#283: The Cheesecake Factory Of Lies

00:00:01
Speaker 1: Start up Dota, start up, Brooklyn Boys, start up, Brooklyn Buys.

00:00:09
Speaker 2: Start up Doda.

00:00:10
Speaker 1: They making noise, Doda, start up DoD.

00:00:15
Speaker 3: Doda, Episode two eighty three of the Brooklyn Boys Podcast. And We're not the only ones making noise. Brodie's dogs are making noise. I think they must be so excited for the Brooklyn Boys podcast.

00:00:27
Speaker 2: What the hell? Right on? Que?

00:00:29
Speaker 4: Yeah, the dogs ran to the window in the living room and they're barking at whoever is walking up the block.

00:00:35
Speaker 3: Do they want to bite the ups driver because they heard that rant?

00:00:39
Speaker 2: Absolutely? What's up with that?

00:00:43
Speaker 3: Oh my god? They barking everything? I mean, can't you train those things?

00:00:48
Speaker 2: They're not things, and they are trained.

00:00:50
Speaker 3: They're trained to protect me in the house and everyone else who lives yet, right, Well, first of all, if there was a real intruder, they wouldn't do much in the way of protecting you. I mean, I've seen your dog not very threatening, you know, I be Jean's mostly, I know. But they're tiny, they're they're cuddly, they're white. They are they'll.

00:01:10
Speaker 4: Rip your pant leg around the ankle area, one of them will.

00:01:13
Speaker 2: Would they really bite? No, they won't, no matter what.

00:01:17
Speaker 4: Well, if you don't, if you're not Scary Jones and you're listen to this podcast, you're thinking about robbing me, they will rip your heart out, tear you limb by limb to shred you and then eat you and then poop you out later. No, they're barkers, but they wouldn't know what to do once, you know, you confronted them.

00:01:35
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's like most you know, so they're all barking, no bite. Yes, I will say growing up in Brooklyn, we had Bob. Bob and his guard dogs. He had signs up everywhere, He had huge fences. He fenced himself in in a row house situation, picture houses connected up and down the block, because that's how the film that, that's how those houses were built on my block, and and and his driveway area. He fenced it all in, and he had two big guard dogs with signs up beware of the dog, and and they looked ferocious. But I don't know Bob was I guess ex military. Then I wouldn't mess with him or his dogs, right, So who knew what was really going on? But so you know there's people who put like this home protected by a DT alarm system and they just got the sticker online.

00:02:38
Speaker 2: There's no system.

00:02:39
Speaker 3: Oh right, right, people or people that they put a sticker in their car window and they make it look like there's an alarm, but there's nothing.

00:02:49
Speaker 2: I don't what do you mean.

00:02:50
Speaker 3: It makes it look like this, like they look like they're there's they're being protected by something.

00:02:55
Speaker 2: Oh yeah.

00:02:56
Speaker 4: And some people put like stickers about the cameras. What looks like the wire that goes on the glass of your house. Yes, yeah, they buy that and they stick it on, right. I mean, I'm not looking to help anybody rob anybody, but I'm just saying a lot of people try everything to make it look like.

00:03:09
Speaker 3: Plus, you don't want to take a chance and call someone's bluff and then realize that the joke's on you.

00:03:13
Speaker 4: Yeah they could be an alarm, but yeah they might have called and gotten a free home monitoring system.

00:03:18
Speaker 2: Don't you dare say the client? I was about to, but but imagine that.

00:03:22
Speaker 3: I guess that's I guess people do that they put these fake surveillance cameras along. No, but they but they'll actually put a camera up that's in sight, right so people could see it clearly.

00:03:34
Speaker 4: I've been into bodega's, grocery stores and stuff where there's a camera and.

00:03:38
Speaker 3: There's the wiring not connected to anything. I mean, the wire could be in the wall. But a lot of them are just dumby cameras. I have an idea. It's the be a criminal, don't be a criminal? How about that? But it's it's the idea of a camera being there that might deter crime.

00:03:52
Speaker 4: You know, if you watch crime shows, all you do is take a can of spray paint and you spray paint the lens and then you're all set. Will they do impossible movies, all the spy movies, cop shows, they just go up and go with the spray cand then you're done.

00:04:06
Speaker 2: Not a bad play, I guess. So.

00:04:09
Speaker 3: Uh Yeah, it's another gloomy Friday. The sun hasn't been out in I thought fourteen days.

00:04:15
Speaker 2: It seems to rain every day, every day.

00:04:17
Speaker 3: Yeah, I can't take it anymore, dude. I feel like we're in Seattle or London.

00:04:21
Speaker 2: With this three day It's every daysting. I can't.

00:04:25
Speaker 3: You know what though, First of all, the sun will be out tomorrow, Okayny, you got it, Tomorrow, Sunday, Monday, or the whole week next week if you're listening to this when we're recording on Friday, February second, twenty twenty four. But I'll say this, Brody, I forgot what was gonna say. You got a big run up though, Yeah, no, you like that, you like the big plan out. I would take this over snow and twenty seven degrees, the fact that it's like forty three and like me out, I'll take that every day over a snowstorm. And I know some people love snow, can't wait to jump in. They want the next big snow cause havoc close things, slow travel Moraine.

00:05:13
Speaker 4: What I don't et any Moraine. I'm tired of it. Especially I have three dogs. I gotta walk them. I can't walk them in the rain. I can walk them in the snow because the snow doesn't soak them. The snow just gets them, you know, with snow on, I'm gonna shake it off.

00:05:26
Speaker 3: Callas Swift. So the rain is a problem. So what do you think about? You have a mess, special message for somebody here. Tomorrow's special day. You have a you have a Tomorrow is a special day. You should have a special message for special summer, special message, special birthday, tomorrow, February third. Yes, it's awkward, you're bringing it up, scary, but why the big day? Happy birthday to my wife years her birthday. It's her birthday tomorrow, and I want to wish for a happy birthday, exact right, happy right, happy birthday to your wife, and please give her my regards.

00:06:05
Speaker 2: I will, I will, I will, I will yes a big day because I think there's another birthday happening tomorrow too. I mean, I would imagine.

00:06:12
Speaker 4: I mean, you divide the entire planet by three hundred and sixty five days and then throwing a leap here. That's still you know, hundreds of millions of people who have the same birthday, right, So I'm sure there's other people whose birthday it is tomorrow? Yeah, I mean, you know what I did a year ago tomorrow. I went to a vaudeville show, which we talked about as a strip teas show.

00:06:34
Speaker 2: Like a strip show. It was more like a bird. We called that burless burlesque.

00:06:38
Speaker 4: Yep, burless, not vaudeville burlesque show where your friends spent hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of dollars on liquor. I didn't spend a penny It was a great night, except for that tall asshole who stood in front of us and blocked the whole stage.

00:06:52
Speaker 2: Yeah what brotys.

00:06:53
Speaker 3: Referring to which you will not properly come out and say, is tomorrow is my birthday? Yes, John, Yeah, tomorrow's your birthday. This is the first year you remembered mine, by the way, So yes, tomorrow is Scary's uh birthday. We're over excited about that. Fiftieth up, sorry fiftieth. And I said to you.

00:07:12
Speaker 4: Scary a number of years ago. In fact, when we work together, when you when you teased me for being forty, I said, I'll wait, I'm gonna work here until you're forty and I'm gonna let you have it. And then you turn forty and.

00:07:23
Speaker 2: You're like, oh yeah, even forty. I'm sorry.

00:07:25
Speaker 4: And then when I turned fifty you said you made fun of me. You're like, oh, you're fifty, and I said, I'm gonna wait, I'm gonna wait until you know work.

00:07:32
Speaker 2: Here I am.

00:07:33
Speaker 3: And guess what, I take it on the chin, which one? Wow, only one? Now that I am doing doctor fat Loss.

00:07:41
Speaker 2: Hey, hey, no, hit it. Sorry that was a free pass.

00:07:45
Speaker 3: No, because you insulted me I get a free pass on that one. All right, birthday present, you get a free pass. I happen to be down twenty seven pounds. That's right, your little you're Are you on schedule today?

00:07:56
Speaker 1: Yeah?

00:07:56
Speaker 2: Today's day? They thirty two? Oh yeah, you're in very nice. Yes it works.

00:08:04
Speaker 3: And guess what, I don't have to take shots for the rest of my life, all right, like those other plans, just saying, don't take shots of that little.

00:08:12
Speaker 2: Rug shot they put in your your abdomen that we played the clip, or drugs. I know a lot of people are doing these drug thing shots.

