The Off Air Show - 'Happy New Year' - Ep.94

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Speaker 1: Says Elvis drand Presents Off air show is Scary Jones, Great tea look episode number ninety four, Happy New Year. If you're listening when finally found this episode in throwing up, what if you found it in twenty sixteen, you're gonna be like a paradox of time travel. I don't think that that's could be physically possibly me louder Bro, that would be an episode. Let's get some resolutions going. On an episode of Twilight, she wanted to turn it up because we're about to turn it out. Turn it up, turn up, about to turn it up. I'm gonna turn it off? Episode nine four, all the six episodes to go, The Big Show, Episode one hundred, what's all fair heads? Scary? Tell us the trunk burfas back because we're back off their heads were black and were Walt freak, Are you black? Walt breaking a little bit here? What y'all tell you back? Yeah, lads, the gentlemen off their head track loves everywhere we are black standin from I'm missing my home and his chel Town. That's the jel I'm deding all right, fire roses for my last from my phone the next time to get right while that's song and last called my friends time to take that shot? Were back in town. We're gonna get that time and I ain't got everywhere. It's been a long time. Trum Where is yalling dead? Yelline? Who's that? All? Are? Every one of you? Tell your body song? Tell you fucking Town? That's drop kick Murphy's. I like that song? You know, like that? They did that? They did that song that you play on What is it on St? Patrick's Day? I'm I'm kicking up to Boston or something? Are They're cool? They're Irish? You like that little bagpipe. I don't think there's any song that you could name that features a bagpipe in the lead like a rock song. I mean not that I can then my head. You know some people they add in some cowbell right old school. So you guys, man, how is your braink A lot of whistling and song? Was your break? I love listen. I had a great time. I don't know about you, guys, but I mean it was wonderful. It was time that I needed off because if you think about it, normally we get two weeks off, right, but this year we got one week. So I had a cram all this stuff in two weeks and all my activities into one week. What did you get your girlfriend for Christmas? For the holidays? What did you get her? Holiday's Christmas? It's Christmas, Christmas, Chris, I don't listening. I got her a uh I got her a Canada Goose jacket. Oh yeah, yeah, that's big bucks. You gonna start saving all year for that. Maker put it on with some Brian panties and nothing underneath. Such a fantasy. Listen, we talk first of all, hold on a second, let's resolve something. People were commenting over the holidays about the time when when Share came up with the Santa suit we posted that video. Did you see greg T looking like a leech? People? All they could notice was Greg T drooling, his eyes popping out of his head like a cartoon. Guys, I mean we had a toller in the house taking off her clothes. Are you kidding? He was unexpected this, she was that, she looked awesome. How could you not make a big deal? And now and now you're talking on a girlfriend wearing nothing but a broad and underwear under her Canada Goose jacket. You know you're right. I should probably calm down. You know why. Guys, let me tell you something young, and I'm gonna keep it between just three of us. Your boy over here scored big time over break, not one, not too but three times. Oh yeah, I scored three times, Trish, and I got it on three times over the break three times. Now, why do you think that was? Because one way I had a kick off the vacation the right way. So we did it. Then, then we did it midwek we were bored and nothing else to do with kids are sleeping, and then we put out again. Then we bored listen, and then we were cuffed. We cuffed again. On New Year's Day. I said, listen, we gotta start two thousand seventeen off the right way, So why don't we cuff now and then we'll see what happens On New Year's Day. We coughed again, and then now we think that maybe two thousand seventeen is gonna be coughing season. Stupid question. Yeah, is this what you have to look forward to when you get married, the fact the day that you get laid, Because I mean, that's just supposed to be part of the relationship. It shouldn't be like a special added feature. And I guess that's what happens when you have matt. When you get married and have kids, the fact that you get laid is like a big deal. Weal freak has been married current, so I'm like that, Come on, is is it better? Did you have a lot of sex over the weekend or what? No? None? How about over the entire break? Johny? Sex? Yeah? How much I had? I had more than three. I had as many as you with the same person. But one day, one day? Yeah, why that's pretty great. Just got it all right there? Yeah, yeah, I wasn't bored. Yeah, okay that there were no expectations. You know, sometimes it's better when there were no expectations. What about scare? How about yourself over the break? How many times I did? I think it was once? Just once, just once, but it was it was New Year's Day, I am, I am married, and I did three times