#10: Bad News, Bad Parking, Bad Salad, Bad Grammer*

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Speaker 1: Although my headphones aren't working. It's the Broken Boys podcast. Brody and Scary hit the Button Star. It has the song Brooklyn Brooklyn ter broken Data. They're making noise data up. This is the big one. This is episode number ten. It's Scary and Boo another one on the Brooken Boys Podcast. You know, I don't even answer you anymore. I'm just gonna let you sit there and try and do that. Just take it. No, I'm just gonna take it. You're gonna take it no, because it's that wasn't officially the beginning of the podcast. Oh, like I heard you did the birthday list before the podcast last week. You're scary and brody before we have started, and now you just can't be like, hey, I just plug my headphones. Indian scary. That's that's how That's how I won this week. I win at kath web girl Kathleen from our morning show, uh the Train Morning Show. Yeah, she made his film a video. Yeah, by the way, that's cool, it's on Instagram. Yeah. We did like a forty five second brilliant piece of physical and timing comedy. I like the way it came out. Yeah, but she chopped that ship down to eight seconds second. We need to put up an unedited version because it was quality. See we're standing in the frame as brody and scary, but she called it scary and brody. She was reading right to left because I'm Jewish. That's what it was. Tribe met yogurt. No, it's got the name. It's got girt in the title. I can't eat an name with girten it like, yeah, just girt sounds like dirt. Besides, here's the thing. Ice cream is the best part of the milk. They take the cream off and they freeze it. Yogurt is bacteria infused boiled milk. I can't eat that. It's like blue cheese. I would. I love blue. I wear blue all the time. You'd think, wow, Brodie likes to call a luili blue cheese. First of all, it's b l u I get it. It's it's moldy, awful cheese. I'm not eating it. So here's the weird part. Whenever I eat yogurt, if I'm going to eat yogurt, it's covered in sugar and fruit, or it's a flavored one like vanilla or chocolate. So this is the first time I think I've ever tasted plain yogurt. This is Siggy's plain yogurt, not a sponsor. Here's the thing. But I want to say, what's one thing. I wouldn't be able to tell the difference between this or sour cream. It tastes, it tastes so heinous. It is those zero taste. Here's Brodie's theory on food. If you have to put stuff you like onto it or into it to make it edible, why eat it in the first place? Is that like a woman that wears too much perfume white eater in the first place. Exactly, she's hot. No, if she wears too much perfume, there's other problems. Yeah. I just feel like if you have to wear a smoking jacket to a business casual meeting, you're probably hiding something back on that again, No, because the fruit on top of yogurt is the is the John Varvado's jacket of of the food. You're just masks it masks a very bland, plain, so sour taste, and that's what it is. You know, you're right, I love you. Know what? You throw strawberries in my yogurte, You'll have some yogurt an idea throw strawberries on ice cream even better. Exact, start off with a good base, don't start with crap. It's like rice cakes. I understand why people eat rice cakes, but you could make chicken palmejan rice cakes. They're still freaking rice cake. Yeah, you noticed that they had that flavored rice cakes came in here the end of the day. Now it's the ones that are coated in dark chocolate, right then, just eat the chocolate. It was those green like cookies and cream mint right over the rice creake and rice cake. And it was fine if you ate the top of it off, if you just took the green mint off, But if you ate it in the wrong angle where you got more rice than green, it tastes like a rice cake. Yeah, you might as lead styrofoam. Might as well have a cupcake and put that stuff on it. And now you're talking. I understand people want to be healthy, they want to lose weight. I get it. But make yogurt better. How do you make yogurt better? Make cream? Yeah, but anyway, it's not a good product. I noticed people like it. I know, I know, Jamie, Jamie Lee Curtis. It regulates her poops. I get it. You know what's great about it? Actually, you know it's better than this and and that's cottage cheese. I love cottage cheese. No, it just looks First of all, the word cottage seems like an old, smelly home, like people have a cottage. It's never a nice place. Second of all, it's lumpy. It looks like it went bad, like cottage cheese looks like when you pour the old milk out and it goes chunks, without the without without the goodness. Yea. And for you and not in the New York area, rogotta is racotta cheese. Yeah, let's not get into that part of it. You know, it's what's in Manicotti or an our neighbor. You know Bethany from the show. I wish she was still here as a Manicotti tint. Yeah she does anyway. She she called me the other night. She had her sister in town. And it was eleven o'clock at night and I was sleeping. I'm like, what's going on. She's scary, Hey, I'm here with my sister. Well, I thought it was for something better. I thought she was gonna be like, hey, you want to hang out? Because her tonality said it all She's like, scary, Yeah, it's me, it's my sister. Awesome, where are you guys? Oh, we're hanging out together. Listen. We had a couple of questions for you pronounced those Italian words, so she started spelling words and then she had to pronounce them to entertain her sister, which which is kind of fun, but it would be even better. She Her next question was, I want to join us. We're at the bar, right. She used you for your Brooklyn accident. She used me for a few minutes of humor for her sister. And the thing is, it's you know, obviously we have to drop the vowels at the end. I told are the rules of being No, you don't, you don't. You dropped the constant into the end. Now you dropped the vowels. Regatta becomes regott. The valves Calamari. Yeah, yeah, like Calamari becomes Colamar, but it's not Colamar, it's Gallama. Sometimes the C becomes a G, so it becomes Gallamad. Yeah, I never got that Calamari becomes Gallaman. Come on, Brody, No, no, I never did the Gallama thing. I did Calamari, I say Calamari. I understand rogota because because it's right, you have like a we say, we say supersada. It's it's so prota. I'm just translator. Or Capacola is gobba goal it's gobba gule. You had an o o in there and it ends in an L and it starts torea. It sounds like a Halloween treat gobba gooule? Yeah, or or will pursute those pursute right? Or pasta is right and pasta fazioli is pasta faule right, pasta farzoli right right? Yeah, so there you go. Anyway, she called you to play what you're at. You think the g I andy making a z O L. Anyway, I had her sister in stitches. Yeah, she's mocking you. You thought you're like, oh wow, I'm really funny. She's making funn of you. She's like, let's call the guy who speaks stupidly? Is really what what it anmounts to? And let's make them say stupid stuff. It's not complimentary. If that's what they got out of the phone call, I'm okay with it. Whatever. I'm all right. I got a lot to talk about, but I know you have. Let's let's let's let's lay out what we're gonna talk about. I got a couple of rants, one that happened just yesterday, and I'm furious. I don't want to start it right yet. Um, I got jokes. We haven't used to go. A couple of those got birthdays. I keep in mind, Um, Elvis is out of town half this week, so I have less unused jokes today. And um, well, hold on. I want to talk about curb enthusiasm, because we got no we do not. I also want to talk about Larry David I think is now ripping me off. You think I think he's not ripping me off. We're gonna talk about that. Uh and uh, yes, that's I gotta that's but you said you had a big thing. It's kind of big, but it's not gonna be big for you because you don't eat vegetables and you don't need salad. I like salad if it doesn't have a lot of vegetables at like I'll do tomato with cucumbers happen like those. I have a major problem. I don't throw a red cabbage in because you want. I'm not going to use your music. Hey, carrots, eight carrots, I'll eat carrots, cucumbers and tomato in a salad. I'll eat the caesar salad because it's really just cheese, cheesy dressing, croutons. Yeah, and it's made with sardines. Real caesar salad is made with sardin. Well, it's they're minced up in the in the in the caesar salad dressings. Some places will lay the whole sardine over the top and raw eggs. Do you know that raw eggs in a seson salad dressing a real creamy caesar. Um. But this is about chopped salad. Um. You know. I do go on my salad kicks and I like to put everything on it, like all salads are chopped, saying okay, well there there in lies the problem because if there's a salad on the menu, it's a cops salad, Greek salad, spinach salad, whatever