00:08:18
Speaker 3: I'm just doing this with nutrition Dr Fat loss dot com. Shut up, Okay, now, you don't get a website plug. You don't get a website plugged. Let's go hit it's my birthday. I should get a website plug mention. You don't come on man, hit it. No, I didn't get shipped for my birthday.

00:08:35
Speaker 2: Hit that himble.

00:08:40
Speaker 4: You know what I'd like to see every time you lose a pound, I'd like to see you take like five pieces of paper off that stack of paper by you. I will say that you're blocking it blocking it today. So anyway, before we go further, because tomorrow is my birthday, and what I did want to.

00:08:57
Speaker 2: Get every third. We don't know when people third, yes, mar third.

00:09:01
Speaker 3: And with that, I'm not gonna get into the situation I got into last year because I was still on my fat loss plan, we'll call it, and I tortured myself.

00:09:12
Speaker 2: I said, let's go out to dinner at a steakhouse. And eight people.

00:09:16
Speaker 3: Came with me and we're sitting out Brody Brody joined us afterwards.

00:09:20
Speaker 2: And I'm sitting around on my birthday watching.

00:09:24
Speaker 3: People pass the mashed potatoes and sides and sick cut bacon.

00:09:29
Speaker 2: And there I was with my petite filet mignon. If you don't know what petit is small people.

00:09:36
Speaker 3: A tiny little baby cut and some themed broccoli.

00:09:39
Speaker 2: And that was my dinner.

00:09:41
Speaker 3: While I was watching everybody gorge themselves and drink copious amounts of alcohol. And I was sitting there, I'm like, Okay, let me sip on my one glass of wine that I'm allowed to have tonight.

00:09:52
Speaker 2: You think that was fun for me?

00:09:53
Speaker 4: Brody, No, I don't listen. We once I think I've told the story, I can't keep track anymore. We went to a place that was known for their.

00:10:01
Speaker 3: Was it inside out meatballs chicken that place in Staton No chicken palm, No, it was it was inside out meatballs. Would fried meat balls, fed me balls in Staten Island, dogs docks, docks and they'd palm everything. And we went the whole morning show and it was during a first quarter Scary and there was palm they put. They palmed the salt and pepper shakers. That's how much palm was on the table. It was palm, pom pom pomp palm. And Scary sat there with his arms crossed, just going, oh but I got a plain piece of chicken breast please, and he barely ate and.

00:10:30
Speaker 2: We all were like, Scary, that's so impressive. He's like, oh yeah, great, yea. That will will power. But it's not will power.

00:10:36
Speaker 3: That's that's why this program works, because you're not hungry and you don't crave food even by looking at it.

00:10:42
Speaker 4: That's what it works. It really was will power to you. You were a rock, I have to say, so, it's very impressed. But this whole plan you're on, I'm not doing a commercial for it, no, but it seems to refocus your entire mindset where you're focused on eating healthy and smaller portions and a lot of sponsored by the way, not a sponsor this podcast, although they ought to be.

00:10:58
Speaker 2: He should be. He would stop giving free slip ins. He should be.

00:11:02
Speaker 3: So in lieu of all that, Yeah, I'm going to eat tomorrow. No, no, I'm not doing anything in regard involving eating or drinking. So instead I'm gonna go to Saturday Night Live. Oh you've had a rough week, man. You saw justin Timberlake. Yeah, and now you're going to see Saturday Night Live. Oh yeah, update the dress rehearsal that main show. I believe dress rehearsal. But still you get to see a half hour extra sketches because for a lot of people that don't know that, you just want to see both. No, No, what happens is from eight to ten o'clock on Saturday night, they have an audience come in and they watch them dress, they go, They act as if they're on television, except you get extra sketch. You get all these great sketches and then I guess based on crowd response and however it looked on TV. Michael says, don't think so they cut that. They cut thirty minutes worth of sketches. So at eleven thirty when the show gets is live and is taped, the one that everyone sees, that's the one. It's a ninety minute show, So thirty minutes of sketches or whatever it is goes out the window that you'll never see, but I get to see because I'm gonna go to the eight o'clock showing tomorrow.

00:12:13
Speaker 4: Well, i'd like to know what sketches were you really liked that you didn't see like on the air, like didn't didn't air that night.

00:12:20
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm I'm gonna go. I'm gonna check to see what got cut.

00:12:22
Speaker 4: Because some of them come back later on, weeks later, months later, some of them never appear again.

00:12:26
Speaker 2: And Jennifer Lopez is the musical guest. Oh, I'm sure they'll put her in a sketch er too. Maybe we'll see. And who's the go ahead. I can't say the name.

00:12:35
Speaker 3: I can't. I'm just gonna tell you. She's the one who won the Golden Globe for Best Actress for The Bear. I don't know how to pronounce your name, so I don't want to butcher it. But she's gonna watch The Bear.

00:12:44
Speaker 2: She's the host of the show tomorrow.

00:12:46
Speaker 3: So anyway, Yeah, so I'm excited for that and it doesn't involve eating or drinking.

00:12:52
Speaker 2: I just sent the very nice email saying, Hi, it's me, I'm the problem, problem, I'm the problem. It's me. Could you let me in?

00:13:00
Speaker 3: It's my fiftieth birthday and this is all I want to do.

00:13:04
Speaker 2: So then they acknowledged it's it's it's uh, it's io.

00:13:11
Speaker 3: Yeah, as long as he'm Toddy using technology. Another justin Timberlake song. He did that in concert the other night. So yeah, so yeah, that was the update on that. The update is the weekend update. I got your update. Yeah, we got in date, I got in, I got into the show. Congratulations the justin Timberlake one. Yeah, the one that you were like, I gotta go. It's I'm such a fan you can't get in. Shout out to both Elvis and especially Tom Pullman, the head of programming, who happened to be in l A. And he just gave me his ticket, which was awesome. I heard something I'm not gonna say. Who won the show told me, but we were talking.

00:13:52
Speaker 4: They told me that something happened on the show, and I feel like, yep, I feel like there's a problem. So can we address that when we come back from break.

00:14:03
Speaker 2: If it's the thing that I'm thinking of, absolutely we can.

00:14:06
Speaker 4: Yeah, because I'm gonna have to call you on the carpet on something podcast.

00:14:12
Speaker 3: So here's what I was told. You could fill in the blanks. But why don't you tell the story?

00:14:17
Speaker 2: Scary?

00:14:17
Speaker 4: Did Elvis because he originally thought you weren't getting into the Justin Timberlake show. Did he offer to do you anything he favors. Someone must have been listening or you had a mole that was listening.

00:14:28
Speaker 3: I wasn't listening to the shops. You might not have been up at six thirty in the morning when this time was not but Elvis. So let's rewind to Wednesday morning. It's eleven o'clock in the morning. I'm driving home. Elvis calls me and says, YO, scary. Listen said, Yo, scary. I couldn't help. But here couldn't help. But overhear your conversation with Nate in the studio about you wanting to go to this Justin Timberlake show, which at the time I did not have access to. Oh, I was groveling, dagging, emailing, calling, pulling all my contacts out trying to see who was going to hook me up. And I heard Elvis said, I heard it. You were disappointed because you weren't going to be going to the show. Well, he says, He says, I want. I was going to try and get you into the show, he goes. He goes, So, I made some phone calls in the background while you speaking to Nate to see if I could surprise you with entrance to the show. This was the the eleven hundred person Irving Plaza Wednesday night, one night only, justin Timberline Elvis.

00:15:30
Speaker 4: Elvis has major cloud in the shtre and if anyone could get in, it would be him.

00:15:35
Speaker 3: And times more cloud than me. So he made some calls and he couldn't do it, he says.

00:15:40
Speaker 2: Scary.

00:15:40
Speaker 3: He goes, I tried making some phone calls for you. So the reason why I'm calling you is I heard you wanted to go. I tried to let see if I can make you go.

00:15:49
Speaker 2: You can't go. There's no tickets. So in lieu of that, I'm going to give you.

00:15:55
Speaker 3: As a gift from me, a pair of tickets to see Justin tier Lake anywhere in the United States on his tour so Justin is a good bottom on a tour, and he goes, Listen, we may be on vacation, like we're on vacation the week of he's going to be at the garden whatever. Right, he goes, but but maybe you want to see him in Vegas or Miami.

00:16:15
Speaker 2: Whatever it is. Wow, that is very nice.