in a breaking Yeah, I forget I'd start the new year off right. Hey, bald freak, give me some sex music, you know, sex music A bound your keys trying to make the music with his mouth. Yeah, you can't do what your keyboard and your bed. You always got boom boom boom boom, boom, boom. Come on, give me something there you go? Come on, baby, yeah, what if I get home if I give you this? Come on? That's right, that's yeah. Yeah. This is a sound from greg Te's bedroom, right for ye that's good? Yeah yeah, babe out you know how to do it all right? Bring all day? Oh oh oh, that's what I told to get the hell out of here. Let's go. I'm telling you, I don't know what that's right, I am pay come on, let's get it home. No other reason in the world to hook up. We had nothing to do. We had nothing else better to do. Nothing's on death flixs. All the gifts were written. We're all wrapped already. He was great. Did you shower up first? At least? No? Not what You've been married as long as I yeah, you don't take a shower. Listen. I'm telling you, guys, you just get up and just do it. I'm telling you real. Let's do it all right, listen. We want to know from you all, fairheads. In the past week. How many times have you gotten lucky with your lurg in the past week? That's all you're young, we want's right? If you've been sleeping, if you're coughing when you're young, you're coughing with your lurg We want to know in the past week how many times you were coughing with your love one. I'm about to get lucky right now, you know. Yeah, time for you to pay up. I thought that was over. It is over. I ended it the big reveal for the very first time in the f f oul, the very first time in the Affair Show history, our very first time. Scary Jones is the winner of the off Fair Show Football pick. That's right, And I predicted I would win in the beginning of this samp thing. And here we are at the very we missed like five weeks. What about the five weeks that we missed? What have we missed? What do we miss? What do we We missed a couple of weeks during the season, and then we missed the last two weeks because we weren't. You couldn't catch me in the last two weeks. There's no way you listen. You could trying back out of it all you want, But what's fairst fair Scary? We all threw in a hunter box, Scary Wains. You gotta pay up, you gotta give my hunter bocks and I gotta gi the official standards here. Uh Gregg t coming in last place at eight with eighteen and seventeen, I don't know what called freak at twenty wins and fifteen losses? You know what him an extra an extra win because he's been complaining about wins. He was one and fifteen. Wait, look at sitting a top first place here at twenty four and eleven. Yep, I don't think you're twenty one and fifteen beats that. It takes a lot for me to to admit the scaries, right, but I have to be honest. Scares right in a fractured season? He weren't he did? How was it a fractured because we missed like five weeks and this was missed those we're talking about how many weeks are there in a season? Seventeen seventeen. We picked three games a week. Yeah, there was something that means we should have picked. Yeah, but there was time for one games total. We run a business trick five games, bro, what about the other sixteen games? You can be all you want, you all the Hunter bucks. I will bring my money, but into the week I will pay up. By Thursday, I will give Scary the Hunter bucks tho it was a football team and I missed sixteen games. Understandings I went and I was in second place, I'd be like, what about those last sixteen games? I love how the off fair heads love you, but all you do is complaining, seriously, did you make it do in your type? The first day on this podcasts, there's so much to complain about that could take up a whole podcast. I'm like, what else? What do you want to complain about? It? Out? You still haven't let me pick a song for the podcast. You were going to pick a song, still have two thousand seventeen, still haven't let me pick a song? All right? You know what I'm gonna write this stun guy. The off airheads chimed in on it. You don't care, keep playing whatever the hell you want. You just come in and you pick whatever you want? What else? What else? Freaking what else? Eh? I'm I'm good. I'm drying down there. There's podcast spots on Bull Freak's gass. Listen. Where's my money? Yeah? Where's my money for the sponsorship that I got? What that's that scares the part? Well? There you I'm gonna keep the air my grievances let's go as we cut a deal. Hold on, we cut a deal. We have friendship Cottage cheese coming up here in a little But what about what about the sponsor that we already had? Where's my where's my cut? Actually, I'm going down the sales team right now and see what's going up with that. I don't we didn't get paid on that either. All right, that's fine. Where's Marissa Tomay, she's gonna be on the podcast. Marissa told me, I'm writing down Ron James. We never got him, le Bron James, right, Bill Murray never came up, Lebron James and Bill Murray. No, Bill Murray, no Lebron James. I'm writing it down, Merissa Tolmay. And you didn't let me pick the movie Suzuki. You haven't played movie Suzuki. Want to stop the movie suit