#370: Let Me Speak To A @&$!@!%$! Representative!!!

00:00:02
Speaker 1: I guess who've just got bad today? The Brooklyn Modes that had been away. They won't laugh so much to see. You know their name is a Brillian Skiry. The Boys. Yeah, it's The brook Boys, episode number three seventy and I see up on the lyrics to the song I know, I know, I'm bad DJ, bad, bad, bad DJ. You used to be a DJ back in the day, Back in the day, I used to DJ. Now I just talk and this the Boys of Back podcast, Scary starts talking. You know, by the way, I noticed something you You smirk every time we play that, and it gets to the part where he says, and you know their names of Brodian Scary. Yes, I do a little bit. It's almost like you wrote that. It is like, but here's the thing. If we play that song, it means you were on vacation. So I feel like having my name first occasionally not necessari thing. So tell the Slices where you were on vacation this time. By the way, when you listen to Slice time, we always say, it's the show about the show. This is the Brooklyn Boys, this is the show, this is the show, this is the main event. And I, yeah, I heard a rumor bin aa rama. Yeah that this episode, the one that we're currently all listening to. Can will hopefully promised we'll be able to be found in the Elvis Duran on demand channel listing of other people's podcasts. Opp yeah you know me. You know, there'll be an iHeart Radio, Spotify and everywhere you get your podcasts. We shall see. So I was in Delray Beach this time around. But where that is it was east That's Rollby Florida, the east coast of Florida. Okay, yeah, somewhere south of West Palm Beach, somewhere north of Miami. There's there's a little place called Kocomo No Delray Beach Beach Poison And uh, you know, that's where I spent some time. And I I you know, the more I go down there, the more I love it. I love South Florida. It makes me start to wonder how the hell we grew up in the northeast and how to deal with cold, brutal winters. I mean the way, even when it sucks there, it's still better than it is here, except when it's a hurricane. Well, and those NATO's or whatever, I don't want that. No, those are the giant lizards of falling out of trees. Those are the ex the rule we you know, all asleep or in a coma whatever they are, you know. And those giant bugs, pal metal bugs. All right, Well, you know what about the alligators. It's a small part. Alligators a small price to pay for paradise.

00:02:59
Speaker 2: You know.

00:03:00
Speaker 1: I hung out with jets Kee Brian, remember him, I do remember.

00:03:04
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's been He's big a snowbird.

00:03:07
Speaker 1: Snowbird for those of you that don't live in the northeast of the Southeast, is when you uh, people that fly south for the winter and live there in the winter and then come.

00:03:16
Speaker 2: Back around the summertime.

00:03:17
Speaker 1: So he's coming back north pretty soon to open up his jetskey business on the Hudson River. Yeah, that's kind of important. Yeah, although if he if he had his jet ski business down south, it be year.

00:03:28
Speaker 2: Round, it would be.

00:03:30
Speaker 1: And the thing is, the competition down there is a lot, a lot stiffer.

00:03:33
Speaker 2: If you know what I'm saying.

00:03:34
Speaker 1: Oh, Okay, I got a question for you. God, I didn't even know her. I didn't even know her. This is the God's honest truth story. It happened today. So right where, uh, right where the parkway that I take meets Route seven, which is the medium length, the medium busy road that drives into Jersey City. He's not on the corner of Happy and Healthy. Yes, right there there was a So it was a trailer, not like a trailer, like like a trailer home, like a metal you know those metal v's you put behind like to carry a boat. It like triangle shaped. Yeah, right, there was one of those, just sitting on the side of the road on the shoulder, but like off the shoulder, on the dirt by the rail, all right, and thank you shoulder. And then right next to it, right next to it. I swear to god, was a was a It's not a jet ski. It's a wave runner. We always call wave runners jet skis, but jet skis accompanied it's the one with the handles come up. A wave runner is the one you sit down on right and the handles don't go up. It's a wave runner. It is right, there's a wave runner sitting on the side of the road. There must have been an accident and maybe it flew off the back of the truck and they're coming back for it. Maybe I don't know. So my question is if you had a flatbed truck or a pickup truck or a van and you're driving down the road and there's a wave runner sitting there. Do you and your boy pick it up and put it on the truck and go off with it and leave? I mean, if you're from Brooklyn, you do that. Yes, I thought about that. I'm like, it's not mine. But is it stealing if it's laying on the side of the road. There was no sign on it that said I'll be right back now. It wouldn't fit in my Dodge charger. But I did think about, Wow, if I had a big SUV or something, not that I could lift it in myself. But like, what would you what would you do? Uh? What would you do? All right?

00:05:24
Speaker 2: City high?

00:05:25
Speaker 1: City high? Thank you? Yeah, I mean listen, you're gonna get caught, you know, So, I mean the obvious thing. But is it a crime if it's laying on the side of the road, Like, if it's a car on the side of the road, you're like, oh, that's somebody's car. But if it's a jet ski on the side of the road, what's the rule. Like if it was a bicycle, is that stealing? What if it's a skateboard. Is that stealing?

00:05:49
Speaker 3: Like?

00:05:49
Speaker 1: Where is the level of theft? Where do you draw the line on it was laying there on the side of the road. I'm gonna I'm gonna ask Google what I think If you did get caught with it, you could always make the claim that it was left there and you had no clue, or or you were hauling it to the nearest police precinct to turn it in.

00:06:05
Speaker 2: You know you could make that claim. I don't know. So what did you do?

00:06:10
Speaker 1: Point to AI. It says yes. Taking a wave runner or jet ski from the side of the road, even if unattended and appearing abandoned, is generally considered stealing it looks or wait wait wait wait? Or theft by finding? Have you heard of that? Theft by finding?

00:06:24
Speaker 2: By finding?

00:06:25
Speaker 4: Was it?

00:06:25
Speaker 1: Property left in public like a boat or a trailer usually belongs to someone who may be returning, and you must make a good faith effort to find the owner.

00:06:34
Speaker 3: Right.

00:06:34
Speaker 1: I thought possession was nine tenths of the law. I subscribe to the AI, you know, because AI is the future police of America.

00:06:42
Speaker 2: Let's face it, they're taken over.

00:06:44
Speaker 1: So theft by finding if you find something and do not make reasonable attempt to locate owner, you can be charged with theft. The only legal way to claim it is to report it to the police, who can take it into custody. If the owner does not claim it, you may be able to gain legal ownership later. Okay, fine, all right, but you have to you're under arrest. Yeah, So Delry Beach was cool. Was cool, hung up with a lot of friends, ate a lot of food. I mean, the weather really did suck for the first few days of the week. I felt like everyone was wishing, wishing awful weather upon me, because you know, I went down there, uh and I was yeah, and then and then I like a bonehead. On Friday, it was overcast but warm, and a bunch of us were sitting up at the rooftop pool. Well, of course, you look at this face, David Brody. This is the face of a man who underestimated the overcast sky and I didn't put some block on my burnt to a crisp. This is like like life one on one. You always supposed to put sun block on because the rays Tom remember to where suns. I was at a hotel called the Ray. I mean, duh. The sitting at a hotel rooftop, and and uh it hurt for a couple of days. But and now I'm peeling, as you could see because anyone who follows you on social media would have seen the picture you put up on the plane of your face burnt red as a tomato. So what should I do? Should I just moist your eyes? Exfoliate like? I don't know? I would get I would get I saw this online. Get a brown paper bag. And what you want to do is you want to cut holes of your eyes and then put it over your head, right, prove your head and then take lions, lion's maids, mushrooms or whatever. Right, well, cort acets, yes, so you don't forget to put a sunscreen on next time? Well, your memory pills. You didn't remember to put sunscreen. I got a story for the Ages, so fifteen. So so del Ray's a very laid back area. But then you know, at one point, at one discutta one night when you do the douchebag thing. Oh you'd read to the BMW. No, I did the so as me, jet Ski, Brian and Joe Loopo, and we decided we were gonna go to this fancy asque restaurant up in Palm Beach. There's a restaurant there called Tuto Mare and it's owned by Donna Karen, you know, the famous fashion designer, Donna Karen. So we get there and by the way, this restaurant, you know who's in there. Derek Cheeter was in there, Michael Jordan was in there when you were there. Yeah, and Bethany Frankel. We didn't say hello. No, we didn't even approach. Yeah, Bethany, she doesn't. Which one of these people don't belong here? Uh yeah, Bethany Frankel, Fiery Jones doesn't. Yeah, I would be the one I don't belong here. So we were now we didn't want to valet the car because Brian is he's so hardheaded about parking his own car. He's afraid they're gonna they're gonna wreck his rims. So we're pulling up and we see right in front of the place in the parking lot, someone's getting out. So he waits nicely behind the person, and all of a sudden, as soon as the person leaves, they do the accidental cock block of the spot, and somebody comes from the other direction and pulls right in a tesla zoomed right in, and of course they can't let that go. Joe Loopo gets out of the car and he goes, yo, Joe Loopo. He's like, yo, bro, excuse me. It was a woman in the car that we were just about to take that spot. And then she goes, well, I was here first, and he goes, no, we were here first, and it was like the whole you know, typical parking lot feud. Well she's like, ah, well, you know whatever, Like he wouldn't let her take the Spotliny parking lot feud my favorite game show. Yeah, So she in a huff, gets back in her car, fucking fucking angry as hell, pulls back out and zooms zooms away. We zoom in to the spot. We later come to find out while we're in the restaurant that that was Donna Karen's granddaughter. We were fighting Donna Karen's granddaughter for at spot, and that her grand grandmother kind of I don't know owns the place, but okay, then she should have a reserved spot. She should have. But anyway, it was it was you know, these are the kinds of things that happened. That was my my bougie ass moment. No no, no, no, no, tell us slices your boogie as moment at the gym, your gym.

