting there on my tongue. It won't go down, it won't swallow. I'm like, come on, come on, come on, come on, we'll go. We'll go to the back of my My esophagus knows it's not food, so I have to trick it by like adding eminem's into my mouth at the same time, or things like putting an apple sauce. So then so people were comparing that to what they do to trick their dog into taking So when you were a kid trying to ask your own day, did you put putting on it? You're an asshole? Hey, Megan cash Or wrote, all right, scary and brody, alright, alright, I left. I left quite often while listening to your podcast. But scary when you were talking about them creating problems slash solutions for infomercials like the lady fumbling with the muffin pan, I was dead The image you created for us was spot on. With everything going on, I haven't left that hearted weeks. Y'all are the best hashtag. Get the jingle ready, sending Florida sunsh on your way. That's right. We were talking about infomery shoals and how preposterous they are because they have to set up a problem so the resolution could always be by this product, and the the problems that they set up are physically visually and just just insane and this like like dumb, like, oh my god, that's your into flames when you put it in the oven? Right? Yeah, oh well you need this, you know watermelon glove? Does your watermelon explode when you put it on the kitchen counter? Right? Right? Have you ever had this problem? And it's always something that you're like, No, I haven't because I'm not a a schmuck like the person on teth in this commercial. Have you ever put your child? Have you ever put your child in the oven for too long and burnt them? Well, now we've got a child proof oven. Yeah, or they show My favorite is when they do they showed the dens in the car like they showed like a bunch of ship falling from a garage. The shelf in the garage is ever this happened to you? And all of a sudden like fucking scratches And it's a commercial for this polish that if you magically put this polish over your car is a coating over the hood. It won't you know, things will just slide right off and what you you want have to worry about the dents? There is no dent right like? Please, first of all, when is the shelf gonna randomly just collapse on the car? Okay? Can I can I make a confession here? Did that happen to you? Okay? So? Um, when I with my garage, I've got racks in front, racks on racks on racks on racks, so I've got plastic home depot racks in front of where I park. So I pull up to the rack, so they're like the back wall of my garages storage racks. And I want I want to I want to say it was I don't know, ten twelve years ago, and I had my car, one of my Dodge chargers for maybe a month, and I tapped I tapped the shelf when I pulled in, tapped it a little bit. I tapped that rack and on the top of the shelf, I had put a Direct TV satellite dish that uh, that was an extra one. I don't know why it was there, it doesn't really matter. And it fell onto the hood of my car and dent at the top of the fender. Now, had I had this lotion on my car, I'm sure it would have been fine. Just bought this ceilant, Yeah, but I did. That did happen to me? I did drop couple of things here. I want to hear a good, good customer service, free dessert from Kevin Schuller. M Well, my boyfriend. Actually I don't know who this is from, but Kevin Schuller's on the head of My boyfriend used door dash to order dinner from Dinosaur Barbecue here in Syracuse, paid when I picked it up, and enjoyed my meal without any second thoughts. We were talking about that dinner two days later and realized we both paid. Both of them paid dope. I called the store a couple of times and didn't get a response back. Finally, a week later, the manager called, apologizing profusely, gave me a refund on my credit card, and offered to send me a twenty five gift card for the delay. In response, I happily accepted my free dessert. However, this manager felt so bad about the error that they got double e charged. He contacted door Dash and refunded that payment as well free dinner plus twenty five dollar gift card. Positive customer service story for Dinosaur Barbecue in Syracuse. I've passed by that. I was up in Syracuse a few months ago. I saw the original. That's the original one. Um also a grammar police from Christie checking in Christie Chowder with the last name is Chowder. Her last name is Chowder. It's spelled us c h yep, see yep. I don't know. I don't know whatever might Christie Crowder. You're looking at her name, you go, I don't know how it's spelled, you're looking at it. So somebody wrote put up a sign that said Basse Shield wash station, and they put the s H E I L D. But even better, somebody left a note next to the sign before E except after see uh love the grammar police. So somebody grammar police them the sign left a mistake and just put the correction in a in an adjacent sign. Very funny. Thank you so much. That's Christy crowd love you and um also we gotta we got an email welcome to Blueberry Podcasting. Guess