#396: Real Lesbian Housewives Of New Jersey

00:00:00
Speaker 1: Episode 396. This is the Brooklyn Boys podcast. Hello, David Brody. Hello, Scary Jones. Why do you sound so happy? I can hear your smile through your voice. Because the weekend is near. Oh, you didn't get new light bulbs or anything? No, no, no, no, no. This place, forget about it. I don't know how much more money I could really afford to put into it. This house of mine. It's not a house, dude. It's an apartment. Yeah.

00:00:47
Speaker 2: Okay.

00:00:48
Speaker 1: I don't want to get into specifics, but scary unloaded on me yesterday about all his gripes and griefs of his new apartment. Like the, the, the, the maintenance fee and the taxes and the, and the, all these extra expenses that are not part of his everyday life. Yeah. And I'm like, Oh my God, you haven't like, I didn't have that much drama in a house before. I had a house, a two-car garage, and a deck, and a pool. It looked good on paper, but there's a lot of things I didn't anticipate. It looked good on green paper. The green paper is what I need. Are you kidding me? Now I need to be a shill for more clients than ever. Oh, my God. Skiri got bamboozled. What? Well, it's property taxes. I mean, listen, everyone could relate to taxes. But the taxes in Jersey City have gone up like fucking 18% in one year. And they were exorbitant to begin with. But my God, my jaw hit the floor when I... When I saw what my quarterly taxes were, it's like fucking ridiculous. And just to put it into perspective, without giving numbers, I lived a half hour west of where Skiri lives. Not that far west in New Jersey. Yeah. And again, I had a full-size house with an in-ground pool, which is also part of your taxes, right? You have to pay for taxes. My taxes for my house... was a third of what Skiri is paying for his two-bedroom apartment. You'd have to sell all his light switches just to pay his taxes. Now, I feel bad for the citizens of Jersey City. You should. You should feel bad for the citizens in your apartment. I mean, these apartments, they're people living in places in Jersey City that are far less expensive as mine and just trying to get by. But the taxes are through the fucking roof. Insanity. I can't believe they've got the balls. If you look at the tax rate for Jersey City, folks, you just go take a look yourself. So proportionally, everybody's effed. Everyone that lives here. I don't know how anyone affords to live here. We're going to move on in a second. I can explain. You can explain real quick. There's more people now with all the apartment buildings than there are restaurants and stores that, that offset the taxes needed to have the police and firefighters and the roads and everything and the snow removal. So because there's now more people stacked on top of each other in how many floors are in your building? Don't even say, but like 20 something, right? It's a big building. All those 20 floor buildings is hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of people in a little area that was like the size of my house. Well, bigger than my house, but as far as the footprint. So you got to pay taxes. I get it, but I would expect them to be high. I really would. I expect you to pay high taxes. Yeah. But what you're paying, astronomical. Yeah, but it was also front page like, you know, last year. I guess I was absent that day. Yeah, not paying attention. Exactly. I might have been on vacation somewhere. When it was revealed in the news that Jersey City has got the tax hike, we just went way, way, way through the roof for everybody. So Scary bought the apartment the same way you buy... Lobster at a restaurant When it just says market price And you don't ask what the market price is You're like oh let her ride baby Bring it out with extra butter And then you see the bill and it's like $ 85 for lobster This is nuts We'll move off of this We got bigger fish to fry on today's show How much is the fish? Is it market price fish? $ 2 I'll buy it Anyway Yeah I wanted to talk to you real quick. Speaking of the prices of things. Cause you were, you were, we were, it happened while you and I were recording slice time or the Brooklyn, maybe the Brooklyn boys. I have a friend who wanted to go see a movie with me. He's like, Oh, I'll pick up the tickets.

00:05:01
Speaker 2: Mike.

00:05:01
Speaker 1: Fantastic. Now he wanted to go see Godzilla in IMAX, you know, giant screen. The new Godzilla movie is fantastic. By the way, absolutely incredible. Some of the best sound I've ever heard in a movie. Unbelievable. Anyway, IMAX is expensive. It's like $ 20 for a ticket. And I don't always go to IMAX. I don't always splurge, but this is a monster movie. This needs to be seen on the big screen. So he says, all right, I'll take care of the tickets. You'll Venmo me. I said, okay. So he sends me a text message. He goes, you owe me $ 31 or something. I go, what? What are you talking about $ 31? Okay. That's a lot of money, by the way.

00:05:39
Speaker 2: A lot of money.

00:05:39
Speaker 1: I said, there's no way it's $ 31. It's like 19 with 20 years. Oh, I got you the soda package. The unlimited refill soda. I said, how much is the soda? It's like $ 9 and 30 cents or something. You would never pay $ 9 for a soda. This is David Brody you're talking to. I go, you know me for like, he knows me 20 years. I was about to say, dude, what the hell is he thinking? I said, I'm not because, oh, I got soda. I got the package for me. Dude, you're going to sneak fucking cans into your fucking pockets of your jackets. I had a 24 ounce bottle of Poland Spring sports bottle with me. Absolutely. I put it in my back pocket and bring in the water. I'm not paying nine. Look, I'll overpay for popcorn because I can't bring my own movie theater popcorn. It's never the same. I'll pay for the popcorn. But don't volunteer because, oh, I thought you'd be happy. You'd have the soda machines there. You didn't get any flavor Coke you want. I said, I take what flavor I don't want, $ 9, oh, cola. That's what I don't want. You know, it's crazy how he made the decision for you without asking you. That's the travesty here. He goes, well, I don't want two sodas. I go, I'm not paying for it. How much was the ticket? He goes, dude, I got the tickets. I did the legwork. It's the crime. That's great. You can double fist the sodas or you can cancel it and re-ring it. Well, if we cancel it, we might lose the seats. I'll take that risk. I'm not paying $ 9. 30 or whatever for a soda. It was all drama. He couldn't understand it. What a crime. What a crime. Yeah, he's... He gave me grief. He is... He's wrong on this. Dead wrong. Because anyone who knows you, first of all, knows that you're not going to pay that price. Secondly... That's right. It's an outrageous price. You just want the price of the movie ticket. So, what did you do? Well, after like an hour and a half of me saying, dude, I'm not paying for it. And him saying, what do you mean? I picked up the tickets. I said, I didn't ask you for the soda. I thought I was doing a nice thing. Yes, you did think you were doing a nice thing. But if I bought you like Lululemon pants, that's nice of me. You're not going to wear them. So if I told you you owed me the money for them, you wouldn't give me the money for them. When you go to the concession counter at a movie theater, do you tip them?

00:07:52
Speaker 2: No. Why?

00:07:54
Speaker 1: They're like a bartender, but for candy. Okay. Are you tipping at McDonald's when you pull up at the counter?

00:08:00
Speaker 2: No. Right.

