#380: Friendly Foreigner or Touchy Tourist?

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Speaker 1: Start Up, dot Up, start Up, Brooklyn Boy, start Up, Brooklyn Buy, start Up, dot dot Up.

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Speaker 2: They making noise, dot Up, start Up, Dodda dot.

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Speaker 1: Up Episode three. Aby, it's the Brooklyn Boys Podcast. Hello everyone, I'm Scary Jones. I'm David Brody. You sound extra upbeat today, Scary Yeah. You know why because we're doing this podcast in the middle of the afternoon and not eleven o'clock at fucking night, bra. And it's also on a Friday, on a Friday, on vacation. That's right, This is Scary on vacation. We're in overtime, folks, and we're giving you a podcast and guess what, Yes, we'll do another one next week. You know why, because we're a fly really for white guys. You know, if I'm not out of town, it's okay. We're probably just sweating. I'm if I'm not out of town, we gotta get We give the slices the pod, you know, it's what we do now. The morning Show is going on a two week vacation. Two week vacation starting today Friday, June twenty six. Yes, right, so two weeks of yeah, but it's two and a half weeks. The two weeks where the show won't be on. Now, what a great opportunity, especially for our new listeners, to go back and listen to some of our old episodes. Yes, you've got three hundred and three hundred and eighty roughly, and this is three eighty. So with counting zero this three eighty plus a couple of interview episodes, you got a lot to listen to. So if the morning show's on repeats, then yeah, And you were like, I heard this bit before, turn on another episode of the Brooklyn Boys that you haven't heard and this are you going away the second weeks? I am so my family, I'll be talking about that. My family rented a house in Anguila. Now the fuck if I know? I thought Anguila and Antigue, what we're the same place. I have no idea. It's one of the a islands, you know, the Aruba and t you know. But so so my sister in law's parents go there like every year and swear by it. And for years they've been trying to drag my dad, my sister, my brother and everybody else to Anguila with them. And I said, look, if you guys want to talking about it later, because she said, I'm gonna talk about it later. Now you're talking about it, so we in we do now? Well right now, it was just a tip. But I mean, I think you know what happens when you say it's just a tip, you end up going all in. So we might as well just be all in, all right, So I just want to clarify for the for the for the s license. You said we're going to talk about it. You meant now we're gonna talk about more, Okay, So I guess I lied though now no, I mean, I don't lie. It's it does not much to this story. It's not really a story. It's just it's kind of setting up the fact that I will be with my dad, my sister, and my brother and the family, and you didn't plan the trip. This is not some celebrity house. You's staying correct, So you don't have a bartender and a maid. And my sister in law's parents took the lead on it. I said, if you guys want to do it, and guess what they did. They took the bull by the horns. And so this is a surprise to me. I've never been to Anguilla. I don't know what to expect. All I heard was that they have amazing food there and the water is beautiful and they have great beaches. So I'm looking forward to some family time. That will be after the fourth of July for that second week, so that's when I will be away. But I'm here now, you're here, brother, You're going on any vacations? Uh yeah, I'm taking a vacation from the Morning show. So far it's lasted four years. Okay, perfect, Yeah, So vacation I'm on. So yeah, I mean I'm going uh yeah, So that's what I'll be And again, I have no other thing to say about that because it hasn't happened yet. So oh okay, right, very good. So my point of asking you if you're going away is that what's scary and I are going to do is record a special introduction and we're going to put up an episode that we feel is one of our favorites. Mm hm. And so if you haven't, if you're if you're a now Slice and one of the many people that now listens, because we're in the Elvis Strand podcast folder and you haven't listened since episode zero, We're gonna suggest one for you. Do I Where Do I Go back? We'd like you to start from zero, but just in case, we're gonna give you a taste of old school. Uh. And there may be references in there that are a little dated. I don't know. We'll see if we have time to listen to it. Oh you mean the boys, Uh, the the social distancing and the no two weeks two weeks till the two weeks until the cure or is it two weeks? Uh, and we'll be back kind of thing. Remember when they said two weeks. Well they didn't, but someone did. Yeah, everyone said we'll see in two weeks. That was That was the initial thing, exactly. No, it's probably gonna be pre COVID. Otherwise we have to edit all the COVID stuff. I'm sound out of place, but yeah, pre COVID we did three hundred and fifty episode. Yeah, I didn't. I didn't like the COVID. The COVID days were really dark dark. We sho didn't have the technology. It was kind of weird for us to like what we're doing now. It's much more advanced. Anyway, we're gonna put up a classic episode. We'll pick one that we thought was a lot of fun, with some good rants and some good scaryisms and we'll find a good one and we'll put that up so you'll have something to listen to that week. That being sad, Scary, we're doing this on a Friday. Friday, we're supposed to card this on a Tuesday. On a Tuesday, Scary didn't get back to me, didn't say like, I can't do it today. I'm swamped. And so at the end of the day Tuesday, I'm like, hey, sket we're podcasting today. He is, Oh, man, I'm not gonna read you the exact text message. He's like, oh, I'm editing best of bits and I stayed late at work. Sam's I'm overwhelmed. I've been working non stoppa. I gotta take a nap problem, So listen. I feel bad for Scary. He's working hard. He's covering for Sam. We just had a baby, congratulations Sam. Scary's doing all the work he used to do before Sam got hired. Old school job requirements. But here's the thing and slices that you've all done this. Sometimes you put things on social media that go against what you said to your people around you. Scary told me he's working late by editing audio crazy solemn I'm underwater. I'm so busy. I really was. However, on Instagram that day he posted lunch exclamation point, exclamation point, expla point, so nice, so nice seeing Caden today, Froggy's son, and is a picture of him with palm trees, and he's he is at lunch with a bunch of people. I'm glad to know you were working hard and you couldn't do the Brooklyn Boys because He's all, I'm underwater, I'm swamped. I'm just editing, editing, editing. I can't come m You were at lunch with the whole morning show. Okay, lying bastard, No, I wasn't all right. Let me defend myself here, okay, in all fairness, and Nate is my witness on this. I was staying late and then I was leaving the station to come back because I had to do I had if I had to do more work at home, and so Nate was leaving and I was leaving at the same time. I walked out and he goes, hey, what are you doing? Where are you going? I said, I'm headed home, I said you. He goes, yeah, me too. He's He says, I'm taking the train. I said let me give you a ride because I have to go that way. Anyway, I'm going to go downtown. I'm gonna go straight downtown, so let's go top down. Everything to be great. So he goes, yeah, listen, the only thing is on my way. I was going to stop by. Froggy's son, Cayden is here and Danielle and Elvis took him to lunch at Leboucherie. So so I said, Okay, that's Bougie in the name, doesn't it. No, it's Le Boucherie b O U C H E R I E whatever. This two of them anyway, the one in midtown. And he goes like, oh, he goes, I'm going to stop by. I said, you know what, you know, my glp ones kicked in. I'm not hungry at all, dude. I you know, my orderly meds are really taking effects. Okay, sponsor got it. Okay, yeah, I said, I'm not hungry. I said, but I'll stop by with you. So what did we do? We stopped by, We sat down, I drank a glass of water, Nate ate the rest of Danielle fries, and we spent a good fifteen minutes there. Then we got up and we continued on our way. So in those fifteen minutes, Danielle was like, let's take a picture. Click, and she took a picture and put it on social media and I reposted it, so you saw one of the fifteen minutes that I was free, that I didn't even eat lunch. I sat there, drank a glass of water, and then I continued to drive Nate home after that, and I was right back to work again. Okay, so let's end Alge where my electrician was waiting for me, because hold on, we'll get to that shit. Hold on, it's electrician, not Dridsien. He's not French. You spent fifteen minutes in the restaurant, fifteen minutes to drive and to park and to get out of the car and walk there, more time to get out, more time to take Nate home. That's about an hour. That hour could have been used to record a Brooklyn Boys podcast. So you're full of shit. You got busted. You posted on social media. You're busted. I didn't do anything wrong and I still had to listen. Never mentioned that. You said, oh, we want to talk about you want to talk about me really dropping the ball and me you know, like kind of flat leaving my other podcast host, Cheryl. I haven't done a speaking volume since she announced that she was pregnant, and we've been going back and forth and I can't find a time to do all this stuff. Listen, listen. This is a very busy time of year, and I'm without Sam, who's on maternity leave, who does a ship ton of work for the show. I'm doing her job now, so I'm doing two jobs. Okay, you took an hour out of your time to stop buy a restaurant to see people you work with all morning, to see the son of a coworker who you barely know. That's not true, instead of doing a pot cave cave has grown into you know what. Kate actually wants to start listening to the Brooklyn Boys, like his friend Spencer Danielle's son. I mean, listen, Kay's a great kid. I love Ka Ka. He's like off fucking twenty two already. Do we know him inside? He was like five, he was two two, three years old. He's a good kid. They did a good job raising him. But my point is you spent an hour, and I'm fine with that, but then you said you never mentioned it. Oh, I work so hard. I'm I do work hard. I work hard. From underwater, you're underwater. You aren't underwater. You were next to water, the glass of water