#393: Live Laugh Love

00:00:00
Speaker 1: Start up, start up. Start up. Brooklyn Boys. Start up. Brooklyn Boys. Start up, start up, start up. They making noise. Start up. Start up, start up, start up, start up, start up. Episode 393. It's the Brooklyn Boys podcast. What's going on, David Brody?

00:00:23
Speaker 2: Not much, Gary Jones. We are early in the week. I feel good about this. Don't feel good so fast. We're doing it early in the week because I'm making a quick departure. I'm exiting stage left.

00:00:35
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know. I'm traveling at the end of the week, so there's no time for this. You've worked three weeks in a row. God help you. You need a vacation. Yeah, I'm going to go take a pill and Ibiza. All right. Very good. That's what his name was. Actually, they're having the closing party there this week, this weekend. So I can't wait. I don't know what that means, the closing party. What does that mean? So as you know, some of the biggest clubs on earth and most popular places to party in the world are these clubs in Ibiza. And they close for the season this weekend. This is the last weekend. All the big clubs. So they're closing weekend. So they have a big blowout and a lot of big names come to town. So I'm going to try and get in to see. We'll see David Guetta, Black Coffee. Let's see. Roger Sanchez and the Martinez Brothers.

00:01:26
Speaker 3: Who?

00:01:27
Speaker 1: Who? Black Coffee, David Guetta.

00:01:29
Speaker 4: What?

00:01:30
Speaker 1: Roger Sanchez. I know David Guetta. Who? All right. Who are these people? If you're in... The same way I don't know your shitty-ass fucking rock music. Oh, did I insult your doo-doo-doo-doo-doo music where DJs play MP3s and pretend they're doing something? I don't know your thrash metal bullshit that you sling at me. I'm not a thrash metal fan. Whatever that stuff is, that fucking hairband shit from the 80s and the 90s, glam metal. I know Guns N' Roses, but I don't know the rest of them. I listen to hard rock. I listen to heavy metal. I listen to a lot of music. Great. I listen to Yanni. All right. I listen to everything.

00:02:05
Speaker 4: Then?

00:02:05
Speaker 1: Respect Black Coffee. He's one of the biggest EDM artists of all time. Well, that's like being a senior in public school. It's not really a... And David Guetta's great. Anyway, that being said, you know, yeah. Black Coffee. God, sing me one of his songs. No, they're all rhythm. They're all Afro beats. They're all like, they're vibey chill music. They're chill dance. Beatbox. Beatbox one of them for me. I'm not going to beatbox it. Listen, if you know, you know. If you don't, that's okay too. But anyway. But you don't dance. So I don't understand. Oh, you go for the experience. I'm going with Tall Darren. Remember him? Of course I remember the couch crasher. Oh, the guy, the guy who returned your inflatable bed to target after he slept on it.

00:02:49
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah.

00:02:50
Speaker 1: So anyway, it's, it should be cool. I've never been to a visa in my life. Very excited. So yeah. And then I'm going to be in Charleston next weekend. How about that?

00:02:59
Speaker 2: So you've never been to a visa in your life. I feel like that's, and I've never been to Charleston in my life either. I can't, can't wait to check that out. You know, I've got, listen, I've come to the conclusion that life's too short. So you just got to live. You got to go places. You got to visit while you can. I think I saw a Hallmark card once. It said, life is too short.

00:03:22
Speaker 1: Go to Ibiza and spend $ 500 on light switches. That's what the card said. It didn't rhyme. By the way, I'm saying Ibiza because some people say it that way. I thought you were going to tell me about the, the live, laugh, love, uh, poster that you mounted in your, in your bathroom. Like everybody else.

00:03:38
Speaker 3: I do.

00:03:39
Speaker 1: I do not have that in my, from Michael's or target wherever you go. It's over my, it's over my bed. The live, laugh, love. Come on slices. Someone out there has a live, laugh, love, um, canvas, canvas picture, which is fine.

00:03:54
Speaker 2: If that, if that's your, um, motto in life, there's a lot worse things you could have as your motto. living and laughing and loving. Not wrong with that.

00:04:03
Speaker 1: No, but you see, the thing is I've gotten shit from people over the years to be a basic bitch when it comes to wall art, like my old apartment. I mean, okay. Okay. Bare naked ladies. This old apartment.

00:04:17
Speaker 4: Right.

00:04:17
Speaker 1: Good stuff. Just old apartment.

00:04:19
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:04:19
Speaker 1: Great song. Sorry to the lady who doesn't like when we do that.

00:04:22
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:04:23
Speaker 1: You know, um, in my old apartment, I, um, I had a, um, picture, you know, I had the art of, um, Starry, a starry night. Cause you've talked about it on this podcast and people say that that's basic bitch. I also had, um, an American girl in Italy, which I think you might've all had this poster. Some of you, it's the, it's the woman. It's a black and white photo of a woman walking down the street in Naples, I guess. And there's like 11 guys all over the place that happened to all at the moment, capture this woman, uh, like in motion, they're all staring and gawking at her. And this, this woman is like, Oh, you know, she's like, take, and people say that that was, that that was not brilliant because it wasn't a photo that was captured in the moment. It was staged and people posed for that picture, which is a travesty to me. But anyway, so yeah. What about, what about, what about the Nighthawks picture? I had one of those too, Edward Hopper. Yeah, you had that, right? You know what else I had? I had the nine guys on a steel girder eating their lunch. Yeah, you had that, yeah. What's that, the Empire State Building? No, but you went to Prince Plus in the mall 20 years ago and got all the cliche pictures. I did. Come on, you didn't have the workers sitting on the steel girder eating their lunch from the 1930s? No, I'm surprised you didn't have dogs playing poker. I had that one in my old apartment.

00:05:57
Speaker 5: Shut up.

00:05:57
Speaker 1: No, no, no. Remember the apartment I shared with Greg T?

00:06:01
Speaker 5: Yes.

00:06:02
Speaker 1: We had dogs playing poker in that one. Oh, I don't remember that. I remember the video game you had. I don't remember the dogs playing poker. I had dogs playing poker. Shut up. That's such a cliche. Is that a basic bitch? Did you have any Ansel Adams black and white pictures of mountains? No, no. Because that was big for a while. Didn't have that one. Come on, you had some cliche ones. What cliche posters did you have? No. No, I don't recall having any of the ones you mentioned. I think what I did was I said, I want the greatest hits of artwork and just put them in a cheap frame and call it a day. I don't know if photographs are considered artwork. Maybe they are. I don't know.

00:06:40
Speaker 2: But yeah, now look, as far as the Nighthawks one, I like the ones where they replace the characters in the painting with a theme. Like if it's Muppets sitting at the coffee shop.

00:06:50
Speaker 1: Okay. Then I'm like, okay. I'm cool with that. I guess I make it funny. I mean, look at, look at the picture behind me. Is this basic? Yeah, it's Keith Haring. It's like everybody did the Keith Haring thing back in the eighties. Yeah. But this one says DJ on it and it's a dog, a barking dog behind two turntables and spinning. And then he's, he's replacing the records and he's scratching with his other hand. That sort of looks like boobs. Looks like boobs. Well, the turntables look like boobs. Yeah. It's good for you. I mean, it's a very Scary Jones picture. Yeah, and I like the colors. They match. They go with the wall.

00:07:30
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah.

00:07:31
Speaker 1: Okay.

00:07:31
Speaker 4: It's good.

00:07:32
Speaker 1: I like it. Yeah, I like it a lot. But that's basic. What other basic pictures are out there that people have on their walls?

00:07:40
Speaker 3: I mean.

00:07:41
Speaker 1: Oh, there's the one with the martini glasses. There's the martini glasses with the olives, and the olives are like people. They're like little mini people, and they're on the martini glass. There's an artist who does that. Brody's looking them up here. What do you got? I'm looking to see which ones we're missing.

