The Off-Air Show - 'Fashion and Finding Love' - Ep.52

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Speaker 1: Elvis Durrand presents It's just off air shows Scary Jones and Greg te episode number fifty two. Yeah, it's Scary a Loo with Greg Tea and the bald freak right, Like Greg Tea can make that lookout sound while he's holding his big fat head in his hand at the same time. It's eating professional. It's called that. For twenty two years of radio, you understand how to throw on the show. You know. He says that he just didn't on the show, say he just you know, he just you know how to do it, even throwing up on the show for a long time. That's right, you just know how to do it. You know. I was going to hit the puke sound effect, but why do we want to start on a puke? You have that ready. I always get the ready the baby baby puke, not puke because baby puke is cute, regular pure, not so cute. What are you doing over there? You guys read any magazines any kind of like Upscale Men's Young Men's Magazine. Uh yeah, I used to use read Details, but I think, okay, right, but that's what I'm saying. Like magazines like that, like Details or Men's Fitness, New Yorker, New Yorker, Do you like it? What do you like about New Yorker? For real? Just like the articles? All right? I mean, listen, I think there's I do think there's a point to that. Maybe you know, you know, magazines have seen their day. They're kind of on their way out. I get it. Um, I happen to like Esquire. I like Esquire because I like some of the fashion pictures. Uh, there's a couple of articles in there I like, But I do like their their trending fashion. So as I was sitting here, I was just I wasn't everything for fashion? What do you ever fashion? David Bowie? Fashion? That David Bowie? Why don't we doing starting with because he's a legend, Can you just give me some fashion music? Give me something for fashion? How about because he's a legend. I mean, you can't debate him on the legendian the left? What you got until the right? Then me some fashion? There you go this? Yeah there is all right. So I'll tell you a story while we hear some fact kicks in. Might take a while. Yeah, come on, all right. So as I'm a I'm thunding through Esquire Magazine having to notice Ronnie's gotta watch on a sandwich. I really do. Like we talked about my watch before, it's not my iPhone in my pocket. The thing is that the men's fashion has stepped it up, and there's a lot going on. And now if you're getting out of the summer and you're heading into the fall season, right, and let's face it, you want to start looking about thinking about what am I gonna be wearing for the fall? Right? And men want to be in fashion just like women. The answer to that question for me is what I wore lost last of all. No, you see, that's the mistake that most men are making. That's exactly mistakes I've been by women for this, Like you have to change your wardrobe like every one to two years. So what are you doing with all the clothes that you have that's still fit? You're either gonna wear donate them? You know, tax right off him away? What you think money grows on trees? For me, I understand that we'll keep a couple of things, but you have to make it better. The point that I'm trying to get you is this, it is all about a fashion and the thing is that's real, mean, step it up all the time, and then you should do the same thing. And there's a lot of good things. And watches are in whether or not you want to actually look at your wrist and look at the watch, look at your time. You keep it there as jewelry, and there's some really cool ones. Rolex has gotten a whole new line now for it's Tiffany and Company. But better than that, this cool, brand new line of shoes are called Pods. You ever heard of Todd's. Yes, I have very very cool shoes. Here's the problem. Here's the problems. I'm just gonna stop this. Why I don't believe I do believe in fashion, But here's here's why. Tell me, because because I'm making a point. You know, you know the pregnant pause people is a dramatic moment in the podast moment and then you'll go back to the music. Yeah, I'll go back. I don't know he's gonna go back, go back to it. Here's the problem. What is the problem most of America? And I would go almost go so far as to say, is everyone on this podcast, listen to this podcast, likes to look through them through the pictures right in these magazines or online whatever I'm feeling it, but it's part of a fantasy world for them. It's not reality. They can't afford it, can't people can't make ends meet. If you want to dress like the guys in those pictures, you have to spend like two thousand dollars