it is, those are just no, those are and they'll tell you the ingredients in it if you ask. So it should be a bed of right, but it'll be a bed of spinach with cucumbers tomatoes if you and if you do a Greek salad, right, Greek salad is feta, cheese, tomatoes, cucumbers, onions maybe, and some dressing. Okay, when I order a Greek salad, it's gyromeat pa and hold a salad. That's not where I have the issue. The issue is not with that, because a lot of times the salad will say whatever salad it is. Then it'll say a chef salad, which is usually some ham presute, coup of goal. You know it has cheese in it, whatever it is, that turkey. But see, I think this is going to upset me more than you think, because you're more apt to order a salad and not ask what's in it, like no, no, but no, no, but cobs salad. To you, it's probably stuff you eat. It's not for me. It's stuff I probably don't eat. So I have to ask every ingredient right when. That's fine and listen. A lot of most places lay it out. This is where my problems give me the problem. Okay, so the salads will be list did kale caesar? I'm out? Okay, I know you're out, but listen, for the sake, caesar salad was fine. They didn't need to add cal and kale and cut the salad in half. So man is Fine'll say chef salad, cops salad, kale salad. Then it'll say it'll say how salad. They will say chopped salad. Okay now, and it'll tell you the ingredients. By the way, it's chopped salad, chopped, ChopChop salad, where everybody says that wrong choppe. They chopped salad. Okay. Do you know that every freaking place that I order a chopped salad, they never fucking chopped the salad. They separate the ship. They put the greens over here, the eggs over there, a whole boiled eggs, a pinwheel they put. They line up the fucking tomatoes, they line up the cucumbers. That is not a chopped salad. I'm sounding like you. I don't mean to be this way, but I have to get this off my chest. This bothers me to know. End. If you're offering an item on your menu called chopped salad, the fucking thing should be chopped. This the salad should have, should be finely chopped, they should have the dressing mixed in. It should be tossed and chopped. So this way, in every forkful, I get all of that goodness. That is the definition of a chopped salad. You go to a restaurant, you order a chopped salad. It's meant to be finely chopped. But none of the places I ever order from chopped the salad. It bothers me. Brodie. I know you don't give a ship because you don't need salad, but are you looking at the definition? Okay, this is my rent, and I don't rant very often because you know, I'm a very happy, go lucky guy, but Brodie, you gotta back me up on this one. If I order a menu item called chopped salad with all the ingredients listed, you would expect it to come as a salad that's finely chopped with you don't put it on a bed of lettuce first and then put all the ship in there. Chopeak, No, basically a hamburger, but it's it's it's not really right. But no, no, no, no no, it's chopping meat meat. But I'm talking about a chop. People know. People that order chopped salads get it. In fact, there are certain places that you when you go order a salad like salad, places like just salad, that some of them they won't chop the salad. Can you toss it and chop it. No, I'm sorry, we don't do that here. It's almost like it's a it's a production for them because they're dirtying up their extra bowl. But there are certain places that when you say could you toss it and chop it? Tossing it and chopping it is the correct way to do a chopped salad. There's no other ways. You can't just line up the protein. If if I want a shrimp or if I want a chicken and chopped salad, I expect the chicken to be cubed. We'll put into pieces. Okay, thank you. I'm sorry for people that listen Toogie. I gotta say it's uncomfortable hearing people complain. I'm just I'm not a fan. Okay, I'm saying I know that people listening with earbuds on. They're like, if you order something, it should be prepared properly. However, this seems to be according to this definition and open to interpretation item, so according to wise Geek dot org, so that dot org makes them official. A chopped salad is a salad that includes ingredients which have been chopped to be uniform, and then either composed or tossed, depending on the style of the salad, so that that supports my theory. Second paragraph. Common ingredients and a chopped salad include onions, bell peppers, olives, carrots, pato, celebration called meats like grilled chicken, pickled peppers. Okay, depending on the stylistic choice of the person who makes the saladies, here's where you're fucked. All of the ingredients may be chopped to create a very uniform look and texture, or some of the ingredients may be cut up while others are left larger. Classically, for example, chopped vegetables can be served on a bed of whole the sleeves. The salad may be garnished with things like shredded or crumbled cheese, fresh herbs, or sprouts. The salad is sating, typically drizzled what dressing before it is served, and it may may be tossed to integrate all of the ingredients, or left in a composed form in which the ingredients may be carefully arranged to create stripes or other patterns of color. Does you're dressing drizzle when you're going to the bathroom? Wait for the shake? So, so what are you see in brody? So I'm seeing that by the definition the name itself is a misnomer. It's an optional charge chopped salad. Basically, when you order a chop salad, it's whatever they feel like doing. I'll have a I'll have a woody in the mood to create salad, or how much time do we have left in the day kind of things like, or it's fucking rush hour right now. Someone someone, I'm just in my head, that's what That's what's going through their minds. I still like, screw this guy, I'm not chausing and chopping a salad. I got no time for that. Throwing everything in a freaking plastic plastic bin, you know the plastic containers they just like there. So when I manage restaurants, one one of the restaurants I managed was Red Robin, which is Robin, which is a theme restaurant like pull the hands love Red Robin. And we had a Cops salad back in the day. I don't know if they still sell it, but when I worked there, I had had to occasionally make it or train or train my staff. I think when I think of cops salad, I think of finally, finally chopped items. I think a cops salad, I think of corn on the cob and then I order corn on a cop I don't need salad, so our cops salad involved ingredients that were easily pre prepared or usable in other items. So the egg would put in an egg slicer, the hard walled egg, and you'd slice it and then lay the slice of the chicken. You we used to buy it like in bags of cube chicken, so that was already cubed pre bad cubes it. But if there were things like shredded cheese that used for the nachos, then you put the shredded cheese cute right, um. But if there were items like um, like olives, if the olives were from other things like the bar, you just prew the alms on. I'm still okay with that because they're small. I'm talking about when you put cucumber, like leave cucumbers in their in their slices. I want, I want to cross cut on the cue. You're not because it involves extra labor. And the cucumbers you put them in the little hand slicer and you slice them. The most important part of all is the lettuce needs to be you know what I'm gonna rant a little bit about cucumbers. You got cucumbers, Yeah, I got cu I like cucumbers, Okay, don't don't pickle them. I just want my cucumbers. But here's the problem. If I were agreed that the skin on a cucumber is awful and most people peel the skin on a cucumber, don't give me stripes. Don't give me skin stripes on my cucumber. Because if I don't like the skin every other inch, I don't want to skin every other inch. But look, it's an ex pattern. They're decorative for them as I like. Then I gotta take a knife, and I gotta go right on my plate. And then when you when when when he slips off, you have to clank on the plate because you're cutting and you can't do that in a bowl. You can't cut the If they get a cup salad, then you gotta take the do you take You take the cucumber and you go and you bite the skin off and spin it on the plate and you bite the skin off and you go around the side four times. Because they got fucking stripes. Because the guy in the back goes stripe stripe, stripe stripe, and it looks really good. Well, on the cross cut. It looks amazing. But you know what, let me only peel two fourths in my banana. Let me peel the front and the back and leave the sides with skin it that way because it looks better. But cucumber of peeler. Well, I will say this, it's actually healthy for you. I read up on this. I'm like, because when I brought cucumbers into my own house and I'm like, it's such a pain in the ask to try and like peel them. Let me see, is the