#96 I Farted On My Husband's Penis

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Speaker 1: Guess who just got bad today? The Brooklyns that it's been away. They both have so much to sing, you know their names Obscuring Sock in Town again ninety six. It's the word podcasts and the music is really loud. Do you know who sings this song originally? Well, first of all, you don't give me the title the original song. The points are back in town? That wow. Well, some people don't know that that's a real song. You know. Some people think that that's a just as you know, like an origine you know what song. People don't get the title right on ever, Lee Greenwood Proud to be in America because the song is God Bless the US. Right, it's not proud to be in American. It all play that every fourth of July ago, play Proud to be in America. That's not the song called. Yeah, if you cared that much, you'd know it was Lee Greenwood, God Bless the boys are back in Town. Who did that? Well, I'll tell you. Bon Jovi did a cover song cover version of it, your original song. You don't know, really, I don't thin Lizzy Finn Lizzy, Yes, isn't that a car? No as a tin? Lizzy? Yeah, the tin Lizzie was a car. Okay, who was a car. It was a real car. It existed back in the day. So I think the band took the name. No, I don't think so. Finn Lizzie. Why don't you look that up. I don't tweet him. Oh yet. I don't want to do that yet yet. I do want to take it all fired up. No, I'm not gonna get fired up. I do want to tweet. You're gonna be nice, I'm not. I'm gonna be This woman was very nice. He I just want to I want to just put it out there. I'm not going to mention her name, but she had a concern about that don't tweet me thing. We'll talk about that later, but not in a negative way. I just want to let you know that you never know how people take things. I want to just clear the air. So if there's anyone else like this woman, they get into that. Yeah, speaking of clearing the air, what is this text we just got When I was dating my now husband, we were cuddling naked and I farted on his dick. We're both mortified, and so I just said to him, that's the only blow job you're ever going to get that's funny. Okay, So in in in what position were they? Was she sitting on his chest? No, that he was big spoon and she was little spoon. Oh they were just spooning. Yeah, oh you left that out? Did you say that? Well, she says, we're cuddling. We were cuddling naked, and I farted. She could have been she could have been laying on top of him, chest to chest, you know, but you can't cuddle that way. So you cuddle with with her like laying on top. Yeah, face to face. But then her ass would be in the air air, and then it wouldn't be near his penis. It would if his penis was in the air. Air bir, I'm I'm, I'm nineties. You want me to call her, I'll put her on right now. What if she was sitting on his lap? Let's find out. Let's call. I want to know this is unplanned, all right, but we're gonna tell her what our theories are. Then she can say who was right? Okay, all right, let's get she answers. She might be completely disgusted to hear from us. Hopefully she foughts on her husband's dick. She's not gonna be discussed by os. By the way, hash hashtag foughts on her husband's dick number. Yeah, what area code? You say? The area code to await? What's that? I don't even know. I'll look it up. Don't tweet us? Hold one, I said that, you go ahead and tweetus, even though I already think this is her number? What's her number? Two? See if she answers, she might think she butt dialed Idaho, Idaho, Idaho? Potato a potato fart? Hello, you really did fart in your husband's penis? Yes? Who's yeah? What's your name? Yes, hey Less, it's scary Jones and Brodie. It's the Brooklyn Hey, hey less Less. We have a lot We have a lot of questions. By the way, less is more, we have a lot of questions us right, L E S S Yes? Yes, yes, like leslie less? Yes? To know what it is? It short for anything. It is short for for Leslie. But I prefer to go by less. That's so I could say you get more with less. That's les Apparently you do get more. Okay, all right, so here here's where we we We just debated before we called you. You'll be able to hear the full debate when you listen to the podcast do you do? Do you listen to the podcast at all? I haven't um now this episode, and then go back to say, here's the thing, so less you live in Idaho, I do well, I just moved the spoken valley. But okay, very good, Okay, okay, So you're so you're texting in about we're having a conversation on the morning show about pooping with the door open or pooping in front of your spouse, right, your significant other. That's what you're texting in about, right, Okay, So we saw that, we saw the text message, and we're recording our podcast, and from time to time people will text in for our podcast at the time they think we're recording, which is usually eleven o'clock East Coast time on a Thursday. But you're you're responding to what you think is the live morning show at eight o'clock in the morning, and spoke Cane. But but basically three time for you? But when when for you? You got the Brooklyn mots. I mean, yeah, you're here with us. You could and you could curag, you could say more, you could be more expressed. So, first of all, the welcome when ever to read that on the air. By the way, first of all, congratulate since welcome to the podcast. Second of all, you now have a new favorite podcast. We suggest you start from episode zero listen in order, but start with this episode because you're on it. Now. Here's what we were now. Someone who texts into a radio station that she farted on her husband's penis uh. First of all, we love you. Second of all, probably not shy, which is great. So so well, my guests, you already also have tattoos. Of course you're open. Do you smoke? You have like a smoker's laugh. I do have it. Well, I just got over a cold, but I am a smoker. Yeah, we got that. We got the whole picture. Unless I'm painting pictures as we speak. Oh oh, you're okay. Based on the fact you you've farted on five seven by five seven, I'm six ft okay, so that changes now the angle we were kind of okay, six ft tall. We can't guess six ft tall. Brownie and I have different theories, okay, we painted different pictures of how this. Okay, you said you were cuddling with your man at the time and you farted on his penis. Okay, okay, hold on, hold on, we want to guess. But okay, so don't