what we didn't make Deezer, but Brodie, we are officially on Blueberry. You get your podcast on b l U b R R I. We are on that platform as of now because we got the boys email response by h here's here's one about Spruce new listeners a couple of weeks ago. I spoke to him today, By the way, for about an hour we wrote a bit together. Nice. Well, this guy's a new listener. You guys have got me through the long drives back and forth between Massachusetts and New York. I work in Boston and New York as a nurse for COVID relief. By the way, thank you for your services. Your podcasts have kept me laughing out loud while wide awake, and I've listened in order and finally caught up. I love everything you guys do. However, I was sure Spruce's intro song would be a parody of the song Moose and Moosachusetts. There's a line that mentions a moose being loose, and you guys always say Spruce on the loose. I was singing the chorus in my head, Spruce on the loose at Z one hundred. I thought it was the obvious choice. Then I thought about it for a minute and realized what a stupid song that. I am not sure anyone that grew up outside Massachusetts that song. You're not really sure what the point of this email even is, but fuck you. Yeah. I can come up with all the songs that rhyme with the words spruce but moose. Uh. Here's a company that did the right thing from Jason Curley. Uh. Using my electric smoker that is more than three years old less than two, which stopped working, I dug in found the wiring corroded bad. I found the bad wires, repaired them, contacted char Royl, which is the company, just to let them know about the issue. I was not really looking for anything since the smoker is out of warranty. They warrantied all the parts, even though I didn't ask for anything. Wanted to give you guys of a company doing the right thing. If not for Brody, I would not have even thought of contacting them. Now. I don't let anything go, and I'm a real dick. I just added that part because he's referring to you anyway, he contacts all the companies Slice for Life. Oh, by the way, did Brody ever find the medium tooth Pruss she was looking for? Yes? I did, Yes, I did. Thank you. Can I read a couple of things real quick? Sure? Uh? This is from Brett A k A Jersey on Instagram. Okay, he said, um, I honestly think VIN should be changed to VIC Vehicle identification code because there are numbers and letters. Because he was talking about it drives them crazy when people say VIN number. Right, he said, if they changed it to VIC Vehicle Identification code because there are numbers and letters, then people would stop saying VIN number. I said, okay, but then they would start saying VIC code and he went, oh, yeah, you're right. So there's really there's really no way to stop it. Right, Okay, let's see and that gotta give you one. Grammar police. This is the Grammar Police of the week. You got the jingle you want, you want? You want a jingle jingle and I want to read a quick email? All right, A right, here we go, here we go here Gramma police, police, police police. Yep, here's a grammar mistake from Briarwood queens and the reason why this is the one that takes the cake. Monica alco Ser sent it in is a picture of I mean a life size thank you to the heroes. It's big letters. Somebody created this on the sidewalk in the like right leading up to the street and the thanks The words thanks are legit have to be at least seven or eight. Each letter is eight feet high, so think about how much work went into So it's but they spelled out thanks heroes, h E R O s oh thanks heroes. Heroes has an E at the end in between the O and the S. Correct and she wrote, Hey, guys, been listening since day one. Wanted to submit this picture from Briarwood Queen's I know they meant well, but it was so hard to miss L O L hashtag slice for life. Imagine spending all this time and then it's big s letters. As you're driving by you can see it from mile O A thanks heroes and they leave at the eight. Funny maybe it's a guy who's Greek in town and his name is Harras and yeah, maybe could be Brianna. Brianna Monies Uh sent me a d M referencing something from episode one. She said, you may have brought this back up in a later episode, but scary is so wrong about the Samsung issue where the screen lights up when you plug it in. I told the story. I told a story about how, prior to the recent update, when you you're dying Samsung phone, you plug it in, the first thing it would do would be put the screen back on. And she made sure to email me too. By the way, Oh good, I told it to I told it too. She said, I've had that, she said, um so, I said, I had spoken to somebody who actually interacted with the developers and was going to bring it to them in a meeting in the next couple of months. He was flying to South Korea to talked to the Samsung people. By the way, Samsung has a baseball team. They're the Samsung Lions, and they're the same colors as the Detroit Lions as far as the uniforms. Okay, so your phone is dying, it's on one percent. You plug it in and the screen is off, and