at the restaurant. That's what you should have said. I'm next to water. I went to a restaurant. And now I have no time for the Brooklyn boys. Let's all be honest about it. But you're busted, all right, we move on. I don't want I'm busted. I busted you. You're busted. You're busted. Uh, you gotta I want to do an early grammar police. Can we do a quick early grammar police. Yeah, we got a grammar police right here. Yeah, just real quick, fuck it, ram police, Rama police police. The grammar police are always out, they're always watching. They're always correct thing. I was in Shopwright, which is a huge local supermarket. That's grammar police right there. They spell right R I T E yes, and it's one word shot right, it should be R I G H T No. That that's poetic license. Okay, scary. Remember when you made your chicken cutlets and panco Yeah, and I said you should use four C. What are four C? What are they known for? Besides is known for Italian bread, crumbs the black and white can Now, how do you spell bread crumbs? B R E A D C R U M B S. That's correct, bread crumbs now now, shop right again a major supermarket. Don't even tell me on the end you know the I already they have the sign at the end of the already that tells you how they like what's in this aisle? Yeah, tomato, sauce, mac and cheese. Scary. Look, I'm holding up the picture. What does it say on the sign bread crumbs? Two words, right, bread space crumbs. If I wanted to buy crumbs, because that's the what's written there, the crumbs of bread, then I would go into that aisle and buy a bag of crumbs of bread. How do you get that wrong? You're a supermarket, you sell bread crumbs. It says bread crumbs on the canisters, shop right, what do you do? What would have been worse is if they left out the B and crumbs and make it just cr U M S. Yes, well, thankfully they spelled vegetables wrong. Correct, They spelled vegetables correct? Right? Yeah, bread crumbs? I mean that that's how can I trust Shop Right to buy anything? Now? Bread crumbs? All right? There? You can I give it? Would you buy? Would you buy sour dough bread to words?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 1: Because it's salad? Want do hey listen? I gotta tell you fucking love an Amazon these days? So did we? We did time a little which Prime? It's Prime days today? All wee can't? Did you? Did we talk on this podcast about we did a recap of my dad's party a little bit, right, did we? Last year? So the sparklers, the strippers then swallow okay. So one of the things that we gave that that I got as a party favor was a bag of a pound one pound bag of Rigatoni and it was spelled and I put a sticker on it like Rigga Tony, like my father's name is Tony, put his face on it, and and a bottle of Victoria sauce, Victoria sauce jar with Happy eightieth Tony. So that was in a bag and it was everyone got a pound of pasta and a and a jar of Victoria sauce. So let's rewind a few days. I tried to get the pasta and I said, oh, Amazon's got a is running this deal and I'm an Amazon Prime member, And it said you wanted this today on Monday. You you will get next day shipping. I'm like, it'll be arrived on your doorstep. And I'm sure there's happened to all the slices. So I already talked about it many times. Yet, So I ordered fucking fifty bags of this pasta that was on sale. I bought it in bulk, about two cases, like forty eight forty eight yea, and it was, you know, like one hundred eighty dollars worth fucking pasta. Its a lot, a lot of money. But I mean that's for all the guests. Everyone got one, right, Well, I ordered it on a Monday. It said it'll be here Tuesday. My party's on Friday. What do you think happens, David Brody? On Tuesday, there seems a notification. Yeah, you're delayed. You're delayed, Like, oh, that's interesting. Wednesday comes around Thursday. Now I'm like fuck. So I went to shop Right and I got it on sale even cheaper, and I bought all the bags in person, and I said, fucking I'm I'm gonna cancel this order that still hasn't shipped yet. I go to Amazon. You can't cancel it because it's coming from somewhere else. I got a I called up customer service and I made them physically canceled it. Spoke to a manager. I said, look, you fucked me. I needed this shit for tomorrow. It hasn't even shipped yet. They still doesn't tell me what it's gonna ship. I don't want your pasta. Take it back. So they said, we're gonna give you a refund. So they refunded me my full money right back to the card, and I was okay with that. The party happens. The pasta gets distributed Tuesday morning of this week. Hello, it's Amazon and your pasta has shipped. I'm like, whoa, I don't need fifty fucking pounds of pasta. What are you doing to me? They're like, yeah, your pasta shipped, it's on the way. I'm like no, So I called up. I called at Amazon. I'm like, yo, yo, yo, you you did refund me, right, it's an impostas, it's an imposta. No right, it's free pasta, free pasta. So so they go to me, yeah, no, we refunded your card. I said, well, what am I gonna do? And then and then next thing, they're like, oh, we're gonna try, and we're gonna try, and no, no, no. The next morning, there's fucking two giant cases of pasta waiting for me at the door. I called Amazon again, How am I getting this back to you? You got two got fifty fucking pounds of pasta, fifty bags of pasta, right RIGATONI to me, eate it? What donate it? That's what I was gonna do. And I did that. I donated it. But he said to me, oh, no, sir, it's good. I said, what do you mean it's good? You gave me a refund good? And I got your pasta and I got it. I got it late. I don't need this, dude, coasted Apasta's five bucks? Then who do I send it to? And they were like, keep it, it's more expensive to bring it back. I couldn't believe it. I was like, you're gonna allow me to keep fifty fucking pounds of pasta for free? This is like all coast to two hundred dollars of pasta, pasta, it's egg and flour, whatever, it doesn't cost anything. Fuck out of here. I couldn't believe it. Look at scary upset he got free pasta. I just thought I was like Facebook Marketplace selling the pasta for twenty bucks. Wow. No, I would have donated. I'm kidding. No, I donated, but I couldn't believe it. I was like, so is Amazon that willy nilly with their fucking shit, Like like, oh, just dude, it did billionaires on top of billionaires. They don't. It's fine, it's Pasta the company. Listen. Amazon will reimburse the pasta company. The pasta company will get their money, and Amazon would rather have you as a happy customer. But I'll tell you what. And I talked about this. I think I told about a couple episodes ago. Sometimes when I order something and it's supposed to be two days shipping, and it'll say after two days, oh, it's delayed. We don't have an arrival date yet. Here's what I do. I order another one and that one will arrive in two days, and then I cancel the other one, or when it eventually arrives, I return it. I bought a small shoe rack a couple of weeks ago, and I need it. I wanted to put it together over the weekend when you know, so it said we'll be arriving on Saturday. So on Friday it said delayed. We have no idea when it's coming. So I bought another one that said arriving tomorrow, so I got it. So I got the second one on the day the first one was supposed to arrive, and the first one arrived a week later, and I just returned it. Yeah, but you returned it. They didn't want to take the damn pasta back. They're like, nah, why would you order fifty pounds of pasta from Amazon when you just go to the store. I don't know. I get it all right, right when we come back. I got some Amazon tips. I want to share it everybody speaking Amazon Boys podcast. I mean, I'm loving Amazon more and more now. I mean I've always liked it. But Amazon's great. Let me tell you what Amazon is great at. Not great at. But there's a workaround. They just added a new thing. I mean, it could have been a month ago before. You're like, oo's new called price history. You go to most items and next to the price is a link that says price history. You click on that and it tells you that item over the past month, year, and three years. So that's fun and it shows you has it been discounted. Has it been on sale? That's do it. It gets better. They worked in AI into their app. Now, so if you see what the sale price was on that item, Let's say two months ago, it was twenty five dollars and now it's thirty five, and you're like, fuck, I wanted a twenty five. You tell it. Alert me if it ever goes down to twenty five again, and it sends you an alert if it goes on sale again to that price, say, great, so fantastic. Now it's Amazon Prime days. We've all experienced this. You buy something in a store and then three days later it goes on sale. A lot of stores will if you go in with the receipt, they'll adjust the price. Right, we'll go up. Yeah, no problem, because they know if they don't adjust the price, what are you gonna do? Go somewhere else, you gonna no, you're gonna buy No, oh, you're gonna buy another one, Buy another one, and then then return it the one at the higher old receipt. Sorry about that? Okay, yeah, yeah, got so. I what a bunch of stuff. Last week four or five items, and four of the five items are now heavily discounted. For Prime Week. Now I needed the items, sure right, and I forgot Prime Week was coming. So now I looked, and my stuff that I bought is twenty five dollars total less than what I paid for it. So I called Amazon, I said, can you do a price adjustment? We don't do that. Sorry, So what did I do? Scary? I ordered all of those things again, yep, and we'll return them one of the original receipts. Brilliant. They don't teach you that in school. No harm, no foul. Because I paid twenty five dollars more, I'm getting back twenty five dollars more. So I asked, nicely, can you just do a price adjustment? Now? Oh yeah, we don't do that. Who you are? Now? There was a time they did, and maybe I just got a bad operation instead of a smooth operator. Smooth operator. Okay, So all my stuff arrived today and I will be retired pumpkins. All my stuff arrived today or two day two days. I've been listening, paying attention to the song game that we're playing subliminally as we talk. Okay. Also, I bought lights for h thank you? All right? All right? I bought string lights for my balcony. Okay, and the return date ended four days ago. I'm sorry, Yeah, return date ended four days ago, but only lasted like they've only been on the balcony for two weeks. They're defective. So I called Amazon. I said, the lights are defective. Well it's out of uh, it's out of the return window.