tell us how you were in position yet. Okay, don't say anything scary. What was your theory? My theory was, and don't say if I'm right or wrong yet. My theory was, he was playing big spoon, you were playing little spoon. Don't say thing, and you just went right because it was it was right there, and then that was okay. And then you made your comment that's the only thing right. That was just a brilliant, very fun very funny, very funny. Um. My theory was it was possible you were laying on top of him, chest to chest, face to face, the cheek and your your butt was in the your butt was in the air as and his his his penis was in the air by your dry air, and you farted backwards onto his penis. So, um, are one of those options correct? Of the just which one's correct? Yes? Sorry, I suck at this. I'm also plauded. I should point that you just said you don't suck at it all right, all right, so now drum roll, which way was the correct way that you did that? Wait for hand, tell us that first one, what's scariously you were spoon farting? What you're spoon farming? You spoon Okay, all right now paint the picture for us after you spoon farted, did you like turn around, like look over your shoulder and like oops, sorry made the comment? Or did you play it off like he wouldn't notice who noticed it first? Did he comment? Well, okay, here's the deal. Um, I fart like a bro. I grew up like um, like the son my dad ever had. UM, so I far re burped like a champ. And so it wasn't like a cute little it was like it was like an earthquake, a big one. Yeah. Yeah, it's just like that. Um. And we were we were spooning, and you know, we had just got done um loving each other and you could say you're on a podcast now sex whatever on the radio. Yeah, And we got to the point where we were like super relaxed, you know. And I rolled over and and he was a big spoon and he made sure that his um penis was perfectly in between my two butt cheeks like he always does, because it has to fit in just well, you know, like like a puzzle. Um. Yeah, and then so super relaxed, right, And I like, some think that it's gonna be no a whole time. I think it's gonna be silent, no forgeting special. There's nothing special cigarettes after right, No, sometimes I know I fired apparently, but I I, um was super relaxed, and I thought it was gonna be a silent one, so like a little proof of avery, you know, maybe, and then it turned into like a ten second just oh my god. And then and then we both like I could you could feel us both like tensing up, you know, I like we're both looking at the same wall. He's probably looking at the back of my head. And I kind of freaked out because we had like we were still new in our relationship, and so I was like, the only thing I could think of to say was, well, that's the only blow job you're gonna get. Wow. Well, because you made it, you turned it into a funny mind. I see that. I see what you did. Okay, all right, So how how on were you dating at that point? No? Maybe, okay, so you're dating a month. He's already got stick, right, He's got a routine where he puts his you know, he puts it in between the buns. Like you said, he's already got a routine worked out, so your your guys are comfortable enough, you have a routine, but you thought you thought it'd be okay for us, a soft, silent one to come out. You were that comfortable in your relationship. I'll just go on him, no problem. Um. By the you said, it was ten seconds long. By second number five, you're halfway. He still did he did he pull away? Or he's just like did he think it was gonna stop? And it just didn't Like did he move where? He just took it. He just took it. He was frozen. And by the way halfway through, you must have been like, well, it's all coming out now, I'm just gonna let the rest of it out. Yeah. I just kind of give the last like half a good push because you because at that point you're figuring, you know, what the hell are just gonna make I'm really really on this moment, right he had he hadn't left. He hadn't left you at that point, so all right, yeah, right, alright, So like I always say, you get more with less, so I had to prove that point. I'm like, all right, well here we go. We're already committed. So so does has that happened since? So that was just a one timer? Oh, it happens quite a bit. So now now he's expecting it, I'm assuming now he's like, what that's usually? Um? Actually actually, um, he's made me the big spoon recently. Yeah. Now is he farting on your penis? Why don't no? Sorry? So um, um, no, he's not farting. Well, actually he has parted on me a couple of times, except for I don't have a penis, so of course, I mean we have part wars sometimes still touch having me a lot. I don't know. He's just be become like super comfortable with our relationships. So like, um, the only thing in regards to the radio, when they're talking about like pooping and and whatnot, we try to like respect it because each other eats a lot of spicy food. But sometimes we just have to go busting in and like you know, yeah, you guys like us the bathroom with each other. Okay, which, by the way, was the topic on the here's my concern. Now, if you both eat spicy food, aren't you worried of a possible accident? In that moment when he's cuddled in the buns the dog. No, not on my end. Well, lest we definitely got more with you, that's for sure. You are fantastic. We are wonderful. This might be the best call you've ever gotten on the Brooklyn Boys podcast. I know you're you're not you don't. You don't live in Idaho any longer, but I'm I'm newfound respect for Idaho. Yeah. Yeah, they they make us pretty good here. Um, we don't really care about anything, to be honest, I actually um looked to you guys up a long time ago because um, I wanted to talk to you guys, and I wanted to like apply because I heard there's an opening, and then I read all your qualifications like, oh yeah, I'm not qualified. That's quart on people's dicks. Well listen, if ever there was an opening that was interesting, it's the one you've provided and talked about. Thank you so much. Last last, You're fantastic, awesome, We appreciate Remember listen to the Broken Boys podcast episode and then go back to zero and started over. I will, I totally will, and you guys, you guys are my favorites on the morning show. But don't tell anybody actually you can tell everybody, well, thank you. Well, there even more reason for you to listen to This podcast will be released