of the nobody? Nobody is going to be listening to movie Suzuki. Murphy's the difference to some cheese with that wine? Whatever? Yeah, what did you guys think about how tragic two six teen ended up with everybody dying like that on Christmas Day? To have James Michael, let me tell you that went over like a lead balloon. I decided to break the George Michael news as it was happening. I got an alert from TM. Yeah, yeah, we were there. It was Christmas afternoon, and I had my entire family at the table, and all of a sudden, George Michael text comes in. I'm like, oh my god, you guys. Right in the middle of dinner, George Michael died. And I swear to god. You know what was playing in the background MS Last Christmas Christmas music on George Christma. No, I don't want to play Last Christmas Faith. Yeah, that's right, give me monkeys. I think that's the song we gonna play today this. Oh yeah, you gonna mix it up. That's you're gonna be flexible. No, that's not my choice. That should have just been at choice, just che you were good morning show producers, you just podcast producers, then you would have you would have picked for Greg T and Trish we should play That's a great, A good joke on Christmas? Was this you know what? You never know? Today gone tomorrow? Like that where you whom Gonda more? How about last Christmas? It really was what the last? The guy from RAM still alive, though his career is what's his name? And Andrew Rich Andrew. It's just a song we wanted to play when Jordan Michael triput for it. It's just a song I want great guy going to see. Yeah that's good. Yeah, you're breaking out really song? Oh oh oh yeah, you're a baby all right? Now bringing all that drink? Oh who like out on how to do it? All right? Now? Bring all that on the side of the road week a little bit last Yeah, yeah, you told how to do it our right, bring over that on the bore and then you retired. He's my favorite church. Yeah, if I could touch it. Oh yeah, that's good. Yeah, that's ow to go that right now? Bring on about the one of the girls on our show on the morning show. Yeah, I haven't told him like a god, oh my god, like a sexy Why not do it? Will you tell me? You guys being stuffed the church b everybody with us this kind of happen. One of my questions is this, though, who do you think in two thousand seventeen, what celebrity do you think it's gonna die this year? Come on, man, come on, why do you want to start off on a negative? All I know is like when the first celebrity dies in seventeen, everybody's just gonna have that knee jerk reaction. Go here we go again. I'll tell you people are starting with the memes of of Dabney Coleman because he turned eighty five today. Okay, Nicole, is he still alive? There you go. Can't we come up with five celebrities each that we think you're gonna kick the bucket to the way? Your answer cannot be Betty White because it's fine, too obvious. All right, it's enough already kind of check one of you guys on my list. That's fine. If you want to put it on, it's fine. That would be a weird next day, right, actually happened? Could you imagine? Why don't we come up with a list that's pretty do it by tomorrow? Can we do it by tomorrow? Five celebrities, but celebrities. It's like a deadpool, right, it's like a deadpool exactly, Let's do one. I had one of the real rules about a deadpool. Well, it's gotta be it's gotta be a celebrity. Okay, sports figure, television film, basically like a public figure. Are you running? You run it? You want me to run the Deadpool. You run the Deadpool paying me for this one? Well? I don't know what what what's the rules? Tell me? What are the rules? This is such a morose thing. I mean, do we really want to do this? Absolutely? This is fun. Should we get some maybe some off fairheads want to know? You can always email us at the off fair Show at gmail dot com or tweet us at the off fair Show. I like this your ideas for I see, I would rather go back to the sex conversation. Wait, somebody dies, then they get some free cream cheese. We're going to do that, right. No, let's make it scary. Maybe you're at to something. Let's let's open it up to some of the off fairheads and we'll ask them to participate. If they would like to be a part of the Deadpool, they're more than welcome. We'll pick how many off their heads you want to pick? Uh, let's pick. We can't do more three three thre managing. If they pick somebody who dies in the Deadpool and they get a year supply cottage chief, No, we gotta give him something good. We could give them. We can give them three hundred dollars and ball Freak won't pay. No, you gotta pay. You give them gotta do money. We gotta they gotta pay, we gotta pay. I still have those gift cards from from Mos Moses Southwest. The whole didn't happen. On a second, I get my free gift card to the most. We're gonna take a little Lemon Louren out. Okay, yeah, that was part of the deal. Part of the deal way back. You were supposed to listen to like episode, you were supposed to orchestrate that. Okay, here's the thing. I told you. I had a hundred dollars Most South grill gets talk cards. Yeah, guess what. They still exist. They're still in my drawer at home, and they're still waiting for you. But you