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Speaker 2: No is it?

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Speaker 1: Is it? So what did I do? Scary you? Okay? It involves you buying another one and then you returned another one and you returned I bought, I bought another one and I'll return the one that arrived with the old one that doesn't work anymore. That is correct, because they sold me defected defective ship. Yeah boo yah, so boo yah. Again, not looking to take advantage, just looking to get even, but definitely took advantage in the process. So you know I had a house guest over the weekend, right, did you inflatable bed flatable mattress? Did you return it? Again? Speaking of it? Told Darren told Darren was in from London and he spent three nights on. Now, no need to return an air mattress because now my studio office is fully functioned, fully fully furnished, functional, and we're ready to rock, so so I had the I had the bed, the the Queen bed pullout. So it was great. It was I have a couch that turns into a bed and he was super comfortable on He's got his own bathroom. Everything was it was great. But are you gonna try to return the pull out couch now? On one of the nights he's like, hey, listen, I'm a member of a Soho House in London. Now, if you don't know what the Soho House is, so House is a membership only club. A lot of this has been like a big trend here in New York, started in Europe back in the day, where you basically pay a fee and then you get to go to have priority for dinner there and you get access to their lounges and clubs and if they have a pool or reduced rate on a hotel if it's a hotel as well, they usually these so the Soho House is like has everything. They got a hotel and pools and everything like that. So the original one is in Soho London, and Darren's a member. And with these, with these membership clubs, you're not only a member of that one, but you're a member of that club all around the world wherever they opened one. So I don't know who sings that song? Who sings that song all around the world, all around the world of were not Chili peppers? Uh or atc it goes around the world, and La La la sel around the world, and and and and daft punk around the world has a few of them, and red not Chili Peppers. So so I so when Darren travels around the world, he goes to the different Soho houses. Now, the first house was London. The second one, I believe was the famous one in New York City and the Meatpacking District, made famous by the Sex and the City girls. If you remember Samantha and all of them. They would why why are they it's not in so because the original one is in Soho London? I know, But there's a Soho Manhattan. Shouldn't they have found a way to get you would saying, But the real est was there for the meatpacking district. That's where they bought the property. Damn it, you can't win them all, bro so so the one that one has a nice rooftop pool and they filmed a lot of sex in the city there in the nineties. Two thousands whatever. So Darren's like, I'm taking you to the Soho House in New York City, membership only place. So what time are we going? But that was last week? Why did you do you want to go? I would have Oh, well, this Soho House has a restaurant and it has a pool and then have a pool down so indoor pool outdoor only. Oh so you would like that, yeah, rooftop. So He's like, let's go, Let's bring your boys. So I invited straight Nate and to come to the Soho House. So me and Nate, I was I was off last week. Oh I didn't know that. Yeah, okay. So so Nate and Darren and I went to the Soho House. We had dinner and then we went upstairs to the pool. But we were hanging out out and it was after hours and it was a DJ spinning nineties music and this guy comes over to us and we start he was British. He sounded and looked like Sheldon Danielle's husband, and we're trying to play the game British or gay because we didn't know. We don't know, is this guy just overly friendly because he's British and he's not from here and we're not used to that kind of hospitality and or is he just hitting on somebody here? So, you know, he was very overt. He was very like, Hi, how are you. I'm so and so just making friends here in town. And the guy had that British accent going, you know. Darren and Nate and I were talking to him, and next thing you know, within like three minutes, he's buying us a drink at the bar, which was very nice of him to buy you a drag, all right, T payin young Jack, So we could have gotten like roofied right then and there. But we're guys and we don't think these things through. He was all, I want to buy you a take on the you know, you you know, the what's that drink with the Kampari in it? Negroni, you know, the American Negrony. I want to buy you one based with gin or whatever the case. This is one of Negroni and it's red or red drink. So he's ordering red drinks for us and he's handing them out to me, Darren and everybody, and we're sitting there and we're drinking. We're drinking, and I'm like, what the fuck are we doing right now? This cut and we didn't care. But Nate got like ick icky vibes from him, you know, ikey vibes, didn't He used to play for the Giants. The Giants running back the shuffle this guy, so we couldn't shake him. Within like twenty minutes, he has now ingratiated himself into our group and party himself into all of our conversation. Starts to find out what we do for a living, buys us a drink, and then when we try and shake him off to go to the next place to this, he's like, I'll come with you guys. Meanwhile, this dude claims to have a wife at home in London, but he's in town alone. But we don't know if he was being friendly and he just was lonely or if so we the mystery continues, but Nate was Nate pulled me aside. He's like, dude, we got a fucking duck and cover, get out of here. Let's just pay the bill when he's not looking, We'll go to the bar inside and we'll pay the fucking bill and let's get the fuck takedown that take down the elevator and get that have the uber car the getaway car outside, which is what we did because there was no way that we were going to get rid of this dude. He was literally pining to like be a part of our group for the night. And we don't know if he's trying to get into Nate's bed or what or it was. It was weird, But can people be that? My question is can people be that friendly and have no purpose and no other m o? I mean, because you know where we're from, we always think someone's up to something. They think you want something from me. Bruh, Why are you talking to me? Why are you kicking it to me? Why do you think you think he was gay and hitting on I'm assuming Nate what all? Now? That could have been the only logical thing because that maybe he's by you know, he left town. He's married, but he can only l Yeah, he's on the d L now. Just because I don't remember what neighborhood is, this club located in the meatpacking district. Huh. Just because we're in that neighborhood does not mean that that's what What are you? He's a Soul House member from London and it's Cray and so is Darren. For that matter. But anyway, this dude was was all over us and then and then wouldn't leave us. The mystery remains, we don't have enough and he didn't put his arm around He put his arm around us. Oh, you guys are great. He just came here. He was happy to be friendly Americans, and look what you guys are doing. That's what I'm saying that The other part of me says, do you think he was hitting on? Was triple fucking sure. I mean, there was not a doubt. He would have put money on it that that he was being hit specifically Nate, not that he was hitting on tall Darren, but him he was. I got that's what he said. I got the aky vibes from him, like meaning like I've been down this road before and I know when a guy's hitting on me. I I gave the guy the benefit of the doubt, and he was being wasn't hitting on you, but he was being friendly. I mean, you know you're losing weight with the meds and all, but no, but do you think so? I mean, I don't know. It's it's kind of the big thing. I don't It sounds like he might have been hitting on let's just say Nate for the sake argument. But I also know that Nate has a tendency to think everyone's hitting on him. He does. That's down the downfall of Nate. Nate didn't wake up in the morning going I'm not bad looking. He knows that every day and he lives it, right, He lives that life. Whereas you and you and you and I know they're not hitting on us. No, no, no one, no shot, not a chance, right, we wouldn't be like, oh the guys. But he came into our circle and the first person he spoke to was no, whoa, whoa whoa? He did what he penetrated our circle. Oh that's even worse. He you know, he just jumped on of nowhere the group he jumped in. But who knows, man, I you know, it's a mystery. We'll never know. But I threw it out there because it's we're so as Americans. We're so quick to judge. You think that gay guys are hitting on us, no, yeah, or to think that you know why I was up to something. Someone's up to something no good, even friendly? Right, we don't because we're not like that. When we go other places, We're not just friendly. We walk up to people like ya. I don't think it's an American thing. I think it's an Eastern thing. I think if you were in the South, people would just be naturally friendly to you as long as you fit in, you know, and you weren't like Ovally New York. I think this guy wanted to Well, you gotta sometimes make it fit in innate anyway. Anyway, all right, well that's uh wow, yeah, all right, the further adventures of Nate in a singles environment exactly. We'll be right back with Scary and Brody. I almost feel bad bringing this up to the slices because they're gonna be dumbfounded. They're gonna be shocked and appalled, and also not shocked in a palled I'm gonna tell you something. I'm gonna let Scary tell you, and you're gonna think, how could he have done this? And then you're gonna think, yeah, I get how we did it because it's Scary. Right again, I'm gonna tell the story. It's it's an old story. You've all heard it. It's the Frog and the Scorpion. I've told it before on the podcast. I'm gonna tell it again. Frog is on the lily pad, and the scorpion comes over to the edge of the water. He says, hey, mister frog, can you give me a ride across the pond on your back? And the frog says, I'm not gonna do that. I'm not stupid. You're a scorpion, and you'll just sting me and you'll kill me. And the scorpion says, well, I wouldn't do that because if I killed you, I would drown. That would be foolish. And the frog says, that's a good point, and so the frogs is, get on my back, and the frog he puts the scorpion on his back, and they're halfway across the pond, and the scorpion stings the frog, and the frog says, why would you do that? Now we're both gonna die, And the scorpions says, oh, that's what I do. I'm a scorpion, So, not even thinking for a second about his own common sense or what's best for him, the scorpion does what a scorpion does, and he stung the frog and they both died. Scary is the scorpion, and Scary stung himself, even though he knew he shouldn't because that's what Scary does. That's who Scary is. You got to love him for it. Scary you couldn't do the podcast one day this week because your electrician was there. Yeah, multiple days, multiple days, correctly, yes, three days. And I thought, wow, you guys, I thought, I thought, Okay, he's got some wiring problems. They're taking the light fixtures down to paint under them, right, that wasn't the case. Well, I will say this, as I told you when I moved in, there have been some major drawbacks of this place, and there were things I discovered. Oh shit, I didn't think of that. Now I need to fix that, and that is I need. I need dimmable I need dimmable lights here. I don't like on off switches. I do not like them. I totally get that with a slider or something. I need stuff to go from zer I need. I need sometimes I need twenty in the morning when I get up in the morning and I'm gonna jump in the shower, I don't want harsh bathroom light on me, like like on like no. I in my old place, I had my old smart balls, my Phillip's q bubs where I'd be like and I call out to Sherry, I don't want to do it, or you know, I don't want I don't want to activate anybody's devices. Show put the bathroom lights on at twenty percent and it would go on at twenty percent. Now this apartment is not outfitted with those bulbs because no, they have LEDs. It's different scenario here. Everything is wired. So so I'm stuck with one light or zero percent light? So what do I do? Can I I con check for a moment? Yes, thank you, check for a moment. Two things Number one, when when Nate tells Alox to turn on the lights, he's convinced alexis hitting on him. Yes, yeah, and and Siri too as well. Yeah so yeah. Also, did you know that dimmable switches, by the way, my favorite alt rock band, uh Dimmable switches are available at home depot. You can just walk in. They're like uh eleven ninety nine. You can get ones where you hit them they pop, like I don't like to pop them. You get them a slider. I like a twisty knob. But anyway, that being said, my Lectrisen show, do I like to get a little twisty nob? That's forty bucks? I say side, I said, you got to do my entire apartment because I need I dim dimmable everything. I like to like to kind of roll the lights on, so to that, and then obviously all the outlet covers which my interior remember my interior designer, Lorena Lorena Lorena spend it. She she insisted that I go for the upgraded outlets with the screwless the screwless plates and also available at home depot and color coordinated. So if I have a if I have a black wall, I'm not a black wall. If I have a gray wall, I'm going to get the She wanted me to replace the gray receptacle sockets with the gray receptacle because everything was white and a gray cover plate. So the whole wall is gray. And now now the the plug the what do you call that? The socket fades into the wall, so or black where you can't get black for the red the blues and the reds the dark available at common for my room, which is closer to sand. Whatever grays for the bathroom because the bathroom is gray. So yeah, how many light switches and uh outlets do you think you have total in the apartment? Well, I mean I mean I've got we we had about maybe with the plugs with with those like about twenty seven twenty seven sockets. And but I have far less light switches than I do plugs, so let's call it hand you thing like forty total, No, twenty, No, that was total twenty seven, so I would say about ten. We had about ten light light switches. All the rest were plugs. Yeah, ten light switches, okay, but there's some of them were double gang. Some of them were triple gang. Yeah. Who doesn't love a good double gang somemore, you almost had the triple gang at the Soho house. Someone were Gucci gang gang Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, meaning like the three in a row, so yeah yeah. And did you go to home Depot for well, for the for the the receptacles in the sockets and the cover plates for the sockets. I did. I didn't. I did go to home details. Nope, to home Depot Home we went. All of my circuitry was done by home Depot right where they also sell cover plates schoolless Copah. Yeah, I got Home Depot, Home Depot all the way on the on on the no on the electricity on the on the and and what pray, tell what didn't you get at home Depot? I did not get the switches and the knobs from home depot and the cover the switches in the and just how many switches and knobs total? Ten? There is a man like you have ten? Ten? Ten? Ten switches and knobs? Uh huh oh right, very good. I know I know where. I know where you're going with. I know you from Brody you went, you went to Low's right, where'd you go? Where'd you go? Scary? For those that ten light covers? And because I know we talked about that boogie place and you're like, I don't need those. I wouldn't even spend that because those were like three hundred dollars apiece. So I'm just curious when you needed ten of them? Where'd you get yours? From Buster and Punch? I'm sorry what Buster and Punch? You? You broke down and you got three hundred dollars? Broke down? Got but estillation, scary? Johnes spent three thousand dollars on life. No, I did not. It was not that much. It was not three thousand. You are weak, you are spineless, and I have a song for you.

00:40:01
Speaker 2: Fat Foxcuy's got a decorator of his interior.

00:40:13
Speaker 1: Promotive is ulterior.

00:40:15
Speaker 2: Expend his money so he'll feel subperiors.

00:40:20
Speaker 1: Because he knows his.

00:40:21
Speaker 2: Heads off BIS posteriors.

00:40:23
Speaker 1: Fuster and punch ducks, all of live switch. Are you at tons?

00:40:30
Speaker 2: It must be nice to be that rich, faster and punch.