later this afternoon. It's not up yet. Yeah, we're still doing We're just going to release it right on you us. Okay, greatest woman ever. I don't know how to top that. I think we should just go home, right. I know you're not a big fan of marriage, but you marry a woman like that, you do that is something else, That really is something else, that's you know what. God bless them for having the kind of relationship ship that they can. They can. U don't be a shard ass that they can. H Did you catch it? Okay? That they can fart on each other's private parts and still be in love. He's fun six ft tall. Yeah, it's got tall, he was. No more calls, no, but there are some texts coming in. Uh. Nice to virtually meet you, guys. I'm Christina. I'll make this short because your time is so valuable. I work in account receivable, the most account is eviable, the most boring job ever. My co workers listen to me giggling at the two of you. Joe to the two of you joke and uh, we aren't allowed to laugh here. Wow, what kind of work environment is that? Thank you for giving me a reason to laugh at work. I need more of your rants, Brodie, all right, you say what I think. Also, vegetables the worst? Okay, I'm sure she's and I'm sure she's in a healthy state. Can I tell you about Oh? Here he comes. Keep teasing Scary for his generalizations generalized like the one I just made, and especially around spruce. Scary has got a heart of gold. Gregg t is great, but best on air, not the Jersey kid on the podcast hashtag Slice for Life. Christina, Thank you so much. Christina texting in from the nine o eight. That's New Jersey. So I just got yesterday someone sent me this meme. It says, if vegetables is so good, why do vegans always try to make them taste like meat? Is that the gene wilder? That is the gene wilder one? I'm sure he didn't say that, but he's in his Willy Wanta thinking phase. Yes, right, exactly. That's a great meme. Yeah, it's a great meme. So, first of all, it's not really vegans who try to make the vegetables taste like meat. It's companies I think they're trying to get people who aren't vegetarians to try an alternative. I don't think people make the meatless burger going vegetarians are gonna love this. I think they figured they would. But yeah, well, for instance, my daughter's vegan. I know the irony of that is um, but she used to eat eat meat and she enjoyed it, but then made a decision not to eat animals. But she still does like the flavor of meat. Whereas they don't make meat to taste like vegetables necessarily. Why would you It's not a popular thing, right, Oh my god, I had to stake it tasted like broccoli. Fantastic. Yeah, you wouldn't go in the opposite direction. But I understand the concept of the beyond burger. That's the plant based beyond the impossible burger. That's another one. They're competing companies. By the way, Uh, that's a scary Jones stock tip by if you can. Apparently those two companies are blowing up on the stock exchange, and and they're only gonna if they say they could be the next sponsor, they could be the next Apple. By the way, I owe you a jingle from today's fifteen minute morning show, the September five fifteen minute morning show. You slipped in a client on the fifth and I said, hit the jingle, bitch, and of course we didn't because that's not our podcast and we were running out of time. So you owe yourself a jingle. I owe myself slipping of that. You can't mention who it was because then you'll have to play the jingle twice. Go and listen episode today September five of the elvist In fifteen minute morning show and you'll hear us blatant slipping on the other podcast. So you know it's the Germanized vacation I did, although I did spend my vacation fighting with listeners. No. No, looking at you and Gandhi on vacation we were together. No, but you both went on no region cruise cruises, not our sponsor, but a sponsored the big shot to the Big Show. Um, you know I went on the Region Epic. Now you went on the Epic and she went to the Mediterranean on whichever she went to the Eastern Mediterranean right western. You were on the same exact cruise. I went on six years so you can relate? Who can? So I went on the exact same cruise, except um, you got tour guides, and so what we did was we were our own tour guides. We rented cars, we drove. Uh you know, we went as a family of five, so we did things. Um, you know, but you rented a driver, hired a driver, and you went to cities outside the cities where the ship stop. On my hold on a second, why my phone just came out of my pocket is just starting by itself. You reached into your pocket and grabbed it. No, I did not. Are you playing a commercial. I'm not playing. I'm gonna play my client playing me talking about so it doesn't count. Yeah, still, because it wouldn't count. Um, I think we have a uh I mean the middle of telling me about my vacation. So I did not go away this vacation. I went away a few weeks ago to Alaska on non vacation time, and so I worked a decent amount of time on this vacation. I worked Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Uh, finish, you got my intern interviews and going through resumes and doing the final touches on this semester's crop of interns. I do have a few more bad cover letters that as you read those in a little while. Other than that, I got stuff done. Uh. My wife's car got hit in the rear. Um unlike that woman who called little while, this does not sound like a vacation. Well, I got the car fixed, got that done. They didn't. I didn't say, well I didn't go. I hadn't never work. I take advantage of because my wife had to work this week. I went full Ham. No I know you did. Yeah. So, uh, that's remind me of full Ham. That's another thing I'm upset with you about. Well okay, so so anyway, my vacation was very relaxing, but it wasn't quite your vacation. Well is there anyone who didn't see every minute of your vacation listening to this podcast? Right? All right? Well, you know I will say this, Um, it was a lot because we were up at six am every morning, you and the Mrs. Your Girl woman Ms Mrs and Mr. Whatever. Um No, we we got up at like six in the morning, seven o'clock. We were off the ship every day and we were just trying to see as much of Italy, France and Spain as we could, like in ten to twelve hours we were because I had never been Okay, first of all, I've never been in the French Riviera. Just a beautiful area I was. I was like, I got to see Bono's house, Bono