skin really that bad for you? It's actually pretty good for you. Great, Hey, this skin on a carrot's good for you. I'm not eating it. I'm not eating I'm not. I don't care. Oh, if you eat the if you eat the if you eat the root part of a vegetable, I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. I understand that some rude vegetables you eat the root. I get it. I'm not eating the skin. Root down. You gonna put your boot down, put my boots. I'm not taking the skin off. I'm not taking the skin off of an orange and eating the skin because someone told me it's good for me. It's a righty yogurt. Okay, fine, all right. By the way, throwing saracha on everything doesn't make it better. Fuck you over saracha people, I'm not doing it. Don't give me saracha cereal. Oh. I was in the store yesterday at at the shop, right and uh, oh, I want to go get cash, use little bags of cashews? Can I rant write about cash? Right? About cash? I got a problem with cashes. And then we'll get back to the salad. I'm done with the salad part on your steak. No catch up, okay, I just want to get to say October fifth as we record this. Uh, this has been going on since September two thou twelve, Yes, dinner sim September dinner so long, for so long, such a long time that we had to make a stage here about it, about this. That's how long I've known. I've owned dinner years. I have a bad after chasing pathetically, we're in the sixth year. Yeah, yogurt, I've yogurt after taste. Someone out this disgusting? All right, Brody cahead alright. Steak dinner update, Steak dinner update. We have not gone to steak dinner. I've been five years in a month. It's coming to an n October seventeenth. I just got confirmation that you and I are gonna be speaking at Brooklyn College late in the afternoon on the seventeenth of October on a Tuesday, on Tuesday, on a Tuesday, and after that we'll go back into the city five o'clock and we'll go to Delmonico's or wherever you want to go. We'll go to Lugers. We'll go to Lugers. That's all right, there you go. That's your update. Now I got what's your problem with cash? He's brody, all right. I think it's dime and I had them at my desk. Let men know the brand. They come in green bags, diamond, right. So they have these cash shows and almonds and mixed nuts in little hundred calorie packets, so they're about three inches high. And they come in plane cash you salt and pepper cashho salt and pepper push push that's different anyway. Uh, they have saracha cash shows, right, and they have like chocolate covered almonds and they're a hundred calories and depending on what's in them, you get more or less. So like the almonds are less fatten than the cash shows. You get more almonds, and you get cashoes, and I want to eat them on my way to work in the morning. And they're you know, like when you open a little bag of Doritos, what do you do? You pinch one side and you pinch and you pull the flat from the center from the center. You cannot pinch in pullies, goddamn diamond cash you bags. You can pull and pull and pull. They won't open. Okay, isn't the point of a food company to get you to eat their food? Shouldn't they make it easier. There's no little tab that's has opened here. I can't see it in the dark of my car at five in the morning I'm driving in. No, you can't open it. So you have to take your teeth and bite a hole in the soft spot in the front. Then what happens is cashrews go flying all over the car and then you have to like reach into the hole to get your cash shows out. So it's not the problem with cashrews are great, it's you know, and he's the worst there to save money. They don't give you cashows, they give you cash you pieces all the more reason, how does it save them money? Okay, because the good cashers go in the jar that that they looked good. The defective pieces that lay on the conveyor belt they sweep off the floor into these bags of a hundred calories. So you wouldn't like bring over a bowl of cashews, put them on the table with cash you crumbs and a bowl that's you gotta put the whole cash shows. They always thought that they were whole, and then because of travel. No, no, that's why they used the word pieces. Hellos. They have cash you holes, cash you haves, and cash you pieces. I don't know about you, but I spend the extra dollar for the They don't make the whole cash shows in the bag, you son of a bitch. So I buy the piezles. I don't buy diamond. Yeah, okay, you're a big spender. I go to Costco get curtain don cashows. That's what I should do, Just get the whole bucket. But then I have to raw cash, not raw. I gotta have them salt and roasted, come on oil. Yes, raw cash shoes is like eating cardboards. It's not so good. And they're great on your chopped salad. Yeah good, enjoy nice call back. So my problem is number one. If they were whole cash shows and I ripped the bag open, I'd be able to get the piece the big cash shows out. But they're little pieces. They're all over my car. I hate you, Diamond Cash. Fixed your damn bags. Make them open a bowl. Thank you. You didn't play my music, so screw you. Well because you have bigger rants coming. That was just the music. Are you gonna play when I actually rant about Curb? Your enthusiasts have to pay twice? I might have to. All right, I have a couple of things that sounds like you've got mail. Why go ahead? What am I gonna but alright, this one comes from Thiago Dantes. Yeah, that's exactly what he wrote. Actually, this guy, I don't know if this is a slap in the face to me. You can always emails at the Brooklyn Boys podcast at gmail dot com and the subject is startup song at the beginning, Hey Brody, all caps and scary. I love you guys, Brody, you saved the day. This podcast is a thousand times better than anything Scary ever did. No offense is scary. Wow, Thank you there, Thiago. Just one thing, the startup song that keeps saying the startup sounds like it's for a business. Startup. He's confused, this guy. He's saying that it sounds like a startup, like we're a start of business. Okay. I can't be the only one who thinks that you are. By the way, I listened every week and wish it was at least twice a week. Thank you and keep up the good work, Brudy. English is my second language, so please don't judge my English. No judge. Here's what I'm gonna judge. Don First of all, I love him, by the way, but I have I have a great Thiago. Come on, man, no love for your voice. Scary here, you're pretty much saying first, spell first. It takes two here to do this podcast? Would it? What would it be if it was just you in a room by yourself, screaming at nothing? The ratings would be twice as high. You would say, you say, what's this, gentleman? I am Thiago? T H I A g O. Hello Thiago. I think I heard you say Dante called him dote. I apologize to Dantas. Okay, so but here's what I would say to Thiago. And you've all done this, people listen to the podcast. You've done this. Everyone does this. Just because you say, I'm not the only one that thinks this way or I can't be the only one who thinks its way this way doesn't make you right. Like people say, I hate that song and everyone I know hates it too, so it's bad. No, It just means you surround yourself with similar type people who think the same way you do, or you'll go, I know, they go, I I think you shouldn't have you say dirty, say bitch on the radio, And I know I'm not the only one that's that's thinks that. But here's the thing. There are people that eat poop, there are people that have sex with animals. No matter what you like what, no matter what you dislike, no matter what you're into, there's a million people that agree with you. That doesn't make you right. That's all you're you're are you coming out here for yes? Yes? And eating? Where are you going with? Okay? What I'm saying is what I'm saying is when people what Yeah, When people use the I can't be the only one, even if you're not the only one, doesn't make you right now in this particular case, that's not what you meant. I understand that. I just reminded me because we've got some text messages today that kind of irked me that we're like, now, I'm not the only one I you know, I'm sure a lot of people. But he's right, though, he's right, I understanding in his mind he hears start up, start up. You know it's a business, new company. I get it, new company. But you also start up your engine in the morning. Right, there's a lot of things that started right, there's things that start up. Start up. One more I here's another one from Beryl nef great name. Hey guys, wanted to say love this new podcast. Want to know if you could send me the link to the charger on Amazon that Brody was talking about. If you can do that? That was episode number nine. I would appreciate it. I'm into phones and accessories and I just got the new Samsung Galaxy Note eight. I would love to have a good charger. Thanks. Hope to hear back from you and keep it the good work. Have a