00:11:37
Speaker 2: Oh should we.

00:11:39
Speaker 1: Do that now? No? No, we can just I mean just I'll just mention it all right. You know what when we here comes that this is called the cliffhanger. We have more news about the gym, a boogie moment with Kary Jones.

00:11:51
Speaker 2: After this.

00:11:53
Speaker 1: We will be right back. And now it's time for a bougie minute with Scary Joan. I think you should make on this is this is this is a boogie bonus, the bougie bonus, bougie bonus time. Turns out it's scary hanging with famous than anyone here. So the gym that I go to now has a lot you know. You know that Jack Harlow works out there, and you know that I told you? Did I tell you that Jake Gyllenhall works out there. We also talked tell the keep the podcasters the slices up with that. Sebastian Stan and Peter Pascal and Emma Marvel Universe, Emma Stone now joining now joining a member of them, another member of the Marvel Universe.

00:12:45
Speaker 2: Go ahead, Bradley Cooper.

00:12:48
Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't know. Bradley Cooper is in the Marvel universe. He's the voice of Rocket Raccoon from the Guardians of the Gallay. Anyways, all these people joining this gym, you know at some point they're gonna kick me out.

00:12:58
Speaker 2: They're gonna you.

00:12:59
Speaker 1: Can you can't come here. It doesn't belong here. And by the way, when you said I don't belong here before, I should have said okay, radiohead, but I didn't. But that's not the name of the song. But okay, but it's still a line in the song. It couldn't get a word. Why do we have to wait four minutes of a commercial break to tell them that whatever it was bothering me? So slice is always wonder do you guys like actually hang out? You always talk about your own paths. It's like, you know, like when the Beatles, like they went their own ways towards the end and then they all had their own little songs and they and they just kind of put together on an album. Some people accuse the Brooklyn Boys of never ever having any camaraderie or hanging out or you do your thing, I do my thing, and we bring our experiences to the podcast. You can you can go your own way. Thank you, Fleetwood. Mac Brody and I had lunch today. Yes, it was a great catch and and and not separately, we had lunch together. I gave him a steak lunch. So I'm want to tell you did not No, you did not. I bought. I brought Brody lunch. Okay, let's let's start at the beginning. Let's start to very begin, a very good place to start. When do you, yeah, when are you coming over to get my comic books and my Mad magazines? You can sell them on eBay for me? Yeah? Because me like, uh, sidebar my, I moved into the new house as you could see, and Brody saw and his boxes everywhere and it's still not in the storage. And I want to get rid of my Mad magazines and my comic books. Who better a person with more time on his hands than God to do? That's not true? Uh to sell them is the eBay king, the king of Facebook market place. David Brody. Oh, maybe I should make an ai image of me as God healing people. No, I'm not gonna do that. Okay, So scary says, when are you taking these magazines? So I thought to myself, when are you going to invite me to your apartment? And then oh, when I'm there, maybe I'll take them. And then I said to him, you know what, I was planning on maybe going to lunch tomorrow. This was last night, but none of my uh my local friends have are available tomorrow. Nobody has signed up. I've got, I've got, i've got a dinner appointment with a buddy on on Wednesday night, but no takers from my Tuesday afternoon availability. So Scary says, oh, well, I guess you and I could have lunch. I said, yes, we could. So he says, why don't you come here and and get the magazines and we'll have lunch. I said, no, no, we're gonna have lunch, and if I take the magazines that'll be a nice bonus. I don't like it being phrased like, oh, you'll come get the magazines for me as a favor and then we're okay. So so I I find a spot right by his new apartment, right very nice area and with a lot of parking. Was very excited, and I go into the lobby and these two very nice women are working in the lobby now in Scary's old building. Was like, oh he see scary apartment. Blood. They're like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, Anthony, Yeah, go right up this building. Uh, who are gonna see?

00:15:53
Speaker 2: I got?

00:15:53
Speaker 1: I said, scary apartment blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. And they said, oh yeah. Now I would have thought Scary had put me on the guest list. So she'd look, yep, he's expecting you. Oh no, because I have to what one second, one second she's on the phone with somebody else. Yeah, so she's talking to me, talking and talking to me protectors and then so security guard is so door woman number by the way, very attractive door women at the building.

00:16:15
Speaker 2: Uh.

00:16:16
Speaker 1: Door woman number two says, she'll be right with you. I go, all right, can I just go up? No, we have to call up to the apartment. I go, not on the guest list. No, you need to put you on a guest list. I'm like, uh, typical. So I show her the text message from you because but it doesn't have your real name, so they don't know who you are. I have your radio name in my phone, right, So she goes, I got to call him. So she calls them, and he says your guest is here. Uh huh. What's your name, sir, I said, it's David. He knows I'm coming. Uh Is it David here? Uh huh uh huh uh oh, yeah, I have a package for you.

00:16:45
Speaker 2: Uh huh.

00:16:46
Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh and you wanted that thing fixed? Huh huh yeah. And she starts like going on the whole conversation. I go, can I go up? She's like one second and she's talking to him, talking to him. Finally she goes, she hangs up with him, and he goes, oh, yeah, you can go go to the elevator. Bank around. It took me like five minutes to get through this. I thought they were going to make me go through a metal detector and pat me down. That's some high class security he got at this building. This is a very uh yeah.

00:17:12
Speaker 2: It's a well protected building. But anyway, I go up.

00:17:15
Speaker 1: Okayne, I want your opinions of my My area has an elevator that talks. He's got a talking elevator. It's not my elevator. It belongs to the building.

00:17:25
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:17:26
Speaker 1: Two three, fantastic. Uh So I get off on the floor that he lives on and he's not out in the hall waiting for me. I thought, for sure, he's got this long ass hallway. It's got like hotel arrows, like those ten apartments to the right, those ten apartments. Had to figure out his apartment. So I finally he's on the He's on the like all the way down the hall right and and so he finally comes out in the hall right, walk in the apartment. He goes, this is my apartment. Here, I'll give you the tour. First thing I see, he goes, this is my bathroom number three. And he stands in the doorway and he says, what do you think of his bathroom? Look at this a nice bathroom, right, it's I got to move some things wrong and buy some things. He's in the doorway. I go, scary, I can't see the bathroom. You're standing in the doorway. I can't see the bathroom. So he shows me the bathroom. I go, is this the bathroom of the dirty toilet seat? I'm not using it? And what is scary? Say no, no, I got a new toilet seat.

00:18:17
Speaker 2: I changed it.

00:18:18
Speaker 1: I don't know if I can trust him on the toilet seat, because how do I know it's a new toilet seat. He never mentioned on the podcast. I didn't mention it on the podcast because we've been away for a couple of weeks, a lot of things have happened.

00:18:29
Speaker 2: But anyway, I've changed it.

00:18:30
Speaker 1: So while you were in Florida, okay, change the doors seat, very nice bathroom. Then we walk a few doors down, a few steps down the hall and there's a few doors down, three doors down, two doors down. He opens the doors and he says, and uh, here are your boshes for those of you who aren't rich. What he meant to say was stop here, here are my washer and dryer, but instead he referred to them by their brand name because it's a boogie ass bosh bosc. But Bosh's in bougie, is it? Yes? It is? It's not yes, yeah, you buy a ge, a Whirlpool, a Samsung. I didn't boss all this shit. It was he came with the place, what do you want me to do? All the more all the more boozy. So rather than just say here's my washer and dryer, and I'm not really sure why that's plugged the tour. Why do I care about his washer and dryer? But he has to you know why, we don't have to care because they're bosh. That's why. That's if they were If he opened it up they were ge he'd be like, oh, here the gees. You would never say that, Okay, admit that, you would never say here. Well, can we just fast forward? What did you think of my place? I mean it's not done yet. I mean we're about seventy five percent there. Yeah, what do you think? The second bedroom that's scary for us was the Red Room of Death. Very nice, the Red Room paint where I am right now, where we almost did a podcast in person this afternoon, but there was really nowhere for you to sit. So there's still boxing's long. That's not done yet. That's correct, and the couch isn't installed. Although we got to talk about what tall Darren did because I don't like that, we're gonna talk about that. The Red Room of Death. He's got the silver cabinet, very pretty. He's got the TV on the wrong wall. I don't know why, but he's got a view. The room when you walk in as a view of the part of Manhattan between the Empire State Building and the World Trade Center. So it's sort of like the teens, the teen streets somewhere in there. The lower like mid Minute, like lower mid Manhattan. But when you sit in his studio chair where he is right now, you can look up and see the Empire State Building. So very impressive, very nice view in that room. Now, the rest of the apartment, the dining room and the kitchen open area, well, it's hold on. It is a it is a dining room, living room, kitchen combo. It's one giant room. You make it sound like I got all the space. I don't. No, No, it's an open floor plan. It's very nice. He's got a brown couch which doesn't look that much brown red. It's brown's Siena. It's dark red, Berns Siena. Okay, thanks burnt Sienna in her hair, Thanks Bernice ladies. Okay, so the couch looks a lot like his old chocolate couch. But let's say it's red velvet chocolate, and I kid you not, it's still hard as fuck. No, it's it is not a comfortable couch. Robin sat on it last week this weekend. She just, oh my god, it's definitely softer than your than your old catch. So imagine laying on a bed of nails and then laying on a bed of rocks. You'd be like, oh, this is more comfortable. That's what it is. It's a step up from unbelievably hurtful, terrible. So I think I think I got a bruise when I sat down on the couch. My ass is bruised.