00:08:04
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:08:04
Speaker 1: No, it's not telling me what I want. I'm going to ask chat right here, Vic. Give me 10 pieces of artwork that everyone in America has. The most popular, famous ones that people have on their walls. All right.

00:08:20
Speaker 3: The usual suspects that show up in dorms, living rooms, dentist offices. One, Starry Night. Monet's Water Lilies. Three, Van Gogh's Sunflowers. Four, Clint's The Kiss. Five, Da Vinci's Mona Lisa. Six, Vermeer's Girl with a Pearl Earring. Seven, Hokusai's Great Wave. Eight, American Gothic by Grant Wood.

00:08:45
Speaker 1: Yeah, I got that one on my list. Nine, Hoppers, Nighthawks.

00:08:48
Speaker 3: And ten, something like The Last Supper. All of those are perennial poster bestsellers.

00:08:54
Speaker 4: All right.

00:08:55
Speaker 1: What about the, Oh, Audrey Hepburn breakfast at Tiffany's. Yes. That one. Oh, how about John Belushi college? He's got the, he he's John Belushi from animal house. There's a black and white. I don't think that's a thing anymore, but it used to be. So you had lunch atop a skyscraper. Lunch atop a skyscraper, American girl in Italy. I thought I was so fucking... The Kiss, your guy mentioned. The Son of Man, painting of a man in a bowler hat with a green apple floating in front of him. I've seen that one. Albert Einstein sticking his tongue out. Yes, that one. Albert Einstein. The Beatles, Abbey Road. Dude, I had that growing up in Brooklyn on my wall. I had that on my bedroom wall. The Beatles, Abbey Road.

00:09:47
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:09:47
Speaker 2: Also not on this list, but if you have a sign that says it's wine o'clock, I'm putting that on the list.

00:09:52
Speaker 1: It's wine o'clock. It's wine o'clock. But every bathroom has live, laugh, love. And it's usually in, it's, it's, it's in like, um, it's on wood. It's like a wood plaque easily or a canvas. So I, I bought a live, laugh, love sign maybe 15 years ago. Yeah.

00:10:12
Speaker 2: And I had it on my staircase. And at some point when it became, Oh, you've got to live, love, laugh sign. My family took it down and hid it behind the couch and put up a different sign and said, we're done with it.

00:10:26
Speaker 1: That's it. And I said, where is it?

00:10:28
Speaker 2: They said, it's gone. So they decided for me that that sign was done. It had served its purpose and it was out.

00:10:37
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:10:37
Speaker 2: So I never saw that sign again. Well, the reason that I saw it behind the couch and then I, then it was thrown out.

00:10:43
Speaker 1: The reason why my walls are bare here is because, um, I don't want to do the basic bitch stuff. You know, I want to be able to, you know, get something a little cooler or something that people haven't seen before. So I'm having trouble decorating my walls. So that's my next project here in the big apartment.

00:10:59
Speaker 2: Lorena can spend more thousands of your dollars. And by the way, being basic, if you have one of those signs on your wall, nothing wrong with it.

00:11:06
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm just as basic as they come. You know, that's right. I'm only making fun of scary. Cause he had all of them at once. I did. That's, That's really the issue. If you have one or two of them and you're like, I like it. You could like Nighthawks. It's a classic picture.

00:11:20
Speaker 2: Although I prefer the jokey ones where like Star Wars characters are sitting there. Like that's my, that's more my style. Funny takes on.

00:11:28
Speaker 1: Albert Einstein with his tongue out. That's hysterical. Or the cat hanging from a rope that says, hang in there, baby. Remember that one? Everyone had that for a while. That was a big deal. Okay. All right. I'm over this one. All right. We'll be right back. The Brooklyn Boys Podcast.

00:11:46
Speaker 3: We will be right back.

00:11:48
Speaker 2: Now, Skiri, I have a lot to cover here. But I wanted to talk to you about, I want to talk to the ladies for a minute.

00:11:58
Speaker 1: All the ladies. All the ladies. Hey, ladies. Beastie Boys.

00:12:02
Speaker 2: Imagine you're in a club. You're in a dance environment. And some guy, like, dances up on you. Like, comes up, starts dancing with you. Like, dancing real close?

00:12:15
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.

00:12:17
Speaker 2: And then the song ends, and you haven't really made a lot of contact, like, you're not talking a lot, and you're like, you're clearly like, you want to dance with somebody else, right?

00:12:26
Speaker 1: Okay, Whitney.

00:12:27
Speaker 2: Don't say it. Dance with somebody else. Okay, someone else. And they're not taking the hint. Ladies, think about You can leave us a talk back. How you get out of it. How you like, you dance with your girl.

00:12:43
Speaker 1: What do you do?

00:12:44
Speaker 2: The reason I'm bringing this up is I play with a girl, a young woman. I want it probably in her late twenties, a pickleball, maybe early thirties, somewhere in there.

00:12:53
Speaker 1: And she's single. Very nice girl. And I don't know how the subject came up, but she was saying she had a terrible weekend. I think we're playing Sunday morning. She had a terrible night. That's why she was tired. I'm not playing well. I'm tired.

00:13:04
Speaker 2: I went out late last night, a terrible night. I'm just, forgive me. I'm not playing well. I said, oh, what was wrong with you tonight? What happened last night? She says, oh, I was at this club and I was dancing. You know, I'm single.

00:13:15
Speaker 1: I'm, you know, I'm looking to meet people, whatever. And this guy who I'm not into starts dancing up on me. You know, he's like sexy dancing and doing the grind and the butt. He's not touching her, but he's, you know, he's doing the button. No, but she said he was doing like, you know, the overbite and the, and the grind in the hips and whatever. And she wanted none of it. So when the song ended, she figured like, Oh, he'll take the hint that I'm not making eye contact. I'm sort of, I'm dancing. Like, you know, I'm dancing, but I'm moving that little, little to the left. I'm dancing on my own. Okay. And again, she's, you're trying too hard.

00:13:51
Speaker 2: And so she's trying to get away, but he keeps like, so finally she tells me, I said to him, Hey, it was nice dancing with you.

00:13:58
Speaker 1: I got to go poop. Like she legitimately said, I got to go poop. What a great ender. Right. I mean, you know why? You can't recover from that. As a guy, you're just, you have no choice but to, you know, say, all right, see you. See you later.

00:14:12
Speaker 2: I'm going to tell you what happened next, but guys also leave us talkback slices.

00:14:15
Speaker 1: Guys, at this moment, what would you do? Would you? All right, CDI. Thank you. Would you wait? Take a deep breath.

00:14:23
Speaker 2: Would you wait around? And wait for her to come out of the bathroom. Would you be turned off by the whole, I got to go take a poop? Because she didn't say, I got to go to the ladies room.

00:14:31
Speaker 1: She definitely definitively said, I got to go take a poop because she wanted to gross the guy out. So you leave her alone.

00:14:36
Speaker 3: Right.

00:14:37
Speaker 1: So guys, scary would be grossed out. He'd be like, I'm out. I'm out.

00:14:40
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:14:41
Speaker 1: Oh yeah. Yeah. There's no recovery from that.

00:14:43
Speaker 2: Like the hot, like the hot girl at work at Z100 back in the day when you went in the bathroom and she blew it up and you were like, yeah, she's not hot anymore.

00:14:50
Speaker 1: Remember that? We talked about that. That's right. Podcast.

00:14:52
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:14:52
Speaker 1: She was like, Oh, the hot girl, the hot girl, the hot girl. And then you went in the bathroom and stunk and you're like, Oh, it's not hot anymore. Okay.

00:14:59
Speaker 2: So ladies, what would you do to get out of this? Have you ever gotten at like gotten stuck and you couldn't get away? What did you do that worked?

