#154: Do Me A Favor For a Friend Of a Friend Of a Friend

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Speaker 1: Start aft up, start Up, Brooklyn Boys, start up, Brooklyn Boys, start up. They're making noise, dat Up Up, Episode one fifty four of the Brooklyn Boys Podcast. We're making noise. We're back to start up, start up again. Yeah, we're starting up and we're the Brooklyn Brooklyn Boys in the house. Last time we're making noise. And by the way, noise is with n O I z is it? I like to think of it that way. That's kind of nineties, isn't it? Is it still like a thing? What does z Z do? People put zs on things? Words now? That And then we got that T shirt from our listener that said Brooklyn Boys, what is eight? Yeah, well that goes back to like the eighties, even with boys in the hood. Right, I thought that was nineties, which is what I was referencing. It might have been screaming right now. Maybe the is nineties. I don't know. It all is one big blur of a lifetime. Uh so, uh here we are again on a Wednesday night. Uh doing I like this little Boys in the Hood, very easy to research. Boom it is right? Yep? Okay? Can I can I speak? Uh? When we get a chance. I want to IMDb. Really okay, I mean why not? Is there every by the way, is there ever really a pattern or a talk about this? But you just reminded me because I looked it up. dB, by the way, one of the greatest websites ever. Uh Internet? Uh? International Movie Data right, International Movie Database right? It's international right anyway. Um, so you can look up any actor and see every film and TV show. I think it's Internet. But Internet right? Right? Internet right? Internet Movie Database right? Anyway? So do you know what the Mandela effect is, as in Nelson Mandela. Yes, I'd have to know what he was famous for first before understanding, well, no, it's okay, so then Nelson. The Mandela effect has nothing to do with Nelson Mandela's accomplishments as a civil rights leader. You really don't know what he's done. I knew he was somewhere in that field, but I don't want to know if he was a radio a doctor or no. No, no, no, I knew he was, but I knew what he stood for. I just didn't want to misquote him or misspeak on what he did. There's a common memory that millions of people share from a certain generation that vividly remember Nelson Mandela dying in prison in the eighties. The problem is he didn't, right now, Why do people think that he did, because people will say it, you'll hear it, and then you'll take it as fact and repeat it. And so a lot of these things happened before the Internet, a lot of them, but not all of them. So, for instance, Um, spell for breeze F E b R E easy. Okay, that's wrong, there's only one e. It's f it's uh, it's f A b R easy ea. So that's another Mandela if you google it. Now, why is that the Mandela effect? Was there something somewhere along the way. Yeah, it's F E b R easy. The thing is people think it's spelled with two ease, and then they'll swear it used to be spelled that way and now it's spelled the new way. Right. Okay, Again, never happened. I still want to know why they thought he died in prison in the eighties. Okay, So there's a there's a common I'm gonna ask you if you remember this movie Scary to prove my point. Um, do you remember a movie with the comedian Sinbad dressed up he played a character culcham no, okay. Millions of people swear when they were younger they saw the comedian Sinbad dressed up like a genie in a movie Colchasam. The problem is he never made that movie, never made a movie IMDb. Well, there was a movie which Shack called Kazam, right, okay, but people vividly in their minds will swear to you they saw the movie right, but there's no proof that ever existed. So about ten years ago, I think it was for Mad TV, Sindbad did a sketch. Well, he dressed up like a genie and pretended to be Shazam, so he made fun of the nous Nelson Mandela effect. So people people see that clip and they go, ah, it was a movie. They'll swear they used to own the videotape. They'll swear up and down because they truly in the Mandela effect. They in their minds it happened right. Let me see if I could find other examples over the fire. I still want to know why people thought that Nelson Mandela died in prison in the eighties, because somebody may have said, oh I heard he died. He was because in the eighties you didn't get news like wasn't twenty four hour news sources, that wasn't the Internet, so it was just a rumor that just blew it blew up, right, like you know the Rod Stewart hamster thing and the Gerbil things in the ass right at the all right, now, the dog sperm one was Rod Stewart, the gerbil was Richard gear Richard Gere. Apparently he put a shove the hamster up his ass? Right? Was that a but that was fake news? Right right? Well? Yeah, do you remember when Jiffy peanut butter was spelled j I F f y never because it wasn't okay, right, but people think it used to be called I'm gonna send you this page right here. Hold on, I'm gonna share this with Jiffy, but you mean Jeff peanut butter, right, but people could combined Jeff with Skippy, and they think it used to be called Jiffy. So if you google, uh common Mandela effect, so it is was named after this one rumor that was false, but it got named after that. Oh, let's call it the Mandel effect. So let me give you another one that's on here. I just sent you the link. Um, how do you spell looney tunes god l O O N E y t n s right. Right, But there are people that swear it used to be tunes cartoons, right, Um, people spell the baron steined bears wrong. Does Curious George have a tail? He does not? Right, because I had a stuffed Curious George doll that there are people that will swear he used to when they get rid of it, I get in their minds. So I just sent you a list of them. So the reason I'm the reason I'm bringing up them Indela effect. Remember it's a common shared memory. That's false, right, Okay. So I'm scrolling through TikTok and uh yep, and I'm in the for you as opposed to people I follow. So there's two there's two columns of swiping, the people you follow and the for you, and it for you is like, we think you'll like this. So I come across a video with a woman saying I was told there was no movie, and now look, here's the proof. There was a movie with uh Sindbad playing Shazam. But she was showing the clip from the sketch and people were saying I knew it. I knew it. So I said, here's the link to his I AMDB page. He was never in it. This is a sketch, it's a false memory. It's the Mendel effect. So I got into it all heated, all back and forth, arguing with someone that said, no, stupid. The Mandela effect is when you think something's fake, like the Fabrice thing, but it's true. And I said, no, that's the opposite. It's the fact that you thought it was true and it isn't. So they're like, well, you're you don't You obviously don't reading comprehension, because the Mandela effect is when you think something, you try to convince people something is false, but it isn't. We live in a world scary where fake stuff is real and real stuff is fake. No matter how much you prove something is not true. Uh, people don't care. It's believe what they already believe. I will tell you now that I think that it's impossible to pull off new Mandela effects on people because of the advent of the internet. Have you not put on the news this week? Have you? I mean, because you don't think Again, I'm not going to mention anything specifically, but thirty years from now, people are still gonna say what's in the news that they believe. Just like there are people let's say we didn't land on the moon. They'll swear, they'll swear the flag was waving. They'll swrink him down here. And I think I've mentioned this before. Here's why conspiracy theories don't work. Here's why the whole moon landing thing was faked. Let's say that you you take the premise that they went into a TV studio right and re enacted the moon landing and faked it right, m hm, how many people does it take to put on a TV show picks up an entire crew, like about ten fifteen people, okay, in nineteen sixty nine, how many people do you think it would take? Oh dozens, yeah, yeah, like yeah, maybe even close to a hundred. So now you're talking about professionals in NASA, military people, astronauts, and a hundred person TV crew. Let's say fifty, let's say fifty, and was probably about one person the beans, not one person in the in in in fifty years, many generations on their deathbed, no one had had no family, no one that could be threatened. You know, some guy who was a loner, never had any kids, wouldn't like sell the rights and go, hey, I got one day to live. I'm dying of cancer. It was fake. He is proof. You can't possibly keep that a secret. You can't. You can't have a conspiracy of that many people for fifty years and nobody spills the beans no matter what. Well, I'll tell you there's one thing that happened the other night that is uh, definitely real that some people who were questioning is fake you being one of them. Oh, the UFO was the video that I showed you of the Arizano Narrows Bridge, which is the bridge that connects Brooklyn to Staten Island or Brooklyn. It's in the second longest suspension bridge in America by one of the longest suspension bridges in the world. It's two and a half miles long. My girlfriend found a black and white video um a stationary camera from the bridge. The bridge was closed to vehicular traffic. That's not black and white. Well, it's it's that's gloom and doom. That's what it's black and white because it looks like black and white. I want The Verrizono Bridge is an amazing bridge and if you're under it, it's awesome if you want to look at the span. But the Golden Gate Bridge, which is not as long, I believe it's close, is a beautiful bridge. It's reddish orange. It has architecture in the towers. It connects beautiful land masses, Oakland at least the mountain part, and San Francisco. The a Arizono Bridge is grayish blue, mostly grayish, with no real awk texture, no design. It's just flat, big