from You Too, as opposed to the other three Bonnos. Just in case people don't know who Bono is that listen to this podcast. Most people do, but okay, you always have to reference it. But if they don't know Bonno is, they don't know you two is. That's my thing. Bo That's fine from You Too anyway, he he has a summer house. And is there another riviera besides the French rivera the Mexican Revere? Oh yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, so so I was in the French riviere and then yeah, so when I got to see Nice, I got to see con, I got to see you like freaking this place called As which is top of a mountain, and As is like this like medieval village from the fourteen hundreds. It was like I felt I was full on Game of Thrones going there, and I was in there and I was like walking around the stone little mini streets that are just untouched from like theft undreds. You were the first tourists there since the fifteen there was plenty of stuff going on there. But but it's a hike to get up there. And then and then another day we went to the Blue Grotto and to Naples and a lot of ship oh single most scarier. Well, you just said it the way they say it. They say Capri Capria. Right, that's weird, right, it was. It's a little bizarre, by the way. Speaking of which, you know how we say Naples and it's Napoli. Yeah. For many years I've been kind of ranting just among my friends, and I think it's rude that we refer to Spain as Spain, because Spain refers to Spain as a Spana. Right, if you go there, it's Espania. Why do we call it Spain. It's really nobody's We should have no right to do that. We shouldn't, right, nobody comes hereing and give calls our country something else. Now, United States of America's three with three words, United and States. So I understand why Spanish people translate those words because their words. But Spain isn't a word like Espania. Why are we Anyway, The point is I've made that complaint kind of a joke, like why do we write deutsch Land is Germany? Why do we called Germany? They called deutsch Land? Do you know that? I don't even know that anyway? So Spain. So my point is, My point is Jim Gaffigan is now going through all the talk shows promoting his new movie, and he's I think he's got a book he's doing, He's doing the rounds. And now on those talk shows they go, oh, yeah, I'm doing some traveling. Uh. You know, I just don't understand why wit call uh Espania Spain? Well? Why why are we able to look why aol we change in the name of the country. Who are way to change the name of the country. Just decide we're gonna call it Spain. That's my stick because he listens to you Listen, I love Jim Gaffergan. I'm not saying he stole it from me. He's the same mindset I'm saying. Because he's the biggest star, he gets the credit if people hear me saying that. Now, now that's how life works. Brodie, you know he's fucking me. How do we know he didn't someone he knows didn't say it to him that I know. I know people in the comedy world. I'm in the industry. And when I say the industry, of course I mean the business. So um nothing, oh oh so that I just wanted to just say that I went on this chair lift, which was scary as funk. I don't know if you would have ever made it. That was your nickname in high school. Scary as it's it's like a ski lift. It's a it's a unicular, yeah, but you're it's a single chair unicular. Sorry, it's a single chair on a on a wire like a ski lift, like a ski lift, and you're going up a fucking mountain. But that's what ski lifts do, know. But like, your feet are dangling and this cross this bar comes right over you. It's just a little bar. You could slip out of the seat and follow your death and this thing is is carrying you up. And again you look above you and you're on this and then every like so often because it because it goes the wheels. I hate that, hate that, and I'm like, what chacking? And then and then and you have to time it just right. When you stand in place, there's like you gotta jump on because right the paint prints on the floor are like where you put your feet. It's like running a relay, right, So then when is the next the first chair goes. I'm getting They're like, I'm running out and I put my plant my feet on. The chair comes hits me in the ascid goes. You can't complain anybody because you're already twenty ft up in the air. And yeah, and it just goes, and it just takes. The chair takes you and within like four seconds, you have no you have no ground beneath your no wind beneath your wing. And so so my girlfriend was behind me and all I could hear was, Okay, I don't think I want to go anybody. Oh I'm going because what And it gave her a black and blue the chair the back gave her a huge black and blue in the ass and because because the chair came flinging around and bloom and before she tells us of the chair, she was pissed. When we got up there, she didn't want to come back. I'm like, we have no other way back. It's a three hour walk down the mountain on the staircase. We have to go back. We have to take the chairlift back to face your fears. It was scary that was By the way, there's no such thing as you have to face your fears. You don't have no yes, you do know. I'm afraid of sharks and I'm not gonna get in the water with a shark. I'm gonna fear. I got a chair lift of walking down the dark alley, gat and stabbed. I'm not gonna walk down the dark alley. I got a chair lift taking me up a mountain. Fifteen minutes up a mountain, and the only way back is to take the chair lift back. What do you walk down the mountain? What are you gonna do walk down the mountain? I had to psych her into it. I said, you gotta do this, we gotta do this. She was just let's do it. In the five minute. What was under you? Like the city houses, There was about twenty to thirty feet at any given time of just marshlands and crap. The thing is, if you would have fell into the crap, you would have rolled down the rest of the hill. It was. It was frightening. If this thing goes But the Europeans, holy shit, these kids getting on at four years old. And that's what I had to tell my grandfriend. They don't look at this kid. I'm like, this kid six right, he's getting on a chairless. Look at this father carrying the infant on his lap in the chair. Okay, if you go to third world countries, they crap on their own living room flaws because they don't know. These people were fearless, Brodie, fearless. If you're from a third world country, I