great weekend. Beryl nef M Did you answer her real quick? Um? Here's what I can do. I can I'm gonna go into my previous orders and tell you the name of it. But we can keep going on while I'm doing Okay, while you're doing that. Uh, the grammar police are here. Love that from Henry Davidson takes a screenshot of what was the cost Usco Bridge being demolished on Sunday. So Channel four NBC, that's for New York w NBC television. Well, they had the news on and the the the cost Usco Bridge was they were going to implode it. It was done on purpose. It was they were gonna press a button whatever the thing was gonna just collapse. Cos Usco. They're gonna get rid of the old bridge. But on the screen they got the word cost Usco spelled right. It was the word bridge that they didn't spell right. The graphic across the bottom of the screen and read cos Usco Bride demolition on Sunday. Oops, somebody was going a little too fast in typing in the graphic. And funny thing is he because Shusco is the hard part. Okay, they got the hard part right, all right. So the charger that I that I had stolen from you, that I since had replaced, Oh, I have to file a follow up. So last week I complained that a co worker had borrowed in quotes, my phone charger wall unit USB and never returned it. Then it got taken out of the studio and stolen. He ordered me two new ones for my trouble because one is free dessert for my trouble, and I got two of them now a chance once home. Ones here at work. Barrel should get one. No, Barrel shouldn't. But I'm gonna help him out and tell him which one it is. And I have a follow up story to the guy that stole my charge. Uh So, the the the unit I got highly rated quick Charge. It's made by I Clever which caught my attention. I Clever Boost Cube, which is a three point o USB wall charger, so that means it's a faster charger than the standard two point o which we've been using for years. And it's a foldable plug so you can put the little tabs down when you travel. Again. It's the I Clever Boost and I think I paid now. It's it's on sale at twelve wait a minute, free one day delivered right and as a deal right now. It's so hopefully people will rush. It's a it's a lightning that we know what I could do. I can return the ones the guy got made full price and then by the nice okay, and there's there's one more email. Read the email and I'll do the follow up on the guys. Someone, uh, Florence you on slid into my d m s of all places on Facebook and said, hey, I try. Of all places, where else would she slide into your d M s Instagram's but on the social media so Facebook, so Facebook, Instant Messenger because she writes, Hey, sorry to bother you here. I tried to find the Brooklyn Boy email but couldn't. Well, it's Brooklyn Boys podcast at gmail dot. We do mention it every podcast. Well, she could have scrubbed back a little bit and got it. But anyway, it's okay. Anyway, there's a there are Oh, she's referring to the fact that my girlfriend, Robin was going to I was thinking about getting a cat. But she's never gonna be home for the cat, so she's not gonna get a cat, right she was. I wanted to let you know there are automatic feeders and litter boxes that cleans itself. Robin can leave for a few days and the cat will be taken care of some of them will notify you when it runs out too. So what you're trying to say is that that she should get a cat. Don't let it to tear you from getting a cat if you're not gonna be home, because they they do automatic things. In fact, a friend of mine, he's got a dog, and the dog sits home all day, but he watches it on security cameras, so he actually has this device where he right right, it gives the dog. So so if the dog does something good, um, a little window opens and a bone, a little treat pops out of the sounds. Yeah, that would be a big bone. That's a that's a treat for through like a whole litter of dogs. I've seen girlfriends. But anyway, don't dissed me in the middle of my story. I'm sorry, Go ahead anyway. So, yeah, so they have these devices now where your pet, which is left home alone, might not feel there's a different Talk to you, press a button, say hey, how you doing, little man? Okay, and the dog hears you. How great is it if you're having sex with Robin and while you're doing Robin, she's like, oh, who's my good boy? And you're like yeah, I'm your good boy. No, no, not, I'm talking to the cat. That's what you want. And do you think the cat wants to be bought by someone and owned by someone? And then a week after that they move into the house, they're left alone for three days. And what condition do you think Robbin's couches will be in when she comes home after three days of a kit and living there with nobody to tell not to do anything. You get a scratching post, the scratch scratched out again inside your pants. That's right, all right, that's awesome, all right, Brodi what else what he got back to you? I'm done with the email, you know, I had a bunch Okay, By the way, I want to follow up on the side by the continuing, I just want to let you know thank you for tweeting us at Brooklyn Boys. WTF, which, by the way, he should be changed any day now, yeah, any day. I spoke to Tony Molay about this. I'm like, we've got to get me the Brooklyn Boys enough already with the brook Boys doesn't really matter. You and I respond to our own Twitter, right, but people have been tweeting the hell out of us with an outrageous amount of of pumpkin spice, and I gotta say, it really is out of control. It's disgusting how many pumpkin spice things that are out. The pumpkin spice. English muffins, bad the pumpkin spice. But the pinnacle is the pumpkin spice pizza. Yeah, pumpkin spice pizza. Disgusting. But yeah, but thank you. We have been seeing those. We just didn't get to that. I want to follow up on what I was saying before about the guy who stole my charger. Yeah, so he was filming a video on his phone. I guess it was either Snapchat or Instagram video. He's trying to be funny, so he puts something really gross on his finger. I don't know if it was like the old guacamole sitting out there, but he's filming and he comes to my desk and he says, hey, Brody, you want to you have a clean X from like to clean off my finger. And I guess he wanted me to go, that's gross, get it away from me. And I said, no, I don't have any clean X, but if you want, I can put a box on my desk and you can just steal it. His face just went want want want wah. So I'm like, oh, I'm not letting it go just because you bought me a new charger. You're gonna pay for that. So you want me an your videos, I'm taking you down, all right. So I have a couple of rants, and I have jokes we didn't get to. Okay, that's the jokes we didn't get too, because every time there's only a couple, there's only a couple of This week, um, Froggy, who's on our show, was talking about a co worker and she had something something left up with her fingernail, hits something over with her fingernail, and she came into work one day and she had gotten a very expense. She didn't get it fixed because she it was too much money and it was whatever. And so she comes into work one day and she got a boom job, which costs thousands of dollars. So Froggy could not understand why she got a boot She alway says to her, why would you get a boot job? Why don't you fix your finger? And she wasn't happy with that, right, So I wrote a joke that Elvis did not want to do. She got the boob job, so no one would notice her finger, right, you got big boobs. No one's looking at your finger being after um. Okay, So yesterday on the show, was it yesterday we're talking about hiding keys, So hiding keys to your house. So people were saying, oh, we hide him under a rock on the porch, your extra key in case you come home drunk. One person said, I bury the key in the yard and I put a rock on top of it, so I know that what the key is. And then Elvis like, well, they make those fake rocks now and have those storage compartment in it. I get those. Everyone was calling about what they how they use rocks to hide their keys. So I wanted Elvis because he knows celebrities, to make this joke. And he didn't get the joke. And he didn't make the joke. The joke was I took it to a new level. I actually gave my key to the rock and had him hold the key for me. Not a killer joke, but anyway, and then and then and lastly, we did a game show. What game show did we do? Jeopardy? We did Celebrity jo Jeopardy, and he he was talking about his what he was wearing. He's I have this new jacket as the game show host, and um, you wanted to do like you do this announcer guy for game shows, which is supposed to be a parody of every seventies game and everyone gets a copy of the home game. And I wrote this joke because Elvis buys clothing in a certain story he likes. And there was an old company where every game show host had their wardrobe provided by Dicker and Dicker Beverly Hills. So my joke was