00:16:17
Speaker 3: But here's the thing. When Elvis Duran buys you a pair of tickets, they're not the cheap seeds he buys. He pays retail, by the way. Yeah, he buys you a pair of tickets like he gets you like front row, like he's a very generous good seed, no less than the first five rows. Like this guy is like front and center guy, you know. And he pays crazy money to get those tickets. So he says, because he takes care of his people, I will tell a story about Elvis getting tickets from me after you're done.

00:16:45
Speaker 2: So he's scary. He's scary.

00:16:48
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I want because you can't come, can't see Justin, I want to give you these tickets. So he said. I said, Okay, thank you so much. That's really nice of you. Appreciate you. He goes, all right, get back to me, tell me what you want to see him and a phone call. An hour later, Tom Polman gets in touch with me and says, hey, guess what.

00:17:08
Speaker 2: He's the president of programming for iHeartMedia. Correct.

00:17:11
Speaker 3: Correct his dude, because I was invited to that show. I'm in La. He is, because I spoke to the record label people, you can have you can have my seat, you can have my ticket.

00:17:23
Speaker 2: Amazing. I no way.

00:17:25
Speaker 3: So that that's how I ended up going to see Justin Timberlake. A great fast forward, but then tell what happened next. The next morning after the show, Elvis blindsides me on the air and said, hey, yuah, a little bit of.

00:17:40
Speaker 2: A after the Justin Timberla show.

00:17:42
Speaker 3: The morning show after the the next morning, after the show, is on the morning on the morning show, said does this live on the radio?

00:17:48
Speaker 2: The next morning, Hey, uh, it's scary.

00:17:51
Speaker 3: So you went to, uh see the Justin Timberlake show because Tom came through with your ticket? Yeah, I said, yeah, I ended up going to see it. So he goes, uh, so, uh, we good? I said, what do you mean we're good? He goes, well, I guess he you know, maybe I don't have to give you those tickets anymore.

00:18:11
Speaker 2: And buy you those.

00:18:12
Speaker 3: Tickets, as he justin, because I was offering you to see, I was offering you for these tickets because you didn't have.

00:18:17
Speaker 4: To couldn't go, right, they were they were compensation because you couldn't go to Irving Plaza, right, But.

00:18:23
Speaker 3: I ended up going to Irving Plaza because Tom's came through last minute. Right, So now what So So I'm sitting there on the radio and he's like, uh, well, I don't know, man. He goes seems to me like I don't really owe you a pair of tickets. I'm not I don't have to buy these tickets anymore.

00:18:39
Speaker 2: What are you saying? What? And what do he said? What comparison did he use?

00:18:42
Speaker 3: He immediately pointed to this free the steak dinner, the time that I tried to take you for the steak dinner the states the guy compensated the competabil one second, you just.

00:18:53
Speaker 2: Said, the time you tried to take me misteak dinner, I took you. I took you for steak dinner. I to fulfill my promise to you. I'm dropping the mic. Nope.

00:19:03
Speaker 3: And then and then the bill came and the steak was free, but I paid one hundred dollar tip. Anyway, let's not forget about that. Okay. So the bill was free, it was free, the stake was free. So I also said that on the air because so this is kind of like that steak dinner thing, right, So of course, because I feel like I don't owe you the steak dinner, Brodie, On the air, I said, well, if we're making that analogy, I guess by that logic, you don't owe me the tickets because I.

00:19:32
Speaker 2: Got my free concert.

00:19:36
Speaker 3: It's great, he goes, So you got the concert, and now I'm off the hook.

00:19:40
Speaker 2: I don't have to buy your tickets. Now.

00:19:42
Speaker 3: There was a controversy a little bit, you know, people were back and forth, waffling in the room because the same way people talk about the steak dinner episode. But here's the thing where you made a huge mistake the steak and your word hold on this stake and the word mistake. That's well, yes, and you made one ballpark scary if you took me to a steak dinner, even if it was a three hundred dollars dinner for the two of us, that means you paid one hundred and fifty dollars for me plus a fifty dollars tip, maybe it costs you two hundred bucks take me to a nice sake date. And let a footnote, a New York City steakhouse is not cheap. Is not cheap, right, I'm saying it would be like three four hundred dollars three hundred. I'll say three hundred because I don't need a lot. I don't drink, I mean, so let's say it would cost you two hundred dollars, would tip to cover my end of the bill? Right, Okay, Elvis was willing to buy you good seats to a Justin Timberlake concert anywhere in the country. How much do you think a pair of Justin Timberlake seats in the first ten rows goes for if he can't get them for face value and he has to pay after market and scalpel, which is what he'll always do, pay after yep, yep, yep.

00:20:46
Speaker 2: So what more than two hundred maybe a couple of thousand thousands, right.

00:20:52
Speaker 4: Let's just say fifteen hundred, just to you know, be on the low side. You passed up in an argument the possibility of getting a pair of tickets that are fifteen hundred dollars each three thousand dollars worth of tickets from the very generous Elvis Duran, because you couldn't swallow your pride and admit you owed me a two hundred dollars steak dinner because he passed up three thousand dollars worth of Justin Timberlake tickets anywhere USA. If you could have said Hawaii, you could have said Alaska, you could have said guad.

00:21:23
Speaker 3: It's the principle behind it. Because I don't owe you that steak dinner. So I have to stand by my logic and eat my own words.

00:21:31
Speaker 2: Because yes, I agree with Elvis. Okay, he doesn't owe me the ticket.

00:21:37
Speaker 4: Todaymore I got to see the show, admitted Jim, mistake. You and I could have had a nice steak dinner and for the cost of two hundred dollars and never hearing me complain about it again. You also could have gotten first ten row tickets for Justin Timberlake. I ought to call Elvis up and tell him that if he just buys us steak dinner, he doesn't owe you the tickets, because I'm gonna say, Elvis Scary is gonna go to you and say he really wants those tickets.

00:22:01
Speaker 3: Oh, then then if I buy you the steak dinner, then he gives me the tickets. Yeah, so buy me the steak dinner and he'll give you the tickets. All you have to do, scary is take me to my steak dinner. A couple of hundred bucks, We go out, you get a meal out of it.

00:22:13
Speaker 2: We could wait till second quarter.

00:22:14
Speaker 3: Series at this point, and then you get first ten rows justin Timberlake at any arena. US, I cannot let you win at this point. I'm standing my ground. I'm standing on principal. Well, then then stand on your principal with no dinner and no tickets. Don't fuck yourself, man, I don't know.

00:22:36
Speaker 2: I have to think about this.

00:22:38
Speaker 3: Hey, he may still you know, he did tell me later on he goes, you know, we're still you're still giving I'm still gonna get you the tickets anyway, So oh, then you're still gonna get me steak dinner. Well no, that was his choice anyway. No, but that's his choice. He's just being he's doing the right thing. He's doing the right thing because he promised you the tickets. So you all mistake dinner, thank you? I mean, Elvis is a better man than you. But that's besides the point, but very very touching. So I celebrated twenty nine years at the radio station. On Yet the other day, I saw that you put up a picture of the Puerto Rico trip, that you went on the party plane.

00:23:18
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was pre Brody's. A couple of people though it was.

00:23:20
Speaker 3: It was during Brody. Well, you are working with the show at that point, So you.

00:23:25
Speaker 4: Guys went on the party plane in February of ninety seven of ninety seven. You and I had been talking in January. I had sent in a demo for the super Bowl song. I had two songs on the radio. Was already talking about, you know, working with you guys more. And then when you came back from so Elliott, who was the co host of the show, he said, hey, man, we're going to Puerto Rico. When we come back, I'll have Scary reach out to you set something up. Maybe we can we can have you come in the studio. So I was already in the mix.

00:23:56
Speaker 3: And then I remember I didn't go on the trip right because I wasn't really working there.

00:24:02
Speaker 4: I didn't start until officially May of that year. And I remember a couple of people on the show that didn't go, that were fucking pistare not going because you guys had a great time.

00:24:11
Speaker 3: What was it, smash mouth, smash Mouth, Sister Hazel. Oh, Third Eye Blind was they were they there too?

00:24:19
Speaker 2: I don't know. Third Eye Blind was in Jamaica ninety nine with us that I remember.

00:24:22
Speaker 3: No, then they weren't there. So let me tell you what happened. Elvis bought me tickets. Uh, he really wanted to see Spamlot. He knows I'm a fan of Monty Python And this was when this is I don't know. It was a long time ago, but Spamalot had been on Broadway, not it was Spamalot at the time.