00:08:03
Speaker 1: Listen. But what if they're pouring you a soda? I know you get your own at this point. I know. They give you the cup and you walk away. But if they do something, they're scooping. All right. Think about it this way. they scoop you an extra large popcorn, like an extra big heaping. If now you don't have a bag, you have a heaping bag of popcorn. Don't you feel like that tip goes a little bit long? No, because that's a bribe. It's a bribe. We're going back to this again. You know what my problem was with the kid with the sodas when we got there? Right. Because anyway, long story short, I got him to cancel the transaction. We got the same seats locally. But he made a whole big deal out of it. Anyway, when they give you the cups for the soda and slices, look at this. Anytime you go anywhere where they have to hand you the cup, they're supposed to hold the cup on the sides, right, and hand you the cup. They put their fingers in the cup. In the cup. and pinch the top in their palm, and they hand you the cup. Gross. Dude, I don't want your fingers in my cup. You've been handling money for the past three hours, and God knows what else. A lot of times, it's credit cards at this point. I will say, though, on the tip tip, I was at a deli recently. By the way, do you want someone else's credit card skank on your hands? No, I don't. All right. Thank you. All right. You rest your case. I do. I was ordering a nice hero. We call them heroes here in the Northeast. You might call them subs, hoagies, po-boys, whatever. But the right thing to call them is a hero. I'm joking. Anyway, go ahead. That's for us. Anyway, so it was a nice sandwich, good Italian deli. And the guy was cool behind the counter. We had a nice little conversation. So I gave him a two, a $ 2 bill. How much? No, I gave him a $ 2 bill for a tip. Oh. I tipped him a tip. I said, here's a two. Here's a two. I dropped the deuce on him. I dropped the deuce on him. His reaction was like, I gave him 20 bucks. Oh my God. And I'm thinking like, The sheer rarity and oddity of a $ 2 bill, of seeing a $ 2 bill in person and being handed one, and forget about the fact that most people, a lot of people think they have good luck, connotations to them, whatever. It's paper. But combine all that, it had the effect of at least a $ 5 bill. That's nice. That's good. Listen, I've given two twos instead of a five, and people are like, oh, two twos. Two twos. I saved a dollar. I think that the $ 2 bill, the effect of a $ 2 bill, you know, because you're receiving it and you don't expect it, and once again, it's not rare, but because you can get them at the bank. I think that is amazing, and I think that it has, it's almost like you gave them, like, like a hundred bucks. The other thing is if you get like a, because they work in the register. Yeah. I was at five below once and I was getting something that was like a dollar. So I had a $ 2 bill. I was like, Oh, I'll just pay up the $ 2 bill. And she had to call a manager over. She didn't know it was real. She didn't know which slot to put it in. Cause it's only one fives, tens and twenties. You put it in with the fifties, you put it under the ones. So she ended up putting under the ones, but she's like, what is this? Well, it's a great way of saving money and getting maximum effect. for your tip is brilliant because some people be like, you know what? I'd rather have a two than a $ 5 bill. I'd rather have that $ 2. Well, I mean, not you or me, but there'll be somebody out there. They'll be like, Oh my God, I'll totally take this too. But it has the effect and the excitement of a five or a 10. But you know, it's just $ 2 at the end of the day. And they're not worth more than $ 2. They're not. They're worth $ 2. For anyone who's wondering, isn't it a keepsake? Isn't it a collector's item? Brody, I mean, you would know firsthand. I mean, you're trying to sell my $ 2 bills for me, like old $ 2 bills from the 1930s and 40s. I did just sell your $ 1 bill from the 1800s. Yeah? Yeah. I just sold it this week. I'll tell you later what I got for it, but it was a lot more than a dollar. Get out. It's a silver certificate. Yes. Google what a silver certificate was, but it was a special kind of money back in the day. Why don't you tell me right here? We don't have to go back on this. We're on the topic now. You're talking about the giant oversized dollar? Yeah, the oversized dollar. And it was from like 1930 something? Yeah. Yeah. How much? How much? I got 120 bucks for it. You're fucking kidding me. No, no, I got 120 bucks for it. That's about what it's worth.

00:13:03
Speaker 2: I put it in.

00:13:06
Speaker 1: I put it in a nice sleeve. I photographed it nicely. Did a good job. I had AI give me an exact explanation of how to describe the bill. And it's worth more because there were certain signatures on it that are worth more than other guys' signatures. Slices, this is literally a dollar bill. But it was from the 1930s. This one was passed on from my great-grandmother and my Aunt Millie. And we found it in a vault. And I'm like, what am I going to do with this? And it's oversized. They made these. Don't I have more than I gave you? No, you only gave me the one large one, the one big bill. Wow. It's bigger than a typical bill. Yeah, it's bigger. Now, if I gave you that as a tip, if I gave you a dollar silver certificate instead of a 500 bill. You got $ 120 for a dollar, a dollar bill. Yeah, things go up in value. I'll tell you right now what year it was. That's phenomenal. Oh, my God. That's exciting.

00:14:02
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:14:02
Speaker 1: Cha-ching. It was from the 1800s, Skiri. It wasn't from 1930s. It was 1800s. Wow. All right. I'm speechless. We have to take a break. That's crazy. It was 1872, I think it was, if I remember correctly. Something like that.

00:14:19
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:14:21
Speaker 1: How about that? How about that? How about that? Man, I'm still reeling from that. I didn't know you were going to. Wow. Okay, cool. See, folks, you never know. One man's gold is another man's garbage, and another one man's garbage is another man's gold. Makes me wonder how much I could get for some of these old school radios I have here that's sitting on the wall. Not that I would part with most of them because they have sentimental value to me, intrinsic value, but some of this stuff has to be worth some money. Oh, everything's worth money if somebody wants to buy it. Yeah. Absolutely. So I got crushed. I got crushed online earlier this week. Well, we were talking about our icks. What is your ick on our 15-minute morning show after party podcast? Is that the name of it now? The Elvis Duran show. Yeah, we do a podcast after the show. Yeah, but what's the name of it? It's now called the After Party Podcast. Okay. And I said, I got two icks. And one of them is very legit. And I don't know if anyone's going to disagree with this one. It's people who premeditatively cry on TikTok. The premeditated cry is, Because if you're crying into your phone on TikTok and sobbing and weeping, like really sobbing and tears are coming down, you would have first fucking think about, oh my God, hold on. I'm crying. Let me get my phone. There's no place I want to be right now other than on a TikTok live or chronicling my shit and hitting record on my phone. So maybe you set up the camera. Maybe you set up the fucking stand, the lighting, whatever. But that is a premeditated cry. Hence, it's fake. And there's something really gross about that. Would you agree? Yeah, because it's not real. If you're like, oh, wait a minute. I got to cry in a few seconds, but the lighting's bad. I'll be right back. Right. Now, if I'm filming you, Brody, I happen to catch you crying. That's a whole other story. You don't know you're being filmed. I'm going to take out my phone and record you. Are we at a Mets game? Right. Probably. Most likely. But if I'm filming you crying, that's one thing. And that could be, you know, that could be legit. But it's just so goddamn disingenuous to see... people crying on Instagram and Tik TOK and just putting it up as a, as a video. I'm like, you had to really think that through in order for you to, there's a couple of, there's a few situations, a few scenarios. Are they slicing onions? Do they cry on command? It's just weird. I don't know. Certain things are supposed to be spontaneous and it's like, Oh, I didn't see you there. You know, Well, how many times do you watch videos and you're like, oh, this is good. Wait a minute. Who's filming this? Right. This is all set up. And the whole thing's set up. Yeah. Right. So anyway. Right. The other ick that I had. That's your first ick. Yeah. The second ick was something that I got people crushed me for. And that is for. Who crushed you? Well, first Elvis and then the listeners. Because I said that people who clap for. A plane landing, you know, at the end of the... As soon as you touch ground, the back of the plane goes nuts, and they scream, and they go, woo-hoo, and they start clapping. I said, that's an ick for me. That's... It's just weird. Because for me, you're pretty much saying... You're pretty much assuming that the outcome of you landing safely was not in the cards. So the fact that you landed safely, you have to applause... And it was so overwhelmed and overjoyed that we actually landed, which is a slap in the face of the pilots, first of all. Thanks for not killing us.

00:18:33
Speaker 2: Right.

