#38: Royals Schmoyals and Skeery Royally Screwed Brody

00:00:00
Speaker 1: Start uf dot up, start Up, Brooklyn buy start Up, Brooklyn buys dot Up. They make it noise, dot up, dot Up. Episode eight, The Long Away. You're right there, Bertie, have to plug your mic in first. You're right there, David Brodie, Oh my god, this is the best podcast ever. It's on. You's on. Oh, it's a great team. Michael, you're trying to there's no mic here. You swung the Greg team micro ras you told me to on the fifty minute Morning Show. Okay, so we're sitting in the Elvis Drain Morning Show studio. Hi everybody, Hi everybody, because you're setting me up for failure. I'm not sure we should start on a positive. Okay, a positive. I'm glad to be back. We took off two weeks because we had to get on a cruise ship, the Norwegian Bliss Love It. She's the best, the best time, best time, and and then go carts and then someone we came back and someone stole our microphones. And then now you're swinging microphones. Okay, So where I sit in the Elvis straight in Morning show studio. They took the microphone to bring it down to Miami for our broadcast. This weekend at the Eden Rock Miami Beach Hotel that we're going to sponsor um and so not of this podcast, but of the Elvistar Morning show, their partner of ours, and we're going down there, and they took some of the mics, so I had to swing around the other mike where Great t sits during the morning show. And you forgot that I did that and you had the other mic because to me, you're in the same position that you're always in I am, which is, by the way, FT, that's my missionary No, just FT in general. That was a funny sign that we found the missionary church. Yeah, sign, very funny. And I got to that. The want to talk about the other sign that you don't send it to us anymore. That's a great sign, the great sign. But we got it. It's got there's got to be a sign rule when something's viral, there's got to be a rule, like after three days, you know, send it to us. Yes, someone I think Jerry or fat Jew posted it and then it went viral. Okay, So the one we're talking about is Kansas City welcomes twenty five million visitors anally, National Travel Tourism Weekly and uh you know, I said, people like, oh, just see the sign and go would say it, I'm already in Kansas Kansas City grammar police to the rescue, right, don't. It doesn't even tell you which Kansas City it is Missouri. Here it's the only Kansas City I know. I mean, I know this Kansas City, Kansas. Oh, you know. It's a lot of a lot of people get that confused when when people think Kansas City like the like the big city, the metropolis Missouri. Kansas City, Missouri is the state of Missouri. So when people say what state is Kansas City and both, it is in both the right next to each other, across the river or whatever. I heard. Kansas City, Kansas is a dump. Okay, I'm we're not. We're not looking to a friend anyone. I'm just saying that's what I heard. Kansas City, Kansas is more rural. We're farmland. Kansas City, Missouri is where the Kansas City royals are and Kansas City chiefs. It's it's more of a that's like New York City, and then there's West New York that's in New Jersey. Anyway, we have the sign. We don't like seventy three people. Also, I already know about the ice cream catchup. I'm good with that. We've got like eight of them. Yeah, I got We're good you for thinking of me. Guys know I'm gonna catch up aholic. All right, So let me just tell you about about my week if you don't mind, and I want to hear about your week where we want? Yeah? Yeah, Well, first of all, we went someplace together. Let's start with that. Yeah. So we went on Thursday two weeks ago, the six or something like that. We went on Norwegian Bliss Thursday, Friday, Saturday, came home Sunday. What a great ship. Well, now you know, I'm a cruise person. I've been on a lot of cruises. The last bunch i've all been on Norwegian. I like it. I don't want to get into what I like it, but it's my favorite. You can tweet and me me I'll tell you what. We went on their newest ship, which they made us the godparents of, and I have to tell you I took advantage of that. How did you do that? Well? They have these activities like the go carts, which are unbelievable. I believe they have a full go cart track, car track on the roof a quarter mile long, and then they have the no joke again, not because we went on the ship. The best laser Tag I've ever played. It's a company that does laser tag, confessional laser Tag now. Sometimes when you play laser tag, you have like a little peep gun and you shoot people on their vest and kids playing in nineties, it was like light off the gun they have on the ship. It's it's like a combat company that has like they they set up these laser tag worlds all over the country. Right I don't remember the name. I have to look it up. But you're in this like metal warehouse with metal boxes and it's a real environment feel to it. You feel like you're in a video game. Your opponent comes in one side, the you're on the team, they come in one end of this building. You come in again. It's it's on a cruise ship and they give you these guns. They're heavy, like actual like if you're in a sci fi movie, like they looked like, well we shoulder strap. They're heavy and you can either shoot regular boom boom boom, or you can hold the turbo button on the side right or you can make it tighten mode. Where you hold the button down close. It's close, and so you you hold down the titan button and it goes, it powers up and anyone you shoot is dead instantly. Well that's not fair. It sounds like you could just hold the button down the whole time. No, because while you're doing that, you're getting shot at. Like you can't just stand there going. But if you have a second to do it anyway, it's the best I played. I scanned up my knee because I said, don't run, but I ran, I ran, I ran. I felt well because I came around a turn really fast, and there was a guy far in, a foreign guy, didn't speak a lout of English, and and he My point was his teammates were yelling at him to look out behind me, but he didn't understand. So I stuck up behind him. I came around the turn, and you know when you're going up a staircase, yeah, and maybe you're in the dark and you expect one more step and there's no step there and you go booloo, right, or when you're going down the steps and you think there's one more step and you short like yourself. There was a ramp, so I came around the turn and it was an incline and went up. So I came around and I shortlegged myself and I went and I went down on my knee. But as I'm down on the floor, bleeding out of my knee, I'm still shooting the guy. You know. Up on the racetrack, I had a little inches incident. You know, there's a Formula one race cars. They were these cars go thirty miles and they had at full speed, and I guess I got lapped by Nate and then he rear ended me. And then he did he rear ended me right in the back. I passed everyone. I live for go cards. I'm not there for the fun you're growing up, you know, you know, I'm there to pass people. Let me tell you what sucked as a kid when I was I guess it was a Disney World that does this where they had those little you know, the cars. And this was long before I got my license. So I'm like twelve years old and I'm oh, the auto speedway Auto speedway. But the thing is you're in You're on a car that's on a track already, so it's it's it's kind of a psych out. You think you have control and you're steering a call sort of sort of due, but like there's these the metal divider. No, it's one metal divide. Metal. It's a hump yeah, right, and the car doesn't go straight. It pulls left and right right, and then you can steer slightly. But at some point it the metal one metal divider is gonna hit the bumper guard and the car is gonna go back in the other direction. You don't have full control, and I felt I was deflated as a kid. I remember standing in that line for ninety minutes. I'm gonna get to drive a car today and it has a gas pedal and a break and no, sorry, kid, you have about maybe five inches wiggle room on each side. As an adult, I've mastered the Disneyland Speedway and I can control it most of the time. Where I feel it pulling, I go to the way without and I what had the problem is if you've got a kid in front of you, by the way, Disneyland, keep your kids out of my way. Like I understand it's for kids, but I what I do is I'll wait at the start line. I'll let the kid in front of me get really far ahead, because I want to like race people. And if you have like like little Jimmy in front of you, like he look, Jimmy, go and he's like, yeah, we pulled to the left, pulled to the right. No, I'm an adult. I know I don't belong on this ride, but I'm gonna win anyway. Not bumper cars. They're getting rid of that, by the way, getting Ripeedway the last time I was there, I know. But the problem is in this smartphone generation, those cars are like wow, I love it. Do you even notice the bumper cars? They used to just overload the