apologize. Don't don't be offended going mothers with infants on their they literally standing in place, the chair comes to swipe him up. Yes, you know, because because in America we have technology and we have better things to get us up and downhills. That's the that's the good thing. And the bad thing about Europe is it's old school stuff. It's history or whatever. But they don't update. It's like you go to cities in Europe that are beautiful, updated, modern cities. You walk around Switzerland and they have toilets in the hall. They go into the lou or the water clouse, no, the wc Yeah, in England, and and all that is is a hole on the floor when you walk into the bathroom. You crap into a hole. That's not technology. You go into hotels, the elevator is like a closet. You would you would have been pissed. I tell you that story. I had to put the luggage on the on the elevator by itself. It's like I couldn't get in with the luggage. I don't live like that. How about this, You had a penny to go to the bathroom there? All the public toilets is a euro Tell you something you can find fault with America? All you want you could say, it's not perfect? Is this? Is that what I don't charge you to go to the bathroom. You go to Europe if they're beautiful cities and beautiful countries, but they do not have the level of comfort that we have here. No, you're European. European for a dollar, that's what it is. That's right, you're paying for a buck because I like, I sat there and I said to Rob, and I'm like, Brody would be stuff right now. He wouldn't. He would hold it in. He would be like, wait for someone to come out and grab the door. No, you have to walk to a turnstile. Oh funk that I I poop on the way in. You kem up paying? You pay pay toilets everywhere you go and then there were these places with the people out there. Some of the cafes had signs outside that said, Hey, all you gotta do is spend a year or two and you could use the bathroom for free. You want to euro yarron eight. Yeah, exactly. They were trying. They were trying to drag you into the to buy something to buy like a coffee or a Danish something, and oh, you buy it from us. Now you could use our bathroom. Not gonna happen. Not that I'm not paying. I'll pee right on the side of the building, not doing it, but and and anyway, So the other quick highlights was I got to see the statue of David in Florence, the original one, and I acted like I was twelve. On my instant story, I did the boomerang story that goes by We're kind of focused in out on the penis bouncing back of how much of your vacation do you spend trying to pick the perfect song for every scene in your instant story? Um, a lot of time. Oh there's a boat, I'm on a boat. I did that, Listen. I had to. When I did Bono's House, I'm like I had to do where the streets have no name? How do I not put that on? How do you not? Oh? The Leaning Tower of Pisa? I did too. I did a take one and a take to What songs? Did I use? Brodie? Come on quick? Uh? Come on Eileen? No? Eileen see the leaning? No, we all need somebody to lean that one? And what else did I use? Come on? Lean back? And I could have done lean on me? That's true a few other ones anyway. See, that's where the cleverness comes out of me. I love telling pictures. You telling stories to music. That's the cleverness. That that that that's where that was the That was the big cleverness. Follow me on Instagram at Scary Jones you might laugh. Who doesn't follow you? By the way? Uh? I speaking of followers, So two episodes ago, we asked you guys not to download the episodes, to just listen to them multiple times. If you listen to multiple times, do it on the app, don't download it and do it off off. We don't get credit for those second lists. Well, first of all, thank you very much, because a lot of you must have listened. It was our most listened to episode. And and look at you planning like tell me more on the I Heart Radio by that you can google this every week. You just go I Heart Radio Top one podcasts. We we would flow a flowing, floundering around episode fifty, I mean number fifty and the fact that you guys did not download the last episode. Really really, We came right behind. Number twenty four was the Elvis Strand phone Tap channel, which is a lot of our phone tapps. Get credit for that. Number twenty five was Tanya rad who works for our company on the West Coast. She was in between the Brody Scary Sandwich Scary Brodie Sandwich, no um and so uh. And Garrett who Garrett from our show who does the Celebrity Buzz podcast, came at number forty one. Good for him, he made the charge. That's awesome. We hope you him out on the Heart Radio as well. I did. I sent it to Garret let him know. He was very excited. So thank you for listening. We would like to break the top twenty five. So continue to listen and don't download it. Continue to hit play in the background when you're at work, even if the sounds not on. That'd be great too. It's fine. We'll take what we can get. But hey, thank you for the support. Yeah, what do you got in your hands? Out? Well, I wanted to let you know about what I brought with me. What did I What did I pack? Are you copied me? Because I told you when I went on my cruise, I brought multiple bottles ray bottles of cologne that I bought on sent Berd Yeah, exactly that. I had my tom Forward with me. Um. I also had Kenneth Cole. Which did you went in Monte Carlo? Do you remember product? Oh? Nice, nice product? You know the beauty of scent bird is there is the you know, you don't have to carry a big, bulky bottle around with you. And let's face it, your medicine cabinet is where ever you keep your colognes and perfumes, it's just filled with us, just a junkyard of big over giant bottles, bottles of stuff. And you never use them. You're never gonna go through them. You're gonna die before you get to finish them. I know, that's a terrible thing. You have two options with old school way of doing things. You can buy the bottle and spray on so much that they call you that guy. Oh that's the guy who smells like that every day. Or you can just suck it up and waste the whole bottle, or you can use scent Bird yeah um and without breaking the bank. Whether it's VERSACEI, Gucci or Dulcha and Gabbana, scent Bird uh. Sent bird dot com is this is the site they keep us smelling good month after month, day after day, where you can just wear whatever you like and uma. Because one, you can choose from four fifty