perst season. It is absolutely good point. And I know you're going with this, so you know what, I'll sell you that part of my friends. But who the fuck that kind of money? Well, you know, the Alvis Durands of the world. So what do you like about you? That? Okay? Okay, and that's fair Scared, I think that you're making up a really good point. Do you guys really just like the first topic we've ever talked about on the Affair Show? Yeah, I like. And you know why, you know why, because we didn't come in here with an agenda relaxed, relaxed. Okay. So I want to agree with you that you cannot afford it, but you can take note mental note of what you're seeing in some of these magazines and then try to go to the stores that you can't afford, close in and put an outfit together that looks very similar. You're not gonna do, You're not gonna accomplish that because the people and the clothes in these magazines the same way the guys are unattainable models. The clothing is the same way. You're not gonna get the same quality. You're not gonna get the same look as you are in these fashion magazines. Okay, fair enough again again to say so now you're going. Now you're stepping it up and saying that fashion also rolls in to your body in the fitness and how you look. Correct, Okay, and none of us are perfect. You are absolutely correct. I mean this kid, I'm telling you, bal freak dude, scary is on point tonight. But you're right. Here's the thing though, But what about why wait till let's say New Year's Eve, our New Year's Day to roll out this goal? Why not roll out this goal coming out of the summer, going into the fall, saying I want a certain look, to go for that look, and it is time for men to step it up and look at themselves in the mirror and get themselves healthy and look good. Yeah that's great. Again, it looks I'm already doing all this, Gregg, what do you want from me? Yeah? This guy's a freaking marathon on top. Both of you are. But but look at look at bald freak. Bald freaks gets a second and third glances everywhere from all the ladies. That's true. Oh yeah, Oh, I didn't even tell you what what Sam said downstairs? Oh, Sam, from our sales team, she showed me. She no, no, she sent me a screenshot of a text message that her cousin put out there. Her cousin said, who screenshot at our fiftieth anniversary picture with the three of us? Screenshot at us still and then and then she sent it to Sam, her cousin downstairs, Sam and sales person, and she said, who's the guy on the left? Yum yum, give me some? And then Sam replied back to her, I saw that. She showed me the text message to Sam replied back to her cousin, that's bald freak. RANI give me some, give me give me some box, Give me some box, give me some young young give us up good on man. Yum yum yum yum yum. You know. And then and I said, so, I figured I would do a little snooping in your behalf. I said, oh, what does your cousin look like? And when she pulled up her Facebook and her Instagram and agents working for me Ron she's she's a ten You know what, guys host to affair show right now, and you think that balla freak? Is young young? Gimme some? Why don't you email us at the office dot com and also you can tweet us at the offair show at gmail dot com hashtag young young gimme some? Is it because I've turned my affit over in the past two years? Because I gotta say, this shirt is about ten years old. I'm probably you're not asking for the questions about this put in front of you. I appreciate that, you know, I don't know. So she was super hot? Tell me more. Trying to set you up with somebody, but you just you don't want to be set up. Why won't say you want to be set up? I'm just saying, you know, like it doesn't need to be the prevalent topic of conversation. How many how many sundays you're gonna sit home, I'm watching like late night on Cinemax. I'm doing stuff. Bro, Well, here I'm happy. I wasn't been a happy single guy over the rolling round a tinder. Let's go man, I'm barely on that thing here, divorced three times, get back into four yesterday today, Here's what happened. I'm sorry as I followed ignore him, I said, followed up for you about the ten about and then she goes, uh, she was she has a boyfriend. Yeah, well that's Sam's got a boyfriend. Sam's no, Sam's cousin, Sam's cousin. But Sam's available. Even it wasn't Sambody should be telling Sam's boyfriend about it wasn't. It wasn't Sam. It wasn't Sam Sam who said give me something. It was her cousin. I think starting and we'll let you live out the rest of the summer. But there's no reason why when we get back in September after our last vacation, that we don't start the the the hunt for your