my wardrobe was provided by Dick Him and Dick Him of Beverly Hills. And he gave me a dirty look. Yeah and rightfully, so seriously. So those are just a couple of things we did not did not get to. Not the greatest person. I love those old game shows, by the way, because like Mark Goodson Television Production, there was Mark Goodson Bill Toddman yep. But in later years, when Bill todd left Mark Goodson, it was Mark Goodson Television Production. People weren't noticed, right, Bill Toddman had the second name, which is why we're broody and scary, because the second name doesn't get as much credit. It's like at Seleno and Barnes, the famous law firm. We talked about this didn't on the show. Barney Sellino and Barnes have a jingle. Play the jingle but as you're as I'm pulling up. So Seleno and Barnes had a divorce. Basically they they're not. There are two guys who had a company. They're very successful, mostly because of the jingle and the radio commercial. So they broke up. They wanted to split the business and Selino felt like his part of the company should be more valuable. He should get maybe like fifty of the company as opposed to for Barnes, and Barnes said no, it should be fifty, and Selino said the Sealino part is more valuable because people remember the first name Barnes Attorneys eight not So his theory was, I could Seleno and Jones Selino and still sounds the same, right, But you can't be getting Jones and Barnes. It doesn't like right, he said. So the analogy he used was people don't write a Davidson, they write a Harley like it's Harley Davidson. And by the way, you would expect this argument from a high powered lawyer like Selino, right, or a guy like me who debates people. But I was if it sounded if you got a name that sounded like Selino, if it was if you Marino had a last guy, a guy would last name the Marino, and it was Marino and Barnes injury that would retain the value right there. So as Barnes lawyer, I would I would get Marino, Galino, Galino. And but then you're put in the emphasis then Galino is gonna want to have the company because he's gonna think that he's the Selino guy. What if Selina Gomez joined, it could be Selina and Barnes. No one would know. When your lawyer comes into the courtroom singing, probably have an idea Selina and Barnes singers. Anna Herney's maybe okay, that's coming a thing in the room. Nothing just here, but like Elvis, does it now innate? Yeah? Okay. Oh, by the way, did you see a Garrett the other day, Garrett Man. He gives me from the morning show, Garret Marrables rand morning. She almost give me a heart attack because he was announcing one of our friends, one of our dear friends in radio and had a heart attack. But he did something that people do all the time. I can't stand did you hear what happened? Did you hear what happened? So and so had a heart attack and he left the dramatic pause out there, but you no, no, no. But the thing is it was not a serious heart attack. The truth was the guy had a minor heart attack and he was back to work. It's like when it's like a one point to earthquake and they say, oh, there was one point to earthquake, but nobody felt it, bother me with it, or there was an earthquake. Garrett would have been like, there was an earthquake, and he gives you that little moment of hysteria. You can't do that when you're announcing, by the way, hysterio, great album by death Leper. But that's true if you're giving someone back anniversary. By the way, this year August was the thirtieth anniversary of the famous history album that gave us pull some Sugar on Me. Great album. But I'm telling you sorry, that's okay. I'm just a favorite band I know of all time, favorite band of this week. Ye so, but the truth is, you can't do that. You can't get you can't. If there's a story with a happy ending or some somewhat silver lining, give the entire sentence. You gotta do it, right there, you people like and especially and especially on on a cell phone, like you can't. You can't go hey, did you hear about Steve had a heart attack? And then the phone drops right You're like, what right? So you Garrett? You guys said Garrett. You gotta deliver news like that one felt swoop. It's got to be a full sentence. One fell swoop? Okay, felt? I did? You did say felt? It was an accident? Okay, but I knew it was an accident. Okay, you know what I'm okay. But anyway, yeah, so yeah, if you're getting bad news. By the way, if you're someone who says one felt the swoop, um, you need to tweet us and let us know felt swoop if you do that. But anyway, uh, you know. But but it's true. I really think you gotta give news like that that has a silver line together. Here's what you do. You go, hey, so he has a happy ending. OReGO, he's fine. But just so you know, our friend had a minor had of day. So and so was in a car accident. The cars find there there find the car is fine right then and there, you can't be like, okay, I'll give you I'll give an example how this happened to me times a thousand. Yeah, my daughter who's part of my rant but not yet, started driving about a month ago. On Thursday of Friday last week, right have last week, I pull up to my driveway. Normally, I opened the garage door with the inside button and I drive right in. But I opened the garage door and I stopped on the driveway. I stopped for a second because I had to pull my garbage pails in whatever. And I'm sitting there and two state trooper cars pull up, two of them right and they blocked my driveway. That's one of those moments where you need them to come out of the car and be like okay, okay. So I didn't do that. So I opened my car door immediately and I stand up. So they like if if they're there to arrest me for some reason, like I don't do anything wrong, but I don't want them to think I have I might have a gun in the car, like I don't want to get I go high offices. What are you for you, and they say to me, um, now, let's say my daughter drives a green Volkswagon. She does not, But for the sake of this story, let's say she drives eight you have three thousand green Volkswagon. Uh. Do you own a year three thousand green Volkswagon. Sir Mr Brody said, yes, you want a three thousand green volk So right away, I think, oh my god, that's my daughter's car. She's she started coping to the inclusion your mind starts racing, is eying? Okay? Yes, sir, your car was involved in an accident. So again I go, okay, is everybody okay? That's not the way for them to do this now, So that's what that was my point point you need to lead with. So I said, is everybody okay? Is my daughter okay? Yes, your daughter is fine. Okay, I've now had two heart attacks. By the way, I'm fine. The heart attacks on minor um. But I felt I felt like saying, hey, now, I have nothing but respect for police officers. You know, my father was a police officer. So I'm just saying this for the sake of the podcast. I felt like saying his face, Hey, asshole, next time you come to my house unexpected. Excuse me, sir. Everything's fine. I just want to ask you some questions. Everything's fine. You have to know going into it that you're going to freak them the funk out. Now, if you're a police officer or a doctor, you probably should have experienced delivering news. You don't want a doctor to come in range room and go, oh, so your wife dead? You know, hey, are you Mr Johnson? Your wife's dead? How you doing today? You want to have some bedside man or some decorum some hey listen, you know your wife was a fighter. We could yeah whatever, already rubbed ruptured, But don't don't walk up to my house already. I'm a little nervous because I'm like, why these two police cars stay troopers? No less? You know, the mirrored glasses kind of guys there go, you know what, it's protocol. Probably they just have to go through in a certain way. I understand if if I'm not really needs to be unfolded. I understand in front if you want to verify that I own the car, But how about verifying that regardless, no one in my life is injured? That's all. It's almost like inductive reasoning. Versus deductive reasoning. Inductive you give the headline first and then you go you things to support it. And then deductive is when you go it's like this, then this, this, this, therefore that right. Deductive is like a detective. You take all the clues, put them together, come up with right, whereas inductive is headline first. And here's why I will tell you when I watch C S I or Criminal Minds, and it's it's inductive where they show you the killer and they work backwards f that I don't need you to tell me how what I'm saying, I just saw the guy kill someone. The whole show is supposed to be a mystery. I don't need you to tell me now how he got there. I want to see the murder at the end. That's all. Now, now about your daughter, since you're on the top, tell me what you would do. You and I are city guys, right, so when you are raised in a city and someone says, hey, you're