ends, big arches. We think it's a cool bridge, but so it looks gray all the time exactly. It's kind of like a grayish thing. It's a faded blue. And so my girlfriend finds this footage of from a camera on the bridge, taken allegedly on Monday, uh during the afternoon when the bridge was closed to traffic because of the high winds, because it's it's it was crazy winds and it was raining up there and everything. And you hear the sound of the bridge. I wish I had it with me, but it's the sound of it goes like almost people said, it sounds like Godzilla. And you see the bridge going up and down and up and down like the actual roadway here it is, this is it. It sounds like a fog horner. So she texted me, she goes, is this real? And my first thing is that ship's fake. So I started looking all over the place to see if I can disprove it. But then I find three sources that showed me that that was actual video from that day. This is a fucking frightening video. The Verrizano Bridge was up and going up and down and up and down. And then I give it to Brody and I'm like, Brody, look at this video we found and You're like, that ship's fake, and I'm like, no, I got it from reliable sources. I got a couple of different websites, and you were like, holy fuck, because it was that unbelievable. Now, I also now since that time I pull if you look at my Instagram at Scary Jones, you will see people that actually commented that said, oh my god, I was on this bridge and I felt nauseous. This is what was going on. This is an understatement, like there were people actually that were that were on the bridge. I can't even fathom thinking being on this thing. What would you they say? People were getting out of their cars and running back the other way and saying no, thank you and leaving their cars on the bridge. Other people try to turn around in their car in in in a in a three lanes going in one direction, going in this, going the opposite direction, in the same fucking lane, saying fuck it, I'm going head on here, I'm going backwards. Can you imagine that ship? It was frightening, frightening. This is when does this ever happened? Every time there's a storm and a bridge. Well, I've never seen it so extreme, maybe because I've never seen footage of an empty bridge like that going up and down and up and down and making those noises. But you know, I could later come to find that it is a suspension bridge, and the fact that it was doing all that and you were hearing that, and it was it's supposed to do that, it's completely healthy, and the fact the fact that if it wasn't doing that, the thing would fucking crumble by. It may be a bridge near you where you live, If you have a suspension bridge near you, and that's how they operate. I don't know if you've ever been on one where it just goes up and down. It up and down, but that's pretty dramatic. I've never seen anything quite like that. Did you know before they were destroyed the twin towers were designed to sway, Yes, they would. The top of the twin towers would sway up to twelve inches. It's any direction due to high wind. It's a lot. Twelve inches is quite a bit. That's what. That's what I've heard. I have no idea. Hey, how would your Thanksgiving Brodie? Uh? Not bad? I mean we did just the five of us in the family. You know, we went to visit my mom in the morning because she's not going to travel and she's not you know, one out of the house right now. And uh so we did that and then we came home, had a nice catered we we got went to a catering place that does you know, platters and stuff and got food. It was very nice. We had the usual traditionals, very good. How did the vegan daughter do well? We ordered we ordered vegan food for her, so she ate none of But she did. She ate none of what you ordered, like she doesn't even She had Brussels sprouts that didn't have butter on them, so it's fine. She made her own stuffing. She made a tofurkey or some kind of what does vegan stuffing look like, well it's just bread and vegetable broth instead of chicken broth. True, Oh right, right right, I I ate it a lot of a lot of substitutions that you can actually make work. Um, well, didn't you eat the cookies that were like vegan, sugar free, cob free, taste free. You couldn't believe it. They were great, they were vegan cookies, but they did the only thing they were missing was butter. And really you don't need it because you have other things. So I will say that Thanksgiving it was saved. It was saved. Um. It was saved by the beautiful weather in the northeast. It was it was sixty five degrees and sonny and up until the morning. Um, when we woke up. My my sister at that point was not coming with her family, said I'm staying. I'm sitting this one out. Uh. My brother and sister in law have or just had coronavirus and get it, got over it. And they're like, how you've escaped and he got it is amazing. And um, so me and my brother were gonna go see my mom and dad, my brother and I the two of us whatever and and and then on that morning, my mother was like, I think we could do this outside, and I said, you know what, it will be a first, but lets the eight outside. I said, let it's sixty five degrees. It's gonna be sixty five agrees today. Let's bring the tables and chairs up. Let's set a table outside. And then my mother said, if Jennifer decides she would do it, we'll do it. And then sure enough, my sister we call her up. Will you eat outside? If we eat outside, will you come yes? And so we had the family, immediate family. We didn't have extras. My brother was there, my brother, my sister in law because they were over it, my sister and my brother in law and all the kids. And it was the first time that the entire family because it was was together. Because how many kids were there? For three because last year at this time, my my nephew Jack was not was being born. He was in the hospital, you know, they were. My sister in love was in the hospital having him. For Thanksgiving. She had a turkey for Thanksgiving. You don't want to have a child for Thanksgiving unless you cook it enough. So how many of the three kids did you talk to and interact with. Well, Lucas is at that stage where he's you know, he does the eat and run. You know, he sits at the preface how old he is. The audience doesn't know. He's ten, okay, and he's like, he's got so he's gone to the age. He does want to talk. Sometimes he wants me to play roadblocks with him or one of his games, and then he's off to the races. He's like, all right, I'm done, Like, oh yeah, I remember that. I remember just doing the dining and dash when I was a kid, Like, okay, it's a little time with the tables possible. So he's like yeah. And then you know the other one, you know, doesn't talks. He's he's barely two, you know, the other one barely crawls or walks. He's not even one. So is he colloquy these colloquy kids? No, you know what well behaved. I will say that my my brother's dog, Butters, is always he's the star of the Show's that name from like a British things a TV show? Yeah, well, Butters is a character on South Park. Oh Butter is that Butter Butter? But Butters is a Bijon. No, he's no, he's not a Bijean butters is. No, he's a long, flat dog. Is it docks And he looks like like like a he looks like a cross between a beagle and a docks and yeah, dockson. Yeah, he's a docksin of sorts. So yeah, right, you do. That's right. And well I will tell you this. They eat everything. They're like vacuum cleaners. You know. The dog was sitting under the table. I will At one point I did have, you know, my hand down by my side as I was. As I was, I thought you're gonna say I was in your pants on the table, down my pants. I was sitting at the table and my right hand was just like relaxing down. All of a sudden, I just felt this wetness on my on my hand. I'm like, what this was down your pants exactly? The dog was licking started licking. My dog was down your pants fingers. Okay, the dog starts licking my fingers like he came up to me. It's like like ship and the poor dog doesn't realize you already licked your fingers. Right, Yeah, I've seen you eat. Yeah, speaking of Thanksgiving, last week's episode, episode one three, which we titled Crappy Thanksgiving. H Not only is our all time listened to episode, how is this possible? It doubled our all time listened to episode. And that's a big number, my unbelievable. Monday, the Elvis s Right Morning Show, our big show was off, and we had a normal amount of listens for a regular episode just on Monday, like one that like a rail amount of episodes for like a whole week, just on Monday. Well, so either everyone who normally listens to our show listen to that episode three times, or we got a lot of new listeners on Monday. So if you're a new listener and this is your second episode, first of all, well welcome back. Thank you for listening to a second one. But we would like you now to go after this episode, because you already invested, go back to episode zero and start your journey from the beginning. Yeah, we encourage people, Yeah, we incurge you to listen in order because we refer to a lot of things and we build on it like building blocks from the previous episodes, and our listeners follow along. They understand when like they make jokes about scary tron to ask his own day. Don't know what that means. If you don't know, why should I hate abe? Yeah? Or we good? These are all outside jokes that you would know. Have you gonna listen to all the episodes. I'm gonna reference we good when I do some listener d M. You didn't pull a week good? Did you know somebody else did? I'll we'll get to that later when we we do the listener stuff. But thank you for new listeners, thank you for our our steady slices, and thanks for giving us a second shot and coming back after hearing that consistently making the top twenty on the Heart Radio Top one hundred. I think we were well. We were I don't know we were. I don't know what number we were. Um, but we're doing really well. But after this episode on Monday, Uh, I have to imagine we're gonna have a nice solid