00:24:36
Speaker 2: Was like Hamilton, I want to go.

00:24:39
Speaker 3: They're coming back on Broadway. They're back on Broadway. They're already back. Oh, I know someone in the show.

00:24:46
Speaker 4: I have a I'm sorry, I know someone who's friends with someone in the show and says it's gonna take me.

00:24:50
Speaker 2: So I'm excited to go again.

00:24:51
Speaker 4: Spam Away. There's a special seat in the theater. I don't know if they've changed it with this time with Spamalott coming back, but there was a special seat. It was road d fourth row seats one and two, right, and if you sat in seat one at the end of the show. I don't want to spoil it, but at the end of the show, they come and bring you up on stage and make you part of the show if you're in that seat. So Elvis says to me, listen, Brodie, I love you and your wife. I got you tickets at that show. I know you wanted to see it and you really can't afford it. I got you these seats. They're great seats. You coulda love the seats. But do me a favor. When the show is over, text me, I want to know if you enjoyed the show. I was like, oh, that's very kind of you.

00:25:33
Speaker 2: That's very nice. Okay.

00:25:34
Speaker 4: So we get there and we rode D seats one and two, and I don't know anything about the seats. So normally I would sit on the aisle. I guess Elvis assumed that I'd sit on the aisle. But you know it's my wife. I'm a gentleman, so I said, I said, honey, you sit on the aisle seat. I'll sit in row two, next to the stranger in seat three. Rather, I'll sit in sea two. You sit in seat one and we'll enjoy the show.

00:25:58
Speaker 2: Okay. Great.

00:25:59
Speaker 3: At the end of the show comes the entire cast of the show comes off the stage, grabs my wife and brings her up on stage on Broadway and makes her part of the show. Because they had instructions to go to the We in that seat, that seat right, that's nice part of the show. Scene is part of the show. So they knew to go to that seat. And you just didn't tell me to sit on the supposed to be here your seats.

00:26:26
Speaker 2: You were supposed to be sitting in that seat.

00:26:28
Speaker 3: Right, And I would have been brought up on stage with Tim Curry and and uh.

00:26:32
Speaker 2: And it was all star cast.

00:26:33
Speaker 3: It was the opening original cast and a little bit on stage to pull my wife up on stage. She's mortified because she's not like, doesn't want to be in the spotlight. And she's laughing but nervously laughing, and they're singing to her. They asked her name, they put her name in a song, and I'm like, and I'm trying to film it on my flip phone.

00:26:51
Speaker 2: That's how long ago this was. You have fot this on a flip phone.

00:26:55
Speaker 4: I have like shitty footage of her on stage on a flip phone. That's how old was there was. I don't know, mid two thousands, before the iPhone and everything. That's what I have because I didn't know what was coming.

00:27:05
Speaker 2: I didn't know. I was like, oh my god, I love it.

00:27:08
Speaker 3: So Elvis, I texted Elvis, he goes, So how was the go I called Elvis? Rather, we didn't have texting. I called Elvis here, sir, how is this show?

00:27:16
Speaker 2: I said, Elvis? It was great?

00:27:17
Speaker 3: He goes, and I said, and my wife said, on the aisle.

00:27:21
Speaker 2: He goes, Oh my god, that's so great.

00:27:22
Speaker 3: But you idiot.

00:27:23
Speaker 2: He was supposed to sit on the aisle. So yeah, so Elvis gets good seats.

00:27:28
Speaker 3: He was trying it. But I love how he was really trying to hook you up and get your heats were not just fourth row. Yeah, at that point then people who knew knew. He knew to get those whatever he had to do to get them. He got those seats where one of us was going on stage, and I had I missed my Broadway moment. I'm gonna take a step further brody, because you probably obviously didn't hear the show this morning. We're all another another generous thing that Elvis did for me for my fiftieth birthday. I'll cry, do you know on the air this morning? Well, no, on the on the air this morning. Not only did I get the typical card that we always get every year when he writes fuck you will always that's classic, but that's classic best welcomed. Uh you know I got my bowl of berries because I'm on my plan.

00:28:21
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not a diet.

00:28:22
Speaker 3: I didn't get a cake, but there was a something else that he gave me for my fiftieth birthday, which I'm still blown away by. You can I give? Do you want to take a guess? By the way, I knew this is not rehearsed at all. Slices, this is Brody has no clue but Burger king gift card. You gotta think big, you gotta think monumental. Being I'm trying to be funny, I think monumental. Is this tied into your anniversary on the show or just because you've had a rough No? No, no, this is tied into my fiftieth birthday because I'm fifty, and I guess I mean my tenure There would would also.

00:29:01
Speaker 4: Well if I was thinking along lines of fifty. Hawaii is the fiftieth state. I would have maybe given you a trip to Hawaii. No, unless it's okay, is he paying for your trip that you're taking your family on.

00:29:11
Speaker 3: He gave me something so prestigious I can't even I still can't believe it's happening.

00:29:15
Speaker 2: I thought it was a joke at first when they did this on the air.

00:29:18
Speaker 4: Well, you don't have a microphone in the studio, so giving you a gold microphone wouldn't make sense.

00:29:22
Speaker 2: But it would because that's what he gave me, a gold mic. Gave you a gold microphone. Yeah, man, there's only like six or seven in existence in the country. Well, you don't have a mic in the studio.

00:29:32
Speaker 3: When he's well, I could use it here in the pocket. No, No, But when he's when he's away, you know when you can plug in your gold plug. I could plug in gold my gold mic. Wow.

00:29:45
Speaker 2: Wow, it's pretty crazy.

00:29:46
Speaker 4: I got a cupcake for my fiftieth when I worked it scary.

00:29:51
Speaker 3: That's awesome. Again, that's another example of his generosity. That's tremendous. But I was like, what at first? I didn't believe it at first. I'm like, because it was like a picture of a you know, microphone. It's it's on the way gold mic and it said asterisk court to plug it not included.

00:30:08
Speaker 2: Does it have a spit shield with it for you?

00:30:10
Speaker 3: Or because I'm thinking, thinking, this is what the length Elvis will go to to keep you from using his mic? Well yeah, well because it right, because I mean Mike's are personal, right because you spit into them?

00:30:21
Speaker 2: Well non stop. Oh no, but well he when he.

00:30:24
Speaker 3: Goes, when he's doing the show remotely, I plug in just a regular silver microphone, like a regular yeah, regular standard studio. Yeah, yeah, yeah, So I got my It's in my own silver mic. But like I'm like, I am not worthy. I am not worthy. It's like Wayne Wayne's world ship, you know, like I'm not worthy.

00:30:41
Speaker 2: Look, I'm not. I don't get it. He goes, yes, you are.

00:30:45
Speaker 1: So.

00:30:45
Speaker 3: Now Danielle has one. He has one, Ryan, Ryan Seacrest, the late Rush Limbaugh.

00:30:51
Speaker 2: That's it. Don't use that any more, I guess, So I think does one?

00:30:56
Speaker 4: I do not hope you don't not know that whether or not, but it does not many. That's amazing, scary, your your radio royalty. That's great, very happy.

00:31:05
Speaker 2: And I'm still still trying to sink in. I didn't believe it at first.

00:31:08
Speaker 4: I to Hawi would have been nice. I didn't mean to guess that. But nothing as an extraordinary gift. Extraordinary. Yeah, some of you might be thinking, like, really, what's up with that? No, first of radio and somebody gives you something that's that rare, that's amazing, amazing, so happy And I didn't sit in the right seat, so you win twice.

00:31:31
Speaker 2: What are you talking about? I'm saying because you spam a lot moment.

00:31:35
Speaker 3: Had I had I gone up on stage, it would have been like, that's even Yeah. But another list of another generous thing Elvis did for you. Let's not forget the New York Mets moment. Throw the first pitch out of the Mets game. Tell that quickly before our next break.

00:31:47
Speaker 2: I did.

00:31:47
Speaker 3: I did it on my goodbye show, and I say goodbye. Say it right here real quick, because a lot of people don't listen in order despite us telling you that that's right, that's right.

00:31:56
Speaker 4: Okay, So two thousand and two, Elvis was supposed to throw the first pitch in and you know, Elvis isn't an athlete. It'll be the first to admit it, and he was nervous about, you know, because you know, you throw the ball, it's forever.

00:32:06
Speaker 2: It lives forever if you have a bad throw.

00:32:09
Speaker 4: So we were practicing in the tunnels of at the time, it was called Shae Stadium.

00:32:12
Speaker 2: It's the old stadium.