entire field so there was too many cars for anyone to go anywhere, at least where I went. I don't know. I used to go to a bumper car place slot and I'm like, I did, you don't have twenty freaking cars. Everyone's bumping into everybody and there's no no one can go around the front. Well, if they haven't around the track like a center island they do. I would race people because I race. I just don't have to race people. Some places have no center and you just go bumping into But is the bumper cars is the key? Is the purpose to bump people or to just drive around the track without being bumped, because there's what kind of mood you're in there. I was not a bumper guy. I hate but everyone's like bumping into you, bumping bumping. I'm like, stop it, this is not fun. I will side bump you if you're in my way if I'm racing you, but don't be that guy. When I get stuck against the wall, you come up by me back. That hurts my neck. Or if somebody hits somebody's trapped and they get bumped into the into like a corner, somebody else comes from and said they bumps them again, they double bumped them. You know I just said that, right, the double bump, double bump. Okay, So so anyway, let me tell how I godfathered the cruise. So the you had to make an appointment to go on the Laser Tag, right because they had like teams of eight and if you got there and they were full, they had to weight. So I get there and Danielle and Froggy from our show and their families are walking away from Laser Tag and I'm taking my kids to Lazer Tag. Were we guys going, We don't have a reservation. We gotta come back, really get off from Brooklyn. So I go up and I go do the lazer tag with my kids. I'm sorry, we're booked up in Toil of Sorry. And by the way, the staff there couldn't be nicer, the friendliest, nicest people on the planet. They jump out of doorways to say hello. Did no, I'm telling you they're nice people. Well, I'll tell you what I did. So I said, oh, I can't. Um. So you know what, I've been running around all day. You know, I'm one of the godfathers of the ship, and and and they have us. We were filming videos, we were doing all kinds of stuff for promotional. I said, I've been We've been like running around. I didn't. I didn't. They didn't tell me, Oh, you're a godfather's ship. Yeah. And I've been just so busy because give me a card. I give him my you know, my room key, which is your access you're you pay with it and everything. He goes, oh, oh, Mr Brody, is wait a second, is that true? Does it say that in the came up in my file and the account. So he goes, oh, oh yeah. He goes, oh, tell me sorry, get him guns. And so they they expanded the size of the teams. Then Scotty b comes out from our show. He had just been on it, So now the teams aren't even It's like it's like eight on five. So I'm like, he'll play and I go he's with us, and he gets on and plays again, and we played eight on eight instead of it was gonna be like five on five. So I guess membership has this privilege. Oh, it certainly does. You you, but you always come down on me for doing that. Um with getting tables at restaurants. And by the way, let me tell you this, I know that other people do this for other professions. Do you know that if you call, like, let's say, a restaurant where you can't get a table out of a reservation, Yeah, you say this is for Dr so and so, they immediately give you. Um. You know. Now the only benefit to the restaurant is if somebody chokes as a doctor there. Yes, but the doctor doesn't have major social media accounts like you do. Right, it's better to have you there. But for some reason, if you put like a really important or an attorney, if you make yourself some more important comedy writer, doesn't work. No, I've tried it. But but think about the profession that you have. How could you make it sound fancy if you're doing something that you can't get a reservation at, and it could be anything, not just a restaurant. You saw Jennifer Lopez, Jennifer Jennifer Lawrence tried to get a table in Brooklyn and a fancy restaurant was Lopez. No, it's Jennifer LaRence j Um and they said, oh, you want a table, that's great, way by the ball, we'll see in a half hour. They totally were like, no, he thought she wasn't godfather the rest. Oh, I meant to tell you this plays into this. So the night before so I went back on Bliss in Miami after we got off in New York. I went back on in Miami. When we were on vacation last week, which, by the way, is why we haven't had a podcast in three weeks. There was that Bliss week which was shortened and we couldn't do one, and then last week we were on vacation. So well, you were on vacation. I wasn't. I was on vacation. But I didn't get to do a Walkers and Talkers podcast either, because my wife took my oldest daughter to San Francisco and left me with the kids that I took on the cruise and said, well, you guys went away, we're gonna go away. And so I had to do daddy driving, and again not mommy daddy, just I had to be in charge of the kids. And because normally my wife takes care of the kids and then goes to her job, well because she works at nine, so she takes them to school. I had to wake up at six thirty on my vacation, which isn't that much later than the morning show. Waking up at four thirty whatever. I had to wake them up, helped them get you know, nagged him to get up, then go for bagels, take him to school, pick him up, drive him here, drive him there, pick him to work, take him to this. By the time I got home, I was all exhausted. You know. My biggest my biggest problem on vacation. I mean, you sound like you had a lot to work. You didn't know where to drink next or what. I was like, Oh my god, it's Wednesday. My Fresh Direct delivery is coming. Oh I got the Fresh Direct by the way. Scary that planet jingles some guys missed that jingle. I know you did, so that's why I slipped that in there on purpose for everybody. But by the way, yes, so Fresh Direct. I was like, oh my god, the food's coming in. It's gonna go rotten. So I had to call them and tell them not to make my delivery was gonna be at That was the only thing I was responsible for. That's what happens when you live alone. Kids. Listen. I love spending time with my kids, but there was no time. Normally, when I do on vacation, I'll do uh we call it on the Walkers and Talkers. I'll call Jamie my coast and go, I'm calling from the uh the car studio. I'll go on my garage and I'll get in my car and I'll say, brought to you by Dodge, calling you from the car studio. But I could, I'd have the strength of the time to do that. So I have done any podcasts, so so this isn't where my days looking like. I used an hour long Walkers and Talkers podcast episode one on seven. That's how many we've done there. So one on seven goes up the same day this goes up. So now we can do at least an hour here, right, So I was in the middle of something, but you were also gonna side. Oh yeah, we we got Fresh Direct was kind enough to send this all food, right, And I'm only saying this not because they're a sponsor. So the food came Monday while I was running errands. I come home. It's on the porch, right, I take I take a picture of it because I'm excited that's there. And I bring in the house and I gotta run out for a little while. I gotta run an errand I gotta go get some stuff ready for our trip to Florida. So I come home now, my wife and kids are home. They've torn through that orange bag from Fresh Direct. They they ate the cramp cakes. They're telling me, Oh, it was the best or zo salad I've ever had. I don't I didn't get any again, I'm not doing this. I don't get paid. They went through, they said, what was the other thing they loved? Um, Well, I could tell you because this was another because I was by myself and I don't know what. Yeah, so I got the fruit. I got the blackberries that were incredible. Anyway, Oh you know what I did get I'm having it tonight for dinner in a box. That steak that came with onion rolls and all the side dishes all in one little box. Was a burger. No, it was burgers. It was some kind of fancy burger. I made mine yesterday afternoon for lunch. It was burgers and onion rolls and uh some potatoes onions whatever. Mine was for two and I ate both. I bet you did. I really did. Oh so so So the side track, sidetrack, sidetrack back to what happened to me in Miami went because I was on Bliss. I was on Bliss there. Um. I had to stay at a hotel room first the night before and Bliss um thankfully picked up the tab because they flew me in early. So they said they booked it under Norwegian Bliss. So when I got there, they upgraded me three times. They thought I was a Norwegian Bliss like high flute and executive. They sent me like a welcome package, chocolates and cheeses. No, they didn't know it was me. They thought I was because they said it said BLI, maybe you were Andy the CEO. They thought that. They figured, you know, hotels in Miami and they work with the Bliss people, and maybe Bliss couldn't man, you know, put their passengers in their hotel. So when you when you