of the top designer brands. We're talking real stuff here. We're not talking about knockoffs. We're talking tom Ford Kenneth called but but usable sizes, yes, small sizes, less money, and you can buy more storm more and then you can rotate your your your fragrances. Now you get to choose what you want to try. They'll send you a thirty days supply. That's one hundred and twenty sprays in each bottle, enough to apply more than four times daily for a month. It's sent bird dot com. All right. Now, we want to offer you a special deal because you are Brooklyn Boys. Slice course, you get fifty off your first month. So for seven dollars and fifty cents you get your first fragrance. You go to sent bird dot com slash Brooklyn and to the code Brooklyn off your first month s c E n T bird dot com slash Brooklyn. All right, and get your first Cologna perfume just seven dollars and fifty cents. Okay. I teased a couple of things. You said you were going ham right, and I said, I'm gonna talk to you about that. Hm. It's no secret that I'm Jewish. But there are levels of Judaism, like there's levels of Christianity. There is the pope and then as you you are not the pope, you happen to be Christian? Am I correct? But you do not go to UH services every Sunday? I do not. You do not give up meat for Lent or right, and you don't give up anything for Lent. Really you're not religious. You celebrate Easter because of course, right in a certain way and you but you don't really celebrate Good Friday. You don't go to Mass whatever, and there's no celebration on Good Well you don't the same way. Well you you you don't celebrate, but you honor the do you know me for twenty one years? You know the level of Jew. I am zero. I'm the kind of Jew that likes a good deal, likes a day off, and steals grape soda. I did not steal the grape soda. I said, we're good, loves Chinese food. I'm not kind of the guy, the guy you know you're like, I is Jewish, but I'm fun. I get you a good deal. I'll get your free dessert. Okay. Every time we have traditionally non kosher products around, like pork products, people who don't understand the kosher laws. They just know pork juice, canny, pork. Right. There's a lot of rules to the whole kachh of thing, but pork is the one. Everybody knows. Pork and shellfish right, and and dairy and can milk and you're right, okay, right, you can't have the milk from the at mother's meet and whole thing. Okay, you can't have a cheeseburger with yeah, okay, with bacon. Right. Yet, every two or three times I'm eating pork around you or this food on the table that has pork in it, you go, brody, can you eat that? Because it's just pork in there? And I don't understand It's like when you maman spruce, you majumy you you that's what you do. You you you, that's majew You assume because I'm Jewish, even though you know I eat pork. You've seen me eat sausage pizza, which is a double me. It's the meat and the cheese, and it's non kosher cheese, non kosher meat. I don't keep kosher. Why is it because I'm my own I'm your only Jewish friend? Like, why is it you keep asking me if I'm gonna eat the pork? I want to be respectful. I thought of what, I'm not that religious. That's like seven levels above me. I don't like. But you you you're the first one to take off for the Jewish holiday, so you become religious. I don't take off any Jewish holiday except Russia. See that. See that's offensive to many people. You're making fun of the holiday. They're laughing right now. I hear them in their car. That was another one. That one. That person just laughed because they just got the joker. So I made jokes about Yeaster and I said, oh, it's the day when the women get, you know, yeast infection. That that's not nice laugh right, because you're not religious. I'm not, but one day a year, out of respect to my family, my many generations of family, it's the holiest day of the year, out of respect for the people in my life. I don't work. Is that the only song that you know? Okay, come on, Fiddler on the Roof references again, you're you're you're limited and your racism. You're not racist. You're not racist. And I know that I'm stereotypical here. We don't tweet me. You're like, oh, Jewish Fiddler on the Roof. That's like if I'm like, oh, your Italian sopranos like this guy, fine, and we're okay, with so much more to your culture than but we don't get offended. That's the difference between my culture and yours. Please Jews, please, we were the biggest comedian self deprecating people on the planet. I'm not offended, but laugh when I say Russia Homa, Okay, I said, because I laugh at your ignorance. You're like, takes a smart man to make a joke like that, to take the name of Warton Holiday and minimize it to a joke. It's witty, It's okay. It's not ignorant, it's witty. No, no, it's okay. How do you think how do you think Mexicans felt about Speedy Gonzalez. Think of the cartoon character from Bugs Busy. You are speedy. You are Speedy Gonzal, Sedi Gonzalez. That's what you was. All the stereotypes. Speedy Gonzalez was not stereotypes. He wasn't spoke like that. Hold on, he was. He wore he wore a sobrero. Hello, hello, Okay, there are many there are many stereotypes. People not offended. Hold on, hold on. I don't know if people are offended by Speedy Gonzalez or not, but maybe you can't held offended for one and I'll answer, hold on, speedy. I haven't laughed at Speedy Gonzalez in twenty people. People do laugh at Nobody knows who Speedy Gonzalez is. Now he's not a thing anymore. But it was at a time when Speedy Gonzalez wasn't considered offensive in the sixties. Right, you can't be woke now we've had this conversation. You can't watch old things and go, oh my god, how offense. You can go, oh, how did they get away with that. They were minstrel shows and black face movies that were terrible now and offensive. Well, you know Bill Cosby, please the irony of that. Bill Cosby bought the our Gang TV shows and Little Rascals, so he put them on the shelves and so no one can see them because he finds them to be racist. Now, there are elements of stereotypes in that, absolutely, but at that time they were made. Yes, they were only offensive to a small amount of people, but the masses weren't offended by which why they got away with it. We are much more sensitive and and observant of things. My point is, I don't know. Speedy Gonzalez is a cartoon character that's offensive, so you think that justifies you. He was a French French, but