00:18:33
Speaker 1: It's almost like a... Not a compliment for them. Well, okay. I've got a question. But I was told that it's a cultural thing. This is where my argument goes sideways. Cultural. Yeah, it's cultural. It's a cultural thing because certain people from certain cultures, that's what they do when the plane lands. And I'm almost like making fun of them. That's okay. You can have a silly culture. No. We're talking about like Regular cultures, like Jamaicans and Puerto Ricans, and where I'm from, we got a lot of, where I'm from, we clap when the plane lands, because that's what we do. Let's say our culture. Our culture was putting 30 speakers in the car and six amps so that the windows would shake when you drove down the street. People could say that that's a little stupid. That's not like, oh, you're insulting my culture. Sometimes the culture's a little strange. That's all right. Not religion, culture. Culture. My people, this is what we do. If your culture is to put a fried chicken bucket under your pillow for good luck, I'm going to go, you know what? That's a little strange. Right. be your culture, but that's strange. That's nobody's culture. I don't believe that's anybody's culture. I made that up. You know, like they say on TV, any coincidence between that and real events is purely coincidental. It's purely coincidental. Yeah. But I have such an... My eyes can't roll harder and further than when I hear that. And it's always coming from... Now, this is where else I got in trouble. Okay. Because it's always coming from the back of the back of the back of the back of the plane. Like the bathroom seats. The bathroom sniffers. Those last few rows. And I attribute... I attribute it to people... that don't have any status with the airline, meaning this is like your first or second time flying because anybody, anybody who flies regularly, they get seats somewhere in, you know, the middle of the plane over the wing or whatever. And I'm all economy. I'm not, but you never see those people in the front or the middle of the plane clapping. It's always the people in the way back. And those are usually the people that probably don't fly very often. But I'm seeing this on flights from like... Can you just identify yourself? Say your name right now so people know which one of us is doing the talking. Newark to Orlando. This is Gary Jones speaking. Thank you. Thank you. You land in Orlando. And... Woohoo! The woohoo people are out in the back of the plane. The woohoo is? The woohoo! The woohoo is. But they're clapping. They're just... I just find that as a nick. You fly much more than I do. I do. And I used to have a terrible fear of flying. I don't love it, but I'm better at it. When I was 18 years old, I may have clapped as a kid. I may have clapped like, hey, thanks, pilot. Here's your tip. Here's your $ 2 bill in the form of a clap. Now that I'm an adult, if I'm the pilot, I don't know if I'm... I don't know as the pilot if I'm like, that's nice. They appreciate the smooth flight. Is this for a job? Oh, job well done. Very nice. Well, no, here's the thing. Here's the thing. What if there was a lot of turbulence? What if there were in-flight problems? And the captain and his crew and the flight attendants did a fantastic job. Yes. Standing ovation. He gave you an update. Because I've been on flights where I'm like, oh, this is your captain speaking. Nope. If you look outside, you're going to see the plains of Oklahoma, a beautiful part of the country. Uh, we're going to be experiencing turbulence about six minutes. We'll chop, we'll chop, we'll chop coming up. We'll chop. Uh, so I'll chop here. You know, if you give me information, it's when you go on the five hour flight, six hour flight to California and you're like, the plane's going up and down and the captain doesn't say shit. I'm not clapping for him. But if he gives me good service, other than just landing the plane, drinks on me, drinks up. Is that a song? I'm sure that's a song by somebody. It may be. It may be. Okay. Yeah, whatever.

00:22:58
Speaker 2: Anyway.

00:22:58
Speaker 1: I've abandoned the song game the last couple episodes because people are saying that we're playing it too much. So I stopped calling you out. I think if it's a big time song, we could do it. Okay. So I would say if you get like an exceptional pilot, if the pilot, like I've had the pilot come out like before the plane takes off. Oh, hello, everybody. I'm your captain, Captain blah, blah, blah. I just want to thank you guys for coming. We're going to be landing. The temperature right now in L.A. is a beautiful 78 degrees. We got any first-time flyers on the plane? And he comes out with this little shtick. We got anybody celebrating birthdays? I've had that where the captain comes out and you're like, oh, my God, this guy's fantastic. Right? By the way, I've never had a female captain, to my knowledge. I've never had a female captain. But I, you know, I'm just saying that I think about it. Cause I keep saying the guy, if he, if he, if he, if they, you know, do a great job, I give him a little clap, but not because the plane landed. I feel like, like at that point, you start clapping for the Uber driver who doesn't get into an accident. Oh, you got me here. Okay. Thank you. 5.0 and a sitting ovation. Stop right there. Before you go any further. Do you love me? You love me forever. Yeah. Thank you. Um, Do you know that you are 1,200 times more likely to get killed in a car crash than you are... I don't want to think about that. I'm just saying, 1,200 times more car crash than a plane crash. So I'm just letting you know that, if anything, maybe that's when you should start applauding. At the end of a car ride. Or like if I get off a roller coaster Should I clap? Now look if you clap because the ride was great that's fine But if you clap to the operator Oh I do that in roller coasters all the time I applaud as in like woo yeah Let's go again That's different I'm saying if you applaud the guy who pulled the lever The people that clap at the plane landing That's a nervous clap That's not an excitement clap That's not a thank you for your service clap That's a holy shit we got here in one piece clap That's what that clap is I don't want to hear it. If I, if I'm flying somewhere cool and I land, I would be like, yes. You know, like to me, like, you know, but, but like a clap, I'll tell you what, because it's, it's, we went to see Godzilla. Okay. Uh, what's today? Today's Thursday's recording. Yeah. I went to see Godzilla on Tuesday and we went, the theater was packed. Big IMAX theater, right? The movie ends. The movie was excellent. Okay. People start clapping. Right. What are you clapping for? You're clapping the screen. The actor's not there. The director's aren't there. Nobody's there to hear you. Who are you clapping for? Now, I thought about that, and I was like, oh, it seems weird. But if I'm excited in a movie, I cheer. Right? I go, fuck yeah! Well, yeah, like, for instance, the old Rocky movies, when they used to scream, USA! USA! Everyone in the theater screaming USA. I'm like, Stallone's not hearing you right now. But you're getting the vibe. Like, when I saw Avengers Endgame, the whole place went ballistic at the end when, on your left. If you know what you know, you know. You're exciting. But at the end of the movie, I don't know. I mean, I guess if everybody claps, I'll clap because, like, We all, we're all in it together. We all agreed it was awesome. Yes. But there's nobody involved with the project. You hear the clapping and the kid with the broom, who's got to clean up your popcorn. He doesn't care. Right. The movie projector person, if there is one, they don't care. So it was just, it was weird to me. Cause it was like this, I heard this. And then like, someone was like, Oh, I have permission. And then everybody started clapping. Yeah. Slices, do you clap at movies? I clap at a Broadway show. Slices, do you clap for plane landings? I mean, I get it. If you've arrived at the motherland, let's say you're Italian, American, and you've never been to Italy before, and you land in Rome, and you may want to clap because you're overjoyed because you're on the home soil. I don't know. Yeah, but you can clap in your lap like this.

00:27:17
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes.