result come Monday morning the six I had a nice solid result the day after Thanksgiving it feast. It was a wonderfully solid result. Um. Before we go further, and we're not gonna harp on it today. Today, we did want to just drop this in there that we are in the middle as we speak right now of our holiday sale. Um at the Brooklyn Boys website for the merch which is Brooklyn Boys dot Big Cartel dot com. That's Brooklyn Boys dot Big Cartel dot com. We do have the by any two items and you will get a free mask while supplies last. So who knows at the time of this listening if we've run out of supplies, but you yeah, by any two items there and then you can get a free and oh, we have new items. How do you not. We got to talk about those real quick. Okay, so we did. I think we mentioned it last. We did. Um, we may have to do a second order because so many sold over the holiday weekend. Yeah, and we wanted to let you know that we have to do them in in printings. I mean we have to. We learned a lot batches there, yeah, pressing, pressing, whatever you call them. So we we call the company that makes them and say, okay, go to the size, how many of each size? Do another batch? And then we pay them for that batch. And so the first batch is being printed now right now, which is why it's taking a couple extra days for delivery because we put them up scary and I couldn't wait, so we posted the pictures of the ugly holiday shirts and sweatshirts before they were even printed. It's the ugly holiday sweater Christmas sweater. Yeah. But there's also a T shirt version, yeah, the T shirt version, and and a and a sweater version in Brooklyn Boys colors. But they have they have again if you're a new listener, they have slogans on them that you will understand if you are a slice, which is what we call all long time, and that is a limited time. That is going to be a limited item of course, obviously. Um so we may do another suitable for Hanaka or Christmas or Quanza or whatever holiday because nondenominational Hannakah blue. So I'm gonna tell you this, Uh, if you're gonna order it, don't wait if you want it for the holidays, because we really have to get all those orders in and then we because we're gonna put it another another break for the holida the company shuts down for the holiday and then not gonna be printing more. And we don't want to get stuck with a whole bunch in January. So Brodie, I gotta I gotta hand it to you, you and your food, you and your people with your food. I gotta say, I went really find this hard to believe. Dude, I don't know what it is anymore. I don't know if I'm become Maybe I should just, you know, trade in my cross for a yamica because I love Jewish food more than than Italian food. Okay, I I don't know if you know this about me. I do know that about you, by the rest of all. Jewish food, by the way, a religion and a culture, yes, I know, yes, Italian food and nationality. Um, this is coming a surprise to the slices. I don't know if I ever mentioned on this podcast. I fucking hate pasta. I thought you were gonna say, you the Jewish girl, that's what it's I have I have in the past in my yeah, a couple. Yeah, you know, if I'm going all the way back the beginning of my time, yes, time. So uh so, I will say this. I don't like people like, look at me, weird that I don't like spaghetti. I fucking hat spaghetti. Yeah, you know, I will something about me. I will only eat pasta if it's filled with cheese and meat, if it's if it's surrounded by cheese and meat more like Muzadel Regatta and or Manicott. So yeah, I like the men and Laga Ravioli and maybe the Zi Yep Yep, or the z Boys because it's got the it's got like Regotta and and meat thrown chopped, meat thrown in that. I love everything else. Can suck a dick. By the way, for those of you not from me, Tri state Northeast region of the country, uh, Ricotta. Yeah, because it's just too plain, it's boring. It has never taken. You can put meat sauce onagat sauce on cheese, so I things. Yeah. But conversely, I've just had these cravings for Jewish appetizers like whitefish and sable and um, all the things that you you were a little hesitant about. I went back to that place, Saiddel's, the place with the dill. Again. If you don't even know what we're talking about, you got one. I met up with an old Brooklyn Jewish friend of mine, my buddy Bryan, and he was like, dude, he goes, he goes, We're going to something for some Jewish brunch. We want blintzes, we want potato, latkis, we want some noodle. Kogle I said, we got all that. Plus we're gonna have some white fish salad. We're gonna have and and and the look on Scottie b the Jewish guy in our big show his face to the other, the other jew the other he was like, he said to me, He's like, what's disgusting? Oh my god. And I'm like, don't you guys embrace your your culture. And Brodie, you're the same way. You're a little gay. You just said you don't like spaghetti. That's the top of the list. That is the top of the Italian list. You you you have, That's that's it. Well, you have won one requirement. No. Two. You have to like the Godfather movie and you have to like spaghetti. You like the Godfather this series, but but you don't like you don't like you have the stuff, dude, not like Godfather three cut It's it's a little different. Um. Oppacino was great though, yeah it was. The dog was great. Um. But but don't you think Bertie that you don't What is it about your culture and you and the way you viewed food in your own world. I don't explain it. By the way, the deal episode is one oh threepages. I'll explain some of it. So when you're a kid, you you sometimes uh learn what to like. You you start to um pick and choose what what you're interested in life. Okay, as a kid, at least for me in the generation when I was a kid, um mots. Again, we're losing a lot of non Jews on this thing. So I don't want to go too crazy. I don't have to go to people know mats of balls, all right, Okay, so mats of balls and brisket and corned beef, those are your standards, right. The other stuff like borshed and white fish and herring, those were what the older people ate, Like my grandfather ate that stuff, my uncle ate that stuff. So I associated with like, oh, the old Jews who came from Europe, like that was like old school Jew food. But it is because a lot of these places are years but they have old people. Old people like were the original candies. Like you make fun of them, like, okay, if you have one, you're like, oh, this is good, but in your mind you think of it as old people candy. Right, At some point old people were young, and they ate them as young people. True, I'm sure something we like is gonna disappear for the next generation, and they're gonna go look at look at my friend Brodie. He's still eating Rees's peanut then, because it's being branded as an old person food, but not because of the taste. I mean, if it was a shitty food, it never would have gained popularity to begin Also if it tasted dead. I had some older uncles when I was a kid, and I say older in my mind they were a hundred, right, But in retrospect they may have been sixty right back then or seventy. But to me they seemed like really old, old old world um and they used to slurp the food and eat it like and it looked awful, and only the old people eating it. So I just associated some of that stuff old old Jews. So why don't you rediscover your traditions. I can't get over that. Some of the things that that's stuck in my head, I can't get out of my head. So I eat the stuff that I'm comfortable with, but I don't eat dove. You had borshed, No, I've seen it. You've heard the term borshed belt. All those comedians played up in the bush belt and the skills, the cat skills. What that borshed belt? It's an old term. Well borshed is like, um, it's the juice from beats. It's it's like red juice, and people put sour cream in it. Potatoes and that was like a cheap meal in Europe, in Russia when my great grandparents, like that's a thing. But I would never rea borshed because old people used to eat it. It's like prunes. If you ate a prune, you might go it's not bad, but you associated prunes with old people who can't poop. Okay, good, fair enough. But I'm just saying there's gotta be a way. See now, me who was never in this world, coming from where I'm from, I'm just discovering this stuff as new and I'm like, that tastes great. I want some more. You have you didn't have great grand Now, there must have been something that your grandfather ate that you'd never yes, right, like tripe, Tripe, I knew it. I'm Italian, Like, well, what's the other one? Sweepbreads, sweetbreads, Yeah, the sweetbreads his calf brain, tripe. Please don't tweet me, Tripe. No, it's it's either intestines or the lining of a don't swee me. It depends on which. It depends on which culture is the Thoumus gland. It's a bunch of gross, like some people eat pigs feet. My neighbor growing up, uh so, I want to say when I was a kid, I want to say, they were in their fifties, right, So to me, that was all back then. Now it's quite sexy. Anyway, they would eat pigs so they would have like a big walk into the apartment because they had kids, and I, you know, I used to hang out with their daughter and in the giant pot, you all, what are you cooking? And it'd beat like big, like soft ball sized things. It was actual pigs feet right because there because because when people were all they had to like to eat the scraps right in Europe when they were they didn't have the money. But now they call it, they call it a delicacy, do you know they were At one time lobster was considered like the trash, and they gave it to the peasants because it was their bottom, their bottom feeders. They still look just why it's not kosher because Jews look at that as the cock roach in the sea. But but but look what, Look what time can do to something. You know, time you can you can marketing. Yeah, I mean great marketing. Yeah, I mean you know, you know, you know what was not selling very well because it doesn't sound like, okay, well, you know, it doesn't