he didn't make fun of French people. He was a skunk, I know, but he didn't talk like you say French people smell sometimes that's not well, he was a skunk. I'm just saying, no, you're just making ship and bugs. Bunny's offensive to rabbits. You know what, porky pig is offensive to people with speech impediments. Okay, by the way, I eat punky pig. Before you ask me if I eat Pokey Pig, I would eat Pucky Pig. But you know what I'm said, Pucky Pig wasn't making fun of speak impediments. He's making fun of pigs with speech. What I'm saying. What I'm saying is we find humor in everything except the one thing that hits a nurse center for us. You, Nope, You're missing the point. I find humor in in in making fun of my my faith, in my religion, if it's clever. What I'm saying is the Fiddler on the Roof thing shows your scope of of of humor when it comes to Jews is limited. It's limited as so many things you can joke about. So are these some are these cartoon characters from the cartoon character I expect two thousand nineteen humor out of you, which is still making nineteen seventies references Fiddler on the roofs from the seventies. I'm just saying, you couldn't come up with the Goldbergs. You couldn't make a joke about something a little more modern, Larry David, something a little more Jewish. We talked about Larry David had nauseum on this pod. Understand that the roof Fiddler on the roof, the three stooges with Jewish. Let's make THEMN references. What was your whole point? We went down a rabbit hole. The whole point is why isn't you asked me if I eat pork all the time? When you know I eat pork. We've shared sausage palm heroes together. Okay, So I asked you if you ate pork? Why do you stop just asking? That's what I'm asking you. I've asked you before. I don't know. I'm not going to ask you anymore. Did your brain go off and go Wait a minute, Brody is Jewish? He doesn't eat You're going to ask you anymore if you eat pork? I would say, nine of Jews eat pork. It's okay, it's only the religious that don't. Okay, Why don't we get the new intern here and ask her if she eats pork? She does now, but when she was religious she didn't. Oh, she does. He left the faith. She's not religious anymore. She totally left it. Yes, that's for the big Oh, and that's that's not for here. She hasn't even been introduced yet, but what a great story. I want to hear her story. She was raised and he was raised. She was raised in an ultra ultra ultra ultra conservative religious Jewish family, where she didn't know what a radio was until she was a teenager and found one and had to figure out what it was because she wasn't exposed, and only because the previous owners of the house where they lived had left a radio in the corner, back corner of an old storage room. That and and it was left there because her family didn't have radios or TVs. How about that? Now that? How about that? That kind of person you could ask about, uh if they do? You know? The doors it was not locked a guest. Yeah, we were just talking about you were not. Yes, we did all remind you how it get s down the Hello Spruce, my friend, how are you? It's after yeah, let's not Hello Spruce, He's fine. How are you well? Stuck? Let's okay? I you could have seen this Spruce stuck his knuckle out at me first, to do a pound right, to do it right? All people fist, it's not wrong with that, it's not wrong. You called me, you said me, you called me brother, just now. I did, yes, but you can't say that to him. The problem is if he comes in and goes, what's up, my boy? You can't go down and have been very cordial. I said, Spruce, yes you can't, but you can't say what's up my boy? Yeah, I'm not gonna say that. Okay, So here's why I brought you. Okay, god, he majewed me, Oh my god. We were out to a restaurant. We went away for Jake is leaving our show. He's moving on our video producer and tough with Gary v at empathy lines his new wine lines. Okay, we're not so tough anymore. Okay we started with. Okay, So we were out to lunch. This is the same lunch where I convinced him that that guy was Eli mannings backup, uh, Daniel Jones, Daniel Jones and even though it wasn't Daniel Jones, and he took a picture with him as great. But at that lunch, some food came around at this Mexican restaurant and oh, you know, everybody, everybody all right, just for you? All right, that's very funny. He go, like Daniel Jones, the backup, corting back on Giants to pretend like he was Daniel Jones. He was very Giants blue. He was six ft five and he was in he was fit, and so I'm like, I want to take a picture with you. Man, you're a big fir looked like Daniel. I went all to him and I said, listen, my friend, yeah, my friends a big Giants fan. I have him convinced that your Dan John's would you just play along and take a picture. And he's like, oh absolutely, And he was with everybody who listens to my podcast already heard the story so quick. He was with a Polynesian looking gentleman like uh, Hawaiian islander maybe and so um. He looked like could be like a lineman in NFL. Like he was a big guy. And I said, and you could be alignment for the Giants. He won't know. He's like, oh yeah great. So I had everybody in on it. Everybody in the morning show was like, that's him, so I said, and he's like, really, yeah, that's and and the guy was like, yeah, that's him. So he would, I said, so he would open to him. He was like, hey, man, you know who you work since you walked in. I'm a big fan. You know I'm a big Jets fan. I mean I mean Giants fan. He said that giants uh. And he said, we knew as soon as you walked in. We knew right away where you were posted on it. He took a picture with him, smile, big smile. It's procesnt on social to him. So he said, Shinny and Graham with him, and the guy had like a giant story. Okay, you gotta go in twenty minutes, yes, okay, okay. So he says, um to me, Uh, there's pork in that bro do eat pork? You don't, he said it to me. Okay, you know me twenty one years, you've seen me eat pork because when you're Jewish, I don't know if you you've you've seen me eat sausage, palm all the time, you've seen me bacon, you've seen pork. Child never asked him again what you think. But he's like all he knows about Jews they pork. He's like brody if you if you have finance any movies lately, like you know, you control the meeting. But it's not even for religious reason. It's okay, it's a noble reason. But I look at it as a dumb reason because because he should