The Off Air Show 'Skittle In The Middle' - Ep.58

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Speaker 1: Elvis Derand presents just off Air Show with this Scary Jones and Greg Tea. It's fair show. I'm scary though, with Greg Tea and the ball freak ron here. That wasn't a good one. It wasn't okay one. I'm gonna be The rhythm was off. He saw the look on his face after he did it. He realized it wasn't that great. I don't want to scream. It was why not? You're screaming at people? Who's screaming with people? Yeah? I hope, I hope every he's having a nice time. You are, You're cheering sections come on, Okay, that sets the tone for the whole podcast. You understand that. But when I do that, then I always get this. You know my ears are bleeding. That's high guessibl alright, I'm not gonna do with that anymore. If you guys don't like it, I'm not gonna do it. Are alright? He's still on this kick. I never said I wasn't he trying to please us? Trying to please so you can always reach it at the off Air Show on Twitter, at that handle, at the fair Show Instagram, at the fair Show. That's if we do something that you might want to see. We're gonna post it there. Yeah, and we love your email at the offair Show at gmail dot com. Uh also one zero one hundred that's our phone number. Way to show so many ways. We're not looking for yous, looking for toddlers. We're looking for We're looking for air heads. Are you in air head and an off air head? What's your name? Man? Oh, you might be the ultimate uh affair head. You might have to lead our fandom. Hey, I'm down for what you guys want me to do. It could be Omar, but it also could be Hubby because Hubby loves you know, ball freak. She follows us on Instagram on Twitter as well. I know Olmore as I'm a huge fan. We love Omar he does. And in the moment we actually announced that we had the all fair Show, I'm sorry the off fair heads, he was like, I'm in off fair head. Immediately he jumped into it. A king and a queen? What about a king and a queen could be Hubby? Like I said today, I was, I was getting a couple of Keith extracted. And now you guys are a perfect remedy. Man. I guess my my mouth was strong and tweek. We need like styrofoam headphones to hand out, you know, like how you know the Green Bay Packers fans they have the cheese heads. Yeah, then they wear the piece of cheese on their heads like that, like some kind of like a rubber start foam something. Let's talk about manufacturing more things will never get up. Why did you get your teeth taking out? What happened? Man? You know, I'm just having having a little bit of pain over the labor day weekend, and uh, I went to the dentist to get a check down, and uh turns out I needed to get the truth. I don't even go to the dentist. I can't go you know why I can't go to his teeth of brown? I can't. Oh I can't stand that sound that that drilling and then oh god, I get kill man. Oh you hear that? Huh? I can't I can't even I'll remember was you with the episode where you were talking about how you didn't go to the dentist over like seven years ago, when your your tooth is black and I was eating I was eating altoys because it always smelled inside my math. How does your wife kiss you with that man. He had a decaying, rotting hole, stinky gum hole. Man. You need you need proper hygiene. How did they do the Oh did they shoot you up a novocating? They give you the gas? What do you take? Actually, I don't take anything. I've got four of my wisdom teeth removed and I don't get anything. You know, you are awake for. That's what I'm an army I'm an army combat event man. This is how we do it in the military. I feel weak. I was They put me under for my wisdom teeth man, and I don't I don't take I don't take nothing, man, I just I'm just going there, sit down and tell him. He yank, yank the you're a man's man. I get a cleaning. I get nitrous oxide for a cleaning, for a cleaning. Bro. I just want to be like, you know, I want to be an out of space though. That's really what it's all about, not about the pain. I could take the pain. Take the pain. I mean it, and you know depends them, you know, it depends them choose and in your paints holler, it's like I got tattoos as well and stuff like that. But yeah, I'm just gonna gotta get something used to it. I guess more, how many tattoos you got, buddy? I got third team, looking to get a couple more done? Nice man. I I know what I'm getting my next tattoo on. I think it's September. Let me look at there. What is the Wednesday before the weekend. Let's see it is September, the one. I'm sorry, September twenty, Tuesday, the twenty. If we could all get my next taoot, you know what, I'm gonna have tattoo Dave, call in tattoo Dave's gonna call. I'm gonna calling after you guys, after you guys get the worst the first and get to number one. Yeah, we'll get an off air tattoo on me. I like that. And you