sound very appetizing as a fish, the Patagonian toothfish. Would you eat the Patagonian toothfish? Brody, I eat the Patagonian fish, but don't put the word tooth in it. Yeah, it's called the Patagonian toothfish. And the sales were horrible. And then one day somebody came around and said, we're going to change the name of that too. Chilean sea bass. Yeah, that is what I'm in. Guess what now, they're the most over fished fish. They love a price. They over priced and overfished. People love it. Oh my god, it's delegacy. Buttery goodness. What would you eat a blowfish? Blowfish? Um? I get something tells me the answer is going to be I eat one currently, but I'm gonna say no for the sake of this bit. But I'm guessing. What is a blowfish? It's a blowfish, It's it's a blows up and I'm want to say I wouldn't need it, right, but you try, you would try to send you no no, but it's actually called blowfish. But you name you go, oh no, I thought you. I thought that's that's you have to fancier name for something that I already eat. But I'm not saying you're trying to no no no, I mean I'm shouldn't other food. Um, but like for instance, horse, who decided we shouldn't need horse? I don't know. I don't know why is horse different than a cow. You're like, oh, I would never eat a horse. Eat cow, eat goat, eat sheep, eat lamb. Well they're saying, well, why do you eat squid? Here's here's I won't eat octopus? What that? Why that is? You know why people saying you shouldn't is because they say octopus are extremely smart and squid or not so, so they say that you not to get caught. That's what I said. Do you think the shark is thinking that that guy is a doctor. I'm not gonna bite his leg off. I'm telling you that I don't eat dolphin because they're cute and smart and helpful. Well that's exactly it. It's all it's all in the knowing, and I'm in the association of it. I'm sure that there's some animals we eat that are you know. I don't want to think about it. I just go to the supermarket. I don't think about right. But but yeah, but why we choose some over others? What his culture does different? Why why does some cultures worship cow cows? Right, I'm not saying it's good or bad. I just like I had that start. I don't want to know. I mean, I could google it well, but my point is I'm just throwing out the argument, like where would we be as meat eaters without cows? But there's cultures that are starving, and you know, but it brings us back to this the beginning, and that is that I feel. And I'm going right back to because I don't have a previous preconceived notion about your culture's old people food. I'm like, I'm like discovering it and be like, oh, this is so good. I gotta have you. You you you should talk to Gandhi because on our show, uh Who. By the way, just to reminder, if you're new here, she's the actual great granddaughter of Mahatma Gandhi great great granddaughter direct bloodline. I think it's great. It's her father's father's father's father, right, yeah, so true story. She might there might be Indian food she can't eat, but you eat it, go a, oh it's Indian Food's great. Where she might go, oh, god, my great grandparents that we're gonna we're gonna clean up our plate and use at the table. Next right after this, and Rody so I mentioned marketing. Marketing is everything, right, nat changing the name of a fish. Yeah, would you think if you don't know the story behind Greenland and Iceland or oh, that's a great story, the fact that Greenland is covered in ice and Iceland is covered in green. They they want in a word, they wanted people, They didn't They wanted to protect the lush greenery of Iceland. So they said, let's call this Iceland and called that Greenland. And everyone told they want the tourists to go over there, like fucking get out of here, go go to this other place while we could preserve our own land, right, they didn't want to let let onto the secret of what a beautiful place Iceland was, so they called it Iceland. Yeah, So speaking of speaking of Greenland. Um, this came up at at Thanksgiving dinner because I think we were talking about how Greenland is misnamed, right, and we were talking about how it was either this year or late last year. Everything is a blur. Actually, no, it was it was last year. At some point last year. Um our our president was talking about buying Greenland as a strategic opportunity for land and natural resources whatever and so um I I said, I don't think the the people of Greenland would be very happy about that. And I also made a comment about, you know, tourism, that they didn't want to name Greenland Iceland because no one would go there, right, and the locals probably like tourism. So my daughter said, well, how many people do you think live in Greenland? So I said, I don't know, a couple of million. I mean, Greenland is a massive land, it right, it's not comingly it's mainly ice, right, it's not a continent, but it's big. You have to figure this villages and some cities here. It's not very developed. No, So take a guess, scary not knowing how many people approximately do you think live in Greenland? Well, I'm going to take an educated guess, well, you know, I don't know. I'm I'm I'm guessing. I'm I'm guessing ten thousand people, ten thousand Wow, where to ruin a bit exactly because I know Baseball stadium that's like it's less than a regular and look at look at how much land mass it covers, like take on a map, right, But yeah, I'm sure if you drill that might be oil there, it might be or and minerals, and you know it might it's worth while, but those not rather good Iceland, Iceland, forget it. I'll go see the fucking uh what can you go see the northern lights in Iceland? That's where they are, Oh, in Recovact, but I try spelling that, by the way. So, speaking of marketing, we have to market our podcast right, like like anything. So we're always looking to see how our company is marketing our podcast. So I went today to the I Heart radio app, which is part of our company, Yes right, shout out shout. I looked at the main podcast page under comedy and comedy, and I don't know if you've ever if you ever watched the Emmy's of course, and if you watch the comedy section, there's always one of two real comedies. Actually, I'm what I'm gonna say is probably more for when there wasn't a hundred streaming services, back when it was mostly network television. They would put stuff in the comedy category that they had nowhere else to put it. So they'd be like, let's say Seinfeld, Friends and the Grammy Awards, or Ally McBeal or um any show that that's singing in it because they didn't there was no category for them, so they would put in comedy and make it comedy and variety. So comedy shows that like We're on for episodes like Friends, were competing against like a one hour special, right, because the the comedy gets dumped on. Comedy movies never win Best Picture, no matter how funny they are. Right, they never win Best Actor. They the best actor in a comedy, but the actor in the in the comedy. Sometimes acting in a comedy is harder than acting in a drama. I find most comedic actors, a lot of them can do serious acting, but not every serious actor can do comedy. That's just my opinion. Okay, okay, fair enough. So I'm looking at our comedy department comedy section of our Art Radio podcast I see where you're going. There's a murder mystery podcast in now, there's a pop culture podcast in there, and there are two podcasts. One the sex one you like to promote. That's comedy. That's comedy. No, it's not. You're meant to be comedy. It's so funny, it's so stop it, stop it, stop it. Don't tell me. And the spinoff of her former co host is also in their under comedy. Agreed, they're not comedy. That's what we compete against. We are now in the same comedy category as the sex podcast that Scary likes. Yeah, but it's it's it's more sex and comedy. I like sex and okay, so, but it's more sex. Talk doesn't matter. But the way they talk about sex is where the comedy. Occasionally it's amusing, but most of the time it's it's it's it's titilating, it's sexual. It's not supposed funny all the time. Yeah, okay, So, anyway, did you have something you want to get to because I wanted to tell the story of talk about marketing. So I want to finish the marketing thing. There's more about marketing. So I emailed our friend Rob at I heart media, and I said, yo, Rob, why are we twentieth in our own company's podcast section. We're down below the murder podcast in the comedy section. So we are now bumped up. We are number seven in the comedy section. I got that done for us biggest episode ever. We're on a roll. Baby, let's get that bumped up. He looked at our numbers. He's like, absolutely, we are now number seven in the comedy section. So shout out to me. Where are we in the general interest section? Who nobody likes it? What about educational? This is so far the past thirty minutes is very uh yes, it has very knowledgeable at least my free dessert knowledge should be in the edge. Like, by the way, I have a bunch of free dessert stories. Um, and I have a Jimmy found thing. I want to talk about about self. Yes, well that's when you when you try to ask you. I tried to help myself my d By the way, if you don't know what we're talking about, this is all right. So on that note, videos are favors because I know you can just you just mentioned a couple of things. Just go just talk about one of them. Well, let's talk about okay, So have you ever seen people who do this on Facebook or on social media? They want anyone available, anyone reading the tweet or the post, to answer the question. So though, right, does anyone have a blank? Or has anyone seen this movie? Right? I feel like, correctly you should just write have you seen this movie? Because you're directing it at the person reading it at that moment. Because if you're write has anyone seen this movie? I'm gonna write, yes, somebody has. All right, Well, you're being a little too particular, of course, I am that you're you're being a nitpick. But like when I tweet Dick, hey, are