it turns the screen back on again, and that would kill the battery sometimes faster than you could charge it. She says, I've had the damn thing. Die on me several times when the battery percentage was below five and I plugged it in, all because the screen lit up at full brightness. So now you have to wait for the phone to charge back to the five or ten percent it needs to power back up. Such a pain in the ass. I'm so glad you brought it up to the people at Samsung and they corrected the issue. Bravo, So bravo to me. Well, I just want to say there that I do not know the you know, the trials and tribulations of being a customer of a What the funk happened there there of a of an Android phone. Oh yeah, I just heard a couple of thuds in a row. But yeah, what were the thuds? What are you talking about? Whatever that was? Anyway, the point is if I'm an iPhone, you user, and I probably should have felt your pain. Sorry, I'm sorry for not feeling that. All you Android people out there that thought that Brody did a good thing, and I thought it was just unnecessary. Whatever. I have two jokes that went unused. You want to do a little unused jokes segment? I just have to we could do that. I mean, I got the jingles for you, jingle jingles the music. There's no yeah, there's no jingle for the I call it cartoon music. If I could find it, that would be great. If not, just only have the snowflake jangle. I know here it is. I got there used jokes. These are punchlines that we delivered to the show, but unfortunately they weren't used. So we saved them in a pile, and here they are not even at a pile. I don't write them anymore because I'm working from home. I put them in the group chat room that we have during the show. So Gandhi was talking about how her fish are all depressed. They're all sad in the fish tank. Right. She was doing some story about fish. So I said, the fish are sad because their schools are closed. I laughed at that. You did that, you you laughed in the chat room. I saw that R O F L M A oh, right, right, and the other one. I continued, that was a good one, Brody, just to call more attention to it. Right, you did, and nobody, nobody, nobody did. And then Garrett did a story today. He played the sound of a donkey whose owner had come back from being away from a long time. And then door Donkey was like going crazy, right, so I said, good thing that Donkey was nice to him. He could have been a jackass, which I also found fun. Right. Nope, I didn't get anything from Elvis. Nothing, nothing. So those are my two unused jokes. Um, I feel like I something what we're gonna say. No, I was gonna say, we'll take a break and then we will come back with whatever that was that you t yeah, I got, I'm ready yep. Do you remember what it was? Right back after this? Okay, okay, Um, I'm gonna tell you about you know what. I wanna do something quick and I'm gonna do something long. Let me do a quick one. Um. So, because we're in quarantine, we're trying to find ways to keep my kids entertained. The summer camp was canceled. You know, everybody has the same problems. Whatever they were gonna do. My one of my kids does gymnastics right now. The gym is closed in definitely right. So part of it is I want to entertain the kids. And part of it is we're saving a lot of money being on quarantine because we're not paying for summer camp. I'm not commuting. I'm not paying tolls. So we've put together a little bit of money that we saved that we didn't spend on the things we were going to save. We're gonna maybe go away for a week, you know, this summer. We're not doing that now. So we decided we're gonna get an inexpensive hot tub so that, you know, the kids can have the hot tub and sit in the hot tub and whatever. Okay, so I've been and by inexpensive you mean a frog pool with hot water in it. Basically, yeah, I'm gonna are in a plastic Philip blow up tub. Listen, they're a hot tub. Scary. I had no idea you can buy hot tubs for dollars with what with Like they seat twelve fifteen people with waterfalls and built in stereo systems and home and and you pay for the jets, right, you pay for like whether you're your hot tub has twenty jets or forty or seventy or a hundred, because each seat in the hot tub might have you know, ten jets or four jets. You could buy a great car for that price. Well, okay, so I went to so I tweeted I was looking for someone who could install a hot tub and run some electrical wiring. And somebody wrote back, I know you're not going to Pelican Pools throw back to an episode like two years ago. I did go to Pelican Pools and to to see if they because they have a huge showroom. Everything was sold out pretty much. It all had sold stickers on it. Hot tubs right now. I hate to say they're the hottest thing, but they are because people aren't going away. They're looking for home entertainment. You can't find a trampoline anywhere. A hot tubs are selling like crazy, So people were buying hot tubs, scary no joke, like, I'll take that one. And I look it's like it's like eighteen dollars. Oh my god, what do they do for