00:15:06
Speaker 1: So here's what she did.

00:15:07
Speaker 2: She went to the bathroom and she stayed there for a good 10 minutes, even though she didn't have to go to the bathroom. When she came out, he was still on the dance floor, looking towards the bathroom, waiting for her to come back.

00:15:18
Speaker 1: From the poop. Wow. So she left. She went home. She told her friends. She texted her friends, I'm leaving. First of all, if I was a guy, well, I am a guy. If I was a guy who was looking to pick up like that and she told me that I got to poop, I would just take a hint right then and there. I'm like, clearly, clearly she does not want to continue this dance. I'm out. You'd think. Well, yeah, I mean, because I could read the room, but this guy didn't.

00:15:56
Speaker 2: What if the girl is into you, but that's just the way she speaks? Or if you're cool with it, what if you're like, yeah, she's hot, I don't care, let her go poop? I would have taken the hint. If the girl says... I'm going to go poop. I take that as she's trying to gross me out.

00:16:12
Speaker 1: Of course. Yeah. I mean, otherwise she would just be like, I have to excuse myself. I have to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back. Just like that. You don't go further than that. There's no need. There's no need to add detail unless there's intent. You have other intentions. And the other intentions were to get rid of the guy.

00:16:30
Speaker 2: But wouldn't it have been a little easier just to say, hey, that was fun. Have a good night. Like, how do you get out of it? I've never been the woman in the relationship to go, what do I say to get away? And women don't come up and dance on me. So I've never had to like awkwardly like, okay, you know, although recently I was sitting at a bar and a woman sort of hit on me and I made it known I wasn't interested because I gave her a one word answer and I kept turning away.

00:16:53
Speaker 1: Like, so you're from around here. If you remember on this podcast, I think it was last year. I was in Miami with Nate from the big show. And there was a girl who was dancing up on him, going nuts, going crazy. And he was like, girl, get away from me. I don't want to. And he basically was like, we got to figure a way out of here. And his exit strategy was, oh, I'm not feeling so well. I've got to go to the bathroom. And then I said, I'll show you where it is. And Nate and I went into the bathroom. We walked all the way to the other end of the place. It was a restaurant slash nightclub.

00:17:33
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:17:34
Speaker 1: And it was Kiki on the River, actually. Kiki on the River. Nobody knows what that means. It was a big Sunday afternoon, Sunday night party, rather. And, yeah, we went into the bathroom. And he's like, dude, all right, let's just hang out in here for a few more minutes. She'll know I'm taking a dump, and we'll shake her. Well, seven, eight minutes go by. We get out of the bathroom. We start walking back. Seven, eight minutes for a dump? That's not enough time. Well, it's too much time for piss, right?

00:18:03
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:18:03
Speaker 1: So you knew there's something going on there. Anyway, seven, eight minutes, we go back and she's still there. And so she did not take the hint. She doubled down and thought, all right, I'm just going to wait. So I guess if you're into somebody and you see the world through rose colored glasses and you're saying there's a chance, you're not going to see those social cues. You're going to miss them every time. Am I wrong? No, I think you're right. I think, yeah, I think that's what this guy, he missed the social cues.

00:18:42
Speaker 2: He was like, oh, she's got to take a dump. She's letting me know where she's going and she's letting me know she'll be back. She didn't say it wasn't a no, right? Like you're saying there's a chance. She didn't say like, I'm not interested in you. She's like, I'm just letting you know where I'm going, giving you a timeframe and I'll be back in like 10 minutes.

00:19:02
Speaker 1: And he waited. So she left.

00:19:04
Speaker 4: Okay.

00:19:05
Speaker 1: So, all right.

00:19:06
Speaker 2: I guess that's the thing. I guess the bathroom thing isn't as much of a turnoff or an obvious hint as one might think.

00:19:15
Speaker 1: Hint, hint. All right. We'll be right back. And when we do come back, Brody, I need your help on something. I think I know where you already stand on paying for one of your boys for dinner. I'm out. Yeah, I'm out. I'll save you time. Exactly. So you know that I've known my Brooklyn crew longer than you. The other Brooklyn boys. The ones that I keep talking about. You've known them longer than I've known them or you've known them longer than me? I've known them longer than I've known you. Yes, you have, yeah. So we go way back to the 7th grade. I know these guys since I'm 12 years old. So a little later I'm getting together with three of them. Anthony LaSalla and my boy Jason Smoller and the bald freak Ron Scalzo. I like two of them. Okay. You don't like that. No, I'm kidding.

00:20:14
Speaker 2: You're making a bald freak Ronnie joke. No, I'm just, I love bald. No, I love, Ron's my favorite. Yeah, Ron moved to Nashville and we don't see him very much anymore. So, and it's kind of weird because we're kind of on the cusp, you know, of his birthday, right?

00:20:29
Speaker 1: And we all have, we've all been celebrated before. So like for my birthday, these guys took me out, but Ronnie wasn't there. For Anthony's birthday, we usually go out. Ronnie wasn't there. For Jay's birthday, Ronnie wasn't there. We go out, we take, and we all pay for each other. Now, combine the fact that it's his birthday coming up next, Bald Freak, and he's in town, and we haven't seen him in like a fucking year at this point. Are we expected to take him out for his birthday? Are we expected to the three of us split the check at the end of dinner tonight? Or we're just like, ah, fuck it. Let's split it four ways.

00:21:16
Speaker 2: Well, there's two ways to look at it. Because he hasn't chipped in on any of your birthdays.

00:21:21
Speaker 1: Correct. Right? He hasn't been part of that. No.

00:21:24
Speaker 2: So he's getting a free meal and never chipped in to help pay for the other birthdays.

00:21:29
Speaker 1: This is also true. Hmm. This is a quandary. I, but nor are we calling this his birthday dinner. So I don't know. I think the pressure is off. I think it's how many, how many days until his birthday from the dinner? Is it less than two weeks? No, but, but that's not, that's neither here nor there. It's also a moment where he's coming in. He's there. He's, He's also spending a lot of time in Pennsylvania and he's traveling all the way in to see us and we're going to have dinner and we haven't seen each other in a while. Don't you also give a person a free pass when you haven't seen them in a while? And you're like, Oh, you know what? We'll buy dinner tonight. You, you, you came all the way here. We live here. You don't, you moved. Do you get a free? I moved away dinner when I visit my friends. Like, think about it from that. Forget about the birthday part. Wait, wait, wait, wait. He's coming up to go to Pennsylvania. He went to Pennsylvania already. He was in town for a wedding this weekend. Not the wedding that I went to either. That was a whole. Oh, we got to talk about that.

00:22:33
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:22:33
Speaker 1: He's not really intact.

00:22:34
Speaker 2: By the way, three of our former morning show interns all got married this weekend.

00:22:39
Speaker 1: Really?

00:22:40
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:22:40
Speaker 5: Yeah.

00:22:41
Speaker 1: You won't remember most of them. Little fun fact.

00:22:43
Speaker 2: Little fun fact, yeah. I'm on social media going, oh, my intern got married. Oh, my intern got married.

00:22:47
Speaker 1: Yeah, Bolt Freak is in town for this wedding, and he's with his parents. He's hanging out with his sister, and he's like, you know what? I want to see the boys. I would say buy him a dinner, because he's spending a lot of money. You don't get to see him. Courtesy dinner. You're not going to see him for his birthday, right? No. No, you won't. It would be nice if he came up for other people's birthdays, but it's... Wouldn't it be nice? Wouldn't it be nice?

00:23:10
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:23:10
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay.

00:23:11
Speaker 2: So, yeah, I'd buy him dinner. I mean, if I were you, I'd buy him dinner. Let me rephrase that.

00:23:17
Speaker 1: If I'm Skiri and the other two guys, Jason and Mike, was it Mike? LaSalla. What's his first name? Anthony.