you're in your car. I'm in my car. Let's go to a certain place. Now. If you don't know that place, you'd follow me right now. As the lead dog in a following situation, your job is to make sure the person is behind you. The other person's job is to make sure they're behind you. Now you live in the country, that's pretty easy. There's no cause for five miles. When you live in a populated area, there's cars everywhere, right, Okay, So my daughter's car needs to get serviced. I have a mechanic about five miles away. Up a hill, then down a hill, make a left, and as a uh, that's where he fixed his cars. So I'm leading because I know where it is. I'm doing her favor because she just got a car. She's driving now for five weeks. Now, if you get a light by the way, her car wasn't in an accident. They were mistaken. Just to backtrack on the first story, her car's fine. So if you get if you get past a red light's proper. She's driving. She's driving for five weeks, and she has never driven to where my mechanic is. She's driven to the area. My wife says, Oh, it's by the Mexican restaurant that we like to go for the little hand handmade tortillas. So it's it's a block past that, but not exactly. Directions was more like, this is the general area. I said, all right, Jess, follow me. So I pull out and I live on a street that opens up at the end of the block. You gotta turn on a busy street, right, So I get across and make the left, and now this cause coming. She can't make the left, so I I pull over. I'm waiting. She finally makes the left. I get to the corner. Three cars have cut in front of her. She can't see him in the left turn lane. So I call her, and I say, because she stopped, so it's safe to call her. I say, hey, I'm making a left here. I'll meet you by the post office. I don't need to meet you. I know where I'm going. Okay, all right, So I I drive up the block and I'm going up the hill. She's not behind me. I said, all right, Well, maybe she missed the lights. I pull over. Not there. Oh my god, She'll be behind me in a minute. So I'm driving like twelve miles up the hill. Not behind me. I call her, no answer. I text her, no response, and that's fine. She's driving. She doesn't want to call or whatever. Okay, I go down the hill. I'm driving really slowly, caused a honking at me. I pull over. I'm in the right lane. I keep checking my review mirror, my ref not behind the right right. I put my blinkers on, so people who go around me because I'm waiting for right. I know where she is. So I get there and I parked in the guys the lot that he has, and I'm waiting, waiting, waiting, and oh no, get this. So I pull over. At the bottom of the hill. I make the left. They pull over and I see the traffic light behind me where you'd make the turn onto this final street. Right street starts with an H. So I see a car that looks exactly like her car, three thousand green volks Wagon. Right. Make the turn, and as I'm pulling out of the spot, she knows my car, the car that I think is hers, flashes the lights at me, like, hi, Dad, I see you. So I pull out. She's right behind me. We go the block and a half past the Mexican restaurant and I wave, I'm pulling in here to this lot. I pull in and the person behind me in the car looks like my daughter's car goes straight. I go, what but she saw me turn in? I text her, I call her nothing, text her I call her, no response. I'm waiting in the street and waiting in the street. She comes back down the down the other hill, and I see the car that looks like my my, my, my daughter's car make a right the block before where I am. So I'm like, she's going to circles. What the F? How does she mess this up? I'm calling her, calling her straight to voicemail. Ten minutes later, she pulls up, pulls onto the driveway into the lot. I what were you? I was worried. What are you talking about? I called you. I'm not answering the phone when I'm driving. Good girl, Okay, right, I said, I saw you. You were right behind me. No I wasn't. You flashed your lights? No I didn't not. Okay, it's fine, I said, we were you. I can't. I drove like two miles an hour. You're supposed to be behind me. Oh, I don't like driving up down the hill. So I took the parkway. So she went a quarter a mile south, that on the parkway east, and in quarter a mile back north. So she was never behind me. So I said, you're supposed to follow me. I knew I was going. No, you didn't. I said, when people are following each other, the rule is you follow them, and if you're not going to follow them, you tell them, so that I'm not driving like an old fart five min in my Dodge Charger with a hemmy okay, I got a car. Poor guy. Okay, so poor baby. So here's my so not not able to open up this car. So I asked my question number one, isn't the rule if someone's following you, they're following you. Second of all, no apology. You know what she says to me, That's not how I do things. So I said, really, you've built up quite a way of doing things. In five weeks, you're driving a car, you're already setting your ways far Wait she's driving a car five weeks at least, Wait till your forty and become a crotch andy old man like your dad. Fuck you, you can't tell me that's how I do things in five weeks. She's never followed. The problem is she takes after you. She picked up that language from you, so you only have yourself to blame. Oh, believe me, My daughter is is very much me. Okay, well there you go, But I don't want to live with me. You know what. My mother is just like me. You heard her on the podcast episode one with my mother on the Phone. My daughter is augumentative, and but I apologize occasionally. You breeded your daughter bread, your bread daughter breed what is sher horse? Still bread? By the way you breed her, you born did her? She was born and bred. Yeah, you adulted her. Oh oh, speaking of which, this is a great story. So speaking of payback is a bit. My daughter gets same daughter. You know I have a few of them. She gets hired two. She has been babysitting this kid a couple of nights for the past few months. So she gets a job from the same woman. Says, I need you to come to my house in the morning and I'll get the kid dressed. And when she's dressed, because you you've been driving for five weeks now, you'll drive her to school because she's got to be at school long after I have to go to work. They're calling me an early. I can't wait around. I can't take it to school that early. You'll take it to school. So the kid doesn't want to go to school. She's yelling. She will get in the car. The kids six six years old, Okay, my daughter, sister, you gotta get in the car. I gotta take you to school, and then I gotta leave. I have responsibilities. Get in the car. The six year old says to my daughter, UM, my body, my choices. Wait, that doesn't apply here. In other words, she didn't want her body to go in the car. She gets to determine where her body goes. She's taking a common stance that applies to other things like sex, and she's trying to she's trying to here on. So her mother, her mother has empowered her to like be like totally independent, but not at six years old. So my daughter says to her, listen, honey, you're six years old and I'm an adult. Get in the car. And so she's telling me the story. She goes, I'm turning into you. She said. I realized now I'm almost an adult. I just yelled at this kid and said, you're a kid, get in the car. But the kid actually said, my body, my choices, my choice. Year old dead. Oh, I'd tell you some stories, but that's why I'm not having kids. Um um, okay, So I got you got a choice now of of two other rants, I got two more. I got three rants. One of them is about curb enthusiasm. Hold on, is ripping me off? The tree guy fucked me? Or or stupid things you're doing a parking lot. I have a pet peeve, parking lot, pet peeve. I want parking lot pet peeve because I probably will agree with you. All right, parking lot, So we'll save the tree guy fucking me because he comes to my house tomorrow. Let's see if he fox me twice this week or just the one time yesterday. What happened. No, let me give you the curb your enthusiasm. So we have a bathroom out here by Anita in the front, our receptionist. And in that bathroom is a fancy soap dispenser, like a pump that you buy like a bed bath and beyond. It's way too expensive for soap. It's just give me this liquid soap and a pump and call it a day. And it's got one of those pumps that if you push it down and it turns, it locks, and when you first buy it, it's like clicks and it won't pump and it's sticks and it's horrible. And every time I use it, I say to Anita, Hey, Anita, if anyone calls and wants to know where the worst soap dispensing pump in the world is. It's in that bathroom. And this has been a joke for like six months because every time that pump is empty, they buy another one. I think they got a closet for another one. So Curb Enthusiasm Sunday Night. Very excited it's been