00:21:36
Speaker 2: You're awful.

00:21:37
Speaker 1: Otherwise, listen, you hide an interior decorator. She she earned her money because everything is impeccably matched together. The vertical lines in the lamp shade matched the vertical lines on the night table drawers. I mean there's there's at tension to detail.

00:21:56
Speaker 3: Uh.

00:21:56
Speaker 1: And I will say Scary's earth tone of dirty white in his bedroom.

00:22:01
Speaker 2: Talk about the room.

00:22:03
Speaker 1: The room, Okay, all of his furniture is off white, and it looks much better than the white bedroom he had in his old place, because now the bed is like a cream color and a brown added some earth tones into it. It's not all white everything. It's I got my room the paint of sand.

00:22:21
Speaker 2: We did sand.

00:22:23
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, so I will tell you it's it's not a lot of color, but it looks better than all like the than the than the mental institution room. All the colors, all.

00:22:32
Speaker 2: The colors in the living room and in this this second room here.

00:22:35
Speaker 1: So now if you walk into his walking closet, if you've ever seen the movie Sleeping with the Enemy, where Julia Roberts is Julia Roberts right where her husband organizes everything exactly in the cat in the kitchen, cabinets, and all the clothing is met, that's scary. It's always been this way. His hangers are a quarter inch. I think he measures them. His pants are perfectly hung. Unlike him. His shirts are in shade order. His shirts are in shade order. He's got thirty seven hundred short sleeve shirts, pat in short sleeve shirts and stop. He's got he's got them sectioned by the quarter of the year. He's able to wear them. So I was like, oh, this is a nice shirt Wednesday. It looks like my shirt. He goes, that's second quarter scary. Can't wear that yet. So he's got it is second quarter. But the thing is, I haven't I'm not second quarter scary yet, because it may take the third quarter for me to get.

00:23:28
Speaker 2: Second quarter, or fourth quarter to get second made.

00:23:31
Speaker 1: To reorganize his shirts because first quarter, the first quarter shorts shirts are a little bigger. Okay, we can move on. We can move on.

00:23:39
Speaker 2: This is getting this part.

00:23:40
Speaker 1: I was gonna take pictures. No, no, So then Scary showed me the amenities. Uh, he's got an outdoor. He's got so he's got this giant Wait, this isn't mean this is a common area. It's not that common. There's nothing common about this area. He's got pool tables and pink I go. I saw a wooden ping pong table with a wooden net. I've never seen that, you know what. Stop the outdoor Oh, the outdoor deck was amazing. Outdoor deck was amazing, with chairs and fire pits and trees, amazing with the view of the city. We went to look at the pool. The big question is, let's go look at the indoor pool that Scary doesn't want to get into. That was the one thing. Doors were locked, so I had to peek through the crack between the doors, and from what I could see, it looks very pretty. And it looked so pretty through the crack in the door. I said, Scary, from what I can see, you've got to get in this pool. It's gorgeous. So are you gonna get in that pool because it's gorgeous?

00:24:35
Speaker 2: Probably not, it's indoors.

00:24:39
Speaker 1: One thing I did get to see the glass doors that's Scary installed on bathroom number two. They are very nice. But behind those glass doors, you know those things you put in the corner of a bath tub or shower caddy. Yeah, it's a shower caddy and it fits between the tub and the dealing. You have to like put it in the corner. It's like a stick. Well yeah, yeah, it's kind of on a spring, you know, and it pops up. Yeah.

00:25:06
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's pretty common. Yeah.

00:25:09
Speaker 1: Right, So I said, said Scary, how much did you pay the guy to install that? And to my surprise, Scary says, I installed that myself. I'll have you know. So Scarry didn't stall the shower caddy. He didn't hire a guy to do it. Some assembly required, but it was okay, it was this assembly was was on my level. Now, when we come back, I wanted to talk about arm rested arm rest etiquette okay on the Wi Fi it's and something that tall Darren did when he was here that has Brody incensed.

00:25:46
Speaker 2: All right, Can we talk about flying?

00:25:54
Speaker 1: No?

00:25:55
Speaker 2: Sure.

00:25:55
Speaker 1: So when I was on my flight back, I booked my I booked my seat nice and early, and I noticed that the middle seat was empty. The middle seats are always empty then the last ones to go. So I took a window. There was somebody in the aisle and I'm like, I'm gonna grab I'm gonna grab the the window seat. And the middle seat was open up until probably maybe six hours before my flight, because I kept checking back.

00:26:21
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, maybe.

00:26:22
Speaker 1: I'll you know, sometimes you get lucky and you get that that middle seat open, and then this way, you know, the person in the aisle in the person of the window high five each other, like yeah, we got extra space. We with lift that arm rest now we can ah. Well, turns out it was a full flight. Somebody took the spot at the last minute, which leads me to believe that lazy Larry decided to to to sit in that seat he was he ended up there. There was a guy that ended up in the middle seat. So you know, the guy was like already late to the party with everything. I was jockeying for position with I'm sitting near at the window and he is now in my space into a well over into into my arm rest, my left arm rest. Oh no, but and then so I think that if you have a middle seat, you got a whole lot of balls to try and extend o your little roomoy by trying to steal a steal the arm rest and be kind of bleed over into the next seat. He did that with both armrests. See, some would say that, poor, poor middle person, poor middle seat person, you get both armrests because you're sitting in the middle and the guy, the person in the aisle gets the left arm rest on their side and nothing else, and the person at the window gets the right arm rest and nothing else.

00:27:44
Speaker 2: Well, I'm calling bullshit on that.

00:27:46
Speaker 1: I'm calling you know what, maybe you should prepare better next time and this is your punishment for booking late or last or ending up in the middle seat. Oh no, Well, why does window guy get both armrests because window guy usually planned for it and usually within arm window guy in this case, and you know what, but why do you get you get the window? Why do you get also two armrests.

00:28:10
Speaker 2: Well, someone's got to get two arm rests.

00:28:13
Speaker 1: Yeah, the guy without the window or the aisle. No, the aisle guy gets the left arm rest right, and he's the aisle and he has the extra leg room because they can stick his leg out, and he should get the right arm rest. Why because he booked the aisle left and right the left armrest. They the aisle seat gets, the aisle seat gets both armrests, and the and the and the window seat gets both armrests, and the medley gets no arm h that's right.

00:28:38
Speaker 2: Nothing.

00:28:39
Speaker 1: They gotta sit, bitch, No, they gotta you know, drown in their sorrow. And you know what from me, one hundred percent, No, that's that's terrible. Why is it terrible that? Look? Look, I have been known as the window guy to Sometimes I want like I want, I want a third of the arm rest. I feel like a third of the left arm rest. If I'm on the right window, I think I should be able to at least put my elbow there, not the arm just like a little ledge, so you get.

00:29:03
Speaker 2: A little edge, a little something something.