00:27:18
Speaker 1: I'm so happy to be here. But do you imagine when the plane lands? And you're the only one of your culture, let's say. And you're like, yeah! And nobody else is clapping. Wah, wah, wah. You're all kind of, you know, wah, wah, wah. All right. Round of applause for this segment. Everybody, Slices, I want you all to clap right now. Yes, clap for your podcast. We've done a great job on this segment. It's the Brooklyn Boys Podcast. I have a dilemma. I need help. Okay, Kelly Rowland and Nelly. Thank you. You said you weren't going to do it. Sorry. Okay. So where I live, you know, people come and go, they move in and out every year. The lease is up two years leases. You know, when, when, when people live in homes, you know, the people on my block, when I lived in a house, um, you know, they lived there 20 years, but when it's a townhome complex, people come and go every year. So I got some new neighbors and they're very nice. Oh, they couldn't be nicer. Here's the problem. When I meet people, You know, like, there's a guy, I see him at the dog park. He's got blonde hair. He's got golden retrievers. So when I see him, I'm like, oh, his name is Eric. So I go, oh, golden retrievers, blonde hair. I go, there's Eric the blonde. Eric the blonde. Eric the blonde. That's a great way of memorizing names. Right. And I might even put it in my phone. Eric the blonde. Eric the blonde. Blonde dogs. Golden retrievers. Eric the blonde. Right? Yep. Okay. Well... I had two women move in. You did? You had two women at the same time? Not me. Oh. No, they're married. Oh. Terrific. They're happy. They're great. I had two women. I'm like, really? Tell me. The problem is when you don't know people, it's like, you know how people listen to us and they think we sound alike? Yeah. But if you know us, we don't sound alike. But if you first hear us, you're like, oh, if you're from like Oklahoma, you're like, oh, those two guys sound alike because we're New Yorkers. Right? These women... Lookalike. Mm-hmm. Similar body types, same hair color. They both wear glasses. Like Margie's sisters on The Simpsons? Thelma and Selma or whatever? Yeah. Now, look, these women are very pretty, but they have similar attributes. So I know their names, but... they were like, Oh, I'm blank. And this is blank. So we'll, we'll call them a and B. Yeah. I don't remember which one's a, which one's B. And they, you know, I, I, how do I, I can't ask them again. And every time they see me, they're like, David, I go, Hey, What do you, like, if it's a husband and wife, I'd be like, okay, it's Mike and Mary. Right? I got it. I know which one's Mike, which one's Mary. And if I put it in my phone, hey, the couple over there at unit three is Mike and Mary. Yes. But if I look, now I go, the couple at unit three is A and B. I don't know which one's A, which one's B. What do you do? I can't ask them, hey, are you A or B? Why not? Why can't you ask them? I mean, it would be easy to just be honest and just come out with it. You know what? I got to be honest. I'm going to try to remember for next time, but I don't know. I can't tell you guys apart. No, I can't say that. Why? Now, the other day, one of them was outside. Is it taboo? One of them was outside in the driveway, and they were wearing a zip-up hoodie. It was a gray zip-up hoodie. And I said, oh, hey, how's it going? I said, oh, it's cold out. You're not dressed very warmly. And she says, yeah, you should see what A is wearing. So I'm like, oh, good, great. She's B. She's B.

00:31:07
Speaker 2: Right.

00:31:07
Speaker 1: Got it. Process of elimination. But I was across the street, right? It was across the street at the time because I was going to get my mail.

00:31:16
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:31:16
Speaker 1: My packages. And I was across the street. So I was a little bit of a distance. So then 10 minutes later, I see B again. in the gray zip-up hoodie. Except, when I got closer, it was A. They dress alike. They dress alike. So here I thought, okay, B's wearing the gray hoodie. If I see A, I'll be like, oh, hey, baby. All right. We knew a pair of twins. Brody and I know these twins. That's redundant. Because that's how many twins. We know these twins. People go, oh, I saw two twins. Yup. That's how many there are. And for the longest time, Billy Joel, I would not could be able to tell them apart. No, I would go, hey! Because they looked alike. They dressed alike. They still do. They still do look alike. Except, recently, one of them got a boob job, but the other one didn't. So now, it's very easy to tell them apart. Right. That was nice of her. Very cool. Here's the thing. I have a good friend. When I went to school with them, it was twin boys. And I was friends with one of them and not really close friends with the other one. And I could not tell them apart. Never mind the fact they were Asian. I mean, they really looked, you know, like there was nothing different about their hair color. It was like black hair, black hair. Yeah. And they weren't like going to dye their hair. Because guys don't dye their hair. Sometimes twin girls will like dye their hair one color. Like, oh, the redhead. I get it. Okay. So... Now that they're older, I can absolutely tell them apart because they've aged differently. Like one's a little bit heavier. One's got a little, a longer face. Like they're not identical, identical anymore. And now when I look at the girls you're mentioning, uh, I can tell them apart because one of them has a rounder face and one of them has a longer face. But if you look at them separately, you wouldn't know which one was in the hallway. But in a photograph, you can go, oh, longer, that one. And now one of them is married and the other one is single. When one of them was pregnant, I was like, oh, I know the pregnant one is blah, blah, blah. But now that she's not pregnant anymore, it's back to like, so if I bumped into them alone, I would have no, I would be like, Hey, I don't think it's fair. I think if you're an identical twin, you should have to wear something with your name on it. Oh, like a requirement, right? It's not my fault. You should wear a necklace has your name on it or a bracelet. And if you're a lesbian couple and you look alike, you should have some kind of thing with your name on it. I think that's only fair. I want to be friendly. I want to be a friendly neighbor. And their names aren't similar. It's not like it's like Mary and Mary Ann where you go, hey, hey. Hey, man. Their names are very different. So I can't be like, hey, what's going on? Ruh-roh. Ruh-roh. Ruh-roh.

00:34:21
Speaker 2: Ruh-roh.

00:34:22
Speaker 1: So anyway, Slice, do you have any advice on how to deal with a lesbian couple that looks a lot alike? And again, a year from now, When I get to know them, I will absolutely be able to tell them apart. But right now, having only seen them a few times, I'm completely lost and I feel terrible. So any advice, Slices? Leave us a talk back on the iHeartRadio app. I'd appreciate it. All right, Scare, what do you got? Well, first of all, I was speaking with Matt Murch on the phone yesterday. Oh, I'm sure that went well. It did not go well. Well, you know, as you know, we have our website, thebrooklynboyspodcast.com. That's thebrooklynboyspodcast.com. And if you go there, it's all things Brooklyn Boys. You can get our bios. You can get recent episodes, old episodes. And you can go to our merch store. It links to the merch store. So he was telling me that... He's got, I mean, he's got a lot of good stuff for us. And why not remind people that coming up for the holidays, what a great thing to do for someone in your family is to buy them some Brooklyn boys merch because, or drop a hint to your friends and family that, you know, I would love to get some Brooklyn boys merch and they can go to Brooklyn boys podcast.com. Yeah. So it would be awesome if you supported the store, if you've never been to the store, if you've never seen it. And now a lot of you have been amazing and have, bought several pieces from us. And we love that. Thank you. But our listenership went through the roof when we put those podcasts in the Elvis Duran podcast folder. That's who I'm really talking to right now. The people who've never really bought anything from us. The people who clap when the plane lands. No, but if you're a new listener and you like what you're hearing, it would be great to go to thebrooklynboyspodcast.com That's thebrooklynboyspodcast.com. And I believe there might even be some holiday ornaments left. Oh, we have holiday ornaments. Yes, we do. Yes. And they're blue and orange, so you can put them on your menorah or your Christmas tree. Oh, you can vote. Or your canara, if you want. Whatever. The canara, the menorah. Whatever religion you want to celebrate, these ornaments are great because we didn't have a denomination in mind when we had them made. Yeah. Therefore, they're for whatever you want. They can also hang from your rear view mirror if you live in a state where you're allowed. Or you can hang them from your rear. If you want to just walk around with a tail. Or you could write your name on the back of them hanging around your neck and then I know which lesbian wife you are. Yeah. It's really bothered you, didn't it?

00:36:56
Speaker 2: All right.

00:36:57
Speaker 1: We're going to take a quick break. We come back. We have some more shenanigans. Some more things to chew on. Stuff?

00:37:04
Speaker 2: Well, yeah.