you a mechanic? Because I know if you're a mechanic, you'll either because the answer is yes or no. But if I write is anyone out there a mechanic? The correct answer is yeah. I don't think that's a real problem. I don't think, okay, But a bigger problem is when people say ask me anything time, and they right, and then they'll they won't answer the fucking questions, and they'll post like snarky answers to legitimate questions that they receive. What they mean is ask me anything. I feel like asking that won't upset me too much. No, you just opened yourself up to question answer session. Let's do it. And then they have rather than just ignore the ones they don't want to answer, they'll post the one that and they'll give like a smart ask answer. I'm like, well, what's the point of question answer time? Right right? You're right, Um, I have a problem right now. Because we're in the pandemic, people are taking advantage of everyone. But I'm having this problem, so I'm speaking firsthand. I'm sure it's happening to you. It's happening to me, and I think it's happening to people that are not in our industry because because we're not seeing everyone now, there are times you wouldn't see relatives and friends. Right, but for that birthday? What would you do? You said a birthday, called, you posted a Facebook page, Hey, happy birthday, and you're done. Well, everyone is now discovering technology. I guess everyone wants a fucking video. Hey, it's your cousin's husband's third roommate from college's birthday. Can you just record something? I'm putting together a montage. Okay, I'll do that. Hey, I got another one. I got you got a new job. We're putting it in a montage for his new job. Okay, hey, it's so and so's birthday. We're all we can't get it. Somebody at work with greeting please did greeting video greeting Huga. By the way, Brody, I'll tell you right now that is that's why I put myself on cameo and put myself behind a pay wall. So now people have to pay fifty for it because no, because it's got the the the amount. Yeah, no, I understand the amount. The amount of requests. I've gotten out of control. So I'm like, all right, so now, and I don't want to be a dick, but I can't. I can't accommodate all these requests. So I'm like, all right, you know, to find me on cameo and uh, if you wanted that bad, you'll pay. I know it's it's a thing. I'm thinking about removing myself from cameo. Believe it or not, I just don't. I don't know. I think no, no, no, no, I'm gonna be honest. This is a this is a good time for holiday presents. People want to like, oh yeah, but I'm not here trying to make money. I'm not trying to make money off people, but I just maybe why that's why my rates much lower than yours. But I'm not talking about listeners. I love listeners. I do what I can for them. I'm talking about friends and family, co workers, everybody wants to everybody. What's A friend of mine was like, oh, can you record something from my um for my my YouTube channel from my next episode. I'm like, yeah, all right, no problem. So I sent a bunch of stuff and he writes back, goes, yeah, could you tweak it? They're asking you for re edits? Well because that now, listen, I love I love the guy, and I'm talking about he wanted revision because he didn't know I love him. So I'm saying this in good fun. So I said, well the concept, what's the You wanted me to do something comedic, right, So we used to do a bit on stage. You know that David let Himan top ten list? Yes, okay, so we used to do a bit on stage. We would do a live top five list, so like let him in, We do, like top ten reasons why you shouldn't go to a racetrack trunk and then they would go number nine number eight to count them down right, So the audience would give us a topic, and immediately we would stand in a row of five straight across. The fifth place guy would go number five and he would really give a reason like funny, hopefully right, and the number one person would have four people to stall and think of something right. But if the person who's number three used your joke, you will fucked because it's all it's all improv. You're improving a live top five list. So my friend says to me, hey, can you record a bunch of one liners? Here's the topic? I said, anything else I need to know? No, it's from my channel. Okay, great. So I did it and i'm one of the things I wrote was something about like because your asses glazed or something. So you wrote back he was, Oh, it's hilarious, but I'm trying to keep it pg thirteen, So could you redo it and say? But I'm like so, I'm like, well, dude, why didn't you tell me? Was Pg? Thirteen before I recorded it? MC I'm a comedy guy. Like, we used to work in comedy clubs. We have filthy, we were in a comedy group together. Now I don't mind doing it he's the thing, give me instructions ahead of time. I don't mind doing it for him again. I love the man. He's he's a twenty five year old friend for twenty five years. Whatever. I love him. I'm doinning for him. But what he doesn't know is four other people are waiting on videos right and I have a house full of people, So I gotta do it out on my deck when it's quiet, when it's last night I went out to do it. It was windy, so it was like I couldn't do the video, so I do it in the house. So I had ten minutes to do a video, and he's like, could do it again? My favorite is my favorite reason for doing it again is oh you you shot it straight up and down? Can you give it to me again? In landscape? Like no, I'm like fuck you again with tell me you want it horizontal? Somebody, somebody just asked you and me, I know for a fact, to do a video. So the first thing I said to that person was do you want it vertical or horizontal? And what did they say? Because I don't know the answer to this question. Well, they didn't get back to me for like seven days, for a week, so I wrote them again. I'm like, hey, man, uh horizontal vertical? He goes, oh my god, so sorry horizontal. I said, that's good because you know most people, right, because that's w what a button is on Snapchat and Instagram, and it's verticalbody's vertical, world TikTok vertical, but quality horizon horizontal, right, So it's horizontal. So I didn't want to do the video. So last night when I was filming, I'm like, oh, I can't do the video. Isn't do it and I don't want to do it. Twice I was one matter, take might be the wrong way. By the way, when people are trying specifically to get their clips on the news, if they see news happening, why do they Why do they shoot straight up and down when they know that the TV screen easier because they just because they're holding it up. Yeah. But if you're thinking already that they think, oh my god, I want to send us into Channel six, they should have. They should know right away, I gotta I gotta film this horizontal so it looks good. So they're filming someone being murdered, you know that you want them to think what what filter would be good on this no, just just very basic. Just hold it like the TV set. Hold it like a TV set, not straight up and down right, just at the foresight. Yeah, if it's not an emergency situation, Hey, you assaulting that woman? Hold on one second, I want to see if I want to use night moode or not. Uh, let me put it on front. You know what I'll do. I'll put it on front facing camera and this way I can be in the shot. Then I'll turn around so it's behind me from the scene, right, you know what? I what? I what? I don't you know? It would be would be great if people had a piece of paper with their name on it and they could hold it up in front of the camera as they're filming a crime scene so it says filmed by or they just they should put their name on the video before they send it in because otherwise, once it's sent in, you never get credit for it, right you. No one's ever gonna be like, oh, there was, I mean obviously there was very famous footage this year of some horrific incidences. Yes, there was. It will be played forever and you don't get you You're done. I don't even know if you got paid for it. I I don't know if like when you send in a history I mean a a country changing video, like filming yourself on a skateboard with some motion spray to flee. That guy made a lot of money off from motion sprea and he used to play ocean spray. Um. But I don't know if, like when you film a crime something noteworthy, if they pay you like any kind of money, and and and you don't want to call him and go, hey, I've got footage of that awful thing that happened. Give me ten thousand dollars. You don't be that guy. But they should throw a hundred bucks some something because they're making a fortune off of it. Free dessert, maybe chicken palm on the arm. Oh, chicken palma. I could use some chicken palm on the arm. Speaking of which you can get some because you could join me for the jingle Ball watch party next week. Yeah. Well, as explained in a previous episode, I was all into it when I was getting paid. Well, now it's official. Uh, it's happening at lands to the commercials come on? Well, I can tell you. I can tell everybody if they want, I can invite the slices if we want, but I won't be there, so what you can come? It's it's it's open to the public. Split the feet with me. It's a uh, it's it's it's it's a dinner. Just just reserve, reserve a table. It's a seed event outdoor in a ten We're all gonna be watching I Heart jingle Ball wherever you love jingle and it's uh, you know. And Melissa Gorga from the Real Housewives of New jersey'll be there instead of taking the place Stephen Brody. She took my spot. She already posted about She already posted about it last night. I had that spot for a good seven hours. And I'll be there as well. Yes, um, you mentioned jingle Ball. Yeah. Calandra tian villiags in please by the way, is coming, by the way. The food is The food is excellent. I will tell I love and the pastries. The pastries, Oh my god. You know. And you're coming or not You're gonna. I don't know what I'm doing Friday. What is this Friday? It's no, it's next Thursday, Thursday. It's a Thursday night. What