know what episodes to go before we reach one hundred. Uh, I'm gonna hashtag works the first. I'm not so sure that we'll see if we're gonna get there, Oh, Mark, If we get the number one, I'm gonna bring in my guy. I'm gonna bring in tattoo Dave, and he is gonna do tattoos for bald freak and for scary right here, we're doing a lot in the affair show. Yeah, I gotta get a tattoo. If we get the first, absolutely we become the number one most listen to podcast under the I Heart Radio umbrella, under the Elder Story of Presents. That's yeah. Oh more good idea and Gary and ball for You're going to get off air show tattoo. So it's just gonna read what about your number one? Is that? What's gonna say? No, no, We'll say off air show. You'll you'll say off their head and then you're gonna put the number one there. The date was the first with a big piece of like a big tattoo of a sausage. I'll have my guy doing like every I would like a tattoo of every pizza box in America that says you tried all the rest. Now try the bear. That's great too. That that's great. I love tattoo of that. Well listen either way, I'm gonna bring up the guy. So tattoo Dave is coming in. Tattoo date from the Broadway Tattoo Lounge in South Africa coming in Jersey. Now, Ohmar, would you get a tattoo of a sausage on your on your body for the off air show. I just want to know I might all right, I just want to know what sort of standard you have here because because the first time you've turned something down. Oh Mark, we want to thank you very much for listening to the off air show man. You really are a true off air head man. You really are. Thanks. Don't expect that T shirt anytime. Yeah, omar, stand hold and I'm gonna take your information. I'm sending out off not the dentist drill, both drills. There you go already, the show starting off great. A guy get his wisdom teeth pulled that without going under or even having like local novocaine or something. I need something. He really is a glut for punishment. He's a fan of this show and he doesn't for the soul. You know, it's a good point. You know what, if you're listening right now and you also get your work, your your mouth operated on without any novocam or gas, please email us. We'd like to call you back and put you on. We want to find out what kind of a person can go to the dent doesn't get the work done without any novocam ur or or gas. That's crazy. What's the worst. What's the worst piece of dental work you've ever had done? Have you ever wisdom that I have only three of them done? Three I've had root canal. Oh, I did that about one recently, I've had a as well. That's right. That was rough, wet me good dentist music. I had some d gotta dent This music be a dentist from the Rocky with a little Shop of horrors. Doctor feel Good? You get that to feel good? Maybe do to feel good? Feel good? That has nothing to do with the dental Think that's more about drugs. No, it's not doctor feel Crue song, it's the d yes Come on the ray here on the off air show, We're going We're Molly Crue mc marry Smile and Nicky Ship Night from nine eight from the Doctor Frood with your title track such as usual. This is crazy like a stir till I have scared out of the Mukay d J Scary Jones in the house. It's a Thursday. It's wife, It's excited. Here's a looking no show. Final guys at the dentist comes from the Drift. Who wants called us a one D two two one hundred on the all fair show. Who do you got treating a little bay dentists say he's the one to call it. He wanted to feel all right, he's he's gonna be Frank Sign. Yeah, seriously, nothing to do with the dentist whatsoever. Really, what do you think it's about drugs? The world needs more dentist songs. So listen, we gotta get our football picks out. Yes, yes, we turned to today. Yeah, I got a couple of picks tonight, Right tonight, tonight tonight. In fact, there's taken on the Broncos and whole world changes tonight rematch a rematch You feel like the super Bowl? Well no, Cam Newton says it's not a rematch, it's just our next opponent. He doesn't want to hype it up. You don't like the Broncos suck without Peyton Manning, they're not the same. They get this like new quarterback in there, and there's no way he's gonna put the same as like numbers that Peyton's gonna have, And a lot of guys have left and gone to different teams getting that a little bits gonna play a brand new game called skittle in the middle. Skittle in the middle middle. Nice that much back, that's a that's a from Skittles right now. The song of the show, this kid is to you, it's the bleachers. Yeah, I didn't want to get better on the off air show. Nice Hey, hear the voice of the treature from the backgroud calling my name and the fellow just to find you. I trained the faith to a broken down television and put on the weather and I'm training myself, taking about running the baskets, frozen time between our