off what six years? Five? Being right? Okay, very excited to hear it. The show opens, Larry David's in the shower, topless. He's a bony old man, by the way. I love you, Larry, but you know, and he's trying to for some reason, don't ask me why. He's got a soap dispenser in the in the shower and he's trying to pump soap into his hand and the thing won't come up. It's stuck, it won't unlock, and he's banging it and he's banging it and he's banging it, and he throws it on the floor and cracks it and then pours the soap out of the broken top. I did that. There's no way. There's no way he ripped you off because he doesn't. Is he eaves dropping through what I'm saying is what I'm saying is my life has come to the point full circle where I'm a Larry David, to the point where I thought I thought I was doing his stuff. Now he's doing stuff that I'm doing. That's bad. You a feather, right, But everything in the episode, oh my god, the husband, the bride and the groom thing, Oh my god, the bride and the groom thing, I absolutely don't. I won't tell what it was. No, no, no, no, no, I won't know spoilers. But here's what he I'm not gonna tell you what he does. No spoilers. I never spoiled. He gives an opinion to someone he shouldn't give, and then he can't help himself. He keeps giving it. He's like, I understand, I'm because this is the I have the same problem. You understand it's not politically correct, you understand it's wrong, but you know you're right, so you say it even though you know you shouldn't say it, and then you act like every episode, Oh, it's great, it's great. Okay, here's my problem. It's my parking lot pet peeve, especially if you go shopping. But if you're not shopping, I still don't get it. Okay, when you pull into a parking space right, You drive into a parking space on a scale of one to ten. To pull in, it's about a one right. And to back out of a parking space, not not at a concert where the parking lots crazy, but a regular shopping mark home, deep supermarket. To back out of a parking space and and and look both ways when you back out, wasn't it too a threewt? Now? To pull out head first? It's easy, But the cost of pulling out easy is backing into a spot. There's nothing wrong with that. Hold on, but yes, there is backing into a spot. If you're not good at it, okay, or even if you're average at it takes you three moves and it's much harder than the benefit of pulling out. Plus, you idiots, If you back in, your doors don't line up in the right spot when you open them, and you're likely to hit my car. I find that's a problem because I want to park a certain like if I park angled away from the car to my left so his door won't hit me. Now you park and your your doors are gonna hit me. Right, You can see how the doors. Don't like because because it's a driver's side, driver's side, but it's a guy next to you. People don't think about this, and that you see them realize that when they get to their car with their shopping cart. If you're going shopping and you have an suv or a minivan or like a hatchback, why wouldn't you put the hatch back on the shopping cart side when you get to your car. Now you want to put all your groceries in the back, but you can't get to the back of your car because your front of your car is in the front. That I find dumb dumbs that that's stupid. If you're buying a lot of groceries and stuff, then why would you back in and put the trunk if you need to access your trunk. Absolutely agree with you. I'm at home depot and this guy buys an air conditioner and his trunk is in the front the back. If I'm at a concert or baseball I can say that I didn't say that I didn't, but I'm saying the exceptions of the rule. If I'm at a concert baseball game, I am backing the favor because you know, people are people are not gonna let you back out with a line of cars behind you. Totally get it, that makes sense. But if you back in and it takes you four moves to back in, it isn't worth it for the ease of pulling out later back in, And if you haven't got a backup camera, you certainly shouldn't be backing in. All right, that's all back in is stupid, That's what I'm saying. Dumb, dumb, It's just dumb. Your doors are hitting my car and you try in the back. What the hell's wrong with you? By the way, I don't know about you, but I'm getting more uh spam text messages than ever before. Fuck you tree guy. That's all massive. I'm getting like express off the entire store right now through Monday, just before that, and invite to some bar. Here's a murder mystery dinner on Friday, like Brodie. I swear to god, it's it's the telemarketer things and the robot calls. First I started my home phone, and now it's on my cell phone, and now they're texting me because they cannot get through to my phone. I don't know what's going on here. I don't know who's selling my name my phone number to people, but an all time all time and I know people listening. It's the same way. Okay. So I have two things to one to agree with you. Um so I told you the story about my daughter, like may have gotten into an accident. So the guy, the the officer tells me there's a police report in seven days. You can check online and look at your police report. By the way, dollars to check my damn police report for an accident my daughter where he wasn't in Okay. So I'm expecting now it was allegedly and she was involved in an accident allegedly with a guy driving a rental car. The rental car guy he doesn't want to expect. He doesn't want to give back the rental car damaged, so he says he got into an accident. I believe he's lying. He saw my daughter's car. It's a little banged up. I got her car because she's the first time driver. That has a couple of dents in the back, which, by the way, I took pictures of the dad gave her the car that a date stamped. There's not a scratch on the car that wasn't there prior to this guy claiming he was in an accident. Okay, I have not been contacted by my insurance company or by the other insurance company. It's been a week now. My new phone from Verizon gives you like two weeks or a month of free caller I d where it tells you who's calling. So my phone goes off yesterday and it says insurance company. A go insurance company. I better get that. Maybe it's the other insurance company right, it's listed with Verizon is insurance company. I picked up the phone and hang hung up before I got to it. So I'm like, well, I'm better to call it back and tell him who I am and why did you call? Maybe it is some news. I called back and it says no operator, no company name. Let me see if I have the voicemail of the voicemail and be great hold on, No, no, it's not a voicemail. I call them go and said they said, uh, nobody, we have no operators available to take your call. Um, please leave a message at the beat with your phone number. Push one to unsubscribe Liker scam. So I google the number if you press one, don't want to sell me? A cruise. So I google the phone number and it's all results of like complaints against this number. It's a scam. There's a really wonderful app. LVS introduced it to me. This couple of the one a couple of them. One of them is Intellius, which is great. Uh. And then there's true color. True color is amazing. Yeah, I guess you download that one. And then the when a phone number comes in it actually has spam major spam alert and with a big little red circle with the line through it, so do not answer this call and it comes up and red. It's it's amazing. By the way my screen turns, I would imagine nobody knows what that's called. I'm gonna google that in a minute and find out what that's called. The red circle with the line through it. It has to have a name, do not like to me as a kid as a kid, it was always the Ghostbusters thing, right right right? But no ghosts. So it's the no. It's the no symbol. But it's got it must mean like a hexadon. It's like, it's gotta have a name. Maybe it does. I know, I know hex means five. You know, AMers is right? Yes, I use it. By the way, the ampersan is one of the greatest inventions for Twitter because instead of writing and you always use the ampersan. And the san is a symbol. If you don't know, and it's it's a it's the It looks like backwards s to it looks like a script with a line like a dollar sign. Listen, people know what an ampersan is. They don't they know what it is. Now that we've said, it's like, oh, I know that thing. I use that every so when I worked it's an amberson. I taught people something that day today hashtag ampersand hashtag on this podcast what an amber sand is? Um text me hashtag with the Amber sand. Hold on a second, Am I saying it wrong? Brody? You're gonna correct me on that Amber Sand. Okay, I'm gonna tell you why Amber Sand Do you put a T on the end of it? Again? It's Amber Sand, Amber Sand, amper, not Amber, not an amber alert. It's a mp E R S A N D A person. I got a leg up on people that didn't know what that was at the beginning