00:37:05
Speaker 1: I got something. I made some money. Yeah. I got something. All right. I got something coming up. No. Okay. Oh, good. Then I got time. Here we go. We got plenty of time. The Book and Voice Podcast. I want to tell you about a thing that paper menu has me hooked on now. Yeah. He's like, Oh, you got to come with me this weekend. It's a thing I do. You got to come with me. Like, what are you talking about? He said, I like to go to a state sales. I go, what are you going to buy an estate? What are you talking about? He said, and I was joking with him, but I, an estate sale is usually when either somebody moves far away or dies and Right? Like when the wife is dead or the husband's dead and the wife kicks and there's nobody left, then they sell everything in the house. They hire a company and they open up the place. They price everything and they open up the cabinets and take everything out of the cabinets. Who profits from that? Well, the family gets like, I don't know, 70%, whatever the split is, and the estate company gets whatever. It's like when I sell stuff for you on eBay. Oh, just like that. Just like that.

00:38:10
Speaker 2: So.

00:38:11
Speaker 1: When you go, you look, there's an app you can use and it shows you where the estate sales are in your area. You can Google that. And you go and you walk in somebody's house. And a lot of times, sometimes it's in a really nice neighborhood. You go into like a mansion, right? The problem with the mansion is you can get a great deal, but you're going to save money on something you couldn't afford anyway. Sometimes. And sometimes you go to places like in average neighborhoods where you get unbelievable deals. Like, oh, that's a dollar. I'll take it. So like, oh, selling a lawnmower, selling a snowblower, selling all this person's, all these videos, all these electronics. Everything's got to go. So everything in the house is for sale. The whole estate for sale. So we've been going to a couple of them on the weekends and I don't need anything. I don't need anything for the house. But I go because it's fun. You never know what you're going to see. Sure. So we went to an estate sale a few weeks ago. And there's a camera on a table in the basement. There's a bunch of, like, electronic things, radios, whatever. Nothing I thought you'd like. Like, no antique radios. Right. Like, shitty 90s cassette decks, whatever. But I see this camera from the 50s that my father had. I'm like, I know that camera. My father had that camera. And I know it's worth money because I sold my father's camera. So I'm like, I'm going to see how much this camera is. They probably don't even know what it's worth. So I bring the camera up to the front. By the front doors, there's a table set up. And I say to the guy, how much is this camera? He says, oh, it's got a blue piece of tape on it. He looks in his book. He goes, that's 10 bucks. Oh, okay. I'll take it. So I give him $ 10 cash. And I say to Paper Menu, I just made some money. Wait, how did you know that it was worth more money than more than $ 10? Do you not listen to this podcast?

00:40:07
Speaker 2: No.

00:40:08
Speaker 1: My father had the same camera. I sold his. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. How did you know that it was the same model? So you're saying it was the same exact model from that year and it wasn't like a dupe or a reprint or anything like that? They don't make dupes of 1950s. It looked like it was from 1950s. Like it had a leather case that snapped onto the camera. All right. No, listen, I'm just, I'm just saying, you just never know. I mean, something could be a replica. I mean, there's so many companies out there that make replica of shit that like from the way back, like I'm staring at three items right now. It's not a Rolex. Okay. All right. All right. All right. All right. It's a camera. Oh my God. Anyway, I paid 10 bucks for the camera. Good for you. I just sold it for $ 125. Hey, what do you know? That's awesome. What I know is cameras. You do. Yeah. So, uh, you never know what you, what you're going to get, right? Box of chocolates, but a state sales, not only are they, but it's, you know what it is? It's weird. It's weird because you're going into somebody's house. It's not there anymore. Right. Most likely they're dead or they moved, but most likely they're dead. Right. And like, you're going in their cabinets, you're going in there. Like people are going in like their office desk and pulling up on the drawers and and seen pens. Everything is on sale. Everything. Oh, my God. You can go in their medicine cabinets, their dressers. No one's there to tell you otherwise. They're dead. So can I get in on one of these? Can I go to an estate sale? I've never heard of it. I've never been to one. I've never heard of one. Yes, it's my new thing. I love it. It's terrific. Are they all over the place?

00:41:47
Speaker 2: Yes.

00:41:48
Speaker 1: Anywhere someone's dead, you can go in their home. But I guess I can Google estate sales and then you can just walk in. There's an app. Let me see if I have the app on my phone. Hold on. I'll tell you the name of the app. Estate sales. But why do I, you know, the other problem is though, I'm trying to get rid of junk. Why do I want other people's junk? So. Well, that's just it.

00:42:08
Speaker 2: Okay.

00:42:09
Speaker 1: So this website's called estatesales.org. All right. Estatesales.net. you can Google it. You guys know how to use the internet and you'll see you put in the zip code and it'll give you like a 20 mile radius where there's a state sales on the weekend. All right. Well, during the week even. So yeah, my little thing, my little pony. So, you know, I'm going to change the topic altogether here. No, don't you dare. But I wanted to say that people, people, People are going to disagree with me on this too. Are you pissing people off again? I'm pissing people off. Okay. Cause I'm a mad, I'm a, I'm a, I'm an angry man. I'm an angry old man at this point. You gotta be chill. You gotta be chill like me. Oh yeah. Cause you let things just like roll off your, your back. Roll off baby. Roll off. The biggest, the biggest assholes on the road. Who are the biggest assholes on the road? Oh, I got easy BMW drivers. Yeah. I knew you were going to say that. I set you up for that one. No. Truck drivers? Nope. Ambulance drivers? Police cars? In my opinion. Toyotas? Bicyclists. Oh, on the road running, man, on the parkway. Cyclists are the biggest assholes because they think that, well, I'm not a car. I'm not a pedestrian. I'm somewhere in the middle. And the rules of the road may apply to me. Could be a gray area. Maybe I don't have to stop at red lights. I can just keep going. But the motor... Specifically motorized cyclists. Cyclists, bicycles, like the e-bike people specifically. And the people who just go... Like they think they're in the Tour de France. They don't obey shit. They actually... They think they're God's gift. They think they can run over fucking pedestrians. They don't have to look. Right. I'm saving the planet, so I get to cut you off. A lot of times, sometimes you'll see them going the wrong side. They're driving the wrong way, which is suicide, if you ask me. But they're driving the wrong way on the road against traffic, when you should be riding with traffic. But there's one thing that they don't adhere to, which burns my ass. Here in New York City... We've had this long, well, over the last 10 years, they've converted a lot of Manhattan and Brooklyn and a lot of the boroughs, and you may have this in your city too, to be more bike-friendly, where they create a lane just for them. It's usually colored green or something like that. They've had to redraw... The lines and the lanes where they would do the parked cars, the parked cars are not on the curb now. Now they're like kind of, the parked cars are now like several feet off the curb to make way for this green lane for bicyclists. And it takes away a lane of traffic from the cars. So what was once a three-lane highway, a three-lane is now two. Or two lanes are now down to one lane. So it's caused a lot of traffic, a lot of congestion, a lot of bullshit. A lot of streets that we grew up driving on, David Brody, are now like Bay Parkway. Remember Bay Parkway? How nice and wide that shit was? Yeah. Oh, it's a nightmare because of the bus lanes. Now they made a bus lane. Yeah. And they made a bike lane and the parked cars. Now it's one lane in each direction. Bay Parkway. It's called a parkway, but it's one fucking lane. It's awful. Well, these bastards. Tell me about the bikes. You almost got hit by one a couple years ago. These bicycling bastards. I'm driving to work in the morning on 6th Avenue in Manhattan. And they have a lane dedicated just to them. What do they do? They drive in the fucking car lanes. Oh, whoa, you can't do that. These bicyclists and these e-bike motherfuckers are riding now in a lane and occupying a lane, the only lane that's left for a fucking car. It's terrible. It should be against the law. They should be literally ticketed, thrown in jail and have the book thrown at them. That's right, yeah. We wasted all this time and money and resources to create a fucking lane for you. We redrew the map. We're redrawing and pouring concrete. into certain areas of Manhattan, just to keep the bicyclists separate. They put up walls, little mini walls for them. They did everything they can to over-accommodate these goddamn bicyclists. Are these bikes that are trying to get over to the other side? All while inconveniencing people traveling in cars. And what do they do? They use the goddamn car lane. They don't even use a lane that's earmarked specifically for them. I get so fucking pissed. This bothers me so much. No, you should.