00:23:24
Speaker 2: All right, Anthony. If I'm one of those guys, yeah, you guys should buy him dinner. 100%.

00:23:29
Speaker 1: We should then. Yeah. Just to be like, hey, haven't seen you in a while. I don't know how it's going to go. I don't know how it's going to go. But now here's the thing. What if, what if he surprises you in three weeks and flies up for his birthday? Does he get another dinner? I mean, now it's birthday dinner.

00:23:46
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:23:47
Speaker 1: You bought him a dinner for coming up, but now you have to buy him a dinner for his birthday. No. Do you? Well, maybe. What are you going to do? Well, how about this one? For years, for years. I was on that Dr. Fat Loss program, which comes up in February, right? I don't do it anymore. No longer a sponsor. No longer a sponsor. For years I did that. Although maybe a sponsor again someday. Who knows? So every February, whenever my birthday came around, I would take a pass on dinner or on my, then my friends taking me out.

00:24:18
Speaker 4: So.

00:24:18
Speaker 1: February? February. February. Yeah. Okay.

00:24:22
Speaker 4: Sorry.

00:24:22
Speaker 1: All right. Franz Ferdinand take me out. Anyway. I got songs all over the place with me. You got to slow down. All right. Can't slow down. Lionel Richie. Oh my God. I got voices in my head. Anyway. So, you know, I'll, I'll say that for several years, for let's for 10 years, I didn't partake. No one bought me fucking dinner for my birthday. My birthday was bypassed altogether, nor did they make it up to me in March when I was off the diet. But here I was having dinner and paying for dinners for all my other friends when it was their turn. You fucked that up. No, but if you're in a group situation where we take, let's say we take Will out for his birthday and I'm like, all right, great. I guess I've got to chip in here too. Everyone's chipping in.

00:25:15
Speaker 2: Well, but it's the same thing like the weddings. You pay for everybody's weddings, but you're never getting married. It's exactly the same as that. Yeah, but you chose that life, so you get nothing. Listen, you and Robin should have a we've been together party so you.

00:25:29
Speaker 1: Can get gifts. Yeah, it's not a bad idea. You get the catering hall or the big restaurant and you have a we've made it this far party. And everybody gives you gifts to celebrate how long you've been happily together. Something tells me they don't. come correct on the, we made it this far party. I feel like people, well, you don't live together. So you can't register for like, yeah, no, but I feel like people just be like, yeah, this ain't, this ain't real. Fuck this. Give him $ 25 gift card.

00:26:00
Speaker 2: Bring that up on the big show. Tell Elvis that you want, you're thinking of having, how long you with Robin? 15 years?

00:26:05
Speaker 1: More. 17. Okay. So for 20 years, our anniversary is this weekend, but I'll be in Ibiza. You're not going to be home or with Robin again on your anniversary? She told me I can go. Yeah, but we're celebrating tomorrow night, though. Yeah, she's banging somebody else. We're celebrating tomorrow night. Yeah. I can't believe you're playing. Okay. Why do you think we lasted this long? Because she's cool like that. Okay, I don't remember who sings that. Cool like that? Cool like that. Cool like that. It doesn't matter. Move on. All right, Akon, doesn't matter. Move on.

00:26:46
Speaker 5: Scary.

00:26:48
Speaker 1: I'm bogging you down with the songs today, boy. Scary. The lady who left us a talkback was right. It's out of hand.

00:26:55
Speaker 2: I'm sure there's a song called Out of Hand. You got to stop unless it's a major hit. If it's a major hit and a hit from a major group, otherwise we're like, oh, I got a dog.

00:27:06
Speaker 1: Oh my God, I got a dog by Jim Smith. on his 1975 album. All right. Okay.

00:27:12
Speaker 3: Okay.

00:27:13
Speaker 1: Enough is enough. Stop. Anyway. So, um, but I, so by Ronnie, but you and you and for your 20th anniversary, you should do a 20th anniversary party. I would even buy you a gift. I don't think people respect that. They don't notice it. It's not recognized in the eyes of the law. There's no sacrament that you've crossed over into. If Paltrow and Chris, what's his face? Martin.

00:27:51
Speaker 2: Chris Martin can consciously uncouple. You could consciously stay coupled. And that could be your thing. I guess I could.

00:27:59
Speaker 1: Hey, we made it this far. We're still together. You're still the one. Stop it. Ha ha ha ha! Shania Twain. Uh, so, um, everybody knows anyway.

00:28:14
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:28:14
Speaker 1: I think you guys should have a party.

00:28:15
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:28:15
Speaker 2: Ronnie get, but if Ronnie comes back in a month for his birthday, you're not, you don't pay for it.

00:28:19
Speaker 1: Is that what you're saying?

00:28:21
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:28:22
Speaker 1: Well, right. We bypass it unless he invites us to Nashville to celebrate his birthday. Then what?

00:28:29
Speaker 2: Well, no, because then you paid for flights and hotels and everything. No, no, you can't buy him dinner when you have to travel there. He doesn't get a destination birthday.

00:28:39
Speaker 4: No.

00:28:40
Speaker 1: No. I love Ronnie. You love Ronnie forever. He's the best. Ronnie's the best. I know him since I'm 12 years old.

00:28:47
Speaker 2: A member of the Off-Air Show, which you can find on this platform. Right here on this Brooklyn Boys channel. Scroll before episode zero, and you'll hear a whole lot of other nonsense.

00:28:57
Speaker 1: And you know what? If you go to our website, thebrooklynboyspodcast.com, and scroll all the way to the bottom. You can do that. You will eventually find the Off-Air Show. The Off-Air Show with Skiri Jones and Greg T. And the bald freak, Ronnie. And two or three appearances from me. Brody's on there, too. God bless. Some people may call the best episodes. Also, Cher Cosenza, from which we had the spinoff podcast, Speaking Volumes, who, by the way, is 35 weeks pregnant at this point. Can you imagine? 35 weeks pregnant. It's wild. Well, as the father of three, yes, I can imagine. It does happen. She's there, right? Nine months, nine, 18, 27, 36. She's due soon. Yeah, very soon. Yeah. Pregnancy is about nine and a half months. The other thing is, I've been a bad godfather to Enzo. Remember, I'm the godfather of her child so I feel like I haven't done my due diligence I haven't really been there for the kid so now she has a girl and a boy right yes Portia and Enzo right now if she has she calls you and says scary I had another girl are you gonna go no like when you found out she was pregnant no way why would I care I wouldn't care if it's a boy versus a girl I'm not that I'm not that guy it was like oh you hope you have a boy why do people do that Oh, what a boy. As someone with three daughters, when we had our first daughter, people were like, when my wife got pregnant again, people were like, oh, you're hoping it's a boy? I'm like, no. And then we had two girls. How rude. Well, it got worse. When we had two girls and my wife got pregnant again, people would ask us to go, oh, you're trying for the boy. Nope. We got an extra bedroom. We're just having another kid. Wow. And plus I told people, I go, we already have the toys and the clothes. Why would I want a boy? Oh, Brody. So you never were wishing for the boy?

00:31:05
Speaker 2: No, I was so in love with my first two daughters that having another one was.

00:31:14
Speaker 1: Fantastic. No, I didn't. I'm shocked because I thought maybe at some point in your life that you're like, you know what? It'd be great to raise them as a Met fan, teach them how to play baseball.

00:31:23
Speaker 2: My kids are Met fans and I taught my kids how to play baseball and swing and throw properly.

00:31:28
Speaker 1: You can do that with girls. I don't know if you know that. But they may or may not be into it. My kids aren't as into sports as I am, but most people aren't. Okay. But they're well-rounded. No complaints, Gary. My kids are absolutely unbelievable. No, I'm not criticizing you at all. I'm just interrogating you. That's all. Well, I'll tell you an awful story.