00:32:13
Speaker 3: We were practicing and I was showing him how to throw and how to step into it. And he's like, I'm Brodie, I'm not gonna be able do this. I'm like, you're getting better. I was getting better.

00:32:19
Speaker 4: So we got in the field and the whole morning shows out on the dirt part by the batting circle, by the ondeck circle, and he says, listen, when they announced me to go throw the first pitch out, you walk with me.

00:32:29
Speaker 2: Come out with me. I'm nervous.

00:32:31
Speaker 4: Just go out there with me and help me and guide me through it and help me remind me what I'm.

00:32:35
Speaker 3: Supposed to do. I said, great, okay, So of course Elvis said, whatever you need.

00:32:39
Speaker 4: So I'm wearing my Mets jersey and we walk out and we get about I don't know, halfway to the mound and I'm shaking because to me, Chase Stadium is like the Holy Land. And he hands me the ball. He says, here, you do it. I said, why, he goes, I can't throw this means more to you.

00:32:55
Speaker 2: You do it.

00:32:56
Speaker 4: So the scoreboard says, Elvis Durant, it's your pitch, and the announces like I was on, gentlemen, Malvis Duran from the Alvis it's your pitch, ladies, and gentleman Alvis Duran, and I take the mound and all of a sudden, people start freaking out in the headsets, what's going on?

00:33:11
Speaker 2: What's going on? That's not Alas Durant?

00:33:13
Speaker 3: Who is that?

00:33:14
Speaker 2: What's going on? That club scull blood club scold blood h And.

00:33:18
Speaker 4: Everybody knew who I was because I had friends in the Mets organization, but all the people with the headsets were like what. And so I threw the first pitch and there is video, but it's on a VHS tape that they mailed me, because again it's two thousand and two.

00:33:30
Speaker 2: I threw a strike. I was very excited. It's on sixteen millimeter. No, it's a VHS tape.

00:33:35
Speaker 4: And that's again one of those moments scary where you couldn't why why would the Mets ever let me throw out the first pitch?

00:33:42
Speaker 2: They wouldn't they weren't they weren't upset.

00:33:44
Speaker 4: When I came off the field, my friend Shannon, who worked who worked for the Mets, she passed away a couple of years ago. She looked at me and I was in tears coming off the field holding the ball.

00:33:52
Speaker 2: I was shaking.

00:33:53
Speaker 4: I took a picture with the catcher. I talked to the pitcher or whatever, and she's like, I know what that meant to you? Right Like she just looked at me and like the same look you just had telling you a story. So anyway, Scary actually was tearing up as if he had to pay for a steak dinner for me. That's the look he had on his face. So I'm very excited. I'm looking forward to seeing the Instagram video. The first time you sit down in front of the mic and say something ridiculous.

00:34:18
Speaker 3: Boy, I said that the gold mic is supposed to make me smarter, that make the words better.

00:34:21
Speaker 2: Well you better get too. Then the Brooklyn Boys podcast.

00:34:25
Speaker 3: We will be right back.

00:34:27
Speaker 4: Can we talk about like what really goes on? Like what people really tune in for. I got to talk to you about what happened to me. I'm gonna I'm gonna go ahead and say it. It was Cheesecake Factory, Okay. I went there last week with my cousin, the same cousin who, by the way, I went to lunch with and I had the dollars six problem with the gift card and not being able to tip.

00:34:45
Speaker 2: Same cousin. So we're looking for a place.

00:34:48
Speaker 3: To eat and we go to a mall that has a bunch of restaurants. One of them is Cheesecake Factory, which we love. We go, we go there a lot for lunch and I said, you know what, let me call while we're like five minutes away.

00:35:03
Speaker 2: Let me call.

00:35:04
Speaker 4: We're getting to the parking lot. I call up and I say, how long is the wait for a table for two? And the guy says about a half I'm sorry. The girl who answered the phone, she says about a half hour. I said, oh, all right, so like great half hour. I said to my cousin, does that work for you? She says, yeah, that works for me. I said, I yeah, we'll see you soon. Thanks, hang up the phone. We park about a minute later, and as so, we go in and we and we go into the to the front and there's a guy working there not the guy who answered the phone cause I was a girl, And I say, hey, man, uh you take my name? Yep, how long for a table? Half hour?

00:35:41
Speaker 2: Great? My name's David.

00:35:43
Speaker 4: Two people, He said, I we'll call you, we'll text you, we'll take your phone number, we'll text you. Don't be further than five minutes away. Because you're in a mall. You can walk around the mall. You need to be able to get back here within five minutes. I said, I, you don't want to in case we're really hungry. Let's just go see the Buffalo Wild Wings next door. Let's see what the weight is. If there's no weight, I'll come back here.

00:36:04
Speaker 3: I'll walk back and tell them to take our name off the list because I'm hungry. So we go over to Buffalo Wild Wings and we walk in the way it's set up. Is the entrance on the parking lot side, which is where we were, doesn't have a host to stand. You kind of enter in the bar area. Oh yeah, yeah, there's some places like that that I know of.

00:36:22
Speaker 4: Yeah, every high top table in the bar area and all of the booths that are available that I can see that we can see have mounds of garbage on them. This is around seven o'clock on Saturday. I think it was a Saturday night. Seven o'clock. Now, scary.

00:36:43
Speaker 3: That's your busy time, right, you should have your staff working on a Saturday night. Piles of garbage, just like there's no garbage pails, there's no staff to clear off the tables. And the guy comes over and goes, hey, can I help you? I said, how long for a table for two? He goes, about ten minutes, We got to clear off some of the tables. Yeah, all right, he's just going to try to find someone to clear him off. So we wait five minutes. Nothing, nobody's clearing off the tables. So my cousin says, you know what, let's just go back to the cheesecake factory and eat there.

00:37:13
Speaker 2: I said, okay.

00:37:15
Speaker 4: So we look at our watches and it's been seven minutes since they told us a half hour. So we walk around them all a little bit. Ok here and there, a right, and it gets to the thirty minute mark and we're like, let's go back. I don't want to.

00:37:28
Speaker 2: Miss the text message. Let's go back.

00:37:30
Speaker 4: So we walk back in and at this point we haven't been texted yet. We really weren't very far away, the text would have worked, and because it's my phone, it would have worked anywhere.

00:37:39
Speaker 2: And we didn't get a text.

00:37:40
Speaker 4: So I go up to the desk and there's a girl and the guy who I spoke to. And I say to the girl, excuse me. She says hour and a half. I said, yeah, I'm not asking you how long of a waited is. I just want to know how much longer for my table? Hour and a half? Okay, okay, I'm already on the list. Says what's your name? Said David? And I said, I signed in around thirty eight minutes ago. She says, all right, you have another fifty fifty minutes. So I said, whoa, whoa, whoa, But go ahead.

00:38:15
Speaker 2: What are you to say?

00:38:17
Speaker 3: She was to say, another fifty Do the math on that? What is that fifty minutes up? So an hour and a half, right, fifty plus thirty eight? But waitely, something's off though, right, So I say to.

00:38:29
Speaker 4: Her, no, I'm sorry, you're you're mistaken. I'm not checking in now. I checked in thirty eight minutes ago. When the way was it half way?

00:38:36
Speaker 2: The way?

00:38:36
Speaker 3: Was it?

00:38:37
Speaker 2: Right? Okay? Right? Right? Right?

00:38:38
Speaker 4: So she says I'm sorry, sir, it's loud in here. You probably didn't hear it, right, I said, whoa, whoa. I said, it's not loud enough that it's not a rock concert, I said, I called on the phone. I was told it was thirty minutes. When I walked in. The guy behind you said thirty minutes. She said you must have heard him wrong. I said, listen, I saw him. Sorry, I said a half hour.

00:38:58
Speaker 3: I said, an hour and a half ends in the word half a half hour ends in.

00:39:05
Speaker 4: The word hour. I wouldn't have heard words differently. I confirmed it. I had a conversation with my cousin. Are you sure thirty minutes is okay? Yes, thirty minutes is okay. And I said the girl on the phone thirty minutes was thirty minutes. I said, so, you told me on the phone twice thirty minutes when I wasn't here where it was loud.

00:39:23
Speaker 3: I don't tell you, sir, it's another another hour. I said, no, no, no, no.

00:39:27
Speaker 4: I said, You're gonna get me at table in the next ten minutes, because that's what I was told. You're mistaken, sir, So she says to the kid, the guy who told me did you tell him a half hour?