00:40:34
Speaker 1: The rest of us are in the wrong job on it here. Soon you will have leather doorknobs. Fuck you, manon, you will have leather doorknobs. No, because even though you said you won't get them, you're gonna fucking get them because you're weak. I am You're weak, alright. S w V. Sisters with voice means sisters with voices. Hey, I have an explain I have to explain myself here. Okay, how can you explain yourself? No? Okay. So one day, about a week and a half ago, we were I was Loraina was with me. We were shopping for a lot and and Nate took me to lunch and I had shopping for a fucking light light fixture for my room. Oh my god, which by the way, it's an African pendant and it's going to be amazing. It's on its way. Oh my god. Money, hold on, So we're there at the store and then she goes, oh, shees, look at that. They have Buster and punch here on premise. I said, oh my god, they have examples of a Buster and punch. I said, but I'm not getting nose. I'm going to get different ones. And she goes, we never found we never found a solution to that. You don't like the ones that go click click, click click, the regular ones. You don't want it like you you want like something that wasn't plastic. You wanted some something a little bit better. Let's just at least go take a look. So we walked to the back of the store and there it was installed in the wall. Buster and punch dimmers and switches, and I'm like, oh, this feels nice, this feels nice on my hands. Oh my god, this is awesome. So they looked so fucking great. They look like little Marshall amps, you know how like you know, we're in the radio industry and business. The switches are beautiful. They go up and down so nicely. It's just smooth like butter like like butta like. They nice and smooth and light go on or off. Is that it's in the closet anyway, that's the closet light you're behind, much like much like that guy from England exactly. So wait wait wait wait wait, well back up a second. You bought a three hundred dollar light switch that controls the light inside a closet. But because it's eye level and it's visible to everyone, see, see to everyone, the thing in the guests bedroom, the thing that the thing. People that are going to see it are people that are guests who should feel lucky to even be there. And everybody on camera. Every time I'm on this fucking camera, people gonna see that switch. We're not on a camera, right that switch it looks like a great dot on the wall. You can't see that switch. This is the camera angle in my fucking computer screen right now. I just taped three hundred dollar bills right there on the wall. Would it look better? So when I so listen, So when I when I felt, when I felt the feel of the switch, when I felt the knob, the knob turned, and how smooth it was. You feel did you feel the knob at the Soho House? And as I was feeling it, I was like, oh my god, there's there's a feeling of of lux to this it's a feeling of of beauty. It feels like a work of art. It feels great. So Lorena then turns to me and says, see, this is what I've been telling you about things that are that you can touch and feel every single day, and things that are gonna be in the periphery of people that came over your house or whatever. It's nice to have upgraded things. Now. I'm not arguing with you, she said, I'm not arguing with you about your outlets because you're never gonna unless you stick your fucking finger in the socket, like who cares? So those will do so. So so we made it. We made a compromise. Anything involving like plugin shit and things whatever is all home depot and everything, any any any trashy person can have those scary I mean, come on, and anything involving me turning a knob or turning and flipping a switch should be something a little bit more elevated. And I got to say, on the spot, right there in the store, I fell in love with Buster and punch, so so I splurged on my dimmers and my dimmers and switches. That's it, though, did not do anything else, just the dimmers and activated No, what are you talking about? These are old school. You didn't get voice activated swech. So there's a there's actually there's a there's a weight to the metal on these switches, these door knobs. Listen. I can't defend it other than I you know, what was the last time you bought a piece of jewelry that costs as much as you paid for the light switches for Robin? Every holiday? Every holiday? Yes, Robin, Robin is treated really well by me. Rob stuff. I know, I know, but I also you need to go okay before you go at me more. Next time you're here in my apartment, I want you to walk around and I want you to flip some switches. I want you to turn some knobs. I want you to feel the you feel the buster and punch and feel the buster and punch differently. Let me ask you a question. Listen, listen, I just want to you know. I'm not I'm not I'm not crazy and I'm not and I haven't been brainwashed. You're a little You have a problem. You do have a problem. What's my problem? Brodie? You can't say no. You can't say no to things. You can't say no when somebody says, you want the best thing here, it's boogie. You can have it. You buy it, I have I have no way. Listen, that's fine. I had your intention of buying the bustering bunch. You know I was already. I was like, I'm not doing lunch to seek what. You had no intention of stopping for lunch to see Kayden, but you did. You're malleable, You're pliable. You're like the clay and the movie Ghost. You just up. You're a vase. That's it up. You're an astray. Wow. Look, I I want you to have the finer thing scary. I want you to have. You have a beautiful apartment. You have a beautiful car, even though it's Brooklyn Gray. You have a beautiful girlfriend. You should have the best of everything. But you said no. She tried to get me. I'm not doing it. No. I know that's a god fault that it's a downfall. It is my achilles heel. It is yeah. And by the way, his heel is red because it's Lubaton. Anyway, Uh, if you were going to scaries apartment slices, would you touch the light switches? Because if there is fabulous as Scary says, how do you go home and turn the lights off in your own dump? How can I go to Scary's house and and flip his butter switches that are velvety smooth like the tip of that guy's penis at the soho And then you're more obsessed with him than I am. You keep talking about it, and he's on your mind because it's funny that guy's living red free in your head right now, Brodie better my head than it's all right? I forget it anyway, How am I gonna go home and flip a switch that goes? I feel like a paulper I feel like a homeless person, except I had light switch. You know what it is When you're flipping the switch, these types of switches and turning these knobs, I feel like I'm tuning in a radio or I feel like I'm flipping a switch or doing my job, because it's like almost like a night industry thing, like in this room, in this studio, you turned a dial on an actual radio in this studio. These these knobs, these it fits with the motif of what I'm doing in here. Anyway, they look like it. I can't really explain it. Slices. How many of us have a motif? Can we start there? Who has a motif? I didn't have one until I got it until nineteenth, my nineteen thirties farmhouse motif. I did not have a motif until I got a decorator in my life. And she said, you need a purpose, you need a motif. Every room needs a motif. This was her talking, not me. I don't know, I'm some fucking slub. Now she's got me like selling all my fucking furniture that I brought in here that's twenty years old that I'm happy with, and she's like, oh my god, this is rid of her. She's like, he's the devil. She's like, this has gotta go. I said, what are you meaning? No, I've had this fucking laugh for twenty years. She goes, that doesn't go in this room. She started throwing away my candles, gifts that I was giving by my sister. She's like, this doesn't belong on the coffee table. I said, what are you doing? She says, doesn't belong here and she moves it, and then she threw out a couple of candles from Yankee Candle. She goes, you do not want Yankee candle in your life? I said, why. She says they're toxic. You want Mets candle. They're toxic. I said, huh. She's yeah. Every time you burn these candles, there's all these fucking coxins out in the air. She says, you want these types of candy, you have an air purifier. She said, oh my god, Liam Liam Liam Doney, full voicemails about how candles on top. She hid all my you know, you know my my stone coasters, the ones that are drink coasters I bought. Uh. One has a Brooklyn Bridge print on it and they're stone. Yes, yes, she and she piled. She gathered them all up and she put them inside the bar unit area. I said, what's