00:31:51
Speaker 2: When we were expecting our third at the hospital, you know, we were there for the baby. The rooms are either pink or blue, randomly. Like, every other room is pink or blue, whatever. I don't know why they didn't make the rooms pink and blue. But they made, like, one room pink, one room blue. One room pink, one room blue.

00:32:12
Speaker 1: The stupidest fucking thing ever. And we were in a blue room. And we knew we were having a girl. Because at that point, we were like, we don't need the mystery. Like, let's be able to prepare this time. Let's be like, if it's a boy, we need to buy clothing.

00:32:29
Speaker 2: If it's a girl, we don't. We need to repaint the room. Like, we wanted to be prepared. So we knew going in there, and we didn't, you know, we didn't tell anybody.

00:32:36
Speaker 4: So.

00:32:38
Speaker 2: The nurses work, you know, eight-hour shifts. And at some point, one nurse may come on while you're in labor and leave, and the next one comes on. And so you have different shifts come in as you're in labor. And this nurse that we had for the third one, she says, Oh, you know what you're having? Here we go.

00:33:04
Speaker 1: Here we go.

00:33:05
Speaker 2: She says, So we were hesitant to tell her. And she says, oh, you know, because I'm, I think she was something like, I was the fourth daughter. My father was so disappointed that he didn't have a boy.

00:33:21
Speaker 1: Oh, no.

00:33:22
Speaker 2: I hope you guys are having a boy. And so I was like, you know what? We're having a girl and I'm thrilled about it.

00:33:27
Speaker 1: If you're being honest, I'm excited. You wanted to say fucking, right? I'm fucking thrilled. But you didn't say it. Yeah, I didn't. I was very upset. And she goes, oh, are you having a girl? Oh, yeah, my father was so disappointed.

00:33:40
Speaker 2: And you're in a blue room. What a waste of a blue room. That's when I had her removed. I had to go to the front desk and have her removed.

00:33:47
Speaker 4: Wow.

00:33:48
Speaker 1: Like at some point, you're upsetting the two of us. You're making comments like I should be disappointed.

00:33:54
Speaker 2: I'm about that. My wife's about to give birth to a baby. And you're telling me how your father was disappointed. And oh, what a shame.

00:34:02
Speaker 1: We're in a blue room. What a shame.

00:34:05
Speaker 2: It's the greatest, like one of the three greatest moments, more greatest moments of my life, my marriage and my three kids. So people say the darndest things is really where I'm going.

00:34:16
Speaker 1: Kids say the darndest things. Yeah.

00:34:19
Speaker 2: But then again, Scary, you went on air and said, I had a boy when my first kid was born.

00:34:23
Speaker 1: I'll never forget that moment. And you'll never let me live it down. It was an accident. Well, I found the audio. I found the CD. Oh, you want to play it? I don't have it here today. I'm going to, I'll get it ready for a future. All right. That'll appear with the jingles when I bring those home. Okay. We'll be right back. All right. I have, um, I have audio here. I want to play.

00:34:46
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:34:46
Speaker 1: Um, and this is, this is going to be my big, my, this is, this is what I need. I need your help with. I need to know if the driver is crazy or does he get points for ingenuity? Hey, hold on, hold on. Hold on. This guy, Oh, son of a bitch. I hate... I had the video open on Instagram and it closed. All right. This guy was pulled over for speeding. Hi. Yes, sir.

00:35:15
Speaker 5: A little fast.

00:35:17
Speaker 4: I wasn't driving. That's a sex driving autopilot, sir.

00:35:20
Speaker 5: You're in charge, though. So I need to see your driver's license.

00:35:24
Speaker 4: I wasn't driving.

00:35:25
Speaker 1: Okay, so just to pause that. He's driving a Tesla.

00:35:29
Speaker 4: Yep.

00:35:30
Speaker 1: And the car was on autopilot, self-driving.

00:35:32
Speaker 2: Police officer pulled him over for speeding.

00:35:35
Speaker 1: And his argument was, I wasn't driving. You can't give me a ticket. Listen to the whole thing. Hi. Yes, sir.

00:35:44
Speaker 5: A little fast.

00:35:46
Speaker 4: I wasn't driving. That's a self-driving autopilot, sir.

00:35:49
Speaker 5: You're in charge, though. I need to see your driver's license.

00:35:51
Speaker 4: I'm in charge, but I wasn't driving. Doesn't matter.

00:35:55
Speaker 5: You're in the driver's seat. You can blame the car all you want.

00:35:59
Speaker 4: But how can we sort out this problem?

00:36:02
Speaker 5: Do you have a driver's license?

00:36:03
Speaker 4: I do, sir.

00:36:03
Speaker 5: The car doesn't have a driver's license. I need to see your driver's license.

00:36:08
Speaker 4: I can't get anything imposed because this is what it means.

00:36:12
Speaker 5: Sir, I need to see your driver's license.

00:36:13
Speaker 4: Yes, I can give you that license.

00:36:16
Speaker 5: No, not first of all. The first thing I need to see is your driver's license. That's the number one thing.

00:36:20
Speaker 4: I wasn't driving. It doesn't matter.

00:36:22
Speaker 5: You're clearly in charge of the car.

00:36:24
Speaker 1: Well, clearly this is going to go in circles.

00:36:26
Speaker 4: Sir, I was here.

00:36:28
Speaker 1: Listen, listen.

00:36:28
Speaker 5: We're missing the point.

00:36:29
Speaker 4: You are driving. I'm not driving. This is such driving, and I was sitting here.

00:36:33
Speaker 5: Sir, whether you turn it over.

00:36:34
Speaker 4: To the car doesn't matter.

00:36:36
Speaker 1: I was just sitting here. I mean, theoretically, literally, he wasn't driving. I mean, if this goes to court, do you think any judge anywhere will rule in favor of.

00:36:49
Speaker 4: Him?

00:36:50
Speaker 1: Him? No.

00:36:52
Speaker 4: No.

00:36:54
Speaker 1: Absolutely not. Maybe they should sue Tesla. Or maybe they should take Tesla to jail or something. I don't know. He set the speed? You set the speed on the car. I know. I don't know Tesla's auto... Playing devil's advocate. But technically, he was not driving. He's right on that. But it's his car. Okay.

00:37:12
Speaker 2: If you're... If you put the car in cruise control and you're speeding, you set it up, right?

00:37:17
Speaker 1: So on a Tesla, let me ask. I'm going to ask Google. Hold on.

00:37:21
Speaker 4: Let's see.

00:37:21
Speaker 1: Hold on. Who's responsible? If you are on autopilot and driving a Tesla, who sets the speed? You or the car? You set the initial speed. Also choose or adjust it depending on your settings and traffic.

00:37:37
Speaker 2: So you set the initial speed, but the car can also choose to adjust it depending on speed and traffic.

00:37:43
Speaker 1: Right, so if the car defies what you put in as a parameter and goes faster, then his fault is it. Hold on, hold on, hold on.

00:37:53
Speaker 2: Does autopilot on a Tesla ever speed and break the speed limit, or does it only stay within the speed limit unless you set it to go higher?

00:38:04
Speaker 1: Can exceed the posted speed limit depending on the road type? how you configure your speed settings and whether the car holds onto a previously set speed. Okay. So it, it can exceed the posted speed limit, right?

00:38:18
Speaker 2: Depending on the road type. And if you can figure it, so if you configure it to go.

00:38:22
Speaker 1: Let's say 10 miles over the speed limit, because you're like, ah, no one's going to pull me over.

00:38:25
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:38:25
Speaker 2: Then you're telling it to go faster, but, I mean, do you give him any points for trying? Because he tried for like 10 minutes.