have the Bliss name on your title, that that worked really well. So I got this the finest treatment and I couldn't. I was sitting at lunch by myself and the guy comes up to me, the manager, he goes of the restaurant. He goes, hey, so I understand Mr Skier. He called me Mr Skyer because uh so you do uh You're you're with Norwegian Bless huh. And at first I was like, I'm just eating my lunch and I'm like, yeah, I met with Norwegian Bliss. And he's like, well, you know, I I cruised forever with another company and I was this person. I was one of the cruise directors and this one let me tell you, I might want to get back into that. And I'm like, a yeah, he's hit me up for a job. Meanwhile, I'm like, I don't have the hard to tell him. But I told him like, dude, I'm just I'm just I'm just a passenger. And they yeah, by the way, so the first day we got on the ship was Thursday. Yeah, we spent how many hours we were filming promotional videos for for them, which was great, but a lot of the videos was us like you me, Elvis, Dan, Yeah, a bunch of us with with six of us or godparents, seven us, Froggy and and so, Greg t and uh. We had to film these promotional videos and a lot of them had us like drinking at the Mohito bar. We had mohitos at another bar and the rest we had all these drinks, Starbucks whatever. Had well, by the time we were done filming, we had SIPs of like thirteen drinks. That's like a couple of drinks. It was a lot of drinking and I don't really drink, so I had like, how did you feel? Um? Well, I I After a while, I kept like spitting it back in the glass. But those mohitos were really good. I have to say that little I had blue curros ow and one of them. I don't know, but we we. I gotta say, you know, filming and working being an actor's hard. Like we were like, yeah, we were mike out. They were running wires around us, and I made the mistake of wearing a V neck. You guys had somebody had buttoned down right at a button down. So if you have a button down the way when you put put mikes on, if you ever seen on television a Lavalier, you put a little battery pack on your butt right in your back pocket, right, and then they run a wire a microphone up your shirt. And if you have a button down shirt, men, uh, you you pin it like into the button, like between the buttons, and it's in and the flap goes over and you don't see it. You wear a V neck, there's nowhere to hide it. So they had they I had to wear a man's z ear. So they had to put like um an elastic band around my top area of machesti and then it's got a clip in it and then the microphone clips into that right. So I had to wear a like a like a bra almost around me because I wore a stupid V neck something that Danielle. The battery pack is the size of a small brick, and she was wearing a skirt. They had to first of all three people had to block her out and she's all right, is the coast clear, okay? And she had to go behind and they had a jammed the battery pack up her skirt. She had to do it herself. She had to actually have Dina with the pink hair, the girl who love her. She had to actually fix Danielle. I mean, if you're a woman and you have to wear one of those things, forget it. I'm like Danielle where where. By the way, the guy who wired us up, nice guy. He was the boom guy. Now, if you don't know what a boom Mike is, it's the It's the one that they bring like from It's on a big stick and they stick it out and it goes above you. But you wouldn't see it in the camera. I like the boom, right, so it's in case you walk away and Mike doesn't pick up. As a secondary, they lower the boom, so to speak. So when I saw the guy, I was, you know, a little tipsy from the all the drinks at the beginning, and when he walked by, went boom, and he looked at me like either he didn't get it or he's heard a billion times, probably the latter. So I apologize. I think his name was Lulu. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I boomed you, Lou And oh dude, forget about the episode. Me sleeping in Elvis's bed. That was so weird. I had to sleep in his bed at Elvis had the room in New York, and then I had that same exact room in Miami and we were definitely the next ones to use it. And I just kept thinking that I know, yeah, well I can tell you is that every time I was on the toilet and like Elvis sat on this toilet, see the bed, Elvis was in this bed. Well you remember the time I'm like, what am I supposed to We had a hotel, uh, the Chambers Hotel in New York that really nice, nice, like what do they call it? A boutique hotel? It was, yeah, boutique. It's very fancy expensive. So they gave us all like the President's Suite whatever. The sweet was a one night deal that all of us could weekends on weekends, on weekends, right, so we all lined up like eight weekends in a row, but some of us one Friday night, someone was one Saturday night, back to back nights, and it was one of these hotels were like a concrete floor. It wasn't carpeting. It was kind of like artsy FARTZI but then this giant shower with a seat and it was all glass like in the middle of the room, so like you could see the bed from the shower kind of hot, right, So all of us did what we ever did in the shower on the bed in that room. Yeah, like it was two thousand seven. Yeah, I know, I know what it was. And so whatever the cast, whatever, the cast members of our Morning Shore in two thou seven, we all wrecked the place. And then we all knew that we had all been there. I didn't. I went like second or third, and even then I was like, I think Elvis had it last, not because it's Elvis, just in general, I think that they cleaned it. Um I saw. I'll tell you. Being home all week, I had a lot of things take care of, so I want to tell you. People were like, oh, I bet he has some rants. When you get back, we want free dessert. So I'm not gonna get to all of these, but I want to. I want to tell you one day, I had three fights on the same day. Here are some of the one. In the coming weeks, you're gonna hear all of these. I had a fight with Direct TV. I had to get free dessert from autos Way when do you not fight with that Direct TV? Hold on now? Yeah? Oh, and I tell you that dumb by the way, Direct TV is gonna be my rant today. I had an issue with auto zone. I got free to zone. I had a fight with TV bank. Um oh I had. I got an annoyed with a guy who kept saying a catchphrase at the car wash. I'll tell you what he said. I'm pissed at you. That would get into today. I had a fight with satellite radio. I had a I had. I yelled at my uber driver at one point I went, dude, I'll tell you about that. I have the one from a month ago, the crazy rant about pepsi. That one's comment, it won't be today. You're gonna have the pepsi rant. The um the blood clinic, the place that you give blood, they test your blood. Oh, major problems with them. That's gonna be an ongoing thing. Wei had how they afked me there. I had a problem with my cell phone company over the SIM card. F you cell phone company. Um. And then this is an issue with Bedbath, bed Beth and Beyond. I had an issue with a customer not Bedbath had issued with a customer. His name is Todd in advance. I'm telling you, f you Todd, I'm giving you an advance there. But I also want to say rubber Maide, rubber Maid, they make, they make garbage. I want to give it. I'm always complaining about companies, all right, I got a lot of I'm I had a week and a half. This was just from a week, and I feel like you're gonna say something nice. Okay. So in my kitchen, there's a spot between the stove and the wall that separates the dining room. There's a small wall, like a short wall. There's exactly nine and like, uh three quarters inches between the stove and the wall. There's one garbage pail on the planet, one tall kitchen garbage pail on the planet that fits in that spot. Anyone any other ten and a half inches. All the ones that say slim garbage pail, they don't fit in this spot. You you've done your research. Yeah, please, the whole internet. Don't tell me about simple human f them that pails it to wine. I like them, but they say slim. They're not slim enough. Okay. Umbro Umbro is not slim enough. No, not target home deepot. They don't make one, rubber made, rubber one. They used to sell them in black, silver, and white. They only come in white now, so it's plastic. I really want a stainless steel can. There's nowhere else in my kitchen the way it's laid out that I can put a garbage can. It makes sense. There isn't this one spot. My life depends on rubber maid. The problem would have plastic garbage pail is after a while, the little plastic pedal breaks. Yeah, the little nubs break off that go into holes that make it a hinge that it pops the lid up, so the thing breaks. I buy them every year. I have no choice. It's the only pail. So I called rubber made up and I remember the last time I bought one from rubber made was last summer. So I call it rubber made and I and I've never never called them before. I usually just buy a new pail. But I'm like, you know, let me see if they have the part or