00:39:39
Speaker 3: He says, no, it's an hour and a half. I said, bullshit, bullshit, you told me a half hour. I don't mind waiting. I'm not going to cause a scene. I'll wait a few more minutes.

00:39:49
Speaker 2: But go ahead.

00:39:51
Speaker 3: My question was this guy feeling like he was gonna get in trouble, like why did he? Yes, no, he probably should have been telling people an hour and a half. But he and the girl, Oh my god, so in his mind a half hour an hour and a half are he got him switched. He I don't know what he got switched. He thought a half hour was ninety minutes. He's an idiot.

00:40:08
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, So the manager comes over. She hears me having this annoyed conversation with this little girl who's the hostess, and she doesn't say shit. She comes over Graham's menus and walks away, like, I don't want to be part of this. Because, you know, a cheesecake factory, people must yell all the time about the time, because everybody waits an hour and a half. I get it, but we wouldn't even gone in at an hour and a half. She says, all right, sir, give me a few minutes. I got a table coming up.

00:40:31
Speaker 3: She goes, says, one girl, Julie, check table, whatever number, and let me know what they're doing. It comes back, they're just eating dessert. To'll be done in a minute. That a few minutes. I'll wait five minutes for them to finish dessert, no problem. So then I see she's whispering, this one whispering to that one there was looking at me. They're whispering like, oh yeah, there's the troublemaker. I'm the troublemaker because you told me a half hour and I have the audacity after forty minutes to think my table might be a few more minutes. Listen, I'm an understanding person. You guys, listen, little slices. You know, they tell me a half hour and it's forty five minutes. It happens. Absolutely. People take longer. They dawdle, they they yap, they don't get up. I get it, but don't tell me a half hour and then lie to me and say you told me an hour and a half. Now I'm not accepting that. Okay, Well, they just took you as the average joe that they could pull the wool over. They don't realize that they're fucking with dB and the place test me that's right. So they tell me to stand to the right where the hostess will eventually get me, and they start putting menus up on the ledge with your receipt so that each menu group has a name attached to it. So the hostess is like, okay, James, Party four, the paper's on the menu, right. This guy walks up and he says to the girl. Now the guy is turned around. He's on the other side of the circle where you stand. The hostess stands a circle, he's on the other side.

00:41:49
Speaker 4: The guy walks up and he says, excuse me, I'm here forty minutes. How much longer before I get my table? And she says to him, let me check your name, and she says, well, are it's an hour and a half. Wait, you have another fifty minutes. So he says, no, no, you told me a half hour. So I get all excited because now that they're telling him the same shit. So she turns around and says to the kid the guys, hey, Maxwell, how long did you tell this guy?

00:42:17
Speaker 2: Did you tell him a half hour? And he goes, no, hour and a half.

00:42:20
Speaker 3: So I said. So the guy goes, that's not true. So I go, excuse me, I said, sir, I don't mean to drupt.

00:42:26
Speaker 2: You don't know me. I said, my name's David. I got here.

00:42:29
Speaker 3: You obviously don't know me. No, no, I'm saying to the customer, I said, I got here five minutes. And you know what, They lied to me the same way they lied to you. The jig is open. I said, this kid is a liar. He told me a half hour. He told you a half hour. I went like, I went like this on the table, I went, stop lying to people.

00:42:50
Speaker 2: Stop it.

00:42:51
Speaker 3: And the girl's like, we're not lying to people. And the guy's like, yeah, you lied to him too. You lied to both of us. This place is full of liars. So the girl says to me, he says, She says to the other girl, get him his table, and so she gives me. They give us the next table. We had the best waitress ever in a great meal. But that's not the point. The point was not only did they lie to me, they lied to the next guy in front of me, and thought I wasn't going to say anything. I gotta have loyalty to the other customers. I'm on team customer. They actually lied to him, and he said, no, you told me I half hour and then she says to him, lighted here he goes, I heard it.

00:43:36
Speaker 2: I couldn't believe it. I said, I'm fiating in here?

00:43:38
Speaker 3: Where? Where was all this going on in the waiting area? Stand in the waiting area while people are sitting there with their buzzom everywhere? And then I think, how loud were you were they? What were you whispering?

00:43:48
Speaker 2: Or no? This is how loud I was. So there's a loud I was, hey, stop lying to people. You lie to me. You're lying to him, sir, you don't know me. My name's David.

00:43:58
Speaker 3: They lied to me forty five minutes, so not him. You're telling all the other people who sitting around you. No, the other guy did. The other guy then went, this place is full of liars. He got more upset. I didn't want to make a scene, But when you lie to me and then lie about don't, and then you lie to the guy in front of me and tell him he's he's wrong also, And then the other the kid is like, terrible, No, I didn't say that. No, you didn't say that. You sure as hell did just say I made a mistake. If you would have said to me, listen, I'm new here. Made a mistake. I meant ninety minutes, I said, I said a half hour.

00:44:36
Speaker 2: I fucked up. I'm sorry.

00:44:38
Speaker 3: The manager comes over and says, hey, free dessert, no problem, sorry for the mistake. Nope, they lied and they just kept adding to the line and lie in front of them.

00:44:47
Speaker 2: So what what is the outcome of all this? The huet? Did you get free dessert on this one?

00:44:55
Speaker 4: So the waitress, my waitress, was like the waitresses to me, hey, I saw what was going on at the front desk over there is everything okay?

00:45:02
Speaker 3: So I told her, I said, I said, this is what's going on. So she says, well, I'm really really sorry. I said, it's no problem. So we had our meal and I ordered the fried macaroni and cheese balls, which are my favorite, and my cousin had a salad because that's what.

00:45:14
Speaker 2: She always gets, some big Asian salad.

00:45:16
Speaker 4: Ever, anyway, the manager never came over, nobody ever said anything. And the waitress says to me, I just want you to know I took the macaroni cheese balls off your order because I heard what was going on having a crazy night, and apparently a bunch of people were misinformed on the time. I'm letting you know the macaroni and cheese balls are on the house. So I didn't get free dessert. I got free balls. Who doesn't love free balls?

00:45:42
Speaker 2: I got it.

00:45:42
Speaker 3: So fuck you female hostess, Fuck you male host Maxwell, fuck you both.

00:45:48
Speaker 4: I didn't get her name. But do you imagine that it's very loud in here, so you probably didn't hear us.

00:45:53
Speaker 2: Right, it's scary.

00:45:55
Speaker 3: Does hour and a half sound like thirty minutes to a half hour to you?

00:45:58
Speaker 2: No?

00:45:58
Speaker 3: In fact, I know Dan well that you didn't hear them wrong, because if he said ninety minutes to you, you would have been like, fuck you, I'm not waiting, I'm out of here to begin with, right right.

00:46:08
Speaker 2: I confumed it on the floor in the car. Right.

00:46:11
Speaker 3: In fact, my cousin said to me, and you're not waiting anywhere night. You're not sitting there ninety minutes to get in there.

00:46:16
Speaker 4: No, And by the way, fuck Buffalo Wild Wings that night to having every table full of garbage, and the people who were who ate there didn't throw their own plates out, like help out something.

00:46:28
Speaker 2: There's a mess. It was a mess.

00:46:30
Speaker 3: And then I called it called the California Pizza Kitchen. When I because I was like, oh, a half out, let's see what the wait is a California Pizza kitchen. And when I called the location, I got a different location.

00:46:41
Speaker 4: They said ten minutes. We're like great, we'll be right in. And he says, all you're calling Garden State Plaza. I'm like, oh, no, no, no, I'm not at Garden State Plaza. I'm at where are the mall? He goes, oh, yeah, that location closed a year ago, so we didn't get to go to the location that closed.

00:46:54
Speaker 2: Excuse me, Yeah, So don't take shit.

00:46:57
Speaker 3: From the hostess and the host and that's point that goes and that goes for your a lie everything.

00:47:04
Speaker 2: Well, I'm gonna say something here that I I don't want to sound boogie. I should go to a steakhouse and they wouldn't lie to me.

00:47:12
Speaker 3: I hate to say it, but the I guess, the more boosier of the restaurant you go to, the less problems you have like that, because they don't hire people that like that. Those No, they don't have an hour and a half way, they take reservations.

00:47:25
Speaker 2: No, they don't know I'm talking.

00:47:27
Speaker 3: No, there are some places that don't take any They have no res policies, but what they tell you is the real deal because they have competent.

00:47:34
Speaker 2: People working there. Is what I'm saying.