that? She goes, oh no, she goes. Those aren't you going to be your coasters for display? She goes, we need to buy do use some velvet coasters for your coffee table. She's the ones he wanted to display are gonna have to match your sofa And I'm like, I guess, uh, I don't know wan to be sofa king poor soon scary. Do you remember the old TV show w KRP in Cincinnati. Yeah, of course, that was like seventies radio in classic classic TV show about radio. There's one episode that always sticks out in my mind. Right less Nessman. Less less Nessman was an older gentleman, very nerdy. We're a bow tie, yeah, and he was very very unassuming, didn't spend a lot of money on clothing, in a very simple life. And he dated the dating woman who was very bougie, bust him around, wanted him to change the way dressed and away he acted and everything. And one of the things that everyone at the radio station knew about less Nessman, right, it was less Nestman, right, less yes, right. He put duct tape on the floor, some kind of tape round his desk with a little opening of the tape for his doorway, and he liked to pretend he had an office. Now everybody respected it. You had to walk up to his desk through the doorway where there was no tape. Is this a teachable moment? What's going on here? A teachable moment? Teachable moment? And at the end of the episode, the girlfriend, the young attractive girlfriend, sees his desk and says to the other people working at the radio station, because he's not there at the moment, what is this taper on Less's desk, and they say, he likes this tape. It means a lot to him. It makes him feel like he has his own office and we all respect it. And we only walk where the doorway is laid out with his no tape. Oh, that's the stupidest thing I ever heard in my life. That's ridiculous. And she rips up all the tape. She doesn't let him be happy. She says, that's I don't think that's that's sensible. That's stupid, and she rips the all the tape and as she's doing it, he walks in the room and he says, what are you doing this episode? It's for the best. I'm doing it for you, honey, and he says, get out, get out, and he throws her out. He breaks up with her because she was trying to shove her values of what's cool, what's important on a man who didn't want a fancy garbage pair like your father, who didn't want the fancy party. And this woman, Lorena is the woman from the TV show. She is ripping up your duct taped walls and having you put new walls up with bustern punch light switches she put away your Brooklyn coasters. You've got to get rid of this woman. She is costing you an ominal leg and removing your joy. What is that sparking joy? She is unsparking your joy. Get rid of her before she does what the used to do on the old remember the old fixed up shows. She's gonna put your seventy five inch ninety inch television whatever you have in a cabinet because she's gonna tell you it's too unattractive on the wall. Get her out. Get an exorcist and get that woman out of your life. She's a demon. Get her out. Okay, devil's advocate for a second. What if she starts hating your old radios on the shelf? Oh those radios? No, no, she loved She's like, no, she actually encouraged me to take my old boombox out and all my old radio. She goes, what's this? She goes, why is this sitting in a drawer? I said, I don't know. It's an old walkman from like the eighties. Look at this typewriter that my aunt Milly had from the nineteen fifties. She goes, this is fucking cool. This is what you do you got to so now all that stuff is on display. No, no, listen, She's done a lot of good things here in this place. But the thing is, I kind of part of me needs to let all right, Katy Perry needs to let her do. Part of me needs to let her do what she does. And she's this is what she does for a living, so she seems to know certain things. Now we've gotten into fights before on things, because these are there's a lot of non starters, right that I drew No, you said, no one bustering, but you drew the long let's be in all fairness. After seeing them in person, and again, she didn't leave me there. They happened to be in the store. And after I felt them and I saw them in person, I'm like, huh, I kind of like these. So I kind of came around. She didn't kind of put gun to my head saying you must buy Buster and bunch. That was That was a mean decision in the end. Okay, let me ask you another question. What if what if she says to you she points to something in your apartment and says, this is no good for you. You need to replace this, you need to get rid of this. Okay, And she she brings you someplace where there's a thirty year old beautiful blonde and she tells you to feel her and touch her. Stop it turn her on. Stop. And she says, get rid of Robin. No, this is better for you. I want you to have a punch of women. And and she says, Robin doesn't look good when you get two brunettes. I don't like two brunettes. I you should be able to blonde, for the record, for the you can't. Now Robin in a ca And then you touch the blood. She's smooth's silky, and she's velvety, and you're like, oh, brody, I had to get rid of Robin. This was smooth and soft in here. I touched it. It was You're not comparing apples and apples anymore. Now you've gone off the deep end, and now you've your whole argument is trash because she first of all her she loves Robin. Robin loves her. In fact, she's like trying to get me to get a rug for Robin's side of the bed. He goes, Robin needs some rug over here. She needs something and you don't have that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, a little little little runner for her side of the bed. She goes, why do you get to stand on a rug on your side? And Robin doesn't know. She's very different. She loves her. But my point is I photo on some things, like I said this, you can't you can't see it in this in the I didn't get the Robin rug yet. This cabinet right here, this is a silver cabinet that I fucking love and is very functional and has a lot of my CDs and everything in it. She fought me. She goes, that does not belong in your room. I said, yes, it does. I want it, I said, so. I said, I love this piece so much. You're gonna figure it out on how it's gonna work in the room with other things. And she just wants to be gone, no, no, no, She wanted me, you're getting that rug? Are you getting the rug from Craigan? And blush. She didn't even want me to have a TV in my living room. I'm like, you're crazy, bitch. And then she tried to make me get a forty eight TV. She's I was just a forty inch. I'm like, fuck you, I got a wall. It's one hundred and fifty inches long. I'm getting a big bad boy anyway, all right, we we we gotta take a break, can I can I take we take a breathere? Here? Is it? Okay? No, I don't want to. I don't know. I don't know. No. By the way, who sings crazy bitch buck? Cherry Bluckscherry is how I met? Yeah, I said, I said, jackal Buck. We're done? Moving on? We're not done? No, moving on? No, No, we have no we have other things to cover, Prody, we still have another break. What are you doing here? Anything we need to cover? We'll buy a gourmet deluxe cover from uh Finch and Schmetch. We've gone in way too long, Glar Boys podcast. We will be right back. I just felt like I got my ass handed to me for the last twenty minutes. I didn't feel like we're doing the Brooklyn Boys anymore. I feel like this is just a break. I've done it to soho. This is just a regular conversation between me and you, like during the day. Now, this is you talking to me on the phone right now, and it just so happens the slices are listening in on it. That's what this feels. That what isn't that what we do? Isn't that the whole podcast? I don't think so. I don't think we've ever done a segment like this where you just sit here and you just just try and teach me life lessons. Listen, there's nothing funny about this. Where's the comedy here? I am the voice of all the slices that wanted to reach through their phones and choke you because you said you drew the line. I can show you the line. You aren't gonna buy Buster and punch light switches three hundred dollars a light switch. They're cool, though, you're gonna be hooked to. Oh you don't mind, Oh my god, my elect the electricity. The fact that he's not correcting you're talking, he's not correcting me means they will. Four hundred twenty five twenty five year licensed electrician has done all the jobs, done all kinds of jobs as a city electrician. Electrician, he's done. He's done all kinds of jobs for all kinds of people, commercial grade everything. Yeah, and he said, oh my god, He's like, so here's what he did. So he's like, I don't really have experience with this brand. He goes I've seen some nice stuff before.