may they go. I'm so sorry, sir, we we we don't. We don't sell the parts. I can put your garbage pails thirty five dollars whatever it is. Can I just get the part I need a little thing. Yeah, we don't see. I'm so sorry. Oh, I know what they're gonna do. So I said, well, what do I do? I got the pail. I can't lift the lit up. When did you buy it? They did the right thing, I said, last summer, when like it was around July four, I remember, because we had a barbecue. I need a new pail. I remember when we know I don't have the receipt though, not a problem. We'll take your word for it. We'll send you a new pail. Of course they did. That's the right thing to do. Within a week, I had a new garbage pail. So kudos, kudos. We like to catch people doing something right. Yeah, now, rubber made you did right. They may have known who I was as the guy no, no no no, I don't mean like as being like on the radio show. I mean like as the pain and he asked customer that complains. No. I was very polite, but when I told him, I said, really, I really love the garbage pail. It's like there's no other pail. If they stopped making this pail, I'm screwed. I'm gonna have to buy five of them and keep them in your shed because they's thirty five. I don't have a hundred and fifty to lay out I have. I have a backup dirty one in the attic that that thoughts better days. But I can't take the pots off because it's skanky anyway. Um uh. I either need to buy a smaller stove or knock the wall down. Those are my options. So so Rubber made I love you. Now we really should talk about at least touch on why I'm pissed at you. Well, there's that, But what doesn't have anything to do what we talked about on the show this morning that Elvis said that we were gonna talk about in the book of it has to do what something you do every for again semester every on that, Um, we just gotta address we talked about that. I was okay brody being an only child. I made a joke about Barbara Cochrane from Schalk Tank. She was out talking to Fresh Direct again. I don't get paid by Fresh Direct. They came up brought us breakfast today. Barbara Corran was out, oh sampling the food. So I said, because if you watch Shark Tank you get the joke. I said, Oh, Boba Cochrane's out there. She probably already owns the company, because that's what you do. They buy part of the company. Now, I maybe I half heard it, but I don't think I really did. I know, I knew how you didn't do it on purpose. Laugh, And I said something, and I started walking out. I started pulling a castanza. By the way, it's twenty years since the finale of Seinfeld this month. So I started walking out because everyone laughed at my joke that Bob cochran, and you said, Barbara Coran will give you fifty dollars for a steak and fresh direct, right, And you said it says it on the bottom of the screen, and I could see the graphic on the bottom of screen. So I looked at you as I'm walking out, and I said, yeah, I just told that joke. Yeah, but you told an abbreviated version. And I was half paying attention to them, know, And then you said, and then you sex, I didn't say this on the big show. You said what I I added to it? I said it it's on the bottom of the screen, the thing. And as soon as the door slammed, let me tell you what Elvis you talked about. Elvis said, no, he started it, he said, wow, he don't steal Brodie's jokes. Get some very angry. I said, well, I said, well that's a deeper problem there, and he was, what are you talking about? And what we talked about on the show was where we picked that up. And I said, I think that a lot of Brodie's debates and anger and rage and the need to be right and the need to have the final word, that everything that makes Brodie Brodie stems from his upbringing as an only child. Because and hear me out, and I'm trying to be rational about this, and I want to get into a fight like we did, because we were we were screaming on the morning show and listen to the on demand channel four and all. All I'm saying is that if you grow up in a in a in a household where you're the only child, you pretty much have you're pretty much right all the time. Either it's it's up to your parents to tell you you're not so. But when you're like me or someone in in a group setting with family with kids, women, sorry, with kids other like brothers and sisters, siblings, you guys, everybody has to fight and jockey for position and at the end of the day, there's a lot of debate, and you become a stronger person because of it. Not saying that you're weak, but you end up coming to compromises or bowing out, or letting things roll off your chest a little bit more or you you know, there's there's sacrifice and and I'm sorry, but I think that you are a product of your own youth, of your own upbringing, and as we all are. And there's gotta be a little bit of all a little bit of a childhood and all of us that we carry to do so it's called single child. So after so, after you made that commentary, I said to you, as nothing to do with that has to do the fact that I'm a comedy writer. It don't has to do with the fact that we all have our one thing. Right If Michael Jordan's has his thing, he's a basketball player, that's his thing, right, right, Lebron has his thing. I'm funny. You know who I am is funny? Funny? I don't have high and are yeah, well, I listen, I'm not sure that everything I say is funny. I appreciate the feedback that people tell me I'm funny, but If I tell a joke and people laugh in the room, right, that's my creativity. That's my mind coming up with something that's not watching Jimmy Fallon and telling the same joke he did, Love Him Love. Lucas Prada and I did a song in two thousand and six for the Mets. He had a big hit called and she said, and I rewrote the lyrics, called him up. He's like, I'll do it. We change it to and she's and we say, let's go Mets. They played at the Stadium, they played the World Great Playoffs. It was great. The didn't make the World Series, but they played it everywhere, laving Okay. So if that's who you are, like, that's what I got. I have a lot of things in my life, but being funny is one of them. I don't. I don't like. I'm not the guy who tells jokes. To tell a joke like guy walkes into a ball, I don't tell those jokes. I create content. I write song parodies, I create lyrics. I create something. Right, it would be like a painter making a painting and then someone else going into looking at the painting and painting a replica of it. Oh you know. What's a great example of that is the the the Raging Bull in front of Wall Street. It's a statue of the bull, and then somebody comes along and puts the girl statue next to it, and now then and now help me. The analogy, No, the analogy would be another person putting another bill bull next to it and go, look, I made a bull. It's like it's like, Okay, there's a famous place, you know, the place I don't want to get into specifics, the famous pizza place you and I love. Right, one of the guys who used to work there, took the recipe, opened up his own place, made the same exact pizza right with a similar name, similar right if thirty miles away, and pretended it wasn't the same. What happened He got a back to his head and he ended up in the hospital because he stole a recipe that someone had created and cultivated and made funny. Is I did this right in front of you, and if I had a bat, I would have hit you with it. All I'm telling you. What I'm saying is that's who I am. Right, So I create this content, I make a joke top of my head, and you go oh, tell the same joke, right, you heard it, you sort of heard it, you told it slightly differently, and then said, you know on the bottom of the screen that would be there. You kind of tagged to make it your own. So I said, scary. Now, you do this all the time we're on the Big Show. Elvis will say something like, yes, uh, that's why now is a great time of year to eat grilled cheese, and you'll go, oh, you know what else it is? It's a great time of cheese. But I gotta be honest with you. That's because I was doing something else and I didn't hear him saying okay, now when Elvis gets mad at you for that, but do you say it's because Elvis has siblings or grol cheese only child. No point is this. If the worlds were reversed and I was, I would never steal your joke. But no, forget it. Hypothetic, hypothetic. It could have been a different situation that maybe they didn't have to do with jokes, Maybe an idea if the flip, if the idea was was flipped flopped because of the person I am, as an adult, me walking out of a room, even hearing you do the punch line again. Most I would probably continue walking or just look at you and laugh and be like, you know, you try to amplify me. Or I would make a joke. The point is you have to come back in the room and say that was my joke. Okay, I didn't come back in the room. First of all, I'm just I'm just saying, let me tell you why I said it. It has to do with the character we've built it. No, it doesn't. I'll tell you why I said it, because you do that all the time. You