do you doing see on Friday and Saturday? No, you're busy, your party problem with Thursdays here. No, no, you know I do two jobs for our company, right, yeah, I write for the comedy So you're gonna be hungry when you're done, right, But I worked for the comedy department till about eight o'clock. Ondras, we'll figure out stop it. I'm gonna make it. The jingle in the second No, you mentioned it's jingle Ball night, right, so well you know we're watching jingle Ball that the whole point is to watch it, right, I know, But it's not gonna be at Madison Square Garden. And I look, there are twelve jingle balls and they're all over the country, so you might be listening if you live in Philly, there's a key or two jingle a normal year, they would be live concert events in your city around the country. Well, we go to a few of them. We go to why one hundred in Miami, we go to the Philadelphia Q one O two one, but we are our home city is New York. We go to the one of Madison Square Garden. So my daughter is pissed. I'm one of my daughters, my middle one. We just explained to people that this year it's only first it's one it's prerecorded and it's gonna be on TV. That's it, right. So my daughter was like, oh, because she didn't go last year, it's like I was gonna go this year because she loves Harry Styles. So I said, well there's no show. Well, I'm pissed because I would have gone and I would have gotten to meet him and the whole thing. So then she says, well, when is he filming his section for the show? I want to go to the filming. I said, I don't know. Now. I assumed they might fly in all the artists and have them film at the Heart Radio Eater. They did that for the Radio Music Festival by the way, where they they did it where the podcast awards were where we didn't win, right Memories Right, we came in second, So I thought maybe they would be flying them in. So I was like, oh, if they have a thing, there's any kind of audience limited as it is, what did you find out during your investigation? I found out that there everyone's just filming in their homes, and so my daughter's will then get me into his house. I'm like, okay, yeah, I don't have that kind of juice. I get in Harry Styles's house. But it reminded me of two things. My boss, our boss Mark, who runs the radio station here in New York because he one hundred every year. He's the guy in charge of backstage passes and passes to the private um invite only free food area of Madison Square Garden that the Delta Lounge sponsored by Delta Airlines, not a sponsor for us. So every year I say, listen, I'm bringing four kids, four people rather five people three people, and patting a pass is pulling teeth, right. But he hooks me up because I'm a veteran, I'm on the show, and uh, I don't ask for a lot during the course of the the year, and he always gets me passes from my family. Usually it's three or four. So this four three four Pete Puma Looney Tones class that's t U n S. That's right anyway, UH make it a little lumps right now, you're going, that's a dead on Pete Puma. Yeah, okay, So, um, if you know which cartoon we're talking about, you know Pete Puma. So there's one episode, right, it's a Hannah Barbara. It's one episode and um bugs bu how many lump in the coffee right in the coffee to make it three, right, and he's got three or four on his head right. I'm sorry? Wow, how fucking old are we continue? The only, the only, the only minimal character that I like more than Pete Puma is um uh. And I didn't even know his name as a kid, but when they started selling dolls they gave him a name. Gossamer. You got me on that one. Gossamer was the creature in the science lab where bugs Bunny broke the ether and he said everything was in slow motion. Come back. The doctor was like, come back here, you rab and uh. Bugs Bunny doesn't want the monster to attack him, so he pretends to be giving him a manicure and a hairstyle. Is interesting? Monster should want such an interesting hair do? Yeah? That one? Okay, that's that's Gossamer. But nobody knew who's Gossamer when we were kids. He was just the orange hairy monster. Anyway. So back to jingle Ball, So Mark emails when he goes, hey, good news this year, I can get you as many Delta Lounge passes as you want. Mike. That's hilarious. There's no Delta lounges year we're all watching from all or Calandraw's right, calandraws, which calandris I said, collandraws. But it reminded me that no one's gonna ask me for absurd favors this year, because we were talking about this before we started recording today. It's one thing when friends and family want a favor, I'll do whatever I can for my friends and family. Hey, can you get me Jingle Bowl tickets? Can you? Now? Look, we don't get free Jingle Bowl tickets, right, but we can sometimes buy like four for our family sometimes depending on where they sell it, right, if they sell out, we can't buy them. But sometimes we can do like, oh, we have a few, you can we have some off you If you wan't, we have some left over. They're not great seats whatever I can buy four, so sometimes people, so I have to use those four for like the top request I get, right, like if my first cousin wants to take her kids, or my wife's best friend wants to take her like family friends, like the top of the line. People want those four tickets, And I don't need people the closest to you that you are the biggest favors to like high high priority stuff, right, so I'll get people going, hey, um my, uh, a woman I teach with I would like to get tickets. Can you hook her up? Hey? I got a my cousin in Long Island. She's got a kid who would love to Now that I think about this, we spoke about this last year on this podcast around jingle Ball time when we were going through this this year, My point is, my point is I don't mind all the favors as much like when my my cousins who I love, say can you get me tickets? And you know what, I do love when they live like I have cousins who live in Philly when they want Q one or two jingle Ball tickets, I'm all about it because they're the only ones asking me from as far as my family goes, it's just them. So I can do that. I can get four there, right, and they get to four. They're easy, right, love them that they're easy. But it's when people want for their friends, friends friends, they think we can just get a limited tickets. So my problem is not the people that want for themselves. If they're like, listen, I know we're not best friends, but if you could just keep me in mind. But it's when they want it for somebody else, I'll do it. I'll do a favor for yes, well, i'll do a favor for somebody that's close to me, for them if it involves them. But once they it's two people removed where they are trying to hook, they're trying to look good in someone else's eyes. But I don't know that person from a fucking hole in the wall. You I'm not gonna do that for two people removed. And this just happened to me, Brody, not with jingle ball tickets. It happened to me with a restaurant, an Italian restaurant that I happen to know the owner of and someone at work in the sales department, and it's an impossible reservation in this restaurant. And she'say, oh yeah, she's I really want to go um And I'm thinking, oh, maybe she wants to go with her boyfriend? Right, you could? Could you get me a restaurant reservation? I'm like, yeah, okay, let me see what I can do. And then and then dot dot dot, And this is having your best friend. This is a co worker, a co worker that i'll just say coworker, on the sales team and I'm assuming, I'm assuming she wants to go with her boyfriend. I'm like, okay, great, no problem. And then she goes she goes on to say, yeah, it's for my roommate. What like, I don't know your fucking roommate barely friends with this woman. No, no, no, no no, I'm not hooking you up with a restaurant reservation just so your your your roommate can go. It's I'm not pulling a favor. I'm not. And then you know, the worst thing is you never get to thank you. No, no, no, they'll get to thank you. Right, You'll get the ah, my friend at a great time, thanks again, right the the the peripheral, you'll get an email. Maybe maybe that's you can't do that. You can't ask for favors for for for somebody your barely friend, Like well, what would you even call that? A stacked favor? A favor that's like you know what it is? That because someone sent me a chart and how to like figure out your cousins. I knew how to do this, but they're they're my second cousin and they sent this to me. How don't know, Like, what's a cousin, first cousin once removed, or a second cousin. What the difference is, This is a friend, this is a second cause is and once removed, So this person is a second friend once removed, so it's it's not even someone who are close friends with. So it's a second or third friend like a third cousin and then once removed, meaning a generation off. So like your your first cousin once removed means that you are a generation away from them. Being your first cousin might as well be a stranger I walked past in an airport, wouldn't know them from a hol You gotta, I would say, for a favor like that, you gotta be at at at the very least a second cousin in terms of friendship, like a second level friend, but no removed. You could maybe do a favor for a first cousin once removed, if like if like, if it was me, Scar, if I told you I needed you to hook up my my closest relative or my best friend, you would consider it. Consider yes, But I'm not going to take an acquaintance un already a week that's all over your week link. I'm not gonna make it with the link just gets weaker from this, right, my my other, my other best friend is once removed. But I'm I'm I'd like to think you and I are top level, right, So if I asked you a favor, and I don't ever ask you, don't always assume that we're talking. No, I know, do a show, nderstand Most co host don't even talk to each other. By the way, speaking of that, and I have a good friend, I was just gonna make it. I was gonna say, like, like my brother, if my brother's boss, right, my brother's