00:58:20
Speaker 2: This.

00:58:20
Speaker 1: This is this is quality. And as he's going through my apartment putting this shit in and installing it, he goes, oh, yeah, this is good. They know what they're doing here. Oh this is nice. By the end of the job, he told me, you son of a bitch. I said, what. He goes, I'm fucking gonna buy Buster and Punch now from an upgrade my house. This is an electrician talking. I said what I said, You've seen all kinds of shapes and sizes and all types of switches and dimmers in your life, and I said. He goes. This got me, man. He goes, this is another level. This is different. He goes, I fucking want this from my place. I said, dude, I said, you're gonna have a coronary if you see the price. Don't go online and see the price. Oh no, he's made obviously, he's making enough money that he can go buy him, he said to me. He goes. He goes, He goes, he was I know he was. I know he was. I looked it. I looked it up. He goes, I looked it up last night. He goes, I think I think I'm gonna do this for my house. He goes, fuck it, he goes, it's you only live once. They don't have any kids. By the way, Oh okay, so in Louis and Louis a buster and look I got another. It sold itself. Obviously, I'm not crazy to get any money out of it. You got nothing out of it. You paid a guy so much money that he can afford bustering punch light switches. That's how much you paid him. All right, Can we get off this topic. This is not relatable to anybody. Serious people people are suffering, can't even put food on the table, and we're talking about bougie light switches. This is not I don't know. I don't feel comfortable. I don't feel right about this. But just know and and just take here's a takeaway about you know once again, I mind everybody, and if you're new to the podcast, I do not have any I do not have any I do not have a wife, I don't have kids. I don't live with anybody. I never did, I don't, I don't, I don't. I don't know. So I you know I was able. You know, I'm a single guy. I live in a single type lifestyle. You know with a great girlfriend. I'm just yeah, awesome. I'm not rich by any stretch of the imagination. But and I don't spend Oh, I don't spend money on like like watches I don't own. I know, I don't want to buy you wanted to buy that ap watch that would be my first watch. I talked about this on this podcast. I don't own a watch, I know. I don't own jewelry. I don't own it. I'm Italian and I don't own one fucking gold chain, jewelry, jewelry. I don't have a jewelry box, jewelry, jewelry, jewelry, jewelry, no jewel ree it's not jewelry. I do not have any rings. I don't have any brains. I don't own any anything. I don't own a fucking watch, Okay, I don't. We've covered the watch thing. I've don't own any of it. Okay, I haven't bought a watch in twenty five years either. So how do you think I feel when I see like people with these frigging twenty thirty thousand dollars rollies on their arms, Like, oh my god, you know, and I care at all because you don't want it. You don't want one of those, right. The thing is I don't have that. I don't want it. It doesn't interest me. So if I'm gonna you carry pictures of your light switches on your phone so that when you're out at a club you can go hey, look, no, but like it's everyone has to have. Everyone has something that they dream about. A splurg women, ladies, I have your your couture, shit that you love, handbags and shoes, and I mean forget about it. I mean, listen, I don't I want you to be happy. I don't sneakers. I'm by having lunch. You're working very hard. My point of wear T shirts every day? What am I wearing right now? Fucking free T shirt was giving me probably bite right, But we also have that theory T shirt you pay one hundred dollars for its died Anyway, I don't have a problem with you live in Large. I'm happy for you large that you drew the line. You drew the line I went back on. I went back on my word. Yeah right, you you put your foot down on this podcast and said no, she's not doing it to me. I'm not getting the Buster and Douglas light switches. I'm not doing it, James, Buster Douglas light switches, that's right, Buster Point Dexter light switches. You said you weren't doing the Buster browns. All right, yeah, exactly. Can we move on down? Really, this is I wanted to tell you what happened to me at Walmart. So, about almost a year ago, scary I bought three three packs of Great T Shirts. Okay, because I forget out, I wear them the pickleball, just playing old T shirts. Great T Shirts, So they were on sale for four ninety nine for a three pack. I mean, you can't go wrong. They're scary, right, it was. I think I think there were FOURIGN Chain whatever it was. I think I paid like thirteen dollars for nine T shirts something like that, and I tried one on and it didn't fit. It just it was smaller than the sizing I'm accustomed to. I wear large T shirts. These felt like mediums. They just didn't fit right. Well. Walmart doesn't let you return things as easily as Amazon. Amazon. You just you know, you do a return, you get a bark, you get a QR code, you walk into one of the place that does returns. Boom done. Walmart. You gotta go back into a Walmart. And I don't unlike you, I mean, just like you scary. I don't go into Walmarts very often. I got occasionally I go into a Walmart, but I'm not there a lot, and I put them in my trunk and I forgot about it, so I don't know. Eleven months later, well past the the time you'd normally return the shirts, I bring them into Walmart. I'm like, I'm going to Walmart. They're in my trunk. I'm gonna go and return these shirts. I paid twelve dollars in change for roughly nine T shirts. So I go to the register and the guy looks at my uh, looks at the looks the shirts, and two of the bags aren't open and the other one's open. But you can see I didn't touch two of them, and one of my faulted. He goes and the roll with the shirts. I go, they don't fit. He said, you have your receipt. I said, no, I don't have the receipts been you know, it's been a long time since I purchased them, and I don't have the receipt. So whatever whatever they're they're on sale. Whatever they're worth. I'll take a store credit, no problem. He goes, all right, here you go, here's your card. Scary. He gave me back sixty six dollars for the T shirts. Oh my god. Apparently at one point they were twenty dollars and chant twenty dollars each for the three pack, and I got them on clearance I guess for four dollars and forty cents or whatever it was. But in the system they're back up to full price. So I said, that's not how much I paid. He goes, I'm sorry, sir, whatever their value is. Now, that's what you get. I can't give you any more than that. I told him it wasn't what I paid, and he goes, here you go. So I didn't, no dishonesty. I brought them back without their receipt. I paid twelve dollars in change. I got back sixty six dollars. So yay me. I'm now one fifth of the way to getting a bunch of Buster and punch light Switch. Good for you, good for me? So am I Am I wrong in that? Did I do something wrong? No? No, you didn't. On this case, you didn't. I don't have an argument with you. You're you're I don't know, Brody, what do you think? Well, what is it? The devil on your shoulder? What does the angel say? Well, i'll tell you what. Well, the devil told me, so he said. Originally, the guy said to me, why didn't you return these a year ago? You know we don't normally take them back after this long Yeah, so I said, I said, I bought them for my father and your father died long years ago. Yeah, but that's so, I said. You know how old people all, they forget things. So he just decided he didn't want them, and uh, he asked me to return them for him. It's the same shirts. I just I came up with a story as to why it took me eleven months to return them. I panicked, but he was giving me the money back anyway, So I'm still good, right, I feel like dirty about this? Yeah? I felt a little dirty too, Yeah, how I did need to give a story. No, and I felt in the moment where he's like, why didn't you return these eleven months ago? I thought he was gonna say, well, I can't give your refunds. I was like, oh, you're playing off, but you're also playing off of his emotions that oh, he's gonna feel bad for your dad, who doesn't exist, by the way, well he did exist. Well, I mean, but in the current context. Okay, okay, but but in my defense, so scary. I had nothing to do with the price I had. No, I didn't do I didn't. You know, I didn't. Uh, there's no bunds and noble angle here. I feel like you. No, I didn't. He's gonna take them back. He just asked me why I didn't return them. It's a guy my father's he forgot about them. I just I just came up with something quick off the top of my head. I wasn't like, I didn't walk in with a plan. I don't know. Uh. The Brooklyn in me is like, yeah, go you. I didn't break any roles. There was nothing on my receipt that said you can't return it after a month. I just made up a story. I felt pressure. I panicked, all right. I was gonna say, you didn't see UNDERRESSU doesn't say queen. Yeah, no, all right, So I'm fine. But anyway, so Walmart, thank you, Walmart for my sixty six dollars. Now I'm trying to think like what do I need at Walmart that's like sixty bucks so I can feel like I got it for free basically, or forty eight dollars I feel because I spend twelve on the shirts I got technically like forty four dollars free. But I haven't seen anything I like. Okay, but maybe I get a light switch. I mean, there's more. This is fascinating to me that all these places take this stuff back, you know, like even all the classic shirts. They're not They do not redesigned shirtsals. I don't know. And luckily it's summertime again when people are buying shorts leave shirts. So you could you get these birken Stocks I returned for me? I probably could. I bought them. I bought them from from from blooming deal Dale's a year ago, from my dad, and now I find out they don't fit, and I'm like, shit, now what Now he wants me to take them back because if I get him another size, but they don't make them a half sizes. They don't make them a half sizes. But I don't have the receipt at this point, it's definitely over a year old. I don't know what to do. Are they the same Are they the same price? I don't even know if I don't even know if they sell them anymore, this version of it, I don't know. First of all, if they still sell them, I can absolutely return them for you. Yeah, because