00:38:32
Speaker 1: It's a long video. He's like, but sir, I was just sitting here. So does the person just, they don't just get the ticket, they get the points on the license too? Well, I guess, yeah, he gets speeding points unless he goes to court and tries to fight it. I don't know if he went to court. That's a strange situation to be put in. It's very modern. It's very new. We'll see where these go. You know somewhere, somehow, you're going to hear a story down the road about how the judge favored For the driver. I don't know.

00:39:02
Speaker 2: Well, even if you said, like, the car started speeding and I couldn't stop it, I was trying. It's got a computer on board that keeps a record, and it has a camera. You can watch the video on the camera that shows the driver.

00:39:13
Speaker 1: Like, he's guilty. But I love that.

00:39:16
Speaker 2: But he wasn't, like, trying to scam. He legitimately thought he wasn't responsible. He's like, no, I wasn't driving. He wasn't like, I wasn't driving.

00:39:26
Speaker 1: Take it up with Nicholas Tesla. Elon Musk. Anyway, all right. Elon Musk.

00:39:31
Speaker 2: Nikolai Tesla is the radio guy. I got a grammar police for you. Oh, I'm very excited. What do you got? Gary Jones coming in.

00:39:41
Speaker 1: With the grammar police. This is hilarious. What a difference a letter or two make. There was a sign in a glass window of a bakery. What kind of window might it be? Beautiful. Plexiglass or plastic or whatever. Okay. I'll just check it.

00:40:07
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:40:08
Speaker 1: There was all these danishes and little petit fours and stuff. And the sign said, please use tongues to brick pastries.

00:40:19
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:40:19
Speaker 1: So it was like a help yourself. I was more than happy to. I'm going to use my tongue. I was more than happy to use my tongue. Imagine putting your tongue on every single one like Ariana Grande did.

00:40:30
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:40:30
Speaker 1: That's funny. That's a common one. T-O-N-G-U-E-S. Please use tongues to pick pastries. Tongues are spelled what? T-O-N-G-S? I don't know. I think that was funny. Also, speaking of signs, say it. Okay, Tesla. Okay, great. Driving down into the Holland Tunnel on Varick Street, you tell me, I'll give you the after, you tell me the before. There was a pizza place with a big red sign, and it said, Five Boys Pizza. And it's red and white. And then, but if you look closely, the word boys... was pasted over another word. Yeah, it used to be Five Guys. They named their pizzeria Five Guys Pizza. Because it was cheaper to fix the sign. Two letters.

00:41:28
Speaker 4: Yeah, but.

00:41:30
Speaker 1: Why did they have to even fix the sign to begin with? My guess is they got a cease and desist from five guys for copyright infringement. Oh, absolutely. Because they didn't do it on purpose. It looked like, ah, fuck, we paid all this money for this sign and now we have to change it? Let's paste the word boys over guys. And you can even see the word guys underneath it because it was bigger than boys. So what Bonehead thought... Well, first of all, hold on. Is it about... If you own Five Guys Pizza in that space, Five Guys Burgers, because Five Guys is a burger chain, right? Yeah. But you're selling pizza. Does the Five Guys logo and trademark extend to pizza when you are known as burgers? Okay, so the law....

00:42:24
Speaker 2: If a reasonable person, I believe... because there's been similar cases. If a reasonable person might think there's an affiliation and go there, and then let's say they hate it or fight with the manager, and they might think it's connected, then it might do harm to Five Guys Burgers.

00:42:42
Speaker 1: So there could be loss of revenue from Five Guys Burgers, the multi-billion dollar fucking burger chain.

00:42:47
Speaker 5: Right.

00:42:48
Speaker 1: Because if you're trading off of... Someone went in a local fucking pizzeria and they burned their tongue. Or tongue. I'll give you two examples. And I'm going to get, it's a little sketchy on the details, but at one point, McDonald's sued a pizza place in either upstate New York or Connecticut that was like McDouglas Pizza or McDermott's Pizza. And it looked, the logo looked too similar. And it was a Mick. And they were like, nope, we sell McPizza. And that's going to be confusing for people. And they made them change their name. But it just said Five Guys in white lettering. Now the colors were there, the red and the white, but it didn't necessarily, they don't have a definitive font. If you look at the Five Guys logo, I mean, it's just Five Guys. So I'm just thinking that that was pretty damn petty of Five Guys to go after this local mom and pop. Okay, so those of you who live in the South and the Midwest. Assuming that's what happened. Those of you who live in the South and the Midwest have heard of Buc-ee's gas stations? Of course. They're like shopping malls.

00:43:46
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:43:46
Speaker 1: They're massive.

00:43:46
Speaker 4: Huge.

00:43:47
Speaker 1: Like a hundred pumps.

00:43:49
Speaker 2: John Oliver on Last Week Tonight about a month ago did an amazing show about Buc-ee's. That Buc-ee's, which their logo is a little chipmunk or a beaver.

00:43:59
Speaker 1: A beaver. With a red baseball hat.

00:44:00
Speaker 3: Yes.

00:44:02
Speaker 1: If anybody has a beaver or an animal facing in the same direction or an animal in a hat that could be 5% confused with buckies, they sue them into the ground. I know that. They're going after everybody. I heard about this. Buc-ee's is, and they're being aggressive with their lawsuits. They went after people with frog logos, with hamster logos. If it looks at all, whatever the Buc-ee's is, a chipmunk, whatever it is. Yeah, but they were going after animals that weren't even a Buc-ee, a beaver. Wasn't even a beaver.

00:44:35
Speaker 2: It was an animal on a white background with a circle around it. That, that, copyright infringement.

00:44:41
Speaker 1: So, Don Oliver did a hilarious, so what he did was, He did his own line of merchandise, and it was something like Fuckies. Let me see what the brand was. Hold on. John Oliver's Fuckies. Fuckies. Yeah, hold on. It was very clever. It was Buck Off. Buck Off. Yeah, so it was a similar logo, and it said Buck Off. And he said, go ahead and sue me.

00:45:11
Speaker 4: Hilarious.

00:45:11
Speaker 1: You know what? I'm sorry. All these big brands. Bucky's, multi-million dollar company. McDonald's, multi-billion, trillion dollar company. Five Guys, multi... You know, yeah, Buck... Fuck them. That's the logo. Let these people be. They're little mom and pop places. No one is confusing your brand with these people. Let me ask you a question, Scary.

00:45:33
Speaker 2: Let's say somebody starts a podcast with an orange and blue logo and it's called The Brooklyn Guys.

00:45:40
Speaker 1: And there's a Brooklyn Bridge. And it's the same colors. That's different. That's different. That's a copyright infringement. What are you talking about?

00:45:48
Speaker 4: Oh, oh, oh.

00:45:49
Speaker 1: Leave the little guy alone. Let him start a podcast. They're serving pizza. It's a burger joint. They're serving pizza. There's no confusion there. What if the Brooklyn guy's podcast is about football? Yes, the Buc-ee's is the worst. What if they're doing a football podcast? Nothing like us. But the logo looks like us. You got to put it in perspective. Now, look, the Buc-ee's thing's ridiculous. No, they were going... If you look at some of the... I mean, we're not a visual podcast.

00:46:16
Speaker 2: They could have been four guys. They could have been six guys. They need to be five guys pizza.

00:46:21
Speaker 1: Come on. Stop it. Buc-ee's was going after things that had no... They didn't even look... They didn't even resemble a friggin... What is it? I don't even know what it is. Buc-ee's. No, no, no. The animal. It's a beaver. I'm assuming it's a beaver or chipmunk. Whatever the fuck it is. Yeah. Some of these logos didn't even look even remotely close. I'm sorry. No, they did. Don't do that. It's bad enough. It's a beaver. The profit margins are so low. They're going after these people who can't defend themselves. Well, what they're doing. They're throwing their balls around. They're like, look at me. If you open up a quickie mart named Bucky's, B-U-C-K-Y, you're asking for it. But like some of these were like hundreds and hundreds of miles away from any Bucky's in little towns. Like, you know, like there's one stoplight in the town. They're not trying to fool anybody. Like one of them, like on the show, the guy's name was Bucky. Pretty soon, they're going to go after Bucky's Pizza in Denville. Bucky's, I'm surprised they're not going to sue them.