next woman. I thought you've already started it, apparently did. I wanted to set up with Lulu Lemon Laura, but I didn't work out because you're little too older for her. Lulu le Laura barely like two years older than her. But that's I think that Lulu Lemon Lauren is available, and I think that she is right for the takings from either Chris Manzo or you okay with the takings more than one. Here's the things. Great tea sets it up like it's like a bear season or deer season. Here was some max maker, he was some matchmaker. Match give me a matchmaker from Fridler on the roof, match making, match maker, make me a much by a catch matchmaker. But you know, well I appreciate all this. Yes, I don't know. I don't know how to absorb this. I'm not you scary you know me for a long time. I'm not used to being a ladies man like the girl seven times already seven times. You know I gotta I gotta tell you all free by joining this podcast, you just you up the anti. It's the podcast. Is the podcast, it's not Madeker found a husband for you. Yes, somebody has to arrange the matches. Young people can't decide these things themselves. I didn't think to play make me a match. I'm here finding me snatch. I will make up make up. I'm sorry, it was just it was right. The thing you don't need a toller that that had to have lowered your lower your score with women like a thousand points. Well maybe I need that with all this use that foul word. You listen, you don't need a toddler Okay, you're a good looking Yeah. The thing is, you just need a regular looking lug just wants that fun and wants to go out somebody roughly within your age. Now, that guy right over there, you see that guy over there, that's that's Brad Harden. Oh, that's right, he's one of the heads of our company. Anyway. Ye anyway, did you hear my snatch comment before what I was saying about that? Anyway, you don't you don't need a toller alerg. You're leading a regular looking lerg because you're looking at you're good looking young. I don't care. I'm not showing. You want somebody who have similar interests with into fitness, like some crazy music. Yes, give her, give a little taste of music Ronnie likes. Come on, ball free, come on, give her the music you want. You want Ronnie's music on the radiohead or nine inch now, like, Okay, I'm gonna give a little nine a little bit, yeah, a little this. This is what what ball freak likes. Give him something, Yeah, give me closer. That's that's that's appropriate, right, right, right, it's that's in the demo you got people recognized the song Scary Jones. Absolutely right, take the picture for going over. All right, right now we're at We're at ball Freaks place right now, Yeah, is kind of dark, and I'll give this. You got a really cool apartment. You've got a real cool apartment. I do have a really cool look. I love like the old school feeling of your apartment. It's really cool. Come over. You got your ball freaking the back and he's got his Bond Bob Bond music. He bought the box out not us box sound effect. Giver to me radio. We're gonna take the picture of Ball Freaks apartment. This sing may or may not be on in my aparm and at various times a day and night. Right right, I gotta I got a nice cute little white dog. You got a little talk apart me. You gotta talk parking the background man all way from go on list next ball, say right, and he's completely freaking completing for breaking you are right, completely, I'm open minded. I'm about to find the guy a barking dog. Come on, we'll shut it off at the same time. Bolting do mate, go do your business. Let's go do your business. Don't need that bossom and he likes to go running, right, I want to train from the back of the monk, right, and then we got excuse me, dude, that's the kind of girl you need that they're all lining up for that. That's the lord you're looking for. Bro. You know, I think my biggest asset is that I am a respectful gentleman. I'll give me that too, would you give them respectful gentleman? I do think so. But I also think that you are also desperate for love. He's get your desperate. I do agree. You're and you're a stage five clinger, you know from wedding wedding crashers, the age five clinger. You know, you know what clinger are not Vince Volumes that Vince wanted the movie you want to be throwing out to endorse me. You fall in love in like ten seconds now you could there have been there's some women are into that, but only other stage five clingers, and it's hard to find that. You know, there have been a few instances of that. I would agree, but especially now. Yeah, you're so desperate to have to have a woman like full time, like the in a