00:29:05
Speaker 1: I want. I want the back, like by the chair, the very back of the armrest. Give me a third of that, Just give me a corner. It's all right. But if you're someone if you're like putting your whole if you put your elbow at the very beginning of the armrest, like straight down and cover the whole armrest, that's a douche move. Because you should at least be doing like elbow elbows out right so that your hands are in your ear, like above your your zipper. Okay, all right, yeah, elbows out like you're doing the duck like a chicken. This way, your elbows are on the armrest, the whole arm rest. If you're like holding off for deal life with your arms on the entire armrest, that that's a no go for me. That's a no for me. Dog. But you don't get double arm rest. You can have an arm rest and a nub. It was so but this guy was so much. Not only did he take my arm rest, he was so far into my space. The only place I could put my left arm was forward on the tray table. I had the tray table down the the time I had to rest my shit on the trade table. It was dude, I was so angry and I'm like, what is this freaking right doing? And you know, I was so pissed. I was gonna say, part of the plane were you in, Like the back? I was the back of the plane, like touring happened? I mean, had that happen. That's not the way Scary Jones normally fly the plane. I know, but did you not booking time. No, it was Sunday, Sunday coming No, No, it was Sunday coming back from vacation. Everybody was coming back from vacation. It was the end of passover. It was the end of Easter break for families and kids. Dude, was this was not good? It was anyway, it was a full flight. And you know the other thing that happened, And if we spoke about it on the podcast where they think, they call it the miracle, the miracle flight, the miracle the wheelchair wheelchairs. Yeah, there was seven eight wheelchairs lined up, so everybody was plopped in the wheelchair and they all get to board first, right, because wheelchair people get to board first, So they all go rolling in and then when the plane lands, the wheelchair people wait till the very end. Well, guess what, All of a sudden, they're all cured. They're all cured, they can walk. They all walk off the plane. Nobody nobody needs a wheel chair. Everyone needs a wheelchair going on. Nobody needs a wheelchair coming off in Newark zero. So there's the bullshit on that one. Everybody's trying to get ahead. I'm just saying, yeah, yeah, why I'm finding the guy at the weird Al Yankovic meet and greet where the guy had the broken leg, and uh, he's in a wheelchair, so they wheeled him to the front of the line. Yeah, like, what is your leg being in a cast I have to do what You're going to the front of the You're like, you're sitting. You already sitting. You're already in his seat. I'm standing here in the heat at a summer constant outdoors waiting to meet we at al and you're in a wheelchair getting pushed because you broke your leg. You get to cut the line. I've talked about this before. If you're an old person in a wheelchair, yeah, I have nothing but respect. Yeah, but you don't need to go on first. Yeah, Soka, go You're already sitting down. You're already sitting. What's your hurry to go sit more?

00:32:05
Speaker 2: Oh?

00:32:06
Speaker 1: God? So okay, So I told you something about tall Darrek. I remember told Darren slept over my place. I didn't have my second bed yet, so he had to ship an air mattress to my house so he couldn't sleep on the floor. Basically blow up a door mattress, right, So when I was there, I'm like, oh, where's the air mattress? That tall Darren used? Where are you keeping that? It's scary? Is like, I have no place for anyone to stay. I don't have a couch yet. I was like, what about the air mattress? And it scary? Tells me, God, scary? What'd you tell me?

00:32:35
Speaker 2: Oh? He returned it to Target.

00:32:38
Speaker 1: How many nights did he sleep on it? Four? Four nights?

00:32:43
Speaker 2: Four nights?

00:32:44
Speaker 1: Yep, But well you don't do that you of all people, Nope, get out of me, of all people, I'm honest.

00:32:53
Speaker 2: Get out.

00:32:55
Speaker 1: I'm an honest person. I'm not going to use a Look if you use it one night and it's uncomfortable or it's not according to like, it's not what the description says. Absolutely, he slept on it temporarily after four ninety's like, I don't want this thing anymore.

00:33:08
Speaker 2: And he returned it. Listen for sleeps. There's not a lot of sleeps.

00:33:15
Speaker 1: He folded it up, He deflated it, folded up, put it in the box, nice and neat here you go, Target, give him my money back? And did he have sheets on it every night? Yes? So it wasn't like he was touching his skin, was touching the actual you know, fabric of the of the air mattress. Well, I will say, though, what people do? Oh yeah, people buy shit all the time. They buy fancy clothes, they hide the tags this is like a thing, and buy a retagger or they you know, they leave the tags in the shoes. They it's almost like rent the runway. But you know, because everyone will take everything back. It's almost like every store policy. So people go out to a fancy affair after buying an expensive outfit, they use it and then they return it. I mean, who doesn't do that for New Year's Eve? I mean I mean women, some women are all take A lot of stores will not take uh uh okay, Randuran, right, is that notorious?

00:34:21
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're right, you got it. I'm not stopping you.

00:34:22
Speaker 1: Okay, you me, you give me a look. A lot of stores, if they like promt season, they'll put a deadline, like if you own the dress more than two days, they won't take it back with whatever, like a week.

00:34:35
Speaker 2: Well that they all do that.

00:34:37
Speaker 1: But but in everyday life, I've learned that all these stores, most of them take shit back. Okay, if you were in Target, right and you buy an inflatable mattress for yourself. You need an inflatable mattress. You move it into the apartment you don't have a bed. And they said to you, mister Jones, you want to let you know you're paying full price for this, but some strange guys slept on it for four nights. You go with that, Yeah, I find it. Listen when they return it, A lot of stuff doesn't. That doesn't go back. It doesn't go back on the shelf. It goes not, Yes, it does. So I'm asking you a question. If they said, mister Jones, you're going to pay full price for this, just want to let you know some tall, strange guy slept on it for four nights, No.

00:35:16
Speaker 2: I would not. I would say, give me an discount on it.

00:35:19
Speaker 1: Right. Therefore, Paul Darren should not be sleeping on a bed for four nights. He didn't buy it, and he didn't like it. He bought it specifically to return it four days later. That's stealing. That's theft of service. Just like that's like that's like seeing you know what that is. That's a finding theft, theft of finding no found it and target And the only thing is do you really think you might as well take the jets the wave Runner.

00:35:43
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:35:44
Speaker 1: Listen, everyone, anyone who's worked in retail that sliced supporting for duty slices, that have worked in retail, you know that you've worked for a store that will take anything back at any point and without even his eggs, you could. You can turn something to Old Naghs. But like five years later, I don't like it anymore, and then they don't do that anymore. They don't do that anymore. They used to call it cleaning out your closets. When I worked for Old Navy, they called the people were like, oh I I because you knew, Like oh that was from like I worked there in nineteen ninety five. Like oh that's a nineteen ninety one T shirt. They're like, yeah, I don't need this shirt. They would take it back. They don't do that anymore. There's like a certain amount of days now you can't bring it back. After that, they won't take it back. Can't do it, can't do it. I have a friend who buys stuff from best Buy and then like like his computer, if his computer stops working, he just buys the same computer, returns the broken one and goes that doesn't work. That's that's stealing. Now look, I'm not saying I'm judging anybody. I'm just pointing out the fact it is stealing. It's a theft of service. But for Darren to buy a buy a bed, knew he was going to sleep on it. Look, we don't know if he sweated through the sheet, he could have could have peed the bed. Oh, I don't know what he did. What the hell was he six? Sometimes pee the bed, I know, but he could have come home drunk. And listen, you're gonna tell me the toilet Brian never peed in the bed. That guy falls asleep in peace everywhere. You tell me toilet Brian doesn't know he falls asleep on toilets. He pee's in the toilet. That's the whole point. That's why he's toilet Brian, because if he's gonna pae is, he's gonna go right in the toilet. Okay, By the way, I think I'm inviting a problem by getting this bed sofa bed in here. I'm gonna have more visits from so I started thinking about it. I have about four or five friends, like legitimate friends, who've crashed on my couch before.

00:37:38
Speaker 2: In my old place.

00:37:39
Speaker 1: That are now gonna be so eager to jump in my bed here. Imagine they crashed on that awful heart as a rock couch. Now they're gonna have a nice pull out bed with a view of Manhattan out the window. Dude, I'm gonna bring my dogs over and come over myself one night. Get out of the house. Give give everybody a break. I'm gonna come over, bring the dogs. Now. I did buy you much, by the way, I did buy your lunch. He did.

00:38:03
Speaker 2: Lunch.

00:38:04
Speaker 1: Well, that's because I did some maintenance and scaries apartment. So in his living room he's got this FiOS router. It's a it's a rectangle shaped tall router. It's probably about fifteen sixteen inches high, right, but it's it's sitting next to his this entertainment unit thing under his TV. So when you walk in the house, it's the first thing you see straight ahead next to this this piece. So he's like, brig, what do I do with that? Can I Can I put it? Can I put it in a closet? Can I move it? It's an eyesore? What can I do with it? I said, Well, you can put it the other side by the window. Nope, it's got to be in the middle of the house. So I go, I got it. I take it, and I shove it under the center of this piece of furniture. It fits perfectly. He's like, what are you doing? I go, it's gone, can't see it anymore. He's like, oh no, But the thing is, I didn't know that the router. I thought the router has to be exposed out in the open. I didn't know you could just shove it on a war behind a freaking cabinet and it's still gonna.

00:39:02
Speaker 2: Proka on its side.

00:39:04
Speaker 1: Let me ask you a question. If it goes around the wall into your bedroom, you think it can't go up from the floor. It's going through your wall. I just feel like it needs to emanate. I don't know it it needs to be standing standing up.

00:39:18
Speaker 2: I don't know.