a living? Because we're in the wrong professor. Was it Joe Rogan? I don't know, I think right and so, but they weren't even like they were like, oh does this do that? I'll take it? Can you have it in my house spend a week? They're like, yes, i'll take it. How much is that one? So I'm in like I'm in the bargain basement corner over by like the pool noodles, trying to scrape together like some nickels to afford the cheap one. And there's people walk on going how much is that one eleven? I'll take it, not asking questions, not like how many does this? What's to this? How long does it take to heat up? I don't care, Like the world I do not know, do not know. So we got a much much much much, much much much less expensive hot tub. Okay, So I'm looking for someone to install it. Now by the time you hear this podcast, I have somebody. Okay. So I find a website and the headline on the website in orange lettering is Spa, Pool and Whirlpool Tub Installation and Repair Services in New Jersey, and then it says affordable and trustworthy Worldpool Bathtub, Spa and Pool Installation Services call us. So I call, and the woman answers the phone and just how can I help you? I said, I'm thinking about buying a hot tub. I have one in mind, but I need someone to install the hot tub, and she says, oh, I'm sorry, we don't install hot tubs. But it says it right there in the advertisement. It says it on the top of the website. What does it say, spa isn't a spa hot tub? Yeah? Now, please tub, don't tweet me. I know some people call him spas And so I said, what did it say. It says, speaking again, spa pool and whirlpool tub installation and repair services. Okay, okay, it sounds like two of the three right there, right, So I said, but I said, there's a picture of a hot tub on your website. It's even worth I said, you're you're affordable and trustworthy. Well, certainly not trustworthy. At this point, I rule that out. So she says, well, I've never heard of that. Hold on. So she puts me on hold. I'm thinking to myself, I can't hire this company. The woman who works there doesn't even know they do installations. It's on the website. She comes back and she says, um, apparently we do. I said, yeah, that's what I said. Oh my god. So she says, give me your number, will schedule an in home visit for an estimate. So I said, I'm not doing an in home visit right now. I don't know if you know this. We're in the middle of a pandemic. So she says, well, I have to get authors I said, what if I send you photographs of the deck and where the power supply is in my backyard and you could see everything involved. I'll show you under the deck whatever you want, so you can give me just a ballpark. I don't need a written estimate. Give me a ballpi. I have no idea what it cost to reinforce the deck and run the two twenty line. You know whatever I need. So she puts me on hold. So while I'm waiting on hold for her, she's gone maybe four minutes, five minutes. So a little button, a little a little chat window pops up on the website and it says, Hi, thanks for visiting our website. Is there anything I can assist you with? It starts over she just abandoned you. No, no, no, no no. The website has a chat. She put me on hold to see about doing a virtual You start the website chat. What happened? I didn't. A little pop up came up and said, would you like to chat? Do you have any questions? Okay, okay, all right. So now you have two people helping you, a bot and this woman who's uninformed. So the so the bot says to me, I don't ignore it. It says, were you able to find the information you were looking for? So I right back and I write, I called about a hot tub installation and I was told by the woman who answered the phone, you don't do them. You're no, no, I'm not, I said. Your website clearly says otherwise. And he writes back, we are a full service company and would be happy to help. May I ask you a few questions to better understand your need? So I wrote back okay, someone, I said, So I write them again and I said, I want to do a home thing. He said, okay, someone from our office can help with this. Would you like me to have them contact you? So I said, look, I'm either gonna install and right back what I need. So they right back, Okay. For further assistance, you can call our show room at this number. Is there anything else I can help you with? So I said, why are you here if you don't actually help. You're telling me to call after I told you the woman on the phone told me you don't do what I asked them to do. At your website says you do it. It's like the little paper clip that used to show up on the side of the freaking computer, like, can I help you remember that? Right? They still have that. So this person writes back, I'm sorry for the confusion. I'm part of the live chat support team. Let's get an expert technician to your home. They will assess your issue recommend a personalized solution. Would you prefer a morning, afternoon, or evening appointment? So I wrote back, none of the above. There's a pandemic. I don't want anyone at my house. Can you please