never took her out on the date. You did not. I don't how am I supposed to take a girl who I've never met. That's Litsen you've talked to on the phone, and we had we could have set it up. We absolutely and now I will even tell you this much. Have you noticed Lulu Lemon Lauren. She's on our Twitter now. She's now an official everything. No, she is. You can reach out to her now. She actually tweeted one you want to go out to most Haven at Lulu? What's that at Lulu? Lemon Lawrence? I forget her actual Twitter. I don't know. She's still an egg by the way, she needs to put up a hot picture of I'll give you that, okay, granted, she'll be taking egg on Twitter. I'll give you egg. You just stopped. It's oh my god, it's panasonic Pete. What's going on in here? It's my that's my cue to leave. I don't know what. Only one ball guy in the room at a time. Everybody music was Panasonic Pete? Anymore? How many times you have some music? Come on? It's the first show two seventeen, George Lemont. Don't give us something's okay? What's good music? Hey, Pete? Give me your favorite band of all time? Iron Maiden, Iron made by Black Iron Man, by Black sabb song, what do you like? I need a theme song like I think Bald Freak is onto something. You need? This song right here here was something good? So that every time Pantasonic peak comes in the guy's own music. Yes, this is the song right here, but it's a little stuff. Now when he walks in time, that's good. Pantasonic irons or the sad man. Now we too, man? Now can we just can we resolve that you do not want to be called Panasonic Pete anymore? Absolutely? How many times? Like he hates this? He yes, because the ordience knows him that they're not gonna be able to remember another name, and but that's who he is. I like this telling you not want to be called Panasonic Pa. It's too late. It's too late, it goes Look right, why why are you so excited today because it's day one? We're back or first show? Times over the break? Yeah, three times? Three times, dude, I'm like the man, I'm like alleged, like for like three weeks. No, we're back one one week, that's it. One week we were gone one week, well a little bit. Yeah, three times in a week, I am alleged. Scary does that in a night? He really did it once over break? Yeah, I was kind of a dismal showing. Yeah. Yeah, he was very busy. I was very busy, including the fact that I went to a c and I wanted to bring this up to all you guys and Pete should chime in on this. So somebody's of mine went, you know, we're all partying for someone's birthday. You know, you take a guy. One of the guys out for the birthday went down, hung out at the Golden Nugget, went to this place, Vick and Anthony Steakhouse, not a sponsor. We just decided to hang out and grab some food. Right then we're gonna go over to the Borghanta, go to the bad go to some do some like, you know, gambling his party and no gambling. Then partying at their club, Premier Music. You want whatever you guys party to Calvin Harris, I don't know, like crazy club music. That's what you party. Sorry, listen when you get the music. I got a gift for Panasana Pete for the holidays. You get a second. So here's what happens. Let me tell my story. In the meantime, well, Greg, he's trying to show everybody up. So we bring and the kid's name is Pete. You go gambling, so in the morning he started doing shots, started drinking by eleven o'clock, doing shots, gambling. You're drinking, going crazy. Then we go to dinner at the steakhouse. Halfway through dinner, the guy's passing out in his mashed potatoes. He's like starting to get all wobbly and wobbly and stuff like that. Next thing, you know, two guys had to literally grabbed him by each arm, saying, Pete's gotta go to bed. He's done. It was eight o'clock. We were in the middle of dinner and Pete it's his birthday. It's his birthday. Pete leaves his own birthday party. Now fast forward two hours later, we're in the club. It's like ten thirty eleven o'clock. We're sitting there. All of a sudden, the bottle service where you just come by with the sparklers, all that stuff. The loves. The whole day was playing around Pete, the freaking guy. He doesn't show up to his own birthday, passed out in a pool of vomit in his be in his room. It's like his first birthday. So the guys again his thirties, he couldn't hold his liquor. But the point is, does the show must go on? I felt like it was kind of anti climactic and pointless because we're sitting there at the club for Pete's birthday. The whole day and the whole week was planning around Pete and the freaking guy passes out at dinner time. So have you is that? Have you ever missed your own birthday before? It's a great question. You know what it happens once you did. What can you tell us about that vegast birthday? What happened there? Uh had a bunch of stuff planned and the night before we ran into Kevin James. Oh night Kevin with Kevin James, Kevin k Wait And the night of my birthday was the Sugar Shane Mosley fight, big fight in Vegas. And it was such a long arduous day that when it came to like the good stuff, I was done. Yeah, Kevin James though, right right, But I also blamed that I'm being ford. But you also you all your friends partied around