of this conversation. You gotta legged people know we're adding tea everything. Well, when you do, okay, the number sign is now pound. It used to be number sign. It still is number sign or people call it pound or now hashtag. Well it's pound because that's the symbol for a pound in England on the phone. On the phone, it's a pound. But that same symbol is called hashtag. Actually no, yes, technically that's not called a hashtag. Hashtag is yes, it's no, it's no. Oh no, I'm telling you number sign. Hold on. Technically the number sign or the tic tac toe board, it's not called a hashtag. It's called a hash and it's a hash mark. And then you're tagging your post with a hash. So people have been saying it all this wrong all this time on social media. When you say once you've applied it to something, it's a it's should actually say hash it's a hash and you've tagged it. It's a hashtag. It's like a it's like a luggage tag. People don't speak that way. They say hashtag. I understand that, but a luggage tag on your luggage is not it's not a one word. Luggage tags. Boy, if they tag for your lugs should be hashtag. Brody and scary hashtag scary Jones. Hashtag Brody is scary hashtag tribe No, okay, so then, but it's really hash try but it's a hashtag the same thing, like it's an a t M isn't machine, not an a t M machine, because that's a machine machine. You're in the I c U unit. He's in the I c U exactly. So it's hash scary Brodie. It's a hashtag as you using it as a tag. But but the symbol itself, if you saw the symbol, it's a hash. So the other one is star, so it's star. Star is also asterisk asterisk star, but pound is now hash and Amber sand is something you all learn today from me on this podcast. Okay, spell asterick a s t r i K. You just said as trick a S. I didn't say as trick. You said it's something that you do with your wife. That asterick is a s t e r i K asterick wrong. You spelled it wrong the first time, and then a different way the second time. Another way, how do you spell you spelled it the first time and s t e R No, you said a s t r you left that I did not roll back this tape, I said, Okay, s t e R I. The first time you said a S t R people, I want you to tweet us and tweet at Scary Jones let him know. Second time. The second time by so you messed up Amber sand and your big lesson, and then you then the third time you spelled. Don't grammar police me on stuff I'm teaching people. Then dropping knowledge, you can dropping knowledge with it. You're dropping knowledge with an end with no ka at the beginning. That's what you're talking to me about about about what you said it. I didn't spell asterik. Okay, the problem is you're pronouncing it wrong asterisk. That's right, you're leaving the S out. It's a s t e R I s K. I guarantee people I got I got closer than anybody would have. Okay. Your problem, and Elvis gives you craft for this all the time, is you say stupid ship and then you defend yourself. Like I said before, Remember I complain when people go I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks that way. You always go, I've bet a lot of people are stupid. Fine, and by the way, you're not stupid. That's what I meant but scary. It's basically saying thank you so much, by the way, for all the awesome Apple iTunes reviews. We're up to like reviews, but we need more because we're not charting yet. So I want to crack that top two hundred. Did you see the garbage at the bottom of Apple iTunes charts? Can we get like one? I just want to make the list of Apple's top two hundred podcasts. You know how people say that top one fifty. You know how people say, you know, I'll let someone else do it, someone else take care of it. We looked at our numbers recently, and I don't want to say too much, but between eight and ten thousand people listen to our last episode, which is good right now. Now, now that'll go up as people listening to back episodemulatively for the month, which is how we're measured. We're doing really well, really well, and we are so excited. Thank you for the loyalty. We're very surprised. We have no idea why you like us as much. What we love that you do with it. But it doesn't translate in Apple iTunes reviews, because the more reviews you get, the better get moved up and more people will see you. And if we have more people listening, we get more budget and we gotta we gotta, we need those downloads. So if you listen to us on Heart radio, that's awesome, but also subscribe to us on iTunes. Listen to us on I Heart, but you know, subscribe subscribe on iTunes so we get that credit. I want to see us crack that top two hundred, sixty is nice, but when you have ten thousand people, sixties not so much. Yeah, exactly, you want to be next week on the list, I want to just make I'll I'll be number two hundred. I don't care. But we're definitely better than half those podcasts on there. And I'm not trying to blow my own horn. You are, by by the way, if you could, you'd never leave the house, wouldn't we All as guys, I knew a guy who could do that. He was very flexible. He was like, how did that come up in conversation? Yeah, I think we were drunk at a bar. Once, he goes, you know why, I could ask my own d really, why would he tell people that? He told us? H It's kinda be weird because is that because his D is so bigger, he's so flexible, flexible, he's like double jointed. If you ask your own D, does that mean anything? I mean, I mean, you like D. Does that make you a D sucker? I don't. I don't want to get into if it makes you gay or not. No, I didn't say that, but I want to. I'd like being gay means you you're attracted sexually to other men. That's other men. But what but what about if it's yourself? I don't think that makes no. I don't know that's but this was not this is going off script. By by the way, if you can ask your own day, do not tweet us. We don't want to know you know someone's going to And if you don't know what that means, google urban dictions. The whole point of this part of the conversation is, if you can, it would be awesome, really awesome if you left yourself, if you left us a nice little review. I thought I thought you said, if you can, it would be awesome. Okay, everyone listening just thought you were saying that guarantee. I was referring to Apple iTunes reviews. If you can subscribe to us on iTunes, give us the like there that would be great, give us some love by leaving review, and then maybe we'll maybe we'll appear on the Apple Top two podcasts. By the way, that is my goal, and by the way, other people have said unrealistic goals for other podcasts. I don't want to be a part of it. I just want to be able to be seen on the Apple chart to see you know what we we we mattered at the top two. By the way, we're talking to you specifically, we want you to go to iTunes. Yes you are you listen to the tin. I listened to a podcast that is nothing to it our morning show. I listen to Someone said, oh, you listen to podcast, and the person on the podcast went this, said they opened the podcast. Hey guys, how y'all doing today? You never talked to a hundred people at once, because that one person in the car isn't Hey you guys. I don't think I've ever done that. We just come out with it. We just come out with Sometimes we don't even realize the microphones were like at the beginning of this, I don't even realize we were starting, but you started with you didn't notice. I turned the screen where we record, so you didn't see it head on? Yeah, fucked me. You tried to get your name in there first. Well it belongs first alphab don't you worry. You got you got something coming back and what Yeah, you know what you learned ampersand today. No, you didn't need no. I thanks to me because okay, describe what it was if it was, by the way, not the audience, the person listening, person listening. Hey, you learned it properly because I'm here for you. Otherwise you would have gone to work and said, well, I just learn what ampersant is or an asterisk us email because I read them at the Brooklyn Boys podcast at Gmail doc but you know, more importantly email please really alright? Tweet us social media at David Underscore Brody at Scary Jones. I see all the love. You're more vocal than I am. I right back to everybody. I give everybody a heart. Yeah, that's nice. That's like like I like like, I like me like, all right, Scary Brond, You'll see you next week. Who are yeah those guys Brooklyn Boys Boys? All right? Thank you Diana Clark and Marine Dan for sending in the birthday list for October. You can't the birthday list. Here it comes the October birthday list. You can't stop me. Happy birthday to Caitlin today. Also to marry George Oh, Michael Jane He also don't forget O. Check on Rony, Robbie Millburn, John Ballentin, Melissa Bradock, Dan dan Burns, Sony Curtis, Brittany, Fuck you, Brodie, Brittany Bretty Middleton having a birthday. Jessica Latrelle No, Andrea no, fuck off. I got him in