a strong bond. It's my brother, my blood. And if him and it's and it's my boss, I would highly consider it, right because because it's important to your brother who you love, and you want to do right by that. As you were saying, I was saying, I don't know. So we're talking about co hosts, right, So, um, you and I know many radio shows where the co hosts hate each other or shows that that went down in history or someone went down in flames and the coast co hosts hate each other. Right now, nobody on the ELM Straight Morning Show hated each other. So I'm not doing like, oh here they comes talking about a show. A friend of mine used to work on a show in New York, very popular. Two guys who loved each other for the first couple of years and then each other for thirty years after and they don't even talk anymore. But you didn't know as a listener because they were really good at it. So we're not when they started hating each other on air, Yeah, I asked about that and I was told, oh, no, no, no, this has been going on for ten years. It just got to the point where they couldn't hide it anymore. I know a couple of they were all hunky dory. A couple of different radio duos were like that. And I'm thinking of a second second duo. I'm thinking of two duos, dose duos. But you know, it would be hard for our show to fake fake relationships and fakehips like we don't on No. But not only that, but we are we are so real and so transparent, and so you know who we are on the air as we are off the air, that we wear emotional our emotions on our sleeve, so you would just know if it was fake, you know, so we can't be fake. I think if it was real, hatred on our show, you would know it and people will go, oh, did you did you like that person that left the show to everybody hate them? No, No, there's no gossip on our show like that. But there's other shows. Yes, um, we got to take a break, all right. But then we go okay, yeah that's fine, Yeah, what's coming up? No? Why should we? I mean people could just might be on I might be on Fallon tonight. Well not me, but my material. No, I'm saying people could just skip thirty, skip thirty, skip thirty, and then they'll just no, don't skip thirty. We have we gotta pay the bills. These people are important sponsors. Brodie maybe on fon tonight, not me. So every What's today? Today's Wednesday? Every week, Jimmy Fallon challenges his audience to um to come up with hashtag. I'll put out a hashtag, and I'll say, give us your best answers or comedy responses to this hashtag, right, and so it's always a trending topic. He'll always be like, oh, it's a trending topic in the country. And then they read their favorite ones. I imagine they pull some random ones they like because they probably get like twenty thousand suggestions, and they don't read all twenty thousand, right, they read like six. Yeah. So every once in a while I'll attempt it, but I don't have the time to do it, and I like to focus my attention on our show when it comes to comedy writing. But last night I was watching Fallon Live and he threw one out there, and I'm like, you know what, that's right up my alley. And so the hashtag was, and you guys can look it up. Add a word ruin a Christmas song. So you take the title of a traditional Christmas song, a popular Christmas song and add a word anywhere in the title and ruin it by changing the title. So I sent in, I went on. I was on a role last night. I just kept sending him in. So people who don't know about hashtags will comment and they'll like, write me one at me. They'll send me one like I'm like, it's my thing, and I go, it's not my thing, it's Jimmy Fallon. That's why my tweet has at Jimmy Fallon. At Fallon. Examples will be like we three burger kings, Yes, that's excellent, or jingle bell rock ball like if you did we right, you did, like we three Latin Kings. That's probably a little less of a jingle balls a Christmas Eve song. By the way, shout out to the Latin Kings. Nothing beloved, nothing but respect. Just saying burger king is not ruining the song. It's kind of making it fun. Latin king is more like making it like tough, you know, like you know, no offense. Led Kings love you baby. It's covid outside No, because you're changing a word. It's not change a word, it's a right. So it's adding the word covid. Well, I see what you're saying. No, So here's like some of the ones I did. There's no place like home quarantine for the holidays, that the twelve days of Christmas guests because they never leave. Okay, uh, the most wonderful time of the year. Right, it's no good time. I'll be home schooled for Christmas. Ah see that's great. But you changed home to home home school. Yeah it's home school. Yeah, you're right, Okay, great, So I didn't do a rhyme. It's not like you're changing I understand. Carol of the Hell's Bells, which is an a c d C Song. I did Carol O'Connor of the Bells who played Archie Bunker. I did Alex Winter Wonderland because Alex Winter was on last night from Bill and Ted's excellent adventure Santa Claus is Coming to Jonestown. That Jonestown is where the when you the expression don't drink the kool aid, that's where I would drink kolid and hundreds of people died. Uh, Now I did? I did. I want to save the last one for last, because the the Twitter account of at fallon tonight I looked as of last night, I don't know about today, only liked one tweet and it was mine. So I'm hoping this will be on tonight, but I'll say that one for last. Um I did. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas layoffs. Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer died. Uh your last Christmas instead of last Christmas? Um, white privilege Christmas? Uh, Merry Christmas. Rosemary's Baby? Have you if you've ever seen the movie Rosemary's Baby, classic horror film, you can look that up. Merry Christmas, Baby, shark right, Christmas Babies in a prett manger. Two words but that's fun. Okay, Okay, I saw a mommy French kissing Santa Claus. Not only people in New York will get this, I'm gonna tell you, and and and as it heads up, it's a grocery store. Uh, Santa Claus is coming to Foodtown. Uh blue balls Christmas instead of blue Christmas. Um a shout out to the show Shark Tank. I did Mr Wonderful Christmas time for Mr Wonderful. I did run Rudolf, run dot dot dot bang because you got shot. Oh little town of Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. A little drummer boy, Little drummer Boy, George and the one that they liked, where is it Little Caesar's drummer Boy? And then I've been the season wrote Christmas Christmas. So how about Frosty the Snowman Melted? Yes, I had that, but I didn't send it. That's I had that one, so yes, very good. I was because I because I put. One of the ones I did was Rudolf the Reindeer Died, and I thought Frosty the Snowman Melted was too similar, so I didn't send that one. But that's first beginning to look a lot like virtual Christmas. Yeah, yeah, that's good. Right, that's that's what I'm saying. So um uh if any of those yes, so yo yo you want on Twitter and Frosty the Yellow snow Man, right, that's very good. Right. I was gonna do Santa claus Is coming to Chinatown, but I didn't think that ruined it. That made it good. Who asked Christmas? Ever? Yeah, that's good. See I wrote last I said your last Christmas, meaning like you're gonna die. It's the same same theory basically. Anyway, Fallon's got great stuff to flavor town. That's great that see that might be on. That's very good. Okay, So again I'm not saying mine with the best, but those are the ones I did off top my head last night and he liked. They liked one of them. But you know, the writers don't run the Twitter account, so we'll see. But fingers crossed jim I love Jimmy Fallon. It would be great. And then, of course, you know it's too late now at this point they've already filmed the episode. But you know, if they use mine, I'm sure we would play the clip on the show tomorrow. Jingle Jingle Bell Kid Rock Yeah, they're very funny. Have yourself from very little Christmas meltdown. That's good. Yes, I wrote these at eleven forty last night, Silent spread or night. Oh that's good. But the people are clever, man, Yeah, they're very good. So all right, Santa Claus is coming to town drunk. That's cute. All right, Well, I could go on all day anyway the world. I gotta stop. I go. That's fantastic, that's fantastic. That would be ruined for me. So we move on to other things. Oh yeah, yeah, no, I mean it's a nice little, nice little reindeer story. Go ahead, I have a fantasy football store. Want to after you did ranges? And then we gotta get out of here soon. Yeah. So my buddy, my buddy, Sex on the Way Dave. If you don't know what that means, well you're not listening in order. He uh, he was on Okay for the New Listeners. A couple of times we all going to go out and Dave was late because he met some girl on public transportation or somewhere earlier in the night and he had sex with them and then showed up late to whatever we were doing. We call him sex on the way down. I just feel bad. This is more it was a long time ago before we had a girlfriend. I feel bad for him because we met for dinner and he was forty five minutes late last Wednesday. And it wasn't because he had sex on the way. Um, this is more just like a P S A. And I'm being completely honest and serious. Uh, if you are walking your dog at night, keep your dog on a leash. You just never know. So there's a place in Edgewater, New Jersey called River Road, and with the Roadstein Song in it, I think a different River Road, but the thunder Road right that. Duh, there's some to move out of New Jersey. There's a woodsy area. Whatever the case. So my buddy was on his way in a car full of Thank god, I was an uv full of guys, and I guess an owner was walking his rottweiler in Edgewater. And at this all happened in a moment, in a flash. At all of a sudden, the dog, the dog, who was not on a leash, sees a deer. The dog darted after the deer. The deer freaks, the funk out runs in the middle of the road. Anybody, yea credo. It was actually a buck