have listened and you repeat things that we hold on. So I said. I didn't say it angrily, I said scary. I just made that joke. I said it with a smile on my face, and I made it a joke, figuring the people in the room would then tease you for typically not paying attention like you. But here's that they wasn't me trying to be right. But when we did this on the show, we had text messengers. They did not half of them agree with me. They did, yes, they I'm reading them all right now. They're on my screen. They said scarier and saying you're an idiot, You're a douche. Yeah, bullshit, there's a few of them. One person said, I work with someone who's an only child, and five people in a row. And guess what all five people I t see the little envelope box. Brody responded to each one. Because of your need to be right, you absolutely, yes, you did, like on this one. That's I wrote one one back. I wrote, one person, I agree with scary. I know a couple of only childs and they always feel that they deserve yeah, that way, that they're that way because they don't know how to share. I didn't write back to that person. That person, you did not right back to. You wrote back to five others. I did not. I didn't write back to any of the ones that agree with Brody or called me out. I wrote, the guy said that I needed a lobotomy. That is scary? Is crazy? Did? I wrote back to one person. I'll tell you what I wrote. I wrote not. In this case. They said I worked with us. Uh. They said I work with an only child who has only I'm telling you what I did. Who says they have only child syndrome and they always need to be right, And I said that doesn't apply in this case. My roommate is an only child, and only child syndrome is a real thing. I will tell you you wrote to you responded to that one and they say what I say? And then and then the other person, what did I say? I will you want men to look at it? Click on it to click on the stricken thing. I don't know where what button hit the one on the left. You click the phone number of the phone number? Okay, all right? So what what did you write? Messages? And then you wrote maybe but not in this case, right, that's the one I replied to, but you okay. Then the other one wrote scary is right, and then you wrote you wrote messages, scary is never right. That was a joke. That's to be funny. I didn't say you were wrong or I was right, said scary never right. That was a joke. But there were other ones here that agreed with me absolutely. But there are some people agree with you. I think it was more. You'd like to believe that, but it was not. I'll count them out, count them out right now. Why don't you Why don't you put put Scary Brody on a piece of paper because I can't. I'm good dude. I will read everything here, and I'll be honest if I'm wrong, and I come out with egg on my face. Here we go, loving the show today. Podcasts are great. We're gonna scroll it up. Scary looks like La La Kent's boyfriend. I don't even oh that that's funny. I oh that picture from Twitter? Come on, all right, hold on. People don't want to listen to this, Yes they do, all right, Okay. The first person wrote the roommate one, Okay, that's scary. The next person wrote, scary is right? All right, well, and then the next one wrote, scary is right. Hold on, here comes here comes They hate Scary hate Scary. Why is Scary blaming only children that there's one for me? Okay? Uh? Then I agree with Scary. I know a couple of the one I just read you all right, he's dense. Yep, that's one for me. Okay. What the hell is Scary saying that's one for me? Why do Scary think that people who didn't have siblings didn't also have friends for me? You have the issue, Scary, that one for me? That's fine? Okay, this that one continues, Uh, Scary, just take the l that's the loss. Ye read twelve dead Comedians. I don't know what that is a reference to this sounds like a judge Crotch reads twelve Comedians. It talks about how comics have a right to defend the material. That's one for me. Okay, ask Scary if he blames a woman's period for being emotional. That's one for me. Scary needs a little botomy, that's one for me, all right, And he's no, no, no no no no no no no no. And one other one that just says, let got aside with Scary on this one. Yeah, that's it. Lost nine to five. That's not all right. Listen, thank you you said one person, thank you shut up man, not your dick. Okay, you like that when I call you that, they do that, Yeah, because that's your thing you got. It's not all I got. It's it's just like, because of the person I am as an adults, I'm dismissing. And if you'd like to hear Scary tell jokes, what I'll do is I'll tell one and then he'll hear it a minute later. That sounds good, all right, we've solved that. Now to be crush it. I think we crushed boy. Oh yeah, we're fine. We don't like each other any less. People people think that there's animosity towards us because we talk about this ship. No, by the way, people, we talked about this in the fifty minute Morning Show today, which by the way, was really good. It was just Elvis, Danielle and me. And yes, it's me not I. Um. I defended you on you on Twitter when someone said you said it's my mom and me and they're like, no, scaries of my mom and I. No it's not. It's not a picture of I. It's a picture of mom. It's a picture of me. Thank you for coming to my rescue. What did you talk about on that? And by the way, talk behind my back? By the way, I voiced texted a tweet today in response to Bethany from Our show formerly of our show, and the voice text used the wrong too, and to be like, oh, I'm screenshotting this for scary for grammar police. I don't have an issue with knowing which to to write. Okay, my phone may have, but I don't. Anyway, So well, I was just talking about you just you were talking about how are you on the podcast? Right right right right, Yeah, the fifteen minute Morning show podcast. He was just you and Dan Yelle and and Elvis. What did you talk about? Can't remember you just said that you defended me or there was some other things going on there. Whatever, mind shit, all right, it's okay. We have by the way, yeah, come later the Row wedding. Zero Fox given. I I don't get it, zero Fox given zero And I think we're on the same page on this. And I'll tell you why. I'm even more upset. I like suits on on USA and the fact that Merrill Markle Megan Markle is leaving and Patrick J. Adams, who's her her husband or boyfriend fiance? I forget what they're married or not? Um on the show he's leaving partly because she's leaving. Fun there all I you know, I know, we're just again, We're not gonna make this about this, but I just have to get this point out there. UM. I never understood why are we talking about? Um A fairy tale, fictitious, A bunch of people who are not in power from overseas. Why why do we care? Why do we have to wake up at six o'clock on US A fucking five o'clock CNN is going alive and we revolted to get it. We formed this country specifically to get away from a monarchy that was taxing us without representation. The monarchy was why we got out of there. Now, people in America who work hard for a living, who who want their fair share right, and don't live the life that these people live the heartland of America's people like to call themselves right, the ones who are working in the in the factories, who bust their ass work two jobs. You're gonna idolize people who wake up rich and did nothing but be born, who the minute they're born, their princes and princesses and they're royal and their ear marked to be kings and queens, who have done nothing or nothing, and they don't have a say in government. They're not even in parliament, do they even have a seat. I know people call like the Kardashians the blah blah. I get it. I I don't understand why people like the Kardassians either. The Kardassians are rich, but at least the Kardassians have businesses and there to people outside the country. But why do we give a fuck? Why do we what's the allure about it? Okay, here, so I think listen and I know the big show Elvis, everybody did this. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna I'm gonna offend some people. But I don't want to know why I remembered what I wanted to talk about New York accent. Okay, right, Barbara Corchrane, Barbara, why why do people care so much? Because I gotta tell you a lot of people don't care. I mean, there is only there's a niche audience of people that are into this. Okay, I'll tell you why people like to live likes and they women. I'm gonna say, I'm gonna analyze. I say, more women than men. More women, not all women, not all men. They like to read fantasy novels and romance novels and and imagine a better world where men are more romantic and they sweep you off your feet. But that's not reality. Hold on Disney movies that women find the prince and sweep them off their feet. Now frozen through all out the window, no spoiler, but frozen through it out the window, the whole prince thing. Okay, but some people are raised to believe, like, oh, this night, this prince is going to change my life the whole thing. Now again, a guy could marry a princess and can go to the way as well. But a guy, I look at that as a guy. I can't speak for all guys. I'm not looking to stereotype. I'm saying as a guy me a guy. I look at that and go funk that guy because he's not working up he goes, Yeah, he goes in the military. I get it, God bless him. But he's got horses and palaces and it's all handed to him. And I look and I go fuck him. I've worked my ass off my whole life, but basically middle class. I've busted my ass, worked multiple jobs for thirty and a hundred with no chance of princehood. Like, it's not if you work hard you can. So why should we shine a light on them? Why am I? Why you care? Why do we care? It's the same reason why people like I gotta see the Kardashian baby. People magazine gives them a million dollars for photos. You know what the kid looks like every other freaking kid. Oh, you know, as a cute baby. Everyone, Oh did you see so and so they have a cute baby? You know? Else. Everyone ugly people have pretty babies, attractive people of ugly everybody's got babies. Do you see the beautiful dress that she's wearing. Guess what, everybody else has a dress. It's similar. I don't need to see. It's got a forty foot train and men and and beef beef eater outfits. Just it's just this. You just feed into it. It's like it's like a soap oper. If there was a movie, I'd watch it. It's interesting watch it as a movie. But the fact that Megan Markle can never work again, First of all, did you's not gonna an actress anymore? It doesn't have to be. But that would be like, wouldn't look good on the royal family, the fact that they're inbreeding. It wouldn't sleeping with their own cousins. That's the on a problem. But she shouldn't work again. That okay. I know people like tradition and it's oh, it's the real family, and I no, I don't care. So we don't even have to have respect for them, is what you're saying. Look, I know people are like getting upset right now, some of them. I know that Prince William Moore Lady Diana, Princess Diana. I know they've done good work. I know they did charity work. I know a lot of them use their their positions to do good work. Now you're talking, Now you're starting to come around a little bit. Here's an idea, sell your castle and feed every hungry person in England. How about that? How about how about that? So? Yeah, you know what if I was a multibillionaire without having to work a day in my life and living a castle whatever, having to pay rent, and I had all the clothing made for me and chefs cooking for me, guess what I would do charity work too. I would go and hang out at orphanages and I would help them, and I would wave to people in cars at you know, the convertibles. I would go make good day. I would go help people in the street. You know what, I don't get to do that because I'm working my ass off. Now Can I go work at an animal shelter again? I could do all that, not on the level that these princes and princesses can do. I get that there's some value they do good work, but other than that, there's people living in poverty in their country. Every country, every country all over the world. Their tax money in England goes towards buying and providing so that these people can live with no authority, no power. Ridiculous, ridiculous. I'm done good, I'm done too. I got I go another hour, and I was done before I started. I just I don't get it. I I you know, let me and don't get me wrong. My wife and daughters are gonna wake up, They're gonna make tea and they're it's my tea. It's a big you know, it's a big production. It's a big production. You watch it and it's like, oh, look at the it's watching a parade. You watch a parade, you go oh. But then when you sit down and think about it, you think about your life and your cable bill. They never have to worry about a cable bill. You think Prince Harry ever has to call Direct TV to bitch about the new Menus. Do you think he has anything in his world to rant about? Nothing? He's got nothing. Everything has handed him on a silver platter. Do you think he just happened to get a hot American actress wife? No, No, he's he's a prince and she's like I had no idea he was a prince. I mean I did, but I didn't know a lot about the royal family. I didn't really look into it. I just thought he was nice. Sure, Sure, he was nice. His name is Prince Harry, right, that came with it. It's like Dr Goldstein. You already know he's a doctor. He's probably got some money in the bank. Now multiply that by a thousand. Oh who you're going on a blind date with? Who? Prince Harry? Prince Harry? Should we should we do some um? Should we? Should we do some jokes? Some unused Okay, I need to laugh a little bit, all right, I think I got I can try to remember what they are. Some of these are from weeks. And then we also have to play the Parry's song from the moment from our last episode, because this was a to be continued cliffhanger, which by the way, I'm not very happy about, all right, because fucking song about me? It is about you. Well, I'm all right, hold on a second. Let me do a couple of unused jokes, and I remember what the jokes? Um, you did an appearance at Dunkin Donuts. They're a sponsor but not mine. So I can talk about them. And you would tell it, Elvis, how they have these new umy, the Royal um, the Royal love donuts, for the for the for the Royal Wedding, the Royal Love Donuts. And you filmed an instant story and you you ate them in the video and they were all over your face. You will enjoy another with Royal and you're like Elvis, They're everywhere. And I said to Elvis, yeah, they're everywhere. They're on your shirt, there, on your face, through on your pants. Um. I don't remember this one. There was a there was a horse. You went in a horse and a horse and buggy. It was a horse drawing carriage branded with the Dunkin Donuts label. So you said, oh, I was trotting around in a horse and carriage and I said yeah. And after you had all those doughnuts, you were trotting in your pants. Um oh, Elvis said, coffee, Coffee and caffeine make me poop And I said, yeah, every morning you take a big crappuccino. You didn't do that. Um what was the fork thing? Why don't have star fucks written down on this? We were talking about? Um oh oh, in England, people are spray painting the word fork all over England and they're trying to keep the Royal family from seeing it to that painting them over, they're covering them up. They don't know why people are painting fork all over the place. So I said, um, oh, they're trying to get the fork off. And then I said, oh, they're trying to shut the fork up. I didn't do either of those. Um, what's this one for? Almost person? Oh, Danielle says, we were talking. I don't know what we're talking about. He goes, oh, thiss. One time I came out to my car and it was a homeless person living in my car, and I said, was it a cardboard car? Obviously one through the joke didn't do it. They ended up in cardboard boxes sometimes, and it's tragic. I apologize. That was it. We've been off for two weeks. I threw out some of the jokes older than they weren't time any okay, alright, those are unused punchlines. Does A does it? Jokes that we were given to the show and they were never used. So already put him a separate pile and we read them here on this podcast every week. I want to read one tweet if I can from Justin mcgittrick. Yeah, Justin writes his name is at has a half. I don't know what that means, but it's not his name. Hey, Brody, I just wanted to tell you that I downloaded Twitter just to follow you. I love the Brooklyn Boys podcast. I listened to it every morning and night for my one hour and ten minute drive to and from work. I have not fully caught up yet up to episode thirty. I just wanted to say thanks. So I thought that was really nice. It's much appreciated. UM, so, thank you for that. Thank you for that tweet. I'm piston. Why you? Why are you upset? Brody? What did I do to you? What's a man of blood? And then we can play your parody which will let me feel a little bit about being pusty. Every everybody knows to listen to this podcast in order. By the way, I've got three more listening in order jingles that I came up with them. Gonna produce those for next week or the weekend. But by the way, if you don't know to listen in order. The reason why is because we always reference stuff from previous episodes. That's right. So if this is your first episode, that's great. We'll give you the free pass. But from this point forward, we ask that you listen in order bed timing. Listen order you need to listen, order you need to We should let's zero started episode zero and then work your way back up. So make this be number thirty one, thirty eight. Okay, that's great. Thirty eight is great, but go back to zero after this one. Don't go to thirty seven. It's gonna be lost. Now, this is what thirty seven, thirty eight. So I got a bone to pick with you, and I'm gonna we're gonna try this theory out. You said to