just tell me what the price is? Or tell me if I said, can you at least confirm they don't want to do it. It's part of the sales pitch. They don't they want you. They want to hook you so they could stick you at the price after you have invested your time and energy. So they have not met the likes of David Bruce. So the woman gets back, that's right. The woman gets back on the phone. Right, The woman says, I spoke to my my manager, and he says, we have to come to the house. So of course they do. So I says, they're not going to give you a price until it's too late, and then by that point, no matter what, you'll pay anything, because like, oh, they're already here. So I said, can I at least speak to your manager or anyone anyone who does the install anyone at your company who does the installs. I have a quick question. She says, no, they don't take phone calls. You have to meet them in person. So I said, So, I said, you know what, you were right the first time. You are not doing my hot up installation. You're right? So yeah, I said, that's I can't work with you that Pelican pools. No, no, it was all right. So I want I want to I'm gonna wrap this up. You have something else that I wanted to do? A wrap up about how I got paid to have a flat tire? No, no, no, we can. We can hold. I have two of the things we'll do for next week. Are you sure? Whatever you know, I just have like a running list of ship. Well, I can do a short thing about my fight with Enterprise. I could do that real quick, and I'll save how I got paid for a flat tire for next week. So I need to rent a car from my wife tomorrow because she's driving up to college to get to bring my daughter home and her boyfriend, who who lives in the same town near the school. They have two apartments, right, and they're they're both coming down to this to my area. Um, so school's out right, So uh, it's it's all her stuff and and and and and something that he needs taken in a big car. And uh and a painting. She's my daughter paints, so we need to bring home her giant painting. Okay. So I said, you know what, rather than take our car because she it's gonna require two trips, why don't we rent a decent sized suv. Whatever the price is, it's going to be less than to wear and tear on our car, and you don't have to make two trips. They'll save you the trip and the painting will fit in a bigger suv. Great idea. So I call enterprise rent a car. And I don't know if you know this. If you have a cult, enterprise run a car. If you look up the phone number of your local branch and you call it, it still goes to the corporate office. Okay, yeah, they routed. They do that with hotel reservations too. You can play on the local front desk of the hotel and then it goes to like marry out Worldwide where they asked you all over again. Which property and city are you looking for? Hello? Right? The best thing the best thing about that is once you get the number for the front desk, the real number, you can quote the price they gave you on the phone, regardless of what the price was they gave you on the phone. It's fantastic. Wait wait wait wait the price that the main Yeah, so you you call the hotel and you get corporate, and corporate says, we'll give you the king size room for one. So when you call the front desk of the hotel, they go, yeah, what they tell you on the phone? I go on, really, yeah, they told me it was I got lucky there was over oh okay, and they honor it half the time. It's great because they can't reverse the call and find out where you can't where the call came from. Right, You don't book it on the fall and you just get the price from the phone. And then you call the hotel and they said I should call you in case uh to to to verify availability. Wow. Yeah, I've done that. That's like the travel version of grabbing a free grape soda. Yeah you're good, Okay, Well, well you here my free tire, my flat tire story. All right. So I call Enterprise and I say, they say, uh, what's your zip code? I give it to him. They said, okay, you have to go to store number seven. I'm making up a number. I said, well, here's what I need. I need a medium size SUV like a Ford Explorer. Okay. I don't need an Escalade or a Tahoe, which are extra large. I need a large, a regular large suv because they're all price differently. Right. So I said I need an Explorer. So she says, okay, that's a medium suv. That's called a medium suv. I can get you one of those in store seven by your house for tomorrow. Great. She do you want to book it now? I said no, I'll call you back in five minutes. Now, this was the corporate number. So I'll call you back in five minutes and I'll book it. Great. I confirm with my wife. She wants the car for tomorrow. Great. I called back and I say, I speak to a different woman. Now. I had already been quoted a price of eighty six dollars and fifty seven cents including the tax for a Ford Explorer. Okay. So the woman says, uh, store number seven doesn't have any Ford Explorers from what I can see. But in the same class of car, I can give you a Chevy Equinox. Now, no, not, a