00:39:20
Speaker 1: And how about how about not Scary? I don't know if you're gonna do this because it's a great idea. Well you're not gonna do it because it's my idea and I'm pointing it out on the podcast. So Scary in his in his red room, he's in He's got this alcove where he's gonna say that's where he's put in the bed. So the wall it's about a I don't know about twelve foot wall. It goes in a little bit so that the wall juts out a little more so that you've got a little space in there. You guys are picturing it right the wall. If you took the wall and shoved it back a few feet, that's the way it looks. So the room is bigger in that spot. So Scary says, I'm gonna put a bookcase along the wall. And I go that, what are you talking about. You're gonna block the bathroom. You're making the end the walkway to your bathroom small. Well, that's toy places. I can put a bookcase. I said, oh no, no. Look at the side of that wall. You've got about three and a half feet next to the bed. It's three feet wide. You can't put anything there. Put a tall, thin bookcase. He's got Scary, he's got high ceilings. I go, put all the books at the top you don't read that are there for show mill Word's all of them. And then you got your bookcase right there. It's dead space. He's like, that's a very good idea. So I could be an interior decorator, and I'm straight she loved that idea. You love the idea.

00:40:28
Speaker 2: I love the idea. I love the idea.

00:40:30
Speaker 1: I'm gonna ask Lorena the interior designer, if she loves the idea, and we'll compare it to you love the idea? No, you love it? Yeah, but sometimes, but sometimes she's got a vision. She's talked me out of things before, and I'm now glad she did. Okay, that's why I have got here. You tell me why how it makes more sense to narrow the hallway to the bathroom by putting a bookcase where you can just put it in that little against the wall.

00:40:52
Speaker 2: People can't see the visual. It's okay, this is boring, you know.

00:40:56
Speaker 1: I don't know. I got I got more. I gotta worry about buying now a sheepskin rug for Robin's side of the bed. So there's sheepskin condoms. I'm like, GeTe, there's a little bit, little bit, little little tiny little walkway when from the other side of the bed. And I'm like, I told, I told the interior I told Lorena the interior design I like, I'm like, all right, I'm done.

00:41:26
Speaker 2: I'm like.

00:41:28
Speaker 1: The carpet on my side. The little rugged area rug on my side of the bed is fine, it fits there.

00:41:34
Speaker 2: We're great.

00:41:35
Speaker 1: She goes, oh, no, you need you need a sheepskin rug for your girlfriend. And I'm like, no, I don't. What the fuck do I need sheepskin rug put there for? It's It's okay, there's not enough. There's not enough room for a rug. It's almost like you need like a thin runner, Like that's how little space there is between the bed and the wall. And she's like, oh, but it would be excuse me, choke. She's spending your money left and right, she's spending my money. They don't have a care in the world. And I'm like, how much is sheepskin? And I'm looking up online. I'm like, what the fuck? Okay, So speaking of things that you don't need, what else? Let me ask you a questions, like, God, if you if you had to guess how many nights a week? Because you hear him he's ordering from grub hoob door Dash, poats mates, He's always got food flying in from all over the area. How many nights a week do you think scary cooks slices? Put a number in your head? Right, now many nights a week. Now, keep in mind factor in the food has delivered all the time, and factor in all the rooftop bars he's going to and ordering for the table. And you've seen his Instagram, he's out every night. Now if you figure the factor all that in, if you had a knife set on Scary's island, right the big island in the middle of his his giant room, open floor plan, there's a block of knives. If you had to guess how many knives were in that block, you'd say based on how many knights a week he cooks, would you say one knife, two knives or three knives? Think about it, dude, ude, dude, okay, all right, stop it, okay, hold on. There were sixteen knives, all right. Six of them were steak knives. Okay, I got steak knives. I need steak knives. You never know, listen as I get, as I get older, doing well carving knife butcher's knives. He's got like seven carving knives. What are you doing when a sixteen head knife? Are basing this on Scary Jones that you knew and loved and are you know growing up? But like I have to prepare for my second half of my life. Who knows what it's gonna be? Who knows? I mean, yes, you might. You might teach Lorraina how to cook your cleaning.

00:43:51
Speaker 2: Like no Estella was the clean Ladies.

00:43:54
Speaker 1: Tella. Sorry, I always listen. I'm gonna it's time for me to start cooking a little bit more. I'm gonna to start learning. Hate when you confuse the housekeeper with the interior decorator, I apologize, my bad. You make me sound so much worse than I am. I really am not this dude, this bougie, I'm not. I need help. I'm a single guy. I don't have I don't have like a family around me. I don't have the time to do any of this stuff. I am a run. Why do you have sixteen knives?

00:44:22
Speaker 2: Okay?

00:44:22
Speaker 1: I got sixteen okay, but different different things, dude. One is a butcher's knife. One of them is a steak knife. One of them is a steak to cut steak, a carving one's a carving knife. One's a serrated knife for the Italian bread. One of them is a pairing knife to pair. One of them is a pair of scissors. A pair of scissors in there, Okay, it's take eleven left.

00:44:56
Speaker 2: Wow, you something else man?

00:44:59
Speaker 1: You really are Maybe you're the You're a cave man and everyone else and I'm normal and everybody else. I have. I have a block of about six knives and I use them all because because it's a cooking situation. Eventually, eventually I will cook. Eventually I will start cooking more and more. I don't know this is Is this my forever home?

00:45:21
Speaker 2: Who knows?

00:45:22
Speaker 1: I don't know. It may be based on how the process of getting it, I would think, yes, I mean, I'm gonna be here. They're gonna be here a while, right, at least until you don't have her job in radio anymore. Then you have to think about what you want to do. You wanna move to Florida or whatever. I'd like to be here for a minute, you know. So there you go. So I'm settling in and it's okay if I splurge on knives. And by the way, that's an old knife set I've had that. You know how old that knife set is? Twenty years knieve set. When she gave me the drillion have opened, Yes, they all did. Everything in here is ancient. There's nothing here that's new except for some of the furniture. You know. That's all. That's all really, all right? Can we talk about other things? I got a question for you, something that happened on this I haven't had a topic yet in like an hour. Okay, you're gonna say something, and then we got to take another break, all right, So let's take a break and I'll when we come back, I'll talk to you about I had an AI fight and I won.

00:46:18
Speaker 2: Of course you did.

00:46:19
Speaker 1: It's the boy podcast, all right. Scary. So I had to call Walmart because I bought a couple of met shirts from Walmart that I had shipped to me but they didn't fit. Hey, they were just they were not a good size. So I'm like, oh, I'll return to Walmart. So I got to return them and it says, oh, no, these come from Fanatics, the sports company that sells their stuff through. Yes, you have to return them through Fanatics. So I'm like that's bullshit. So it's like a click here and email Fanatics and they'll handle a return and send you a return label. Not a problem. They'll respond to you between twenty four and forty eight hours. So I email Fanatics and guess what, no response? Three days, four days, five days, email them again, no response, two three, four, five, six days, no response. So I'm like, fuck this. I bought them from Walmart. Walmart's going to fix this situation and the story I bought it from them. I don't care what they're selling. If I if I get buy something from Amazon, who handles the returns Amazon? And if Walmart wants my business? They're going to handle this for me and help me. This is bullshit. So I call Walmart and I got Hi, this is Walmart, your AI personal assistant. You can ask for a live representative, but I can help you with almost every problem you can. So I said, representative, I know you want to speak to a live representative. Presentative, I can help you. Yeah, so I go live representative. I know you want to speak to a live representative, but I can help you with my live representative. I know you want to speak to a live representation. So I said, bro, fuck yourself, I want a fucking live representative, you fucking AI piece of shit. You know what it said to me, live representative? Please?

00:48:03
Speaker 2: I love it.

00:48:05
Speaker 1: It wasn't until I cursed it out that it said, Okay, this guy's.

00:48:10
Speaker 2: Not playing that.

00:48:11
Speaker 1: Did it really didn't detect. It must have detected that you were getting angry. Yes, it must have detected when I said, go fuck yourself, I want a live representative. Got it, I've represented, Please hold and I got a live representative.

00:48:23
Speaker 2: Okay.

00:48:23
Speaker 1: And although it was someone whose name is not really Martha, they helped me and sent me a return label. So thank you Walmart for stepping up. We have fuck you fanatics. They wouldn't even respond to my emails. They wouldn't take the shirts back, so I sent them back and I'm waiting three to five business days for my fucking refund. But that's it. Something you gotta put your foot down with AI now. At lunch today, Scary and I we're talking about AI because we love husk dot I r l on on Instagram.

00:48:49
Speaker 2: Oh my god, this kid is amazing.

00:48:52
Speaker 1: We've played clips of him asking AI stuff and AI lies. And I told you guys on my birthday when I asked a chat GPT and I said why is today special? And it said it's special because today's the anniversary both of your parents dying in a car crash, which of course is not true. It was my birthday. My parents did not die in a car crash and like it made it up? Chat it lies. So I asked today, I said, if I give you a link to our podcast, can you listen to the podcast and tell me what kind of tool scary guy from his mother that he never opened? Yes, just send me the link and I'll say, okay, great. I send the link and I say what kind of tool? And it right, I'm gonna read the Let me read it back what it wrote, because so it was supposed to go back to because you provided the link, it was supposed to analyze the whole podcast and come back with an.