scissor caskets and ross control, and I'm panicked at the acid chest, I want to get better and chasing us down Parkway. That I was moving my mind because below the love, the loveful of the love of the game, wasted on a nice beach, in a blazing fearing for the helmet on the helmet, counting second through the night came. So now I'm standing out screaming out of the car, Swayne cha money to the room, and then the girls on the ceiling cut out the pictures and a chase. That feeling of an eighteen year old I didn't know what loss was. Now I'm a stranger and Mr days of my life still permit more in the years before I got carried away. It's a nast day at the end of state, screaming out of sad, holding out you what the bleachers. That's a freak bad right there, fair show, scary freak Tea and the ball free Nie one hundred. Hello, who's this lawn? The single Lula, Laura? How do you know single out there? It's Thursdy Thursday and Lulele and Lauren? You have some kind of bumble date. I feel have a bumble date tonight. Very nice? Is it with wald Freak Granny? I'm not you know what you know. I gotta tell you, you know, Lulu, Lemon, Lauren, that I feel bad that we really never made it. You know, full circle, come full circle between ball freaking yourself. I really did think I thought we were close to a match. I know, I mean something that happened. Are you upset that bald Freak did not call you? Bald Freaker, you know why didn't you call her? I don't have a number. Bald Freak is being very passive in this situation. He wants no part. We did. We did at one point think that you guys did hook up. We did think that you guys hooked up just once, but he denies it. We we still think that hooked up with her. We still denied. I think that you did meet her. I was supposed to go to most tavern with her. You're supposed to pay the day. But Laura doesn't want to commit because it sounds like that we're creeping her out. Actually, who are you going out with tonight? What are you doing tonight? Tonight? I am going out to watch Okay? Cool? Now, Now, how long we've been talking to this dude? She's a great girl. Only a couple of weeks. A couple of weeks. Now, if you had some phone conversations to make sure you're not getting cat fished face time something. Yeah, we talked on the phone a few times. That's good. So you know that he's a guy, and I just don't catfish. So I know that he's a guy, hopefully not a killer wells. But they're not like that. She's willing to go to the sports bar and watch the game tonight. I mean, so she's gonna go with some guy. Maybe they'll kick back up a couple of beers. That's the kind of trick she is, Dude, I haven't worked out for you is he an older dude? Was younger? What's up? He's a little bit older, not too much older. Perfect, Tell it's only you're feeling good about now. Make sure you have you gotta bring in the backup though you have somebody, you have one of you girls that are going to be at the bar like kind of spy doesn't work out right? Yeah, so actually my friends and her fiance's are going to the same but they're gonna be sitting in the corner. Perfect, Now, what's your exit strategy? Strategy is if I walk past their table and you have to come up with the code word. If I say that code word, then they know they know that the rescue you. So what's the code word? Why don't you use the code word that we use here at the off air show, jackal Yeah, jacklobe, jacklobe a word here we use jackalope, Yeah, jacklobe. The word is jackalobe jack jack albe but jacolobe. Yeah. So when you walk past the table and you say jacklobe, that means in five minutes, come rescue me. That's right? And how how will they rescue you? How? What's what are they going to be? Like? Are they going to call your phone, like, how do you get out of a bad bumble date? I'm not sorry that much advance. I'm thought her work, but then we're going to figure it all out. Okay, good, awesome. You need a plan. Everyone needs a plan. I love that. I love the fact that lulav and Lauren calls here. I swear, if I could get divorce right now, I would go out with you, Laurence. If I'm sure you wouldn't take much. It's too costly, it's too costly. But if I could get divorced, Lauren, I would date you. I would take you on a great day tonight. All you have to do is go out with her and then you'll be getting divorce. Go out with her and then I'm sure trip will serve you a deal breaker. Lulu lav and Lauren, you want me to pick you up and take you on a date. I don't want to. Is that a deal breaker for you? Like? If you take another girl out? Is that's like? I don't think there's no way, no, just an innocent little dude Nursty Thursday watching the football game with it If I said the we have this girl that calls into the off air show and I want to take her on a date. I would have to at least say, you know, Balfreak is gonna come with me? Or scary, I couldn't do