relationship you know what that used to be true. But I've been single for like over two years now, and I think I've like put a harness on my passion, all right, a little bit. I mean it's you can't change that about yourself completely, but you know you should mature a little bit and learn from your mistakes. And you don't And you like sports, but you really don't follow sports all the time, like you kind of a game on in the background, but it's really not a big deal to not a nut baseball. I love baseball in college basketball and your big so so does a woman have to have those traits and like sports? Like Duke, you're big Duke, you love the dude. They don't have to love everything I love. But if there are a couple of things that overlap, of course, you know that similar interest is a big deal or anything. The long walks on the beach holding about me, Well, I'm just I'm just curious, Like, okay, so if your life, if your life was a movie, me, yeah, what would it? What would it be? Dude? Mind's a little bit crazy. I mean, I like more like, you know, what's the name of what's the name of the film for me? For I don't even know for me. For Ronnie, though we're talking iron I, I don't know. For me, it's different. I'm I'm more like independent movies, you know. I like that kind of stuff, gritty. I like gritty, like sitting. Give me a title. I'm on Sanderson movie. I'm an Eternal Sunshine to the Spotless Mind. I love that movie. By the way, great movie. Walt Freak is into movies. He knows everything about movies, like bald Freak is The Hunt for Head in October? That's your film, The Hunt for Head in October. I'm just saying, so, I think it's a Tember maybe in Sometimes we start looking for a girl for you what, Why do I need you two clowns to find me a girl? I think scary? And I know we know women really well. We know the kind you like. Yeah, we know the kind you like. We've been with many women, many many men know the kind I like to and you know I'll find one. Don't worry. Don't worry, guys. So anyway, it's like the end of the Ellen Show, if you know, we should really throw it out to the Affair Show listeners. There's us like that. You guys want to hear if there's anything that you guys want to hear from yourselves A big question. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So just you know, why don't you drop us an email at the all Fair Show at gmail dot com or even hit us up on Twitter. I do a fair show at gmail dot com. So it's left over to xt message from this morning is kind of bugging me. It's been sitting here. You know, every every day we we when we do with the Big Show, we always have a text message. You can always text us there and and and and then at the end of the show, people stop texting. So the last text cent are on the screen sit there for like twenty four hours because the show is over. So one of the last texts that came in this morning, which I have to address because it was my comment that probably prompted them to write this, was who the hell refrigerates peanut butter? Now Here this morning, I did say that I found a simple solution to a widespread international problem, and that was the fact that if you you know, usually when your peanut butter is hard and it's in the refrigerator, what happens to it? It breaks the bread and rips the bread to shreds, right right, So I said, the best way to do it now is to take the bread. Put your bread in the freezer, take the two slices out of the freezer. Fresh out the freezer. Then you take the refrigerator peanut butter. Take down the refrigerator and spread the peanut butter. The bread will not break. I like that. I do. Throw the whole thing in the microwave, and then it comes out, and then you put the jelly on, and now you have a warm peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Well free, give us some peanut butter and jelly music, bore free. Come on, no, no, no, no, no no, come on, ball freak. I've got something better. He's gonna play a peanut butter jelly times peanut butter. Remember you're going to a topic without peanut butter and jelly. Do you want peanut butter jelly time? Come do it? What are you gonna play? What are you gonna play? I was just gonna start singing a song. What are you gonna play? What are you gonna What are you gonna play? I'll tell you what I was gonna play? What are you? Bold? Freak knows me way too well, peanut butter jelly till wait, don't put it in the freeze. Don't put it in the freeze, don't put on the freezer, don't cut on the freeze, don't put it in, don't put it in a peanut jelly. Come on, come on, pean about to tell you in a baseball back like, Okay, so you refrigerate peanut butter, don't know. I