00:47:17
Speaker 2: Go ahead.

00:47:17
Speaker 1: Let it out, man. Again, you got to be more like me. Just let, just got to chill. Oh, just let it off. I'm just, you know, whatever. So I hope you're not an asshole bicyclist. That's listening to this slices. If you're an asshole bicyclist, that doesn't give a fuck about the rules of the road. No, they're not going to admit it. Drop us a talkback. All right. I actually think that I'd like to think that most people who listen are on our side because they're listening in cars. Yeah. And they're not. Okay. So I was driving home tonight from wherever I was. And I was, I texted scary. I'll be home in like five minutes. I didn't get home for like 10 minutes, but I told him I'd be home in five. Cause that's what the nav said. Picture this two lane road. I'm in the right lane. And so it's two lanes in each direction. I'm in the right lane. The left lane is completely backed up. The left lane is a left turn only lane. So it's backed up. The light's red. And I'm in the go straight lane. Because I want to go straight. To my right is a strip mall with a car. It happened to be a blue Tesla. A blue Tesla is trying to get out of the strip mall. And I'm going straight. So there's no one behind me. So I'm like, all right, you know what? I'll just go straight. And then they can do whatever they want to do. There's no one behind me. Oh, no. The person in the left lane who is lined up with the driveway waves them to go.

00:48:54
Speaker 2: Oh, really?

00:48:54
Speaker 1: Give some permission to cut across. Now, I'm thinking, and I'm assuming the driver is thinking in the left lane, that they're going to go across and make a left in the other direction, right? They're trying to pull out and go across into the other side of the road, make a left, and be gone. No such luck. Oh, no. This person pulls out and then makes a little bit of a right and is now in front of the guy who said, go ahead and cross. Ha ha ha. But because there was only enough room for them to go through to the other side, the back of their fucking Tesla is now blocking my lane. Yep. I can't go. So I'm blowing the horn, like, pull up, pull up. They're not pulling up. Not pulling up. Blowing the horn, blowing. Okay. So now... The light changes, but for the left turn only, but only a couple of cars go. So this person decides they're not going to pull up. They're just going to sit there. Yeah. So I'm blowing the horn, blowing the horn. Finally, they pull up enough where I can go around them up on the sidewalk around them. The guy in the, there's a woman driver. The guy in the passenger seat has his window down, right? He calls me a fucking asshole. What the hell did you do? Well, I blew my horn because I want him to pull up. I have every right to ask him to pull up. What you don't have a right is to come out of the strip mall, cut me off, and just stop. If you can't completely get out of where you want to go, you don't get to go halfway out and block me. I didn't wave you on. And the guy to my left, now I'm sure regrets waving them on. So this person might as well have been a bike rider. Fuck them. Fuck them. Yeah. Now, do I have time to play a bit of audio? Play some audio, then we'll take a break, and then you wanted to talk about Halloween costumes. Yeah. Okay. So, this is a guy talking about... Now, Scary, you know I interrupt you. And you interrupt me. And we interrupt each other.

00:50:54
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:50:55
Speaker 1: And we're New Yorkers. That's how we speak. Yeah. We're so excited for the next thing because everything's always happening really quickly in our lives. As opposed to, like, sit on the porch going... Hey, what are you doing today? I don't know. What are you doing today? So we were raised to talk quickly, move quickly. There's always some place to go. Paper Man, you sent me this video. It's a couple of minutes long, but he explains why we speak the way we do. Oh. I'm going to put the volume up. Turn the volume up. Crank it up. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. There we go.

00:51:31
Speaker 2: Linguist at Berkeley, Deborah Tannen, who is the author of this book, one of my favorites, taped a Thanksgiving dinner with five friends. She and two others had grown up in New York. Two guests were from Los Angeles and one was from London. Listening back to this audio tape conversation, she noticed that the New Yorkers shared a way of talking that she called high involvement with each other. It made the conversation super lively and close with everyone else. It kept backfiring. And there were three key habits to this. Number one was New Yorkers jumped in while everyone else was talking. So with things like I do that, too, you know, jumping in right or by finishing the other person's sentence and to them and show that they were listening, that they were involved. But the Californians in the conversation stopped talking. They heard it as an interruption. One said later that even when he had the floor, he never felt like he was part of the flow because he was always anticipating someone jumping in in front of him. The second was pauses. The New Yorkers left almost no gap between turns. The others kept waiting for the pause. And that was their turn. And then they would jump in. New York would jump in and sort of beat the pause. And so the conversation would keep going. Other people would have less of an opportunity to speak and so on. And then the third was what she called machine gun questions, quick clipped questions, one after another. In one conversation, she recorded a New York woman met a man from L.A. You live in L.A.

00:52:34
Speaker 1: Visiting there. What do you do there?

00:52:35
Speaker 2: Are you an artist, writer, you know?

00:52:38
Speaker 1: Machine gun questions. I love this.

00:52:40
Speaker 2: His experience was that he was feeling interrogated and her experience was she was trying to be engaging. So the same habits can have very different meanings to the New Yorkers in this conversation. It was like, I'm really into this.

00:52:50
Speaker 1: I'm really engaged.

00:52:51
Speaker 2: And by extension, you're someone that I'm engaged with. But to the others, it came across as pushy and annoying, sort of the stereotypical view of the pushy New Yorker, which really, in a sense, is more of a clash of conversational style than anything else. So I'd be curious what your experience is. This is, of course, just one study. She went on to have a very impressive linguistic, sociolinguistic career. But I think this is a very interesting study, how she looked at.

00:53:12
Speaker 1: So we do all three. That's us. So in other words, when I, when, when people, when New Yorkers are like, oh yeah, my God, I did this. I was, I happened to meet the ball game. That's not a New Yorker trying to interrupt you or overtake the New Yorker saying, I love what you're saying. I want to be part of it. And I relate to you. Here's my take on that. Right. And if, if, and like when you, if we don't pause because we have so much to discuss now, is it annoying? A hundred percent. A lot of people, it is. Wow. It's, it's a, it's a symptom of the way we were raised to interact. We, we are engaged in conversation because we're interested in you. If you're with a New Yorker and they don't ask you any questions or like jump into the conversation, they don't like you, bro. They don't. Yeah. They're bored by you. Yeah. They're like, okay. If you're talking and you're like, yeah, so I was at the airport and then I saw this guy and he had a dog. Then I went and got a candy bar. And if the New Yorker hasn't said a word to you, they don't give a fuck about what you're saying.

00:54:11
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:54:11
Speaker 1: They're just waiting for you to end. But if they're like, oh my God, what kind of dog was it? Oh my God, I love those. I had one of those when I was a kid. Yeah. Then they're into it. Yeah. Now you may think like they're going off on your conversation, but that's how we show. How do people, I mean, this is a national podcast. How do people on the other side of the country view us? Well, I told you what happened to me when I worked at Starbucks. Even anywhere else out of the tri-state area. How do they relate to us? Seattle reported me to my boss because they said he's always agitated and rude. I'm like, no, I'm excited to talk to you. Wow. All right. Well, let's take a break. And when we come back. We're going to talk about Halloween costumes, and maybe we'll get to the office space. The Brooklyn Boys Podcast. We will be right back. You had me at Halloween costume, Brody. Yeah, hello as well. I know Halloween is in the rear view.

00:55:08
Speaker 2: I don't know.