00:49:43
Speaker 2: Answer based on yes, okay, yeah, so it said.

00:49:47
Speaker 1: The pool scaries Mom bought him was one of those above ground backyard pools, the kind that comes folded up in a big box, usually with a metal frame in liner, meant to set up in the yard, and in true scary fashion, it never left the box. So it's basically a full summer sitting there, sealed in cardboard, waiting for a debut that's probably never coming, like a Broadway show that closed during rehearsals. It's almost like it just screenplay. It's all fiction. What the fuck? So what I do with anything? You didn't listen to the episode. You just made something up at random, and it said, yes, you're right to call that out. I didn't actually pull that detail from the episode, and I shouldn't have guessed. That's on me from what you're asking. You want the exact type of pool mentioned in the episode, not a generic sounds like a pool answer. I can go back and zero in on that moment and get you the real answer. Oh nice, Shive me a minute and I'll lock onto the exact line. But why are you precisely what?

00:50:39
Speaker 4: No?

00:50:40
Speaker 1: Wait, so I said, I said, tool with a T What kind of tool did his mother buy him? Not pool? Don't make shit up? So it wrote back, got it tool, not Pool, And yeah, no guessing, and he goes In that episode, the thing scary mentions is a dremal, one of those small handheld rotary tools. It's been shreading on opening the box like it's waiting for a home improvement project that never got cast. So I said, nope, yep, I'm striking out like a picture who refuses to read the scout. Oh he's making jokes along the way too, to try, you know. I love that. It also it makes the humor. It tries to be humorous when it just to kind of calm you down a little bit. But so then it says I don't have the exact tool locked in, and I don't want to keep guessing and waste your time. If you can give me even a rough time stamp or a hint about the moment, I'll zero in and get you the exact answer without making anything up. So I said, I thought you were going to be able to listen to the episode, like you said, you're right to expect that, and I gave you the wrong impression earlier. I can I can't actually play or listen to audio from that link directly, so I don't have a way to hear the episode unless there's a transcript or you give me a timestamp or a clip of the episode where he says that the truth comes. I said, if I give you a clip, that means I found it and I don't need your help. That's a good point. Sorry, I let you down. Yeah, always always apologetic, always lying, and always being a jokester. What good is it? Why does it lie like that? Why does it waste your time? Just say I can't do it from the beginning. It will not say I can't do it. Yep, I'll be right on that for you. I go, what's my favorite food? Oh, your favorite food is pickles? Exactly. Yeah, I guess listen, you might listen to this podcast three years from now here. We are in April fourteenth, twenty twenty six, and chat GBT can actually do all the things that we said that it couldn't do on this podcast episode. But as of this podcast episode right now in time, it's fucking stupid half the time. I mean, it might do basic math and science, right, but yeah, but yeah, it knows math and science, and it knows facts. It knows history facts, right. But if you ask it like carent events, it has to go look it up and then hopefully it gets it off a real website. And if you ask it to do things it can't do, it goes, yeah, I'll do that for you. It doesn't say I can't do that. The only thing it says it can't do is it won't create anything it finds to be offensive. I googled, I googled what will it not claim to be able to do? Like, if you say I want you to take a picture of scary and make him naked, it'll go, yeah, I can't do that, just beyond my I can't do that. Right. But if you say, take a picture scary and make him dance or make it a black and white film noir, they'll do that. It does some things, but if you ask it to do like certain things, if it can't do it, it says, yeah, let me work on that for you. Like that time I told you it lied for like three days, I'm gonna make that picture for you, and it never made the picture. And then it was like, oh, yeah, I shouldn't have said that. I should have said it, but it took you three days to find out and wasted all your freaking time. Right right, Sometimes you have to just say fuck you. I want a live representative. So I don't know if this is a brody move or not. But Andrew and Diamond went out for coffee during the morning. Is it a brody move? Is this a negative thing? Well you'll hear in a second. Okay, I don't like this. It's a brody thing unless it's a good thing. Well, no money, he pulled a brody. He pulled a brody because I don't know if I would do this. I don't like the way he's saying it because he's not making it sound complimentary. They went, they went for coffee and diamond. They were buying coffee for the show, whatever the case.

00:54:12
Speaker 2: And then.

00:54:14
Speaker 1: You know, they have the tip jar there, of course, so he'd be nice, and he went to go throw a dollar in the tip jar. Only he threw a five dollar bill in the tip jar. And I think he was like two cups of coffee. I think it was just for the two of them actually, So he's like, oh no, So he reaches his hand in the tip jar as the woman was turning around.

00:54:40
Speaker 2: And said, hi, hike, uh this was a mistake. Uh uh, And.

00:54:46
Speaker 1: He's trying to pull the five dollar bill out and she just starts laughing, and then he gives it.

00:54:51
Speaker 2: He gives her the dollar.

00:54:53
Speaker 1: So my question is, once the money is in the jar, is it I didn't the point of no return? Isn't it like taboo to just no, oh boait? Hold on? And if it was let's say, maybe one hundred dollars bill accidentally a twenty dollar bill accidentally, is there a threshold because for me, just okay, I mistook a one for a five. I do the five in I'm not going fishing for a five and risking embarrassment with the in front of the barista and everybody else that I'm sticking my hand and a goddamn tip jar. They don't get paid enough as it is. What do you look?

00:55:38
Speaker 2: You just gave me a blank stare.

00:55:39
Speaker 1: There, I gave you a blank stare because you preface this whole conversation with they pulled a Brody move because the brody because yeah, he you know, Diamond was actually Diamond was was mortified and she so she was like, oh my god, how could you do that? You got to leave the five in there? You act you made it. It was an accident, It was a whoops. But what are you gonna do? You're gonna go You're gonna at what point is it worth the embarrassment? Is what I'm saying. Okay, So, first of all, it's not a David Brody move because I would never put the wrong bill in a tip jar. Okay, No, No, know what I'm saying, because because I'm I'm smart with my money, I would make sure that I had to pre load it in one of my back pockets. What I was putting in the jar. Let's say Randa, Let's say David Brody had an accident. If I put a five accidentally put a fip jar, I put a five in a tip jar, and then I have a tip story for you. I put a five in a tip jar and I meant to put a one in a tip jar. I would not take the five back. I would. However, if it was a ten, I might reach in and grab a five out, Like if I put a ten in instead of a one, I wouldn't go looking for nine dollars, but I might take a five out just to cut your loss. And I that I would just say. I would just say, hey, I'm putting in a ten taking out five. I need the five to get home later or whatever. I need to guess them. But if it's an accidental five, the accidental five stays there. No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't go for the five, David Wow, I would not go for the five because I value service. I value servers. Now, I will tell you why did you give him? Why would you want to give him one in the first place? Well, I never said I would give him a one. I'm saying if I was intending to give a one, if two cups, how much is the coffee is it's Starbucks coffee.

00:57:32
Speaker 2: Seven eight dollars for two cups?

00:57:33
Speaker 1: Okay? Did they fill the cups? Did I put milk in it? How much work did they do? I don't know because it sounds like a two bucker, A two bucker all right? I think the one buck is chinzy, as we'd say in New York, it's cheap. It's chintzy. I wouldn't have put I wouldn't put it downe Now, scary when you get your call washed? How much do you put into the little plastic thing when the guys are drawing your car and they can't see you, Are they looking or are they not? That I said? They can't it to you? Okay, there have been times where I've been short on cash and I maybe only give them like two dollars, but I like to give them five. Five is usually what I usually throw in there. But if they're not looking, it doesn't matter much, does it, because they split all the tips anyway. They don't know and they don't know what you put in because because they're usually about fifteen fifteen feet away from the bucket right the cause, all the way the cause, all the way pulled up, they put the tip thing by the where the car comes out, and then they drive the car up and dry it off. They don't know. I'll tell you. One time I had no money, so I did the like I'm pinching nothing, and I put my hand like I was pushing something in the mom I made it look like I had to I.

00:58:45
Speaker 2: Did need any money on me.

00:58:46
Speaker 1: You gave them.

00:58:46
Speaker 2: You gave them a pocket full of nothing.

00:58:48
Speaker 1: I gave them air. I had no money, but you made the gesture like you yeah, right. I did the tap. I tapped it like I was trying to get the you know when the bill gets stuck and it doesn't fall all the way. Yes, I did the tap like I was knocking knocking the hole.

00:59:04
Speaker 2: Right, You're a crumb bum.