uh and and my buddy it crashed right into the fucking grill, destroyed my friends suv uh and it was just it was a massacre. And the deer it had it was a bucket had I think it was like five points five point antlers. It was like about two three. It was a three pound buck. It was almost and they called obviously the police and everybody. They reported it. But as soon as that happened, the fucking dog gowner and the dog just fucking baulted because he knew, damn well he should not have had his fucking dog off of the leash. You should not do that. And listen. I understand if you live in the country and you're listening to this like, that's not a problem. But when you're living in and even in suburbia where you're somewhere you're you're near oncoming traffic in the potential, yeah, you know what, you just don't know what's gonna happen. Your dog is not good. You know, you can't get the fantasy world where your dog is different. Everyone else's dog has to follow the rules, but my dog special. You know, it's not special. This guy was a complete, reckless, despicable asshole for not putting his dog on a leash when he was walking him in an area where there was a lot of traffic during rush hour. It was six o'clock on a Wednesday night. You and you were on the side of a road. You don't no matter how much you trust your dog, you can't trust that they're gonna do the right thing if they see something weird in their atmosphere. And in this case, it saw. This dog saw fucking deer that it started running at the deer, and then the deer. It caused the deer to get spooked out and run right into the middle of the road, smashed into my car. The card, the car's totaled, cars totaled. My buddy showed up, and thank god everybody was okay. Thank god the antlers didn't come through the windshield. But you gotta be a fucking moron, You gotta be you gotta be a fucking moron. And and and the guy knew he was wrong. He just ran. He ran. This was in Edgewater, somewhere on eighty first Street or eighty second Street on River Road, and in Edgewater, real douche bag, let me tell you well, Dave usually get that. I usually everything ends in a punchline, does not No, I got you. But you know, Dave usually gets fucked on the way to it took being late and he he got bucked. He got bucked. Last night, I was driving my daughter to uh she goes to gymnastics, and we leave the house. One time, it was maybe it was four thirty, so it was sort of getting dark, right, something like that. Ye, and I live on a dead end street called a Sack, and there's there's a family of four or five deer that live in the area because in the end of the call to Sack there's a wooded area, forest area, and so there's deer. So they're always running across the street. They're always in the backyards. They're always eating, you know, trees, whatever, bushes, and so it was dark last night. And I like to think of myself as as a very safe driver. So I'm always looking left and right and in the mirrors. I drive like I know, always look at the who's who's next to you, who's behind you. I'm always looking around right. So I'm driving up my block very slowly and I stopped short and my dirty I'm gonna be late, let's go. And I went look over there, and even though it was dark, you could see four deer on my neighbor's lawn, maybe five ft from the curb. M if I spook them and they they don't notice me, and they run across the street like, oh, let's go eat that bush. They will destroy my car. I not to mention, I don't want to hurt them, right, I don't, don't get upset, never want to hurt the deer. But there's as much chance of them demolishing your car as you're damaging them. So I'm glad I saw them because I wouldn't want to hurt them, and I wouldn't want them to hurt my car, right, And obviously there was a loss of you know, it's what a waste of life, the deer, deer and it destroyed my buddies car because you know, not that we don't. I don't have compassion for the deer, of course, I think was my friend was My friend is still distraught to this moment. He you know, and you know we I saw he took they took a picture of it, you know, they just to show the damage on the car that I saw the deer on the what kind of it was a Ford? Uh no, it was Afford something or other. Um, it was an STV it was, and it was brand new. He only had it for two weeks. Now it's an r I P. Yeah, yeah, yeah, well that's but no, you know what, the deer didn't have to die, and the car didn't have to be totaled, and and the car didn't have to be totaled and the uh and obviously uh, they could have been it could have been even human life, you know, in trouble there too. So please just be smart. You know, again, some people live in rural areas where they don't need to feel like they need their pet on a leash or whatever. But but I I always thought that that's a rule. I'm not a pet owner, but I always thought that once you go outside in in in a city suburban like area, there's the law is you have to have them on a leash. But it's true. I don't know what the law is different different states. This is the state. I will tell you. The deer probably had the Hartford insurance. For those of you know what I'm talking about. Your laughing, Okay, what is that? The Hartford is the insurance company with the deer is the logo, but deer' is the logo. Okay, I kind of figured there was a deer joke. And by the way, you can't spell buick without buck, which is why I asked it was a buick. Um. I got one more thing I wanted to share. If you don't mind, it's a fantasy football story. I never mind. I'm giving up on fantasy this year, and I knew it. It was gonna be a ship show going into this year because of COVID, but go for it. So in the Classic Rock League in our building QE, so it's it's everybody who works for a company brought to you. But stop, we love them. I'm kidding anyway. So there's twelve of us in the league, and there's two divisions. If you don't play fantasy football, I'll make this as basic as I can. Um. Everyone in our division is either currently five and six or six and five. All six teams in the division. We're all like neck and neck. Everyone's in it, no one's out of it. We're all like bunched up. I'm five and six. I lost to bullshit games in a row for I don't want to get into y. But one of the games I lost was because of Ben Roethlisberger. Now, Ben had a couple of bad games about four weeks ago, five weeks ago, like three in a row bad games, and I needed to drop a quarterback for like one week, okay, and pick up a different quarterback. So I dropped Ben Roethlisberger picked up another quarterback that was supposed to have a huge week. Uh, Tony who runs our digital department, he picked up that week. He picked up Ben roethlisbers. You yourself up for a loss here, So he picks up Ben Roethlisberger. And the guy that I picked up, who was supposed to be have a great game against the terrible defense did ship and Roethlisberger had the best week of the year and he beat me. Okay, fast forward now three or three weeks later. Um, I'm playing him again. He's six and five. I'm five and six. If I lose this week, I'm five and seven. I'm out of it. If I win, I'm six and five, and I have enough points to put me in second place. Like it's that that that has how important the game is. I'm either out of it or I'm in second place. Okay, So I notice his tight end is out for the week because of COVID nineteen. His quarterback is Ben Roethlisberger. Now, if you know something about football, the Steelers Ravens game got moved from Sunday to Monday, then Monday to Tuesday, Tuesday to Wednesday. Today, just twenty two players on the Ravens have COVID nineteen can't play or tested positive or were exposed whatever, So half that team is gone. So I notice on Sunday he doesn't have a tight end because his only tight end is out from COVID. But Tony doesn't pay attention to the team every minute what I do, so he's about to get a goose egg, right. So I look on the wave of wire the available tight ends, and there's only one good tight end. So I pick him up for no reason other than so he can't pick up He can't pick him up right, so so he he doesn't get any points for his tight end. Everything goes Sunday, the game's go Monday. He only has been Roethlisberger that hasn't played, and I'm up by twenty points. Six points. Roethlisberger almost every week scores thirty a few weeks. The weeks I dropped him, he scored like fifteen points. So if he has a bad week, I got a shot of winning, right. But Roethlisberger is playing a team that haste. They depleted half the defense, the running backs. It's how many, how many, how many people? How many points did Roethlisberger score? Brodie So I watched the game this afternoon, sweating because I put so much effort into fantasy football, and Tony puts in. He plays, but he doesn't like. I'm obsessed with trades and waiver when research watching every fantasy show. I'm a maniac, and my whole season is coming down to Ben Roethlisberger playing against the team with nobody on it. Nobody left on the Ravens. Basically, Roethlisberger had his worst game of the year today. Only scored fourteen point five points. I run by six point one points, and now I'm in second place. I'm back in a baby yeah, David by ladies and gentlemen. So had he picked up a tight end, the tight end I picked up, let me send many points. He picked up the tight end I picked up. Rogers scored fourteen point three points, but he didn't do it well. I don't know if he would have picked him up anyway blocked him night, But I cocked blocked him by picking him up before he realized he had to pick up a tight end. I'll look at you, bro, You're still in it. You're in second place, said the words you said. Let me tell you something. It's war. Fantasy football is war, my friend. You do whatever you have to to be creative and on it and responsible and do your research. But I want to shout out, Ben Roethlisberger. You cost me a game four weeks ago, but you won me a game today, baby, So thank you. Back in the day, we didn't play. We played stickball and stoop ball on the streets. Boys, boy,