00:55:10
Speaker 1: I didn't go. I avoided Halloween this year. A lot of people were shocked. They're like, scary. Scary. how could you not go out for Halloween? And I'm like, you know what? I know it was, it was on a Saturday night. I had a golden opportunity to really party and throw down. But my friends, Joe and Kristen, who throw their Halloween party every year that Robin and I go to, they didn't have it this year. And I'm like, what if we do the opposite? Let's just go to Brooklyn. Let's just fucking go to Brooklyn. We'll go to dinner and we'll just go with a couple of friends. Danny connections, uh, I met Danny Connections and his girlfriend and our friend Cheryl Crowley. And the five of us went to a beautiful Italian restaurant in Bay Ridge called Tarina. Not a sponsor. Did not get free food. So I'm going to mention them. They were fantastic, Brody. But we didn't have Halloween costumes on. Okay. And where did you go for Halloween? Okay. So there was a place 20 minutes away. And I saw they were having a Halloween costume party, which is always fun. And a Metallica tribute band. I'm like, oh. Oh, you love Metallica. A lot of times, a lot of bands are either playing like 90s rock, like Goo Goo Dolls, or that's classic rock. You know, I was like, oh, Metallica tribute band. You know what? I'm in the mood for that. I'm going to go chill, get some food at the bar, you know, whatever. And I'm going to go do a Metallica tribute band. This is great. So I go with my friend who got me the movie ticket. He's like, you want to go? I was like, yeah, yeah. He's like, oh, I like Metallica. Let's go. So we went out. We went out late. It was like after dinner or whatever. We're like, you know what? Let's just go. So first of all, this Metallica cover band, they didn't play one Metallica song. Oh, that's terrible. Did they look the part? They played System of a Down. They played Limp Bizkit. They played Rage Against the Machine. Not one Metallica song? And they looked like Metallica? Did they look like Metallica? No. The one guy was fat as all get out, which is not an expression I ever use, but he was fat. A couple of them looked sickly. None of them looked like Metallica. It wasn't like you go see a Kiss tribute band. They dress up like Kiss. This was just a band I expected to play mostly Metallica. Now, Metallica is known for playing cover songs. So I was like, oh, they'll probably do some cover songs, but they play some Metallica. Now, I got there. They were already on the stage for like 15 minutes, right? So I have to assume they played three songs. Did they play three Metallica songs and then that was it? Those are the only three they know? They didn't play one. They played Rob Zombie, right? They played Dragula. They were good. It was a good band, but not one Metallica song.

00:58:06
Speaker 2: All right.

00:58:07
Speaker 1: That being said, I started looking at the Halloween costume because I dressed up. I put together what I thought was a clever Halloween costume. What were you? I went as a person who plays pickleball and is injured. So, because a lot of the people I play with have knee braces and wrist braces and all that. So I got all of them for all the years I've had surgeries, everything. I got every brace and slip on. And I went with like double knee braces. I had double wrist braces. I had goggles on. Some people play with goggles. But how did you convey that you were an injured person? pickleball player is there something you have a racket with you the paddle it's a it's a paddle and i had a shirt that said i can't i have pickleball meaning like i can't i can't go out with you didn't i have pickleball so i had a pickleball shirt on did people like paddle point it out and laugh and say that's cool yes the guy the guy next to sit next to us at the bar was like that's funny right Cause he was like, they got it. I was like, Oh, I'm injured pickleball player. There's a lot of pickleball players always like, you know, they're a little older and they got to wear like an elbow brace. And, you know, you know, that time I sprained my wrist, I had a brace. You did. I got that. So I got, I remember that. Well, I had no, that was wrist surgery. So I had that. I had the old, I kept it. I had a sling. Like I looked like, like I was in a train wreck. But anyway, here's my problem. There were some great costumes. Two women dressed as Wonder Woman. I saw a guy dressed as Chewbacca. Some quality costumes. Here's my problem. Simply wearing a hockey jersey is not a costume. It's not a costume. Not a costume. Not a costume. We all have hockey jerseys. Now, If you want to black your teeth out like you lost your teeth, if you have a helmet and a hockey stick, even then, I'm like, well, you probably play hockey, but okay. It's not a costume. You know what else is not a costume? At Tarina, the restaurant I went to, one of the girls was wearing cat ears. Yes! Just cat ears. Look at my phone. It says cat ears. It's not a costume. And I'm like.

01:00:17
Speaker 2: All right.

01:00:18
Speaker 1: She just mailed it in. Okay, now I get it. She's working at a restaurant. Okay. Did she put the black dot on her nose at least? Yeah, she did it. Yeah. Okay. So she's a cat. She's a cat. Did she have a tail? No, no. She didn't wear it. She didn't have a tail. So she just put the clip-on ears over the headband. Yeah. So if I put those bouncy balls on my head, like the boing, boing, boing, like over the headband, is that a costume? No. No. Okay. Also. So that was my second one. Okay. Women who just throw on cat's ears, not a costume. Yeah. If you're a nurse, And you go out in scrubs. That's not a costume. Not a costume because that's a work uniform. That's your work uniform. Yes. Okay. If you work at McDonald's, you put on a McDonald's shirt. Yeah. Not a costume. Right. Okay. Paper menu used to be a police officer. He went out as a police officer with his kid. Not really a costume. However, his kid was dressed as a cop, and that was pretty cool. What about someone who has a black dress on, and they say, I'm Wednesday Adams? Is that a costume? Not a costume.

01:01:19
Speaker 2: No.