it by myself. She would be a little bit like, come on, that's ridiculous you're taking her on a date. I'd have to take one of you guys with me. Okay, we'll say, what if she didn't know that you were married? If Lula Laura, she knows because she listens. I'm saying, if there's another girl you're into, like you want to hang out? Yeah, just casually. That's not good. I don't think it's curious. Trish ain't going for it. All right, there's no way. Sorry, tried. Well, wait, can you call us? Can you call us on Monday and tell us how your bumble date went? Go with that? Yeah? Like that? All right, I'm penciling you in. We're gonna check in. It's a very light pencil with an e racer because nothing gets done around here ever. But as soon as we get a T shirt, we're gonna send it out to you. We always over promise, so we're gonna try. But we're gonna try and make our best effort because I do want to hear the follow up to this story? And if Gregg wants to take you out without your knowing, you're just you'll be Lulu letters secret save with us. You're going with Lulu. Lenny, All right, listen, thank you for calling the All Fair shows. Are you gonna call us on Monday? Let us know how the bumble date went? Awesome? Speaking of shirts, can anyone tell me how the hell you roll up a long sleeve shirt and it doesn't look like that's is there? You know how to do it? Absolutely? I've never seen you wear like a long sleeve shirt like rolled up. You're a T shirt guy? No, No, I when I wear long sleeve shirts, I do roll them up in the summertime. Like does this look right? This looks like a big mess right here? Really right? Yeah? It's glumpy? Okay, you have to you have to actually do one fold and then a third, second fold, the third and fourth that's what I gets. Cast your elbow? You know what? This would be great? Can we get share on the phone for on Tuesday? She can call us and talk about a fashion man's fashion? It is fashion week? Is fashion week? Fashion shows are going on between now next Wednesday. Fashion. I like to think of myself as you know, relatively good at dressing myself. But this is something I need to overcome. This is a big mess. It's pretty loose. I like button enjoy that. It's like in the summer out New York City. He has sleeve like wizard. Alright, So listen, can we get shared on the phone on Tuesday or could she come in? I hope she can come in. Are the YouTube tutorials for this? I don't know, but we should get Sharon because Sharon knows everything about fashion. She knows what guys are wearing because she's you know, always spying on guys as well. But she's not a guy. How would she know how to roll up a sleep She'll know exactly what up the guns my my forearms. Come find out. She can be with us on Tuesday and find out if she can get up fore arms. Look at that. Already next week we've got two guests already, we got Lulu and Laura on Monday. Doesn't like to be considered a guest. She likes to be considered one of the guys. Alright, So one of the guys her guests. But she's one of the guys she's all right, let's go. What's the game today. We're gonna be playing a game called Skittle in the Middle. Nice. Here's the music for that. Alright, guys, why tell alive from right Troy night Ale. Here we go. Here's how the game is playing. Why are we playing? You? Spin me around? Because scary you will be spinning in a chair. So here's how Skittle in the Middle works. So I've got two packages of Skittles here. So and this is all sponsored by Skittles by Mars who makes Skittles. Eminem's. They did pay for this, so it's a sponsorship and we had to come up with the game. All right, So you're just crid and get a pack of freaking Skittles out of this unbelievable freak. So here, I'm gonna hand this over to ball freak. Here's this is scary. You're gonna get into one of our office chairs. I'm gonna be right here in this chair. All right, you're in the office chair. I'm gonna spin you around, and then what's gonna happen is ball Freak is gonna throw skittles at you. Alright, any color you want. You gotta keep your mouth open, and if he can get a skill in your mouth, then you're gonna have to do push ups. No, I'll to do ten pushups, and if he misses, then you have to do ten push ups. So you have to try to catch these skittles in your mouth while I spin you and Balfrey throws them at even the dumbest game. Happy my hands, skittle in the middle. Here we go. That will be shittle in the middle. Catch, wash your hands. That's my germs. Okay, so how are you do? So? Okay, we'renna put this microphone on. I'm gonna you're gonna spin me here. Yeah, I gotta take my headphones off here all right? The music no, no we we no no no music for this point music well, because people even can't hear what's going on. All right, So right, scar, he's in the chair, all right, the headphones are gonna get tangled. I will stay where. You gotta be away, Yeah, you