00:59:07
Speaker 1: But what happened was I had the money in my jeans pocket, but at the last minute I switched to shorts. This was last summer, and so I didn't have the money. I thought I had the money. I would never have gone deliberately without money, and I'm like, oh, I don't have any money, and you can't tip on a credit card. These guys don't take credit cards, so I was like fuck. So the next time I went, I put double money in. Hopefully it's the same workers. But I definitely did these because people are looking, the people on the bench that are waiting for their cars, they're looking. So I with my back, I stood in front of the thing so they couldn't see the box in front of me. All I could seem was like you know when you're peeing a bush. Yes, yes, you could see my hand go towards the box and tap it, so that people with cars thought I put money in. I got a tip thing for you. I got another tip question. Okay, make this a tip break. I went to dinner with a friend last night, right, okay, and the waitress we was splitting the check. Obviously, the waitress says she has a handheld machine, and she says, oh, here you go. Who's going first? I'll go first. You just have to answer two questions and then you can tap your card, so you don't get to see the check until you answer the two questions. So the questions are how much are you tipping? What was the other one? Who was? How much? Are you using a credit card or debit card? I think? And then what percentage?

01:00:31
Speaker 2: Oh?

01:00:31
Speaker 1: What percentage? And then you have to did okay, I forget what the other question was. So I had to figure out what percentage I was giving before I even saw the total. It said like, oh, if you give twenty percent, it's six bucks or cent whatever it was. So I gave twenty two percent because I thought twenty two percent was like five and change, and I was like, that's not a lot. So for like a dollar fifty more, I gave twenty two percent. Okay. So then I hand the machine to my dinner partner and I do the double piece on. I go to two and he looks at me like, hau, what are you doing? And he looks at the machine. Now the waitress is standing there. He says, he says to me, what percentage did you give her? Would you answer him? No? Answer him right, so, right, exactly no. So I say, I go, dude, I already gave you the fingers. And he goes, what's the big deal. He looks at her and he goes, she's gonna see what you tipped her. Anyway, what percentage did you give her? I go, dude, give what you want. I didn't I gave her. I will say, when you're doing the machine split like that, I think you got to give the same amount. I don't. I don't. If he wants to give more, he can, but he can't give less. Well that's a fact, but nobody no. But if he gives more than, he makes you look like right. So I said, that's why I gave him the two two. So after he goes, oh, well, I'm just gonna give twenty percent, I go, heez you. So he gives twenty percent and I'm like, dude, I gave you the twenty two sign. He's like, I thought you were saying peace be with you God. So I'm like, you jipped out like a dollar fifty. But I just want to make sure we're on the same page. Even though she's gonna see what I tipped her, I'm not gonna yell when she's standing there, Oh I gave her blah blah blahh No that just keep it quiet, just move on, especially since my boy doesn't know what I gave. What if I gave eighteen or fifteen percent? Right then I'm like, oh, I only gave her fifteen percent? What what like I did? I gave twenty two pcent? But well he doesn't know what I gave. Wow, you can't ask. He's got to learn like code.

01:02:41
Speaker 2: I don't get it.

01:02:42
Speaker 1: That's right, Yeah, okay, all right, we'll be right back. I got sound to play you.

01:02:50
Speaker 2: You you are a sound maven. You get all the clues. Here's the thing.

01:02:53
Speaker 1: My my voicemail box on my phone is packed. It's packed. I can't especially the delete files you've been taking like that. I am getting NonStop. I told you, guys, this NonStop loan offers non stop call. You know, remember I told you, Like the last ten times I've played clips, they're all like, hey, this is your this we'll call you. This is the last step. We have one more step to go, and you're approved. Okay, friendly, Hey, well let you know you've been approved and we're at the final step to get you your money. Right, that's nice. Well, now they're getting abusive. Now they're getting threatening. They're giving me time frames, every one of them. All the companies have changed their tone. So I'm gonna play the clips for you, but I check with Verizon. According to the Verizon Spam the call filter app, I can make it where if it's a spam call, they can't leave a voicemail. So I set that setting and it's not working, of course, not okay, all right, let's play all the clips and listen to how each one, in a different way is trying to pressure me. Here we go.

01:04:05
Speaker 4: I want to level with you. The program you qualified for only has a handful of openings left, and they're going quickly. Get back to me right away so I can lay everything out for you.

01:04:13
Speaker 1: At two, I want to I want to level with you, like dude, this is real. Now, this is real. Okay, this is the next one. Here we go.

01:04:23
Speaker 3: We strongly encourage you to act now before it's too late. Time is running out. Press too now to speak with our team and get this finalized.

01:04:32
Speaker 1: Okay, so time is running out. TI, I got a horry, scary hold on, we got more. Here we go, five dollars a month.

01:04:40
Speaker 4: I have to be straight with you. This particular offer has a hard cutoff, and once we pass this, there's nothing I can do to bring it back. I'll be here for your call, but please don't let too much time go by it two one, seven, Okay, have.

01:04:53
Speaker 1: To be straight with you. This particular offer has a hard cutoff. Once we pass it, there's no that I can do to bring it back. Hey, let's see what this. Let's do this one at this threat. Here we go a month.

01:05:06
Speaker 5: This one is moving fast because the capital has already been earmarked and they're distributing it on a first come basis. Please reachtack out to me quickly. There's a ticking clock on this at to one ticking clock.

01:05:18
Speaker 1: So there's she's creating a sense of urgency for you. This one's moving fast. The capital has already been earmarked and they're distributing it on a first come basis. Please reach back out there. The ticking clock scary. Here we go, there's another one.

01:05:32
Speaker 5: I mean, is everything on this one. If we don't hear from you soon, your reserved amount gets redistributed automatically. I'm ready and waiting for you.

01:05:38
Speaker 2: Okay.

01:05:39
Speaker 1: Timing is everything on this one. We don't hear from you soon, you're reserved them ount gets redistributed. What a matic? So now they're going to take action against you because you're not acting right. Here we go another one.

01:05:51
Speaker 4: I pleased a temporary hold on your files, but that's bill expires shortly after that. The next call fient applicant justice. Please reach back out to me quickly. There's a ticking clock on this.

01:06:03
Speaker 1: A ticking clock on this one. Also, so she's put a temporary hold with that wold expires short. They can't hold it forever. Dude. After that, the next qualifying the next person is gonna get it scary, Not me, the next person. Okay, here's another one. Here we go.

01:06:18
Speaker 5: You to understand this isn't an indefinite thing. The moment the program cap has reached, all pending offers get withdrawn. I'm at my desk right now, so reach out to me. The moment you hear this at two one step Okay.

01:06:27
Speaker 1: The moment you hear this, reach out. So she's waiting by her desk for your call. BA I need you to understand this. It's an indefinite thing. You thought it was. You thought it was like it's This is not an indefinite thing. The moment the program cap is reached. Scared, you know what happens when the cap is reached? Oh, forget it.

01:06:42
Speaker 2: It's over all pending.

01:06:44
Speaker 1: Offers get withdrawn. Goodbye. Okay, let's let's hear my next threat.

01:06:49
Speaker 3: Okay, hold on fixed monthly installments around three hundred dollars a month. What I can tell you is that your file is on a cap.

01:06:58
Speaker 1: This one's whispering to me like it's top secret. In from you catch that. Yeah, he's like, hey, hey x nay, hey hey.

01:07:04
Speaker 3: Fixed monthly installments around three hundred ten dollars a month. What I can tell you is that your file is on a countdown right now.

01:07:11
Speaker 2: Down by the way.

01:07:12
Speaker 3: Lapses, they'll have to run everything all over again.

01:07:14
Speaker 1: Oh oh, it lapses, She's gonna have to run everything all over again. Right.

01:07:18
Speaker 2: I don't want to do that in no way.

01:07:20
Speaker 1: By the way she sounds like missus Michael Oppenheimer, the way she talks about oliverything's out. Let's say this is missus.

01:07:26
Speaker 3: Let's say fixed monthly installments around three hundred ten dollars. I can tell you is what I can tell you is that your file is on a countdown right now, and if it lapses, they'll have to run everything all over again.

01:07:37
Speaker 1: Oh no, I wouldn't want her to have to run everything all over again. Hold on, I got another threat. Here we go.

01:07:43
Speaker 3: Hold on TI there.

01:07:45
Speaker 4: My name is Carlow Sutherland, and you really need to hear this.

01:07:47
Speaker 1: I need to hear it.

01:07:47
Speaker 4: I'm phoning from the disbursement center. I'm notifying you because our records indicate you've been shortlisted for immediate funding for a personal loan short with fifty five thousand dollars, and it comes with favorable monthly installments around three hundred and thirty dollars a month. I cannot emphasize this enough. The reserved amount tied to your name will be reassigned to another applicant. If we don't know, no, we stuck out to me quickly. There's a ticking clock on this five.

01:08:10
Speaker 2: How many ticking clocks do we have here?

01:08:12
Speaker 1: I don't know. And you know what's funny. Every one of these is a different area code. I block every one of them, and they keep calling me, and then how did this start?

01:08:20
Speaker 2: I don't get this. I don't.

01:08:21
Speaker 1: I don't. I have not applied for a loan. I don't need any money. I'm good, all right, all right, Bbrex shit and David Ghetta very nice.

01:08:31
Speaker 2: I didn't have to I'm blue. Well that's to the tune if I'm blue.