yeah, absolutely, because I bought them. I bought them for uh, your father, and he passed away, so I gotta I got my god. I'll come up with something different. But if they still sell the shoes, I can get your money back. If you don't sell them, I'll sell them money Bay for you. Here's here's the stuff I don't like about this. This is why I don't like this type of When you start creating scenarios and making up stories, all fluffy stories to support your claim or to support your return that are not true, but still give you the outcome that you desire. So it's not that it's not it's the way you got there. It's the way you got from point A to B, not the fact that you should be able to arrive at point B from getting there from point A. But I got him as a birthday present and the person didn't give me the receipt, Well, who gave him to It's a lie? This is all whatever it is. I don't know. There's something unsavory, something in the milk and clean as they say, you know what, keep your birken stocks. No, but I got to get rid of them. I got I gotta get another size he wants. He doesn't want money back, He just wants a better size, as as it fits him. I don't know all right what size of the shoes. They're like elevens he's an eleven and a half. We find out, okay, stock, so he needs eleven and a half. So they don't have half size and they don't sell half sizes. Oh well, then you can bring it back. I don't have a receipt anyway. They're not gonna take it with I receipt. They have a thirty day policy. Ninety day policy the most. Here's what you could do. Go buy the shoes, bring back the other pair with the receipt from the first one, and bring back the second one with a cop with a copy of your credit card bill that shows you bo Oh my god, you really are a fucking scam artist. No, I'm not. I'm trying to figure out how to give you his shoes back. You paid for the shoes, You want your money back. Go buy a second pair, pretend the switch. Bloomingdale should just give your money back. They shouldn't listen if something's not seasonal any longer and they can't sell it, I totally get it. But if they're still selling the shoes for the same price, they just take the shoes back if they're unused. Yeah, all right, we're almost done here. But man, I didn't even talk about the Karen that we count all our brakes already. Yeah, breaks Saturday Night with Karen and and Jetski Bryan and the big showdown. They'd big confrontation we're talking about. By the way, remind me Phillies. Just Ronnie Philadelphia. All right? So all right, so so this will I guess be quick. We go to the West Village and you know, parking is at a premium in Manhattan as it is, and the West Village is even worse. And Brian drives a fucking giant truck. So Brian always insists on driving. So all of a sudden we pull up and it's about right near the restaurant we're going into. And it's me and jet Ski, Brian and Tall Darren and it's at the end of the street on the left hand side to one way street, left hand side end of the street, and then ten feet in front of us is a fire hydrant, and then there's about five feet and then the corner. So I'm like, look, you could sneak in right in back of the fire hydrant. Perfect. So he weasels into the spot, backs up as far as possible, and we get out of the truck and we start, you know, close the doors, and we start walking toward the restaurant, and all of a sudden comes fucking Karen with her walking her dog, and she's like, excuse, excuse me, you guys, And I'm like yeah. They're like, you guys, are you guys are gonna park there? And then you know, Brian immediately gets snippy and he goes, we just did. It's parking is done. It's over. And then he goes She's like, you can't park there. There's a fire hydrant there. And then he's like, well, what are you talking about. He goes, We're ten feet and then the then the fire hydrant, and then he's like She's like, no, no, it's fifteen feet. You're here in New York City fifteen feet. So Brian goes from the front of his truck and starts putting one foot in front of the other and showing that it was ten feet. He goes, we got ten feet here, and I said, look, I said, that's generous. I said that that whole gap there between your car and the fire hydrant. I said, people in New York City don't leave even half as much room. You could fit fucking another car here. I'm like, this is plenty of room. We're good, and she goes, oh yeah, she's You're not gonna be good after I take a picture of your car and send it in to the police because this I almost said the sea word right there. She she was like getting in our fucking face at nine o'clock at night on a Saturday when there's no parking and we were clearly ten had ten feet there in front of the hydrant. She's like, oh no, she was just taking pictures of the vehicle, the license plate, and then he and then Brian's like, okay, Karen, Karen, all right, Karen, you do you, Karen will do us. This woman had nothing better to do on a Saturday night than walk her dog and be the neighborhood watch and be social social justice warrior. On a Saturday night, and then being the neighborhood watch. He was the pump police, the pump police. Mind your own fucking business. I've knit Brody. If you if you would have seen this parking space, you'd have laughed, because it's a It was a legitimate parking space. She was just busting balls. Oh no, it's got to be fifteen feet in front of that hydrant. Fifteen you got ten feet. You're only ten feet, you know, you know, people don't people don't leave fucking six feet. We're lucky, you know what I'm saying. It was a spot, I said, I said that. I said, look, this is my buddy's drop of the police. What the Apartment of Transportation and the police. It's their job, not hers, It's not he's worried that a fire truck won't be able to get in. And I said she we said, you don't think the cops have bigger things to better things to do on a fucking Saturday night than to come around here. And I said, good like. I said, look, I said, my buddy parked here. We good I said, I'm I said, I said, we're willing to take that risk. You take your pictures. You submitted to the cops. We'll be ready, we'll we come, we'll come back if we take it, if we get a ticket, we rolled the dice. It's just an expensive parking space. And nice of me to be so cavalier with my friend's parking space. And I wasn't even driving. But then we went to have dinner. We came back. There was nothing wrong, move fine, no, no, no ticket on the car. She probably tried to call her friends at the cop at the police department. But can you imagine that having really, I mean, it's a Saturday night, you really want to bother the cops with that? I mean, And it wasn't like a fire truck couldn't get in there if it had to. In had plenty of room, and it was on the corner. It was butting up against the corner, so there was no cars anywhere in the vicinity in front of it. Look, I understand if you're like five feet away and you're worried that the fire department, the firemen won't have room to go around it. There is a fifteen foot law and if they want to enforce it, they will. It's rare that they give you a ticket for that. They won't as long as if you're like five feet. Yes, you said, well we win feet. We were willing to take our chances. Celine Dion, the huh, it's one hundred and fifteen dollars parking ticket if they if they don't toell, you're doing that, And one hundred and fifteen dollars to park is actually cheap of Manhattans. Oh exactly, bring it on. Yeah, Now, I I would have I would have had some choice words for her, especially since it wasn't my car and I wasn't paying the past Exactly what would you have told her? So to go fuck herself and go back to her cats. Go feed your cats, honey. I look, I understand the law, understand people will respect the law whatever, But I think that's you need to go. You need to leave. Out of line. Out of line, you're not you're not you're not blocking the fire truck from getting to the fire hydrant. Obviously you want to protect the people in your building and your own safety. I get that, but that's a bit. I'm gonna I'm the corn of cops and as before we get out of here, I need the Scambony jingle right here, because on on on, television caught on tape a blatant Major Scamboni from a Philadelphia Phillies fan. Scamboni, Now, this is something that I have wandered out loud previously and always thought it was a stupid thing. I believe it started. You don't have to correct me, but I believe it started in Wrigley Field in Chicago, when the opposing team would hit a home run, the fans would catch the ball and throw it back on the field. I saw this, Yeah, this is great. I'm glad you're bringing this. We don't want your stupid baseball and the outfield that would get it and throw it back in. I always found that weird for a couple of reasons. Number one, you're getting a ball that your pitcher threw, that your catcher threw, that was on the field for your team. The other team may have hit it, but they never touched the ball. Their bat touched the ball. And you don't have the ball now from the game that you caught. And once you leave, no one will ever remember you threw that ball back. If they bow you for two seconds for not throwing it back, big deal, your ball. You keep the ball. Nobody gives a ship a date. No one's going to think of you as a hero for the rest of your life. Just to the ball back. Okay, but if that's what you believe in, be a person of character and throw the ball back. Fine. New York Mets rookie Carson Benge, left handed hitter. Where's number three? I believe it's a home run to left field. Now, the odds of you catching a ball in anywhere in the ballpark if a home run is hit are thousands to one, because they could have hit any seat, anywhere in the outfield at any level. Thousands of people could have caught that ball. A Phillies fan catches the ball he's wearing the City connect hat. A Cubs fan was no, sir, Cubs started the trend. And this is in Philadelphia playing the Phillies last week. Okay that they show the ball going to the crowd, and about twenty five thirty seconds later, the ball comes flying out onto the field, like yeah, yeah, throw that ball back, Yeah, throw that ball back, Except for one problem. On national television and the nationally televised fucking primetime game it was either on Apple or Espano was on one of the national games. The kid reached into a bag, grabbed a different baseball and threw that back on the field. And I did him.