gotta be When can he spin? If I spin this one time around so he can't spin, So we're clearing up like the spin was gonna spin with his mouth open, right, and then when he comes around on this, I gotta try to get it into his mouth. It's like a It's like a carnival game. I like this. He's like the clown and I wanted the big balloon coming out of it. He wants to catch it. If he if he catches it, you gotta do ten push ups if I do. How did I get involbed do it? I'll do yeah, I mean I don't mind. So if he catches it, I know. If he catches it, I have to do ten. And if he misses, he's gotta be boy. Right here you go risking reward. No, you gotta you gotta spin around first, guys, I'm spinning. He's going around. I'm gonna wait for you to spend them like a dozen times before I throw it. See if he vombit's first. Here we go, Here we go. First, the orange skin off Rudy Flavius bright size candies. Oh my god, hit him in the lay off? Did you get a practice? There's no there's no one. Did you get for his eyeballs? One more? Come on, list? Oh how you miss? Come close and come spinning. Let's do three more. Oh my god, Oh my god, I'm so dizzy. That was That was the exhibition round. I'm dizzy, and that is how you play skittle in the middle. Skilled, give me the g give me the music. Guys, I'm so I'm not even kidding all give you and that's how play skittle in the middle, Nelison, Are your friends spining around that that? I really hope that some of our affair head friends are gonna play this game in their office. What I want you to do is I want you to go down to your kitchen. He looks like scar He's gonna throw off. It looks so good, vomit. You go down to go to the vending machines. Can go, grab yourself some skittles. You have to keep my eyes close. I gotta keep my keep my head on the table, and grab yourself. There's a waste basket. What's wrong with you? D give him the skittle? What the hells are with you? Freaking man? You can't spin around in a circle? Well, are you kidding me? Give me spin the black circle? I'm dizzy. Well do you have black circle? That's a great song. What other good another spinning song? What's a good spin song? There's not even another good spin song. Spin doctor, spin doctor, doctors, spin doctors. Back in the day, dude. Spin doctors had great songs. Princes to princes, Yes, that's right, but a spin doctor, that's it, all right. So let's just scared some mess, all right. So that's how you play skittle in the middle. You get one of your friends, they get on their desk chair space and then you spin them while your other friend throws skittles in his mouth, and if he catches them, they use some pushups and it's a good exercise for years. Well, well, you have to do the pushups now right, No he missed, he owes me pushups, spinning guy, No, screw, you absolutely got to do pushups like he was his job to catch the skittles and he fail. My job to be the mouth. I'm just a receptacle. If you don't catch change the two of you. All right, listen, we're gonna do this again. We're just again next week. Just chest bump and do ten push ups. You know what I think. I gotta tell you. I think if I take my underwear off and put it in scary his mouth because I eat my underwear completely. All right, here we go. What was that game? We got football picks? We do it's the return to the NFL. Tennessee scary, grab yourselves a low around your knees. The sports bar got the Panthers taken on. Wait where are you going tonight? Scared? Where you going tonight? I'm not gonna be watching the game at the Poorhouse and Poorhouse Hoboken. I like that. Gonna watch the game, I might go to Barcade in Jersey City, play some some eighties video games, drink some some stout. Dude, I've only been there one time. I love that. I think the bar is very cool bar. I got a buddy of mine who it's always good gowing to a bar where your buddy's the owners get free drains. It's great. So I'm gonna go to a place called Jayrs in Ford's, New Jersey. I'm headed that just Jersey's in the house. Van Louin owns the bar. That's right, and I'm gonna that's where I'm going on to Jayr's. Watched the games. Still got what wrong with you? I'm dizzy? Called the medics the off air show. Medics got to come in here with a stretcher and some smelling salts. Here's here's what we're gonna do every Thursday. Every Thursday, we will give you our three picks, all right, all the games that we like. Whoever does better by Monday A gets to where the off air show sombrero for the week sobrero. Yes, so I have a sobrero most sent us a sobrero for most half and we have so we got a lot of games that choose from this is sobraro, though, scary. Pick your first game. Pick one game, one game? Uh well, first of all, let's go with tonight. I like the Panthers over the Broncos. They got a brand new a brand new quarterback and no more Peyton manning for the Denver Broncos. I do think that