me, the title of an episode affects, It catches people's eyes. I'm pretty sure of it, right, because you did this one that's called listening Listen for your Oral Pleasure A U R A L. And that one has a lot of hits. And there was another one extra large, uh, and you said does something like no woman ever complained about that or something like that. Those are two of our most listened to episodes because of the title. So this is thirty eight. This is thirty eight, thirty seven. The when we did two weeks ago, Huge Listens, thirty five, Huge Listens, thirty six and thirty thirty five and here, okay, the thirty seven was big, let's open up the hood and pull everything, thirty seven was big. Thirty six and thirty five not big, medium, medium listens. And so I told you I didn't like the titles at the time. You're like, no, the club that puns, and I think we talked about this on a previous episode. So so you you got, um you named one of them like, uh it down with O P P and uh something else and so um they were terrible. You're not gonna be able to find it. So what I did was I went in the system and I changed the titles to better titles. One of them was the Kaudassians. It was all about uh he spelled everything with a K. You tried to be clever. And the one and the one and the one where you stole my strawberries and you wrote, um, oh skier, he's down with O P P. Other people's property, whatever happens. Well that we didn't get as many listens, so they were very very funny. But thirty six and thirty five, so what happened. I just changed them today. So let's see what happens. Okay, well, let's let's let's do that. Okay, Why am I pissed at you? You know, I'm in charge of the internship program here, okay, and I'm in charge of the internship program. Or sixteen years, three semesters a year. That's forty eight semesters, right roughly, y yeah, right, okay. Every semester, somebody stops you an event, somebody emails you and says, I applied to be an intern. I want to be an intern, right, and you know, send him to elvistoan dot com. Fill out the form whatever, and worst case scenario, there's an email address specifically to intern at elvisturan dot com. There's an address for it, which is on the website. And yet every freaking semester, you give out my personal email address, you fuck, and you give it out to some some but he was applying for the internship, one person every semester. Now, I've started to do it on purpose because I feel like if they met me in the street, they've made a personal connection with me. Great, they give him your personal email address, but I'm not I'm not in charge of the internship program. You are we get damn right, But you know what. The internship program goes through the internship page. I'm gonna give you some thing is if if I hear they are to put yourself in there, I'm gonna scary Jones. Oh it's scary Jones. Oh my god. I just made a connection and I'm having a cool conversation with them. I'm thinking like, well, I kind of think I got I want to get them Brodie's personal address, because again, you know what it is. It's the same as giving away my freaking strawberries. You gave away my strawberries because you want to credit, Like, yeah, I want to show them that by meeting me in person, they get that extra like, so give them your email address and forward it to me. I'll do that, but you know i'll do that next time and I'll delete it because you know, I tell you put them through the way. I'll tell you why. Number One, the website has specific instructions on what I want in the cover letter and what they need to provide, Okay, and and that keeps it uniform to legally it has to go through the website. But so there's no unfair hiring p How are you going to give them the Scary Jones advantage for meeting for meeting You can then tell them in the cover letter they should mention they met you and that you spoke so highly and then scary rector whatever. Do that put scary in the everybody you got thousands of resumes. It's just like usually is the problem. I'm gonna give you guys advice. If you ever apply for a job anywhere an internship, never apply directly to the hiring manager. If there's a system in place, nobody wants their personal inboxes, They're gonna gonna delete it. They're like, this person is not a filed directions. Don't send follow up emails. Hey, I applied in the right place. You actually talk people out. Applied for internships that found other ways to get in touch with you that didn't follow the directions. They'll go to my Brodie Elvis Duran show account and applied in the other place. I'm just like, you know, well, guess what email works. I saw your application. I didn't contact you because you suck, or I didn't contact you because I'm not ready to contact everyone yet. I get five dred applications. It takes time to go through them all. But I'm telling you in life this is good advice. Don't apply for a job at Google and then you find out that Larry is the guy who does the hiring for your department and go, hey, sorry, I just want to let you know I applied for the You know, Larry's gonna say you're annoying, and if I hire you, you're gonna be annoying at work. Also, you're gonna be the guy who comes to me and goes, hey, larious. You know I didn't. Yeah, I did. Like, that's not an impractical joker's reference. I'm just saying, Larry. So, by the way, the Joe Ghatto episode of our show, which I think was episode No. Du doing medium. Since I changed the title, it was doing badly. Now it's doing medium, so even more so, why the title makes all the difference? You just proved my point. Well, Okay, what I'm saying is a bad title can kill an episode, no matter how funny we are. If we don't have a good title, people like. But if you're listening in order, it shouldn't matter anyway, and don't so every So, I get an email from someone's like, oh, I met Scary Jones and he told me that I should tell you I applied. That's the personal connection. Okay, I know you applied because guess what, you already have a copy of it. I already have a copy of it. And I remember this person because they didn't follow director. This goes back to the upbringing thing. See, if you did this to me, my response would have been like, so big deal. So Brodie Brodie said delete. I'll just use this from the inbox from the other one because of the way that I was brought up, because I know personality of my character. Because I know this, You've got to be argument as here. Know I'm not being augumented. I'm telling you how it works in the real world. No job you apply for does the hiring manager want you to contact them directly. Don't call the operator and say can I speak to to Ted? Ted doesn't want to hear from you all that. We've all heard those stories though, Brodie about how people got these great jobs by doing a dance in front of the by walking in uh like like literally just ambushing them out on the street and they turn like homeless to a CEO and they have these great stories, or they get they get meeting with the manager, they got someone on the phone. You know how I got the job here, Brodie, I actually was clever. I got through the phone system of the business office and I spoke to the hiring manager in charge, charmed them with my scary jones charm. I'm from Brooklyn, you're from Brooklyn. Next thing you know, we're talking about this great, big Brooklyn and that he offered me the job. At the end of the phone call, he said, wants coming to morrow for an interview. You sound like a cool guy. Okay, a couple of things, A couple of things you boom, here's a couple of things you'll drop. A couple of things you're leaving out of the story since that's happened. Every time you tell that story to other people that worked here, they all had the same story. That fucking guy that hired you hired anyone on the phone he could get his hands on, and he didn't care where they were from because he was that guy. So who's to say that it's not a man that's in place actually will take people that he has to say. I'm saying it. I'm saying it's not good advice in this day and age, or any day and age to be annoying. I don't care. I feel like, oh I know a guy who was annoying one in a million. But it's gonna cost you most jobs. So in this particular case, in this building, you know my don't give my personal email address out. First of all, if you wanted to give my email address out, I have a listener email account. Next time I'm going to and I'll tell you I love the thing about the person who applied the instructions on the website. Specifically, say I had a cover letter, and explain why you want the internship. Why you think is that Fresh Direct water? Maybe like to mention it Fresh Direct that I know it's a Fresh Direct bottle. Number one because I saw them on the table this morning. Number two, after you choked as you were choking, I spit hold on. This is how scary is mind works. As you were choking, you looked at the label to see if it was a client water bottle. So you can go, I'm choking on Fresh Direct water, natural spring water from the