refrigeraty peanut butter, but I don't make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I use him in protein ship. Yeah. I never thought about it, but I get now that you explained it. I love the idea. Do you but do you refrigerate your peanut butter? No? I don't know refrigeration, but I'm going to I'm going to forget it all my condiments too. Doesn't it say on the jar to refrigerate after opening? Is? I don't think? I think peanubody just leave it right there in the cupboard or even after you open it, though usually it says on the label after after opening, please refrigerate, Yeah, refrigerator after opening it? Catch up, Yes, but not peanut butter. The peanut butter can just sit right there in the cab. Did you hear what people are saying this morning? What Elvis said it to He said, he goes, butter does not have to be refrigerated. Really, you can't. You don't have to refrigerate butter, Yes, you do. It'll melt everywhere. It becomes disgusting. Really, he said, you should try it over night. Take go home. Yeah, take the butter out of out of the refrigerator. Right then it becomes like it's gonna be like watery. No, it does not that. That's when it melts. That's if you heat it up. But apparently room temperature butter stays as a solid. I never heard of that in my whole entire life. You do not have to say. In Europe they barely refrigerate butter. They doesn't have to be refrigerated never ever, Ever, my whole entire life, I've ever heard that ever. Again, But I'm kind of offended that that they that this person, like, who the hell refrigerates peanut butter? Like you don't refrigerate peanut butter. All right, So you know what if you drop us a note of what you guys think at the fair show, take your butter out of the refrigerator today, I do make like, if I make a grilled cheese sandwich, I need butter's in the refrigerator. It's in the refrigerator. And absolutely when you're making your peanut butter and jelly sandwich, do you uh, how do you do that? Do you do? You? Do you cut it in half? Which way? I don't. I don't make peanut butter and jelly when you make your grilled cheese, just work with me, work work with well, come on, let's be specific here, Okay, when you're making a freaking sandwich on slice? Yeah, I cut it diagonally diagonal, Yeah, what about you? I like the diagonal. Sometimes I go straight through the middle, and I used to do that, but I think diagonal makes it a little look a little bit more delicious, And that makes noos delicious that diagonally, which looks it's cut saucleas trying. Then you can pick and then then your mouth is watering for it, I'm telling you. Then you eat from the corner, and I think it's good like that. It looks better than you can cram more in your mouth when you you can cram more in your mouth when it's a triangle, because you can put the tip in. Cramming in the mouth. Come on, ball, for give me a cramming in your mouth. You've got something for cramming in your mouth? Ball freaking it doesn't get all your mouth? You give me a cramming in your mouth? Come on, man, where's my where's my volume? Put in your put it in your mouth? You wanted to play that? Give me something. I think we'd be yanked off the off the air, off the air. Phil cramming in the mouth, cramming in the mouth, cramming in your mouth, cramming in your mouth. You ever, yeah, your mouth? You can? Can? You prefer crunchy peanut butter creamy? You know I like creamy better than crunch. You like crunch You have a crunchy guy. Hey, you ever speared peanut butter on your girlfriend and try to lick it off of her? No? Really, I've never into the food frenzy. Obviously, you can't have a peanut aug first of all, I mean just fetishes. Yeah, absolutely, I'll not with some not not with Trish, no, but without the girls. Yeah, I've taken recently all kinds of food is smeared all over their bodies and that's a very high school experiment. Cherry's ice cream, whipped cream, peanut butter tine. You've never eaten food off a people's body, has taken the foot half, but peanut's away from where it should be there. Well no, but I'm telling you, you're you're you're complicating a beautiful situation you never had. You never dipped your finger in, never dipped your finger in apple sauce and feed it to your loved one. I love the one. Who do you mean like my grandfather? Can grandpa? Really? You never like took grapes and put grapes over like your privates and had somebody eat the grapes off of it? No? Oh, come on, not done that? Done other things that come on? I'm the kinky one. You gotta get you gotta get some food, and you gotta eat food off your girlfriend. What's the weirdest food? Grapes? How is