00:47:28
Speaker 2: There's no animal logo. That's not the same thing. He's not a quick marty, he's a pizza place. But yeah, so the Five Guys, Slices, what do you think?

00:47:37
Speaker 1: Should Five Guys Pizza with the same white font be allowed to have a pizza place? Look, if they were like Five Guys Hardware, nobody would care. But you're selling quick food. No, you're out. You're out. So scary this weekend, I went to a street fair with my cousin and I've been to street fairs with her before. We've all been to street fairs. Of course.

00:48:00
Speaker 2: They promise food trucks. They promise entertainment. They promise all kinds of, you know, creative things, whatever. Every street fair, like.

00:48:09
Speaker 1: The same way we were talking about the paintings on the wall. Everyone's got them.

00:48:12
Speaker 4: Yep.

00:48:13
Speaker 2: The street fairs for the most part in every town, uh, is the same carnies in every town.

00:48:20
Speaker 3: Oh.

00:48:20
Speaker 1: They travel from town to town.

00:48:21
Speaker 4: 200%.

00:48:21
Speaker 1: So you go, there's the shark-shaped cutting boards, and there's the turquoise Lazy Susans, and there's the ponchos, and there's the stuff you... Yeah, of course. The jewelry for denim jackets. Well, especially to scale this up, On the state fairs, a lot of those people go from state fair to state fair. Yeah, I'm talking about street fairs. Okay, street fairs, you got Lucy's Sausage. She went from the San Gennaro Feast to the 18th Avenue Feast, and now she was on the 3rd Avenue Festival, too. Yeah, I'm talking about street fairs, crafts fairs. I'm talking about... Oh, you're talking about the shit, like the fucking... The posters and the art and the collectibles and the guy that makes the license plate out of it. No, there's the guy with the pickle table. There's the pickle guy. Yes, yes, yes. Of course.

00:49:17
Speaker 4: Right.

00:49:17
Speaker 1: And, and there's the entertainment, a guy with a little Marshall amp that he got it at the music store and he's plugged his radio into it. I told you about the feedback. We plugged his plug, plug, put his plug into the thing.

00:49:29
Speaker 4: Yes.

00:49:29
Speaker 1: And I got. Right. Right. That was the entertainment.

00:49:35
Speaker 2: And then there's usually, like, one person singing, like, bad karaoke or, you know.

00:49:40
Speaker 1: They're singing the hits. Well, is it traveling? We walked around, Scary. There was, like, 70, 80 booths. And every booth was like, oh, I made jewelry out of metal. It looks like paper clips.

00:49:51
Speaker 2: Right.

00:49:51
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, of course. Yeah, but it's like that with the... I was trying to say it's like that with the food, too. If you've seen one, you've seen them all. All these carnivals.

00:49:59
Speaker 2: And I wonder, like, do people go there and, like, what are... what are you buying that you didn't buy last week? Like, what do you, what?

00:50:07
Speaker 1: Right. And I'm not saying to myself, I went to a street fair a month and a half ago. Why am I going to another one? There's never anything. You know why? Because it's a different street. Yeah.

00:50:19
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:50:19
Speaker 1: There was one food truck and then, you know, and then like, you know, when like the, it ends. Yes.

00:50:24
Speaker 2: And like, so we got to the end and then it was like six spaces and then another, like two, two tents. I'm like, these poor bastards are like, no, one's going to walk past the gap once they're done.

00:50:35
Speaker 1: There you go. Let's go. What are those two down there? They got fucked. Those people got fucked. So my point is with street fairs and, and Oh, Oh, let's, let's stop at the sticker booth. Let's stop at the bees. Yes, of course.

00:50:50
Speaker 2: Look, it's all good. Like the bowls, the bowls are nice, but it's not like, you're like, oh my God, I've never seen anything like this before. I've got to buy one.

00:51:01
Speaker 1: It's like, I don't even know if these people made the turquoise ladies, lazy Susans. Do they just buy them online and show up with a table and sell them at a profit? And God bless them if they do. You know what?

00:51:12
Speaker 5: Great.

00:51:12
Speaker 1: And then guess what? But I can go next week and see the same shark-shaped cutting boards. And you will because you'll see a graphic that says, oh, my God, this street fair is happening. Let's round up the posse and let's go because that's what we do. They got face painting. We're creatures of habit. It's the same face painter. It's the balloon guy making balloons. I don't know why. Look, if you go once a summer, God bless. But I don't understand why you'd go to like three or four of them. How much yarn do you need? Okay. Brody, you're getting very, very angry. I wanted something different. I wanted to be excited. I wanted like, hey, food trucks. I wanted like a good... Something different. If you're hearing if you're if you're one of these people, can you invent a different truck, a different cart, a different booth for Brody? He wants to see me something. Show him some diversity.

00:52:03
Speaker 4: So.

00:52:03
Speaker 1: I was at. Coming in cold. Coming in cold. I was at a restaurant. I don't know if I should name the restaurant. Fuck it, I'm going to name it. Via Corota. I'm name dropping because Taylor Swift eats there all the time. Via Corota is a beautiful restaurant in the West Village. Not a sponsor. And I was out there with Jet Ski Brian. It was a beautiful Friday afternoon having dinner, which is the time between lunch and dinner. Ah, people know. And we're sitting down, chilling, and there's a lot of passersby. And there was a table next to us and... All of a sudden, this woman is walking her dog. I guess a beautiful German shepherd. Walking the dog. The dog's doing its thing. Just walking, walking, walking. As it approaches the next table, the dog, in one felt swoop, jumps up on the table, does a little lift of his head, of his face, and grabs an almond biscotti off the table and keeps going. The dog snapped up an almond biscotti. Now the table had gotten up already and they had left and paid. But I was just thinking how fucking fun. First of all, how often does that happen? If you're, if you're walking in public, does your dog, can your dog actually keep its mannerisms? Can it, can it hold itself? You know, can it, can it hold in the excitement of trying to jump for food in public? Well, I'm assuming people's dogs have stolen food off plates before. Of course. But what if the people were still eating that dessert? And I'm thinking, what would Brody do? First of all, if Brody was at that table and the dog just comes in out of nowhere and just snaps up a fucking almond biscotte off the table and just keeps going, would you tell this woman who's passing by with her dog that they need to pay for your dessert? Yes, absolutely. See, this is where you and I differ. See, I knew it. And I had this conversation with Jessica Bryan. I'm like, if there was people sitting there and that person was David Brody, he would abso-fucking-lutely... like stop the woman and her dog and be like, no, no, no, you gotta, you gotta come out of pocket now and pay me for that. Was it a plate of six? Hold on. It's a plate of six biscotti. Yes. And the dog takes one. Yes. I'll tell the woman so she knows to keep an eye on her dog. But no, I love dogs. Now, If it's the only biscotti, let's say it's like a 12 inch biscotti. Like that's the big, they're known for it. These are the mini ones they give you with the cappuccino, you know, they give you the little mini ones. Nah, then I'm fine with it. But if it was like, okay, let's add a cannoli. If the dog took my cannoli, you'd be pissed. The woman's paying for my cannoli. See, I don't have the balls. Okay, I don't have the balls. Or even if the dog sticks its fucking tongue in my fucking stew, whatever. I don't know. And it's ruined. And I got to get a new one? I don't think I would find this situation so hilarious. I wouldn't even care. I'd be like, oh, how cute. Okay, everyone has a line in the sand. Mine is at cannolis. Scary. You're sitting at an outdoor table at this fancy restaurant. You're eating $ 150 tomahawk steak. And the dog comes over and grabs the tomahawk part and walks off with your $ 150 steak. Now what, tough guy? What are you going to do now? Well, first of all, the restaurant is not accountable at all here. They don't have nothing to do with this. They're not going to give me a free steak. They don't have anything to do with it. Yeah, that's correct. So this is between me. And the woman with the dog on the leash. And the dog owner. We had a dog owner. $ 148 tomahawk steak cooked to perfection with a nice au poivre sauce. I would like to think that she would have the decency to turn around and be like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. I'll pay you for that. What if she doesn't notice it? What if the dog takes a big bite and then lets it go? Well, I would make her notice it. I'd be like, hey, hey, hey, come back here with my steak. Yeah? And then what?