just label THEE There you go, see, there you go. Anyway, this particular applicant didn't apply with a cover letter. You know what they did. They filmed a video of themselves sitting in their living room talking about themselves. The problem is I asked for a cover letter. Well, that's a bigger problem because that's how people are expressing themselves, because they've been growing up with social media now and people coming into the workforce. The only way they know is to put a camera on them. And he and he and he was the video. Um a really big fan. I really want to turn there, so um yeah, oh and um, you know what if you're not gonna speak fluidly and and and know what you're gonna say, don't do a video. I made a career of it for twenty three years. Yeah, you really have. I got a little spittle up the microphone. By the way, that's a you know what you did just now. That reminds me. So I wrote a song for you. It's I Know I Am. It's a parody of the song that's been number one for weeks Elvis played on the show three quarters of it. Let's play the whole thing. Play the whole thing. By the way, this is a reference to the last episode where we had um, we had Blair Blair who sang the song and we was just gonna be this big yeah, and there was this big reveal over the vocal track, and bro like, this is gonna be a smash hit. Well, here's the final product that Blair before you hit that song, which, by the way, you set me up because you never told me that. But here's what I'm to say when we come back. I'm gonna give you a couple of free dessert stories and then I gotta go. I got a doctors appointment. I apologize, So we're gonna skip email. Yeah, I don't have time. I'm sorry. We're gonna okay, we're gonna skip Grammar Police next week. Let's try to do two episodes for the people. All right, all right, here's your song, here's my song. Hit it. Winskiy eats food on his chair. Some over there on your sleeve. He choose like a bear. He's so unaware at the floor around him is such a mess too, so aggressive, scary. We've got some good suggestions. Keep your lips closer to food, with your mouth posed. You too, like my dog Rover Volcano. I'm not too blue. Oh sar, wow, aren't you eat? There is so much still you're spinning French fries just a little. How come when you speak there's so much spintal, so much spin out skin? Why when you wait there is so much spin so rosp rainbow when you're eating skin? How come when you think there's so much spins, why when you eat there is so much spintle skin ray you jumped in high with some pick o. How come when you speak there's so much spidle, spittle, spit food, missal messle, thank you so much? So what do I owe this honor? Spit rainbow when you're eating skittles? Great? I mean you you can't pay for lyrics like that. Somebody I to give credit to this person. They just they just sensed we were doing the podcast right now, so they just emailed me U and emailed us at the Brooklyn Boys Podcast at gmail dot com. So I'll just read this one here from Gihn Carlo Mascara. We've read him before, we have. Well, he's like, hey, Brooklyn Boys, I know you guys don't give shout outs normally, but I figured it didn't hurt to ask. Could you shot out my girlfriend who just graduated and listened to the podcast regularly. All right, that's fine. Congratulations Marissa, she graduated from Montclass State University, and we're all proud of you. She's gonna be doing big things in this world. There you go. Okay, thank you. It's graduation season right now. Oh my god, that's the last one. We're doing. No gradulation. We are not doing graduation podcast. Congratulations John Carlo, you got the first, and congratulations after that. Congratulate your own relatives and friends and family. There's too many people that are graduating. All right. I want to just tell an auto zone story. Getting the zone auto zone. All right, So I go in auto zone. This is my free dessert story. And then I gotta go. I go in auto zone. I need to get oil for oil change. And uh so I go in and buy the oil. I have a mechanic that does the oil change for me. I pick up the oil. He does it all change for me. Great guy. Everyone needs to have a guy. I got a guy finally, so I go into auto zone. Nicest people, there, no no complaints. I don't want to tell you a free dessert story. And the guy says to me, oh, you know, instead of buying five courts oil, you can buy an oil change jug design because you do an oil change. Yeah, he goes, you can buy a five gallon jug, a five court jug ready to go, and it's on sale. I'm like, I'm loving that. And it comes with a free STP oil filter, so everything you need. I go, sign me up. So he goes, what what what kind of cart you have? I tell him. He says, I'll get it for you. Comes back with the oil and he says, uh, starts ringing me up. He goes, oh, um, we don't have the oil filter. We're out of the one for your car. But I'm I'm gonna get a transfer from another store. You'll it'll be in tonight. I go, well, I'm dropping my coffrom my mechanic. What time is that going to be? He was come back around six o'clock. This is like one o'clock at this point. So he's ringing me up. I go, I gotta come back, I says, you know. He says, yeah, we'll have it tonight. You have it, will get a few tonight. So that's all right. Well, um, where is my You don't have the freak oil filter that's supposed to come up my oil and I'm sorry you have to come back discount and he looks at me and he goes, huh, you know you're right getting the zone. So I saved like, you know, seven eight dollars whatever it was. That's awesome. That's because I had to go back to use my gas. You just said, Look, so props the auto zone and rubbing may you don't want because their logical companies. Because you both of them. You've explained your situation and they were like they thought, and I was funny about it, and they were human, right, and they gave you a human My point is, again, this is gonna be part of my book when it's coming out. I'm working on it, you people, And next week I'm gonna read a lot of the free dessert stories that I got while we're on vacation. And I, oh, in the rants, I got rants with free dessert. Why couldn't you give us I don't have time, No, we have time. I really have to go to doctors appointment. But here's the thing. Don't let people take advantage of you, and don't let people give you less than what you paid for. If you paid for something with the less than what you paid for, but how do you take it to the next Because of by the way they were inconveniencing me. He gave me. By the way, we don't have the oil filter. Well, you can't do an oil change on oil filter, so I had to come back. Yeah, no, no, I I agree, And that's worth something to a lot of people that look are looking for free dessert. They'll they'll fight for the even part because they don't want to be made whole. But but they can't in their minds justify how to negotiate something next week. Next week when I rant about um my direct TV problem again love direct TV, there was just a glitch. When I tell you what happened, and you'll see the steps I had to take to get to the point where I got fixed even free dessert, but shitty free dessert. And then I got better free dessert. Because that's another thing. Sometimes the free dessert is not good enough, so you keep going. So when you hear my direct TV rant on the next episode, are we live right now? Because somebody another listener just texted us. She emailed us, Cassie, she's a brand new listen. I gotta go. She she wants you to be a permanent seat on the morning show. Cassie from Syracuse. Well, Cassie, that's very nice CPS recruitment. I appreciate that. But here's something, here's a little bonus for you if you're hearing this in time, uh, tomorrow's the seventeenth. On Thursday the seventeenth, I'll give you a little little inside behind the scenes for our Brooklyn Boys podcast listeners. We are leaving early in the middle of the show, right on the seventeen, the middle of the Thursday show, and we're gonna play a couple of best of things right the second half of the show. One of the things we're playing is a fifteen minute morning show that I was on. So when you hear it as part of the big show tomorrow, yeah, it's going to sound it's gonna sound like I'm on the show. So heake a listen. Say you think of that and listen to today's fifteen minute. Do we have an issue? We don't have an issue, Alison Pagan wrote to us, Well, the subject was Scary's biggest fans, So I have to read this to read it, but I'm walking out love you all. Thanks for listening. I gotta go read it. Oh yeah, they just want to know why am I doing something wrong here. I keep hitting my refresh button for several days in a row, and it just says episode thirty seven posted a we've been away, we haven't done a podcast. It's not We're not broken. It's fine, all right, we gotta get out of here. We'll see you later, all right. Bertie legitimately just walked out of the freaking movie and he couldn't even come back to say that we're from Brooklyn Boys, Roland Boys, rock Bro Glad