01:20:30
Speaker 2: Too.

01:20:30
Speaker 1: However, he premeditated. He brought an extra ball to the game on the million to one chance he'd catch a home run, and then went into the bag. And then only the people around him saw him do it, because he'd be like, snuck into the bag, right, And he got to the ball and he threw it out and everybody cheered him. Yeah, Philly's guy, throw that ball back, And he got the adulation of everyone in the stadium except caught on camera, he took a ball out of his bag and threw a different ball the ball. Not only didn't he have the conviction to throw the game ball back on the field, he faked it with another ball. And I don't know, I don't know how I feel. He's a Phillies fan, so I don't like, Well, he's a he's a fake. He's a fraud, for sure, he's a fraud. Yeah. But also because you throw the ball, go for it. Yeah, you throw the fucking ball back. But here's what I would not have thrown. I would not have thrown the ball back because it's a game ball and I want to get a game ball. I don't know if I would have taken a Now, if somebody handed me a fake ball, I would have been like, that makes sense. I would have thrown the ball back. But to bring your own ball in the bag by ob or maybe or maybe he brought a souvenir ball at the stadium like he was a Phillies ball. He bought it and he was like, oh, this will be great for my niece or whatever. And he's like, oh, I have that ball in the bag. Either way, he threw the ball back and acted like he'd I don't know, scared. It's just wrong. It's wrong, and I don't know. I wouldn't have thrown any ball back, but I he got credit for it. What would you have done, Scared. I wouldn't have thought of that. I'll tell you that. But I say, be a man and go ahead. If that tradition to put your money where your mouth is. He wanted the credit for it, which is brilliant. I don't know. I'm torn as well, but I'm actually I'm kind of on his side in this. It's just like, fucking why would I Why would I waste the game ball? I could bring this home and have right. But he was vows he was he was doing he was doing the like the way he's pulled everybody in the stadium. All right, yeah, Now, did you ever see the classic clip before we get out of here of the twelve or thirteen year old boy that catches a baseball along the sidelines, was a foul ball that bounces into the stands. He takes the ball, he looks at it, he switches balls, he hadnother ball with him. I don't know how. He turns around and hands the fake ball to a beautiful blonde girl behind him, who gives him a big hog and a kiss. If I remember correctly, he instantaneously switched the ball and turned around and gave the hot girl the ball. I might have seen this clip a while ago. It does sound you can google that. Yeah. So okay, so slices, leave us a quick talk back. Is the kid wrong? Is he wrong because he's a Phillies fan? Or would you have done the same thing and thrown a different ball back? Or what would you have done? All right, let us go. We're out of here until your weekend. Everybody, we'll back next week. Even those stays on, nickis we're here we're gonna try. We're gonna try. Boys. Boys,