it? What's the weirdest food that you've put on your body or a significant other's body? Fruit? Roll ups? Fruit roll ups? You? Yeah, you know, here's some music for that fruit. You're rolling around your thing? No, no, no, you're laying over the partner. You paint the fruit rolls. Absolutely. Yes. Next thing you're gonna tell me is sushi. No. I have never done fish. No. Put a little soy sauce, I scream whipped cream, chocolate, Eminem's freak. You know what, Maybe that's what you should do. Do some chips and guak. Yeah, you put some guak in her belly button, and just to take a find me a girl for the fall so I can eat guacamole out of our belly buttons. I shall have to be to tacos. Give me some Talco music. There was some time music. Give me tat on the can't talk. Next time you got a Mexican girlfriend, you do that. If she had two belly buttons, you could put one for salsa. I gotta I got a place for SUSA. You better doesn't come right now. You better not share that with you. Gotta listen, all right right, I'm telling you right now, you gotta find some good food to eat off somebody's body. It's delicious when you've done like the stereotypical chocolate syrup cream. That's again, that's okay, the ice cube. I mean having the way. He didn't do it yesterday, but I've done it in the past. Have you noticed the ice cubes like they just take sensation away. It top has the opposite of fact, and then it's melt sing and it rolls off the person's body on your bed. It looks better on paper than it does right, ice is ices car. I don't want to see it on the paper. I want to see that in my mind or anything. You gotta get some good food. Go food shopping and go get some good stuff, says some some cherries and strawberries. Gotta find a woman first. That's why I'm starting in September. Man, get a banana, banana, slice up some bananas, put all over them, and eat the banana and I'll never go hungry. You gotta make you gotta make a Sunday out of your girlfriend. You gotta eat a Sunday off of her body. I'm telling you, man, that's not here. I'm taking notes. Yeah you got you got ice cream? Man, you got the candy man? Roll up? Did they still make roll up? Yeah? Set it off your person friend and then walk And do I have to make the guacam only myself? Dude, No, it don't. It's gonna be discussing you throw it over. They don't want a guawk on the girlfriend. I got yeah, fifty cent yeah. Example back at the beginning of here that I thought you're gonna play back. I was excited, Uh yeah, up yeah, liken you to the candy show. I loved the good violation exactly good. Stop going to you greet around my private parts. Lolli, LOLLI just laving your way. You do, how do you want it? You're gonna back that thing up, push it up, push you up, bad and temperature rising. Okay, just go to the next level dance floor, jam back. How does the tea kettle? I'll break it down for you now, baby, It's simple. You'll be an info. I'll be in info in the hotel, in the back of the rental, on the beach and bow just whatever you want to. Got the magic stick. I'm the love doctor your friends teaching by high school. I'm not got you when you show me you can working, baby little, but I'm get on top to get the counts found like a little by the I'm a season bit when I'm trying. What are you taking shopping for food to eat off your girlfriend? I'll do that. That's not weird, it's not a problem, alright, guys, let's just end the podcast and go shopping. I think we should end it right. It was a nice podcast. It was a fun week. It was a nice week. This is the this was the hangover in the last couple of kind of relaxing. That's nice. Listen. I don't mind having podcasts. We did, we did no, we had no listener interaction today. Do you guys please watch Ballers on Sunday? Please? For the first time, I gotta say, I started to watch the first episode last week and I fell asleep, but not because it was bad, because I was tired. It's so good. So I promise you I will finish watching the first episode this weekend. So you're talking you watched the first episode of season one? Correct? Yeah? Behind. But I like the Rock. I like Dayne Johnson. He's really good actor. Rocks got charisma he does, He's got the certain something. I think he's gonna be started at a water HBO. I got a feeling he's gonna be one day. I got a feeling this guy is gonna be a big dis guy. Dwayne Johnson maybe going to wrestling or something. Right, you never know. Are you gonna watch the Ballers? I have to order HBO. Come on, we'll see you Monday. Thanks for listening. To be our fair show. Get in touch with us, let us know what you think, you know what you really think. Just watch me now. I guess now,