Chevy Equinox is two thirds the size of an Explorer. It's right, right, Okay, I don't know. I I don't know. These Americas, an Equinox is considered a small a small suv, and I'm thinking of something else. Okay, what are you thinking of? A Japanese car, a Tahoe versus the Equinox A tahoe. It's like a tahoe is like an escalade. It's just ok gotch. The the um Chevy Equinox is a much smaller car, understood, Okay, It's a two row suv and not what I wanted. The Ford Explorer is a is a three row, much bigger car, right, Okay, So I said, well, I want to explore. Well, it's the same class of car that're the same size. I said, no, No, it may be the same size for you guys, but it's not the same size in real life. In real life, the Explorer is dramatically bigger than the little car you're trying to give me. When you guys told me five minutes ago, I could have an explorer. Right, Why do you think there are no explorers left? Because people know that it's a bigger car, right right, That's exactly correct. So I said, I want the explorer, So he says. She says to me, well, I can't promise you a car. I said, well, the last woman promised me a car. Just sir, we would never promise a car. Well the last one did. She's well, I I don't know. I can't promise you a car. You can book it now and then you could ask them tomorrow. So I said, well, I can't wait till tomorrow. I gotta have the car reserved. I gotta know that I have a car big enough so I can confirm with my daughter she can bring her ship home. So she says, I said, well, can I call the local office myself? Yeah, well what number do I call? Because I called the local number and I got you. So she here's a little tip for you guys. When it says HI, thank you for calling enterprise, press one for two, for three, for whatever. If you hit the asterisk button, it goes to the local office. But you'd have no way of knowing that because that's not one of the options. They give you so secret code for employees who work for the company, Like I'm gonna hit asterisk. Yeah, so hit the asterisk, and so I get the local guy. That's just right. So yeah, I could read the companies, but it's fantopropri So I get the local the local guy, and I tell yeah, I tell the guy in the in the store seven. I said, Look, I was promised and explore. He says. I. I can't do an Explore for that price. I don't have one, but I can. You know you're looking at a Chevy Equinox, I said, again, the Chevy Equinox is not the same size. He goes, well, yes it is. Again in real life, it's not the same size. I can't make a painting fit in a small car because you classify it as the same size as an Explore. The Explore is a giant ass car. So how did you win this one? Because it's really just a difference of opinion at this point. Okay, he says, Well, to be honest with you, sir, I don't have any because it's one World Day weekend. I goes, and why are we fighting? You don't even have one, I said, because I was telling him he's got to honor the price. He's like, I'm not honoring the price. So I hang up on him, and I call Store nine, which is the second closest store to me, and I get Anthony on the phone and I tell him the story. Anthony says, uh, my inventory, I have an equinox, I said Anthony, and I have the same conversation with him. I said, eight six fifty seven, I need a bigger car, and said, I have a Tahoe, but that's a hundred and forty. Do I go do it? I'm not pin a hundred forty. I locked in for an explore. You gotta help me here. Please tell me he gave you the taho for eighty six dollars. So he says to me, I got an Acadia. The Acadia. Now you're throwing a whole other car clash into that GMC. Acadia is the larger SUV. It's like the Chevy Traverse. So he's gonna hook you up. He says, I got that in stock, but that's a higher rate. I said. I said, man, listen, I gotta bring my kid home from college. I told my wife eight six fifty seven. I talked to corporate. Corporate told me eighty six fifty seven the first time off. They're back. Come on, man, tell me they hooked you up. Please, I said, the first woman told me confirmed explorer eight fifty seven. Then they don't have it. You're not honoring you. Gotta help me out here. He says. You know what, man, it's the world Day weekend. We gotta pan pandemic going on. He says, you got the car for fifty seven. So I'm like, so shout out to Anthony at Enterprise because he did right by me. He did. But I'm telling you you gotta got a fight between local and corporate because he costs you a lot of time and energy and breath. Brod. You might want to return it with one of the wheels missing. I'm owed this wheel. This is not even You cost me time and energy, free gas. Send it to him on cinder blocks. The rims no, because I got my free upgrade. I'm good, but you're a greedy bastard. You usually don't stop it good. You stop it like I fucking own the world, I own your company. Are you done? Yeah? I think we're done. Why don't you call Joe Rogan up and tell him. He's a greedy bastard, so you know, I just may have the mind to do that. I got balls because if from BROOKLSS Boys Boys