00:47:35
Speaker 3: I want host guys, if you are a host or hostess, and or you were a host or hostess, leave us a talk back and tell us if you lied out of fear, or you lied because your bosses told you were supposed to lie to people. I know, if it's a half hour, you tell people twenty you know, you tell people twenty minutes that they don't leave, but you're not off by an hour, right, leave us a talkback.

00:47:57
Speaker 2: iHeartRadio app. Yeah, all right.

00:47:59
Speaker 3: Places with residue are one thing. Okay, And and I'll say that so reserve spaces they don't hold. There are some there are better quality whatever, maybe a higher price point, I don't know what you want to call it. Spots that do not accept reservations and they have like first come, first serve, and they put you people on waiting lists. But the people they employ are not going to ever throw you under the bus or you know what I'm saying. It will always be back on them. If they make an honest mistake. But if they don't think.

00:48:32
Speaker 4: You think nobody at the hostess or host stand uh at a fancier restaurant, no matred d as it were, is in cover lies. Well it looks for a little five, just send, I'll slip in a hand. They get the thing that you want.

00:48:46
Speaker 3: It's hard, it's hard to say, but they wouldn't make that much of a disparity between thirty and ninety minutes.

00:48:52
Speaker 2: It wouldn't be that much. Maybe an extra fifteen minutes.

00:48:54
Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe they someone someone greased them and they gave them twenty bucks and now like okay, so then are going to see these people first, So you're waiting an extra ten to fifteen minutes.

00:49:03
Speaker 2: But for the what happened to the customer is always right? What happened to No, the customer didn't hear us, right, that's what she said.

00:49:10
Speaker 3: Oh it's loud here. You know I'm not the only person they say that to you. Well, no, no, no, no, I don't know. I'm not buying any of it. It's a line. It's a line of bullshit. They they got caught, yep. And I don't think they pull those types of Shenanigans at places that are a little bit you know better.

00:49:26
Speaker 2: Well, someday I'll go to those places again. I'm just saying I would.

00:49:32
Speaker 3: I don't know what I would do if I was putting you go to bougie place. I get it all right. We got sound coming up after this and Rody Man, oh man, the time? How the time flies on this podcast? Does it?

00:49:45
Speaker 2: It does? This is? This is our final segment.

00:49:48
Speaker 3: You've got a gold mic and I got fucked over at the cheesecake factory, so you've.

00:49:51
Speaker 2: Got a golden sombrero.

00:49:52
Speaker 3: We live in parallel lives while we are talk full of sound from this past week? Were there that many blunder? Are that many people that said his instead of theirs? And theirs instead of they do they use? I got a bunch of those, but I'm not gonna play. I'm gonna give you guys a break from mcgroward police. I don't think there's a I don't think there's any in here when they should be singulars. Oh, I have a lot of those. If you want them, let's go it off on those. Let's go let let's get all those.

00:50:19
Speaker 4: No, no, no, do you have a clip there that says be afraid before you play it, you have I'm not afraid, okay, scary. Have you ever heard a commercial where the I R S tells you to be afraid that you that you're gonna get audited, where the actual I R S is they're coming to get you.

00:50:36
Speaker 2: No, they play that clip, you'll hear the radio ads about the I R S. They tell you to be afraid, to be scared, and they try to fighten you with the calling I'm not here to do that. Okay, No, we never heard, never heard those ads.

00:50:49
Speaker 3: No, but that's the thing they're falsely telling you. You know those ads that frighten you to that that I R S is coming after you.

00:50:57
Speaker 2: We're not like that. We'll help you from those calls.

00:50:59
Speaker 3: They're trying to create problems solution.

00:51:02
Speaker 2: The thing is, there's no problem they to begin with. It's imaginary. They're putting it in your head that you've.

00:51:07
Speaker 3: Heard those commercials and trying to convince you that you did, but you really haven't.

00:51:11
Speaker 4: You've only heard this person's commercials. Yes, right, the IRS does not run commercials saying we're coming in coming to get you. We've all heard those commercials. No, we really haven't what else you next? So many results?

00:51:23
Speaker 3: Uh oh, would you use a product that had this disclaimer at.

00:51:27
Speaker 2: The end for medical problems? We've got a lot of sound results. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:51:34
Speaker 3: Positive results may occur, false positives and false negatives may occur. You're taking a test and you could have fult So whatever they how would you ever know if the results were accurate? If they said to you you might get a false positive, then you go on, I'll take a second test, right, but this one could be false positive or negative or negative.

00:51:57
Speaker 2: Fuck that.

00:51:57
Speaker 3: That's the ship in the box people, I'm not using them. So listen to this clip and you tell me if this is irony.

00:52:03
Speaker 2: The crazy thing about that? Besides, I love that piece. That's the last time the Lines won a road playoff camp It was sixty.

00:52:10
Speaker 3: Six years ago and ironically, it was again at San Francisco at Cheezars Stadium.

00:52:14
Speaker 2: They went on to win the title that year, beat Cleveland.

00:52:18
Speaker 4: Okay, so he's saying the last time the Lions won a road game in the playoffs, they were playing the forty nine ers, which they were that day.

00:52:24
Speaker 3: Yes, he was, ironically they were playing for That's a coincidence, is not an incidence that is not irony. Now here's another one, another example from lot where somebody says irony, Well hold on, hold on. He says it's irony. But I want you to listen to what I say before the clip, because.

00:52:42
Speaker 2: I'm on there.

00:52:43
Speaker 4: I tell you what the score is when he said it, and then you tell me if what he said is irony a coincidence? Okay, Detroit twenty four to ten at the time of this clip.

00:52:52
Speaker 3: And I was a down fourteen points and another one came back and tied the game.

00:52:56
Speaker 2: I was in a championship game that was ironic at twenty four to six. Had that happens was twenty four to ten, that's neither. That's neither. Yeah.

00:53:05
Speaker 4: So Kevin Harlan is the announcer calling the game. His broadcast partner is Kurt Warner, a former quarterback. He's calling the play of the quarterback on the field running the ball.

00:53:17
Speaker 2: Remember his partner is Kurt Warner.

00:53:20
Speaker 3: In twenty three in the Shotgun, Purty wiping his hands.

00:53:23
Speaker 2: On the white tie, off his belt buckle. What's in the four man front shotguns? Nap Fox's arm. He's getting out of a messy pocket, runs up the middle of the twenty five to twenty broke at tackle.

00:53:32
Speaker 3: At the fifteen tiving I handed that thirteen yard line between the.

00:53:36
Speaker 2: Hand smarts right down the middle when he saw terror.

00:53:40
Speaker 3: He runs for ten and Kurt Warner picks up a first down. He gets the football player confused with his co host. Right, he called his co host the guy in the field. Do you have the two Michael Strahan clips.

00:53:54
Speaker 2: Yes, I do, Okay, yeah, yep.

00:53:56
Speaker 4: So at the half of that game was twenty four to seven. This is a different game than the Lions game. This, I'm sorry, this was the Niners. The Niners Lions game. Michael Strahan is interviewing players after the game. He interviews the coach. Right, it was the guy play the clip. The score was twenty four to seven.

00:54:20
Speaker 3: You were down seventeen and nothing going in at the halftime. Whoops, it was twenty four to seven. He says, you were down seventeen nothing. Then Strayhan says this to Christian McCaffrey about how he signed a contract just to play on a winning team.

00:54:37
Speaker 2: Ahead to Christian mccafey, playing for.

00:54:38
Speaker 3: A long time, you signed with the forty nine ers just for this moment to go to the Super Bowl.

00:54:45
Speaker 2: He says, you signed with the forty nine ers just this moment, right, he is the moment. No, because he's been with him the whole season.

00:54:51
Speaker 4: No, yeah, but no, No, he's saying he signed with him as a free agent, like he decided I'm going to go to the forty nine.

00:54:56
Speaker 2: Ers because they're going to the Super Bowl. Right.

00:54:58
Speaker 4: Guess what, he was traded by the Panthers to the forty nine ers. He had no say in the matter.

00:55:03
Speaker 2: Oh he was traded. Yeah? Wow, where did they straight hand his information?

00:55:08
Speaker 3: I gotta be honest, someone's head someone got fired over that. They had some heads rolling.

00:55:14
Speaker 2: Yeah, somebody's given him stupid All right, you got elevator.

00:55:19
Speaker 4: Oh elevator. Now, this is not a political clip. If you remember in twenty fifteen, when Donald Trump at the time announced he was running for president, he came down a giant escalator. Correct, right, Listen to this woman supporting him.