Cam Newton will just steamroll all over them. And let's see their favored by three point. I think they're gonna definitely is straight up. This is no point straight What else you got? All right? So that's your first one, Ronnie Barlfrey, give me yours, hive me your first game, first dame, I'm gonna go with. I had my fantasy football draft last night. My team's name is cap Fro cap Bro and uh and I my first pick was from the Atlanta Falcon. So I'm gonna go with the Bucks. Falcons game. Julius Jones and um and the Atlanta Falcons in that game. No Julio Jones's ju Julius whatever. Orange, Just catch him, just catch them goddamn touchdowns. Okay, okay, here's my first pick of the weekend. Come on, my first pick of the weekend. Dude, I love the Jets. Okay, I like Jets taking on the since today Bengals at the in in New York. You're absolutely crazy. The Bengals are gonna crush. You're know what. I'm taking the Jets. I'm going with the Jets. The Bengals are gonna Patrick. I'm telling you, Patrick, problem with playing with your playing with the team you love. You're betting with the team you love. You're not gonna You're not You're not being realistic. I really like the cow I like the Cowboys and the Giants. But I like the Jets as well. So I'm really like the Cowboys and the Giants. Isn't that like I love for Bustos. I just love it. I know you do, all right, So after my first one, okay, scared, give me your second pick of the week. Um, I really like the Packers over the Jacksonville Jaguars to this week. Come on, that's an easy one. No, it's not. It's not easy. Oh, come on, wait a second. Isn't this supposed to be the easy one. You're supposed to give the easy picks, the ones that are going when people. All right, fine, he's entitled entitled alright, so scary. He's got Green Bay Jacksonville go ball freak. Your second pick of the week, I'm going I got the Cleveland Browns versus the Philadelphia Eagles. Man. I love Philly. I love the Eagles Philly. But my boy, coasted boy, Josh, he's a big Cleveland Browns fan. I got Duke Johnson Jr. Yeah is that his name? Is that right, Duke Duke Johnson Junior Johnson. I got that guy right, Yeah, he's my running back. So I'm going with the Cleveland Browns and coasted boy Josh. Alright, gotcha, Sorry, it's not your second pick. My second pick of the weekend, I'm gonna take the Dolphins and Seattle obviously, the play in Seattle, dude, And you know what, that's where Carla Marie and where Sustin Anthony and my Day Friday. Remember those guys. I love their podcasts. So I'm taking Seattle Seahawks definitely over the Dolphins rushing them in Seattle. My second pick, go scared, give me your third pick. My third pick, gotta take the Houston. Uh what the Houston? I'm still where's my football music? You're out of it? Football moves to Chicago. Let me tell you, Let me tell you why the Bears really sucked this year? Pretty awful. No, No, I think I think the textions where it's at all right, I think that that that that's gotta be. That's a guaranteed wins. Are your third and final pick because the Texans. The Texans. Yeah, alright, go Ronnie, give me your third and final pick. I'm gonna stay local. Two teams I've always hated, and we'll always hate, the New York Giants and the Dallas Cowboy. You're gonna go there. You're gonna go there. That Prescott for the rout about and now he wishes film mcconky versus Troy Aikman I wish to bring. And the Dallas Cowboys really beaten the New York Football Giants. I would have stayed away from that game. I would never have taken that. Well, you're a Cowboys fan, aren't you. I don't try to do admitute my third and final pick. My third and final pick. I'll take the the gate. It's a good game. It's gonna get you get the New England Patriots taken on the Cardinals in Arizona night minus, Yes, Sunday night minus Tom Brady. You know Tom Brady, he's h He's gone for four games, right, So you know what I'm going with the Arizona Cardinals to crush the New England Patriots in Arizona at home. That's my three picks the flate gate. So there you go. My three picks are the Seahawks, the Cardinals, and the Jets. Uh Skier. Your three picks are the Texans, the Green Bay Packers and the what else did they? Panthers? The Panthers. Your three picks. I got Falcons, Brown's Cowboys got you. There you go, guys, there are are NFL picks of the week. He's gotta go to the er. So I guess he just said the guys never playing that game again? All right, Listen, you'd like when you heard today? Give us a tweet on Twitter at the A Fair Show, email us at the offer show gil dot com follows at Instagram as well. Lulu Leavin Lord calls it a Monday possible share on Tuesday. Please have a great weekend, guys, house. Just watch me now. Just watch me now. I got some for you now, for which you won't believe you. Just watch me now. I just watch me. I got some fine f you won't. I just watch me now,