00:56:15
Speaker 4: I would.

00:56:16
Speaker 1: Just call her out on it, but I don't know if I would... And you'd say, so, um... It just sucks because if I'm the dog owner and I just happen to be out walking my dog, minding my own business, and my dog does something weird like that, I wouldn't expect to incur an expense on my walk through Manhattan. I wouldn't expect to be coming out of left field with a $ 50 charge because my dog did something stupid. Let me ask you a question that all the slices are thinking. A guy is sitting in his Tesla and it's driving itself and it drives right into you and runs you over while you're eating that steak dinner. Is the car responsible or is the guy responsible because his car hit you? Well, the guy behind the wheel is obviously going to try and claim that it's the car's fault. And when you own a dog, you are responsible for the actions of the dog. If the dog shits on the street, you don't clean it up. Does the dog get fined? No, you do. The dog eats your steak. The woman's paying for the steak. So if a dog grabbed your cannoli, you'd be fucking pissed and you would say, no, no, no, no. You're going to pay me for that cannoli now. Yeah, if it was like more than $ 7 for the cannoli. Yeah. Now, is the dog cute? Is the woman nice about it and apologetic and feels terrible? The dog was cute. Yeah, but is the woman like, ah, fuck you. I'm not responsible for my dog. I just love the fact that the dog just jumped up and swiped it off the table with its snout. No, the woman's got to be paying attention to the dog and have the dog on a short enough leash. The dog can't do that. But the Tesla analogy is perfect. That dog, that car, you're responsible for your self-driving car and your self-swiping dog. Swipe or no swiping. No, that woman's got to pay you for whatever. Now look, want a little biscotti or as you call it, a biscotte? No, the dog got a biscuit. It's all good. And I would tell the waiter, hey man, can I get another biscotti because that dog ate my biscotti. The waiter should bring you over biscotti. They're not that expensive. But that steak, you know damn well.

00:58:20
Speaker 5: Yeah.

00:58:22
Speaker 1: Maybe. Maybe.

00:58:23
Speaker 4: Alright.

00:58:24
Speaker 1: What do you got? Because we got to get out of here shortly. We're going to get it shortly. Dinner's on the table. I got to meet my friends in the city.

00:58:32
Speaker 4: Yep.

00:58:33
Speaker 1: Okay.

00:58:35
Speaker 2: So I was at Whole Foods real quick, and I wanted to buy some frozen foods, some Asian frozen foods. They've got dumplings and soup dumplings and all kinds of little Asian appetizers in the frozen food section.

00:58:50
Speaker 1: But you know the Asian foods. They like to slip scallions in everything. Everything.

00:58:55
Speaker 4: Everything.

00:58:55
Speaker 1: I think it's hysterical. I'm looking at the dumplings. They're like, oh, pork dumplings. And I'm looking at the ingredients. Scallions. Dough, cornstarch, ginger, scallions. Scallions. What the fuck? So I'm looking through seven, eight boxes. Every one of them's got scallions. Korean barbecue soup dumplings. Scallions. Scallions everywhere.

00:59:17
Speaker 4: Yes.

00:59:17
Speaker 2: Scallions everywhere. So I decide not to buy anything. So I go to the self-checkout. And I notice the woman next to me, very attractive.

00:59:27
Speaker 1: Now, scary... Obviously, I'm not in a position to be looking at other women.

00:59:30
Speaker 2: I just noticed she's very attractive. And I thought to myself, this woman's a catch. There's a beautiful woman shopping at Whole Foods.

00:59:37
Speaker 1: Good for her. She's very nice. And she called over the woman to help her ring stuff up. Very polite, very well spoken. I'm like, this is a nice woman. Very nice. And I see she's ringing up candy, some kind of popcorn.

00:59:52
Speaker 2: And she's ringing up sweet potatoes. And she's ringing up lettuce. And then she puts a giant bushel of scallions on the scanner.

01:00:04
Speaker 1: And I went, she's out.

01:00:06
Speaker 4: Wow.

01:00:07
Speaker 1: You would discount her for that. Well, she was never in. Again, I'm not looking to date. No, but theoretically, you're discounting someone because they bought scallions, something that's actually healthy for you. No, it's the irony. First of all, she should grow her own scallions, which you can do. We just talked about this last week. That's right. No, it was just the irony of the coincidence of.

01:00:28
Speaker 2: The fact that I was like anti-scallions, like, and then she's like behind a whole bushel of scallions.

01:00:35
Speaker 1: I felt like saying to her, you know, you should go get some soup dumplings. They got scallions in them. Exactly. It was just one of those moments I found very funny. Well, you know... you tend to overlook things when you're smitten, right? I mean, all of someone's shortcomings. Yeah, well, obviously I'm not smitten. Well, you overlook things, sure, yeah. I mean, but the thing is, it's so hard to find somebody great in this world, right? Because everyone's, people have so many flaws. I would imagine that if you're a Scallion hater, And you could be matched up with somebody and she's got so many other great qualities and checks all these other boxes. And that fact that she loves scallions and you discount her for that. I think that that's petty. Well, no, I'm more concerned.

01:01:20
Speaker 2: I would be more concerned hypothetically that she would not tolerate me.

01:01:25
Speaker 1: That's my issue. My issue is if she saw me standing 15 minutes in front of the frozen food section, looking at the ingredients of every frozen Asian to make sure there wasn't scallions in the right. There's no way in hell she would spend two minutes with me. Like what?

01:01:39
Speaker 2: Like, you know, I don't have time for this, but I had to return food this weekend. It doesn't matter. I'll bring it up next week. But like she would have like, oh, my God, this guy's insane.

01:01:48
Speaker 1: So comedian Paul Reiser, you know, Paul Reiser is a very funny man about you.

01:01:52
Speaker 2: Brilliant comedian. He's a little older now. So you've seen him like in serious roles. He plays dramatic roles now. He was in Avengers. Anyway, in one of his books, in one of his standup routines and in his book, he says, a good couple, one person loves olives, one person hates olives. And this way, the person who loves olives will eat the olives for you and you can share your olives with them. So I hate olives. So for me, it worked out well. My wife loved olives. So when I bought the book, when we found out we liked that, it worked out for us at the time.

01:02:23
Speaker 1: Like, oh, olives, olives, olives. It's like a long time ago when the book was new.

01:02:27
Speaker 2: But I was thinking like, With that theory, the green onion lady would be like, okay with me because I'd give her my green onions.

01:02:35
Speaker 1: No, I would drive her through. I would drive her right off the court. Of course you would. Like, we have to go, honey.

01:02:41
Speaker 4: Nope.

01:02:41
Speaker 1: I just got to check this bow to see if it's got scallions in it. Give me another two minutes. The font is very small on the box. So, if you find someone who puts up with you, hold on to them.

01:02:53
Speaker 4: Yeah.

01:02:54
Speaker 1: Like my girlfriend, Robin. Yes. Oh, you are so lucky. Robin Dawg! Voice from Brooklyn! Brooklyn! The Voice from Brooklyn!