you. They didn't give a ship. They were just like they signed my name at the Trystan Win because it was all on my room, and then they signed that you were passed out. Didn't enjoy any of this. Left. My guy at the wind gave me like a whole party and I wasn't there. Come on, alcohol has affected somebody. Where you've you've slept through something passed. What about you both forgiver miss your own birthday. No, never, never, never, what about you? About you? I have passed out just through New Year's Eve. I've missed it completely. You've missed New Year's Eve, not your birthday. Then there was one time where I was I was a senior in college and we had got to we got to Rutgers University to go party, and I got so left up that I completely missed New Year's I ended up passing out underneath their pool table in the big room and vomit all over me. And I woke up the next morning and I had no idea, and it was New Year's Day. I had no clue what was going on. Oh it was horrible. It really was a terrible showing, A terrible showing that I've been at Rutgers University. The second, that's nice, good stuff. Now what about know? What about? What about this gift you gotta give? Here? What's going on here? Listen? I know that you youngs are a bunch of idiots, and you guys cannot, you know, give a gift where a gift is due. But patisonic Pete has been there for us the whole entire year. So I went out, and you know what, I've golf with you. Patisona pete. We've hung before, so I said, you know what a little gifts, just a little something. So patisona Pete, this gift is for you. Wow. Okay, it's a bag on holiday music music, a bag of candy, you know, Christmas music, some Christmas music. Come on, okay, hold on it. I know Christmas is past, but I'm just saying, you gotta tell him what it is. It's a cigar holder for my golf bag. How about that, or or the or you go to the car or the car, or I could put it on the cart. This is phenomenal. There you go. That's gift number one. It is the cigar clip that goes on your bag or the cart that will hold your cigar. Oh, he said, wow. Gift number two even better. Yeahs with cigars in it. Come on, tell the points what it is. This is a it looks like it's almost like crocodile. That's right, type cigar three cigar holder, that's right, leather leather holders. So when I travel, I've got my cigars with me. It's got a cutter in it. How about that? And then when you open it up, it's got three of greg T's famous Washton cigars. That's right Ashen vsg Wizard. You know. But now I feel like a complete ship had because I didn't by retail. As much as I appreciate this, I'm not about kids. Retail value on each cigars. See, now we're gonna get into retail value. You gotta tell the price on that is seventeen dollars a cigar. You never say retail value when you get some. I'm gonna I'm gonna make sure Scary never gets out of the hole. You've done himself. I got you seventeen dollars cigars on each. Then the cigar holder was thirty five dollars plus the cutter was ted. Look not to mention the actual cigar clip. That's like another thirty bucks right there. We're talking over fails to tell everybody is that he got the whole damn thing for free and he's red gifting not did not listen. It doesn't matter. I just had anyone tell you the retail value. What he does he tells all time, he drops names, He duped, drops behind I mean, you know, to show off you like peacocking. Right now, this is fabulous. Come on, Merry Christmas. I've got. I'm gonna tell you the real DEALT Marry Christmas, Merry Christmas to you. But I'm gonna have to say thank you to Trish is behind this? I did that, that's me. I don't know she ordered it, maybe she, but I told her what to order. I feel like a heel right now because I didn't get you anything. Pete. We're pretty damn close, I know, but but I'm not gives. I'm about I'm about love, all right, Okay, Yeah, you think you're so smart. Well, of course, because you're some stupid young you didn't get him a gift. All you do is take, take, take, You never give back, you never give that. Well, surprise what I've been acting all along, Pete. I did get to a gift for episode one hundred. I have something for you for episode one hundred, um um, something that GRETTI cannot deliver. It's something money cannot buy it. It's a personal experience. Wait wait, money can't buy no retail value. Retail value, it has intrinsic value. Intrinsic yeah, I mean, why did you get him? You got it? First of all, you can't plan to get the guy a gift and say you got him a gift. I got him again. You didn't get him a gift. He it's the best gift of that. It's the return of Stasi from vander Pup, and you're gonna get to meet and hang out with her and interview her with us again again here in the original times hurt for I think what I'm gonna do because these are two of the greatest gifts I've ever gotten. I think me and Stasi you're gonna smoke cigars. That is episode one. That's low man. You can't take credit for that, Pete. That's not what he did. Now, what's better cigars? He or another hang? That is such a blow strong He booked two already. He's hearing Jones for the wind Lady Jane's such We'll see you tomorrow is due Bi later, Just watch me now. I guess it's just last