01:01:19
Speaker 1: No. I'll tell you what, though. I saw a few years ago a woman in a black dress, and she had a veil. She goes, I'm a woman at a funeral. And I was like, okay. you know she had a funeral in the last six months and now she's using it as a costume no if i walk outside in a bathrobe i'm claiming to be hugh hefner that's not a tony soprano that's not a costume okay what have you put on a suit you're like what's your costume oh i'm a businessman from manhattan you know you're not no no oh i'm dressed i'm dressed as a broker no you're not So, like, you got to have an actual costume. At least put some effort into it. What if you just have a witch's hat with nothing else? No! Anything which is like a cowboy hat, but nothing else. No, then you live in Texas. That's not a cowboy. You got to have cowboy boots. You got to have a vest. You got to have like a fake gun on your hip. You got to have something. The devil horns. You've seen that before. The devil horns. Oh, yeah, the red plastic devil horns. These are not costumes. Now, look, if you have nothing, I get it. You're like, last minute, someone goes, hey, bro, let's go to, let's go. I don't have anything. You got to go, okay. But don't go out and be like, I wore a hockey jersey. Oh, I'm going as the guy's name on the back. What if you just wear a tiara? I'm a princess. Oh, I'm going as a princess? Or if you're... What if you're a chef and you have a chef's hat and an apron and you come out as a... Now that dabbles into your job. Yeah. Okay. So... My friend, my friend said he was going to, he doesn't own a Tesla, but he said he would, if he had a Tesla, he would just get out of the Tesla and tell people he was Elon Musk. And he put like a baseball hat on. That's his costume. I go, that's not a costume. Once you go inside, you can tell people you have a Tesla outside. That doesn't work. Yeah. Like, so I got some slices. What's what? What crappy costume did you throw together that wasn't a costume? Or what examples do you have of people mailing it in? By the way, if you're a post office worker, you're a mailman, and you go out in your mailman costume, that's not a costume. You go out in your mailman uniform, rather. Not a costume. What if I put vampire fangs in your teeth? Not a costume. If you put blood on you and you have a cape, maybe. Now, if you're doing like true blood vampire, give me some blood. Give me something, you know. Okay. How about this one? Go ahead. What if you just came out with a pair of angel wings or butterfly wings, but nothing else? Is that a costume or is that a half-assed costume? Okay, let me ask you this. Let me ask you this. If the two lesbians who just moved in go dressed as each other, is that a costume? No. No. Oh, okay. Yeah, I hate that when people are dressed as other people, but it's an inside joke because it's their friends and you don't know them. Okay, now if a husband and wife change clothing, that's funny. Yeah. But if you're a gay couple and you change clothing, I don't think that counts. Right? Like if Mike and Steve go to a bar and they're like, hey, what's your costume? I'm wearing Steve's clothes. Yeah, I'm wearing Mike's clothes. If you don't know Mike and Steve, you're like, okay. Okay, what if I wear a suit and tie? Am I James Bond? Well, if you order a martini, I guess, it's shake and not stir. I will say, though, I will say, shout out to my boy, Jay Smaller, Jason and Denise. They went as Daddy Warbucks and Little Orphan Annie. And Jason put on the bald wig and somehow got it flush with his skin. Oh, the bald cap. And I'm like, that's fucking awesome. The bald cap. That's a costume. But all he had to do was wear a tuxedo with a bow tie. Done. Done. But I knew he was Daddy Warbucks because of the bald. Yeah, that's fine. That's a costume. I'm okay with that. He wore the bow tie. He wore the bow tie, the tuxedo, and the bald cap. I'm like, okay. If you wear a bald cap and a white t-shirt and you're Mr. Clean, that's fine. That's a costume. At first, I thought when he posted the picture into the group chat, because we got our Brooklyn Boys group chat. Sorry, you're not a part of that. You're not. You're not. Yeah, it's the other Brooklyn Boys. He posted it. I said, are you Billy Corgan at a funeral? Are you Billy Corgan from Smashing Pumpkins? Like, I don't know. But anyway. If I wear a jacket and tie, can I just go, oh, I'm going as Colin Jost? Like, is that, you can't do that. No, no. Now, if you have a desk, if you walk around with a desk in front of you, like a cardboard desk, then yes, you're like, oh, that's a good costume. One night stand. The one night stand. That's so old. That's so old. I know. Like, at some point, you know. And by the way, Remember you were talking about last week about how Gen Z, is it Gen Alpha? Gen Alpha reinvents everything. Gen Z is the Christopher Columbus generation. They think that they discovered everything. Okay. So I'm watching a gamer on TikTok and they're playing GTA 5, but it's modified where you pretend you're a police officer. Right? Like it's modified where you play a cop. Right? Okay. And so this guy says to this girl, hey, what's the difference between jam and jelly? We know the answer to that joke. That joke is a hundred years old. Yeah, but a lot of slices don't even know the answer to that. Right. Yeah. Right. So my point is, I can't jelly my dick down your throat. Or in your butt, whatever. I can't jelly my dick down your throat. Yeah. That's awful. That's a terrible joke. But when I saw it, I'm like, Oh my God, here's some like 20 year old kid is like trying to be funny. And I'm like, and she didn't know, she didn't know what it meant. I don't know. What does that mean? And I, nobody else knew. No one else like ruined the joke. I was like, I gotta get out of here. And I swiped away. I was like, guys.

01:07:14
Speaker 2: Yeah.

01:07:15
Speaker 1: But people bring back jokes too. Like, you're like, Oh, that's like, but to us, it's like, that's an age old joke. Another thing that Gen Z is experiencing in, is in the workplace is something that is a colossal failure. And that's that, you know how a lot of times like the Google, the Apple, the Facebook and all that, those cool companies, they instituted that open floor space plan, the open space floor plan a few years, quite a few years ago. Sure, yeah, yeah. In fact, at the iHeart building here where I work, this building, the new building has, it's just basically like, fuck it. It's all about... One giant-ass room with all these desks that are communal, and they're agnostic, and you have to rent the desk for the day. It doesn't permanently belong to you. There's no cubicles. There's no panels up in front. So it's all open. And then all the offices for the supervisors are all glass, like glass offices to see through, to show transparency. Show transparency. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. That means they can spy on you. That's not what they're doing. If you look up slices, Brody, look up the idea, the concept behind why they did this. And it was because these CEOs, these top brass of these companies wanted to, they wanted to invite group efforts, teamwork, camaraderie. Everyone's working together. Everyone's on the same page. Bullshit. was the idea behind. They want to see who came in late and left early. That's what they want to see. Okay. Who's on their phone? Who's not working? But they wanted to show that we're all together here and we all work together and we collab. Then why are the big shots in the glass offices? What they found out... What they found out is what we see today. Is that people are in these offices now. They're in their fucking headphones. Because they don't want to be bothered. They want to block out the noise. They're in their own little space. And when they want to take a meeting, they run to find an empty fucking office to have their meeting. Like... There is no, it's created, the opposite effect has taken over for these open floor plan spaces. Like, the whole plan backfired. So I'm talking about these, again, when you consider like old school offices of the 90s and 2000s, you had cubicles, you had privacy, you had visors, you had everything. You had your space. Yeah, you could also, you know what? Also, you could put up pictures of your family and have like, you know, your favorite pen holder. And your space had permanence. You took ownership of it. Now you can't even clean out your desk. You don't have a desk. You have to, you have to log on and reserve a desk for yourself. And you have to have everything cleaned out because by the end of the day, because it doesn't belong to you tomorrow. And it's just a, it's just a hard, but, but also it's wide open and everybody's seeing everybody's business. And if somebody's like, comes to talk to one of your coworkers and they're loud, they're like standing over you too. So you, You know, the open floor plan I think needs to go away. No, and the glass walls. Let me tell you something. When I was at the company, I worked for two different departments. I was on the morning show and I worked for the comedy department. So after I finished up on the morning show, I would go upstairs to the top, the next floor, and I had an office on that floor where I could write comedy with Spruce and we had comedy studios. but I had my own office, had a nice window, whatever. Now I had an office on the morning show. I had a window, beautiful spot in the morning show. And because I worked late, everybody would leave and I'd have the whole office to myself. And it was a door so that when, you know, you want a privacy or Danielle or Greg T, whenever they went home, I could close the door. I was the only one in there and I get some work done. But also, I wanted to take a quick nap. I could put my head down on the desk. Yep. Because I was, you know, you get there five in the morning, you're 4.30 in the morning, you're tired. I put my head down. Who's going to know? The door's locked. I'm in my private space. But when I went up to the comedy studios, the wall where the door is, is glass.

01:11:56
Speaker 2: Yeah.

01:11:56
Speaker 1: So you could not put your head down for two seconds. You couldn't get like a minute of privacy. So, because the bosses, the comedy guy, the guy ran the comedy department, he'd walk by and look and go, hey, how's it going? He would say, And I'm like, fuck, I just want to close my eyes for two seconds. Yeah. So I don't like that glass wall thing, but now I, I definitely know why they have it so they can watch you and check up on you and, and, and make sure you're not doing anything. I was like, I just want to like close my eyes for a second. Can't do it. So the open floor plan, hell no. Yeah. I want that to go away. That, that needs to go away because it, it, You can't have a quiet phone call, even if it's business related. What it set out to do, never accomplished, and now the opposite happens. Anyway, all right. I'm okay with open floor plan in my house. Love that. But anyway. Open concept. All right, that's about it. That's all we got for today. I thought I had one more quick thing. Hold on. You may or may not. Otherwise, we can save it until next week. No, no. Check off your list. Check it twice. Find out who's naughty and nice. Oh, wait. Hold on. Oh, the music's here. Oh, damn it. Ah, the music. Foiled by the Brooklyn Boys music. All right. Thanks for listening. I'll tell you my story about ice next week.

01:13:16
Speaker 2: Ice?

01:13:16
Speaker 1: Not that ice. Like frozen water. Frozen water ice? Right. Boys from Brooklyn!