00:55:33
Speaker 2: For considering any of the other candidates in this primaries.

00:55:36
Speaker 3: I haven't considered anyone until Donald Trump walked down that elevator in two thousand. Oh my god, all right, we're gonna leave that right there, walked down that elevator walked down that element. By the way, you don't walk on an escalator or an elevator, you go on. You stand still on an esk. He didn't do anything right, he stood still right anyway?

00:55:56
Speaker 2: What else you got? I got?

00:55:57
Speaker 3: I got the stove guard grammar. I can't wait to hear what. No, don't play that one, I said, no grammar, doize we're not doing that? Okay, all right, we got elephant. I got the balance of Nature.

00:56:08
Speaker 4: Oh okay, scary. Would you use a product that worked or do you use a product that the spokesperson told you probably didn't work and they had to do something extra to help make it work. Here's Kathleen Gifford talking in her Balance and Nature commercial how she stays so healthy using balance in nature.

00:56:25
Speaker 3: All the more important that we take control of our own lives and our own health.

00:56:30
Speaker 2: What I do is I pray and then I take balance in nature because it's so simple.

00:56:36
Speaker 3: Okay, she prays, So she says, First of all, it's important to take control of your life.

00:56:40
Speaker 4: Yeah, then why you're praying. That's not the control of your life right. Second of all, if balance the nature works so well, why do you.

00:56:46
Speaker 2: Have to depray? First? That's what I was thinking.

00:56:49
Speaker 3: Would you get on a plane if they said it's only going to land safely if you pray, if you pray, I would like a product to work without praying.

00:56:54
Speaker 2: What about you? Correct? That got the arthritis? One? Oh? Oh, authritis? Right?

00:56:59
Speaker 3: Athritis? Two syllables. Here's the spokesperson. We know arthritis is three syllables. Yeah, how do you say arthritis? R? Thryritis?

00:57:08
Speaker 2: Right? Three? Right? Here's three arthritis. Here's this the spokesperson. I tell you may like it never even happened. Oh, what are you doing here?

00:57:22
Speaker 3: Most people know me for winning six PGA championships. When my bumny, I started thinking I was going to have to trade my club in.

00:57:29
Speaker 2: For a cane. Then I discovered arthritis, leap pain center. He goes four syllables, Yeah, he goes authoritis.

00:57:38
Speaker 4: That's when you can't stand author Uh you got Santiago, I sure do, Okay. So this is a commercial for uh a game on your phone, and it's uh Eva Longoria very nice or Eva longorias are Eva Longoria right yep? And a little boy she picks them up at school and the teacher says, oh are you are you Santiago's mother, and then the kids says something. For the life of me, I can't figure out what he's saying.

00:58:06
Speaker 3: Okay, you ready, are you Santiago's mother?

00:58:11
Speaker 2: Yes, I am. What do you say? Huh? I don't know what he's saying. Santiago too, it's just him speaker. Yes, I am. I don't know if you know what he's saying. Please let us know. Uh what else? Do you got anything? Ounce? Okay, stoveguard.

00:58:34
Speaker 3: No, don't play the stove gar. You're gonna yell at me because it's grammar more grammar. I don't want to deal with grammar. No grammar, no grammar. Today, give me elephant, I got elephant. And golf carts is grammar. No. Golf carts is two sports announcers talking, let's do that. The first guy says something wrong, the second guy says, oh, you almost said something wrong, and the third guy got play it. Trevor gave golf courses as Christmas gifts to all of his defensive lineman.

00:59:01
Speaker 2: All fourteen of them get golf course. Another run first down right here to a three or four, about three to the thirty seven? You almost said. He gave golf courses to all of them. Should be really impressive, all right, Chris collins Worth, thank you. Yeah, he actually did. He say golf course. All right.

00:59:18
Speaker 4: So here's an expression that always gets completely twisted, scary, it's gonna upset you.

00:59:22
Speaker 2: I think the elephant playing the clip. Oh, the elephant but he didn't do which he didn't talk about the pink elephant in the room. Is that he wants this case truck.

00:59:31
Speaker 3: The pink elephant in the room. It's always the elephant in the room, right, it's the elephant in the room. It's in other words, there's a giant thing in the corner. Nobody's mentioning it. It's the obvious thing. A pink elephant is when you're drunk.

00:59:41
Speaker 2: You're drunk.

00:59:42
Speaker 3: And people said, oh, I saw a pink elephant, all right, so she combined them. It's not the pink elean elephant in the room or the eight hundred pound gorilla. Right, he's eight hundred pound gorilla. But it's not a pink elephant. It's just an elephant, all right. And it can be a pink elephant.

00:59:53
Speaker 2: But it's all right. And we have a couple more plane and framing company Grammar.

00:59:57
Speaker 4: Oh framing company. The guy does a commercial. He's like, send me your pictures, I'll put him in a frame. He starts the commercial by telling you he's very excited, like it's shocking what he framed.

01:00:10
Speaker 2: Play the clip. This is a keepsake frame. This is actually a photo from my wedding. Wow, exciting wedding. Really wow, this is a keepsake frame. This is actually a photo from my wedding.

01:00:31
Speaker 3: What would you expect to well, what would you expect to find in the frame. It's the fact, he says, actually, actually right, this actually guess what are you sitting? I mean, this is groundbreaking. I put a wedding photo in a frame. Hey, pull your car over to the side of the road. You're not gonna believe this. I feel like I feel like commercial. I feel like he's got in the frame. Three out of every four frames have wedding photos in them, so oh no, no, this one is actually actually can you believe that your picture? Because look what I did. I managed to put a square piece of wood around my swear picture. Amazing author itis arthur itis.

01:01:10
Speaker 2: All right, I think that's.

01:01:11
Speaker 3: I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna pray that people leave us talkbacks. Uh yeah, leave us talkbacks and then we'll have a good talk back show recap show for Monday.

01:01:20
Speaker 2: I enjoyed. I enjoyed Slice Time for two eighty two. I did as well. If you didn't hear.

01:01:25
Speaker 4: A say, uh, you got to get him in before we record on Monday. Usually Slice Time, you got to get your talkbacks in before Monday night. Because a couple of people DM me and said, hey, I left your talkbacks Monday night.

01:01:37
Speaker 3: I didn't hear him, so we'll wait. So yeah, but we're going to hear him on the next episode. I mean we're going to hear them.

01:01:42
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, but for this episode, leave us talkbacks before Monday.

01:01:47
Speaker 2: Yes, please. Fifth. I'm gonna go have a happy birthday hopefully.

01:01:50
Speaker 4: I'm very jealous. You're going to Saturday Night Live, very excited. You should take your gold mic with you. Oh you didn't get the.

01:01:56
Speaker 3: Gold Yeah, it's on this way. I got my gold mic. Who else is gonna give you?

01:02:00
Speaker 2: Oh? Hey, by the way, Brody, what that's another gift I got? Oh?

01:02:07
Speaker 3: Come on, man, you can just throw a Pilots swimming pool. You got a swimming pool, right, I do. At the moment this sum I'm not gonna come and beg and gravel to swim in your pool.

01:02:17
Speaker 2: I imagine you're not.

01:02:18
Speaker 3: Because I got a huge gift card from Gandhi just swimply.

01:02:22
Speaker 2: You know what swimply is.

01:02:24
Speaker 3: Is that where little kids go with little like good floating devices on their arms to swim. Swimply is an app, not a sponsor, but they should be. It's the Airbnb of swimming pools. People right out there swimming pools I do. I downloaded the app. I'm not even kidding. I can't make this shit up. I downloaded go swim in some strange person's pool. I downloaded the swim No. Some of these are, dude, the states and mansions. I'm guessing you can use the pool while they're not home, Like let's say some fancy Hampton task like an outdoor outdoor pool in a poolhouse. Yeah, dude, and they're like sixty dollars an hour or fifty dollars an hours. You give me a huge gift cards. She goes have a party, she goes go swimming, and then all you do is you rent the person's pool out. So instead of you know, renting a how many is it?

01:03:09
Speaker 2: Like? Hold on?

01:03:10
Speaker 4: Is it one person? And each person has to pay one person. Everybody you know over you.

01:03:14
Speaker 3: Bring your whole party up to it's up to twenty six guests. Let me ask you a question, Sarah, can I Can I come swim.

01:03:19
Speaker 2: In your swimming No?

01:03:20
Speaker 3: Fuck yourself, you will not be on my guest list when I spend this gift card, you know what you really are from Boys

01:03:36
Speaker 2: Boys