01:08:35
Speaker 1: Oh man, oh I'm good, yeah man man, oh man, Okay, so very nice. So how do you how do you rid yourself of this? Because it seems like the more you block, the more they come through. I can't stop it. It's it's twenty thirty calls a day. My phone just keeps going off all day. I got a call from a place. Call it's a real place, Scary. I looked it up, bag Dad Arizona. Did you know there's a bag Dad Arizona. No, unbelievable.

01:09:12
Speaker 2: Unbelievable, my god. So what else? What else is new?

01:09:19
Speaker 1: Brody? I know you had you had a ton of things you wanted to talk about. I got one more thing out of here. It's a piece of audio. I want you to listen to this clip. It's from It's from them, It's from the Elvester in Morning Show, and it involves my my good friend Scary Jones. Oh does it? And he's talking about a problem he had about me, like I'm not here. Yeah. Now, when you hear the problem, the story itself sort of sounds like a David Brody problem. When you hear, you'll be like, I could picture David Brody telling the story. But then it takes a turn at the end that I don't know if I should be flattered or fucking pissed, So slices, I need you to tell me how I should feel about this motherfucker. At the end of this clip. Here we go, opening video player eight. I ordered food. The delivery never showed up. It just says prepping your order. Ninety minutes later, I called the restaurant and the guy goes, oh, yeah, there's a bag sitting here. It's been here for about sixty minutes. No one came to pick it up. So they got the order, they made the food, and then no one came to pick up my food.

01:10:25
Speaker 2: So what you do?

01:10:25
Speaker 1: I said, I'll pay you money. I said, just bring it over here. I'll heat up in the microwave. He goes, we're closing, man, I gotta throw this away. So I it was, and then I got nothing for it. Hold on, So, so far it sounds like a David Brody restaurant story, right, scare you would admit that that's the kind of thing that would happen, right, I told that story here on this podcast. Yeah, but wait, there's more app other than a refund on the food. But hello, I went starving. I never had my dinner starving. I no, no, no, they owe me frigging credit. They owe me at least a fifty dollars if because even if not even I don't hung aha aha, you heard it you heard it. You heard what he said. I never had my dinner, Jarvey. I no, no, no, they owe me frigging credit. They owe me because even if not even I went hungry.

01:11:20
Speaker 2: The other night.

01:11:21
Speaker 1: Yeah, even if not even I don't hear a quote, don't him saying as my friend David Brody would say, as my as my podcast call. No, he just takes my expression and throws it on the radio like he's a big shot.

01:11:32
Speaker 2: But even is not even And that's a but that's smart.

01:11:34
Speaker 1: That's tattooed on my ass. That's my phrase, that's my thing. I can't borrow it. You can't even if not even it you he's gotta say. You know what Brody would say, You gotta say. You gotta give me some credit there. You gotta quote me. You don't say like I can't. I can't throw your name into the mix on the big show after you haven't been here for four years and people don't know who you are three point eight if you could say, as my podcast co host broke he always says that.

01:12:02
Speaker 2: Brother, that's bad broadcast radio etiquette.

01:12:05
Speaker 1: I can't you can't introduce I'm not necessary listen. In the context of the conversation, can you introduce unnecessary facts? Now, I'm not now, Slices, I'm not being a dick because we all know and love each other and we're all the family here. And you're like, yeah, are you saying that? How could the people not know Brody? But you have to realize we broadcast to five million people a week. There's it's a constant rounding door. Hold on, I understand, And I'm explaining to the slices no, because they're gonna jump on me for saying what I just said. But the truth is Brody has not been on the air in four years, and people forget, Like people don't know who Great. There are a lot of people that don't know who Greg t is. But like, so it's in a sort of bring your name up into a conversation. Would have to then I would have to give context to be like, you know, Brody, the guy, the guy who used to work here, you know. And because the listeners don't know who you, the general masses, you're missing the point. Don't know who you are. You don't need to say. You don't need to say hey, as Brody would say. You could say as my my podcast co host or or friend of the show, Brody, that's it. Everyone would be like, Oh, he's some guy whos been on the show. You guys talk about Uncle Johnny. He's been dead for three years. True, people know who he is. Yeah, you talk about you talk about people that don't know Greg T hasn't been on the show since twenty nineteen. You don't mention him. Ever, it never comes up. You go, oh, remember what times Elvis will preface it by saying, there was a guy who used to work here. His name is Greg T. But we had Carla, Marie and Anthony on our show. He Elvis had to set it up every time. So Carl, Maria and Anthony used to work here because because with a shoes with a tune that's so large like that, you've already explained and I understand radio no, no, no, but I'm explaining it for the slices because they got they already they're gonna I'm not saying you have to be very as clear about that. Okay, you didn't have to say, as Brody says. You could have said, as my friend Brody says, no one needs to know who I am at that point, or as friend of the show Brody says, or you know what broke my guy my pause? My podcast partner says, you know what it right? He always says, even if not even, but you know what next time, you know, next time I will do that. I'm not opposed to that, but but to just throw your name in the mix for unnecessarily, you know, on on the National Morning Show, I would you know?

01:14:29
Speaker 2: I didn't.

01:14:30
Speaker 1: I'm just that these are the broadcast principles of broadcast, you know of radio of oh well, speaking of broadcast principles of radio. When you play my pop my phone taps, which are legendary, do you say you give a five minute Diana tribed me about who what bro Elvis always says, there was David Brody used to be on the show and he always gave us great phone taps.

01:14:49
Speaker 2: He was the King of the phone tag.

01:14:50
Speaker 1: And he always says that whenever he wants to give we don't give it context. Right, So here's what you do? Yeah, well, you know what, I was hungry. I want I want some kind of gift card. As king of the phone taps, Brody always says, folks, people know who I am. I just feel like stealing my line and not even like you know, mentioning like a nod unity you needed to not to plug up podcast? Yes, to plug that was an opportunity. Hey, as my podcast, the Brooklyn Boys podcast co host always says even if not even then everybody goes, oh, yeah, that's right, Brody's theory whatever. But you plug our podcast. That's what I'm here for. I'm here for getting airtime for the podcast. Oh you know, you know what I'm told, you know what I'm promised. I'm promised that this episode right here that you're all listening to will be featured on the Elvis Durant on demand channel.

01:15:38
Speaker 2: So maybe maybe you're discovering us for the.

01:15:40
Speaker 1: First time right now because it is on the Elvis d Rant on demand channel.

01:15:44
Speaker 2: Isn't that great?

01:15:45
Speaker 5: Now?

01:15:45
Speaker 1: Wait a second. In our logo it says Brody, and it says Scary and Brody. Should it say Scary and Brody, you know the guy that used to work on the morning show here four years ago and did some of the best phone taps? Or can it just say Brody? Because I listen, I know the history of the show, and I understand the cub and everybody moves up right. Okay, But Elvis references people that have n't He'll he'll mention, Oh, our friend Rob Shooter. Rob hasn't been on the show in years, but he used to be on a lot. He's still what. I don't know, who listens, I don't know anyway. Uh, all you had to say was my friend. You know, my friend, Brody always says, and then no one's gonna question it. They just know your friend, Brody, unless you don't feel comfortable calling me your friend, that's what you're saying. I don't know. Well, I feel like you know, I feel like you are my friend. I feel like you're First of all, you're you're trying to sell my Mad magazines and my comic books.

01:16:33
Speaker 2: How's that going? How's that going?

01:16:34
Speaker 1: By the way, just gave to me a few hours ago. I'm playing pick a ball tonight. I'll get to it this weekend. Relaxed, it's only been a couple hours. I just saw you a little while ago. All right, all right, I'm very excited about being in that. Now listen, I have a question. Yeah, like everybody else's podcasts, are we going to be now? Every week? Slice time included in the Elvis Strand because we're Paul you Elmstrand Network, the mighty Elvis Strand work.

01:16:58
Speaker 2: Slice Time is gonna make it.

01:16:59
Speaker 1: But I'm gonna let me at least fight for every new episode of Brooklyn Boys to get on. Let me Lifetime is a new episode of content. Yeah, but let's let's start one thing. Let's start at the very beginning, A very good place to start. David Brody, that's right. You know what I understand from what you told me. There's a lot of buttons to push and switches to flip to make this happen.

01:17:20
Speaker 2: There's a lot going on, a lot of moving parts.

01:17:22
Speaker 1: So let's focus on the Brooklyn Boys and then we'll just if people listen to the episode, will plug Slicetime. That works out. We're gonna get everything in there, all right. And by the way, it's summertime. Brooklyn Boys dot Bigcartel dot com. Let's pick up some tank tops, some T shirts, some baseball hats. We haven't sold a lot of merchandise this winter. I get that, but now's the time to you know, put some food on the Brody table. Let's get some scary Jones needs a yes to pay the cleaning lady and the uh the interior decorator. Sorry, let's buy some merchandise. Brooklyn Boys do bigcuteil dot Com.

01:17:54
Speaker 2: All right, all right, next week.

01:18:03
Speaker 1: Brocoly Boys, brocl, Brock Boys, Brock Brol