be eating pork. He likes pork, he loves barbecue. He's from the South from nobody knows the queue like he does. You're from Louisian and he won't like chicken. Why don't you like pork? Say it's scary? Why why don't you like pork? Doesn't say it doesn't like pork. I don't dislike pork. I just don't eat pork. You don't eat it for what reason? The stupid reason is the long story. You can't just give us the punchline, give us the elevator. Bro, do you know the story? Yeah, he made a promise to somebody. I made it with my brother at the time. This is years and years ago. His brother hates me, but but yeah he does actually doesn't care for me, care for you know what. I really liked his brother and his brother is not is not like Spruce, right, his brother is not funny and late. But I didn't know that. I think Spruce came from a funny family, so quiet, I do. But my brother's funny quiet, like yeah, like the guy, who's that guy sitting in the corner not talking? But I didn't know that. He's a good looking guy too, but nothing like that's the first thing you said. And my brother was like, my brother, he goes to my brother says, he goes, hey, Spruce, you got a good looking brother. Too bad. I can't tell him that. So my brother did like this, he chuckled. But the for the next hour he's trying to make him laugh because I didn't make him laugh. I'm like, right, brother, staring at him like what is this guy doing? He doesn't get because because nobody comes on strong, Spruce rubs people the wrong way. Why you dog pilot, because you're you're the racist. No, you have to know. You have to know you. You have to get to know you and love you. You get to love you after you get to know you. Okay, but you but like upon first meeting, you could really like own a room, run into a room and just like blow the place up because everyone's gonna think, like, who's this fucking asshole over here? They don't get you. They don't could have said they don't get you and leave it at that, but say, who's this fucking asshole? Okay, So Spruce and I at this point had known each other like ten fifteen years were a long time. Twelve years and we're in a comedy studio, and all I know if I've met Spruce's sister, she's funny. I love Spruce's sister, great love. Oh my god, she's off the wall. So now I know his sister, I know him. I've talked to his mom on the phone. She's great. Maniac right, well, yeah, alright, Page, he wasn't maniac um. And so I'm like, oh, one more member of the family. I meet the one with no sense of humor, well at least outwardly out right, so not my sense of human middle child. He's quietly. He's but the best looking one out of it. Listen, if you saw him, you'd be like this guy, you have to say. So I made the comment like shit, like like his sisters, he was defending his brother. He's like he's no, no, it wasn't that he wasn't really it was. The problem is, like what you said, scary. The problem is if maybe I'm wrong he I was too comfortable with him for his liking too quickly. But I'm the kind of person that just likes to be comfortable. But like like like, hey, my house is your house. Yeah. I when I meet people, I want them to know that, like I welcome you, I I am comfortable with you, and I'm an easy going guy. I joke, I laughed pork pork, and so I tried to make a joke like, hey man, he knows I'm Spruce's comedy writing partner. We're in a com the studio. It wasn't in the funeral. So I was like, too bad, I can't said, and he was like he actually know. He actually thought that was funny. Yeah, it's just he kept going, why don't bring him on the podcast? My brother just moved to Nebraska, see what I mean. Yeah, he's a quiet city, an outdoor the question you made a bet with your brother or you promised your brother? My brother was a vegetarian the time. Like I said, my brother's outdoor sports instructor. He's like, he teaches rock climbing, he surfs, all that kind of stuff. He's really fitness mad. And he's got the dreadlocks down here and the bear feet and all that kind of stuff. And he's everything we're not. And he's a vegetarian. And we were at Thanksgiving. We're in New Orleans for Thanksgiving. This is like thirty years ago, and I'm like, we're like, he's I'm eating like gumbo and pam and stuff like that, and he's going that meets gonna kill you and stuff like that. But the meantime, my brother smoked cigarettes, and I said, well that's got to kill you. And he goes, okay, you give up a meat, I'll quit smoking, and I went okay. So I just randomly said pork, right, just randomly said pork. That could have been chicken, could have been No, he's not sneaking cigarettes behind you, but he started smoking again. You should be eating pork, you know, I've been thinking about it lately, like, really, should I eat my first pork podcast? Yes, you know what? A lot of roast pork loamain, no vegetables, you know what. No Spruce and I ought a Chinese food all the time. We should Chinese pork. But he ought his beef. He brought his Lomaine beef pork loin. I don't know what a little show. I don't we'll show him because he started smoking. You start at the pork. I don't know why. I just know after I've been friends with Spruce for twenty one years and I it would make me so happy, And I don't know why it would make me so happy if he ate pull he's smoking cigarettes. You smoke a pork Yeah, smoke smoke. You know what we should go to like a really fine like a barbecue pork rib and FaceTime pork ribs. By the way, Virk ribs never from fun fact. I've never seen you without a hat, and I've never seen you without a Saints sat for that matter, Spruce has a Saints hat in every color, every combo of colors. How many New Orleans Saints hats do you own? I don't know. I've thrown away at least, but I got a lot anything. He could put on the weirdest colors shirt and he's got a hat to match. Hundreds like that. It's twelve o'clock. Yeah, I gotta do session. I gotta, I gotta just I have to. I gotta talk about what happened to me with my insurance company right after this scary I didn't even tell you about the fight I got on into on Instagram with this woman who claimed, but Barcelona is not Spain. Would telling Barcelona is not Spain? I'm like, oh real, and New York is an America. It's a part of Catalonia. And I'm like, look, I get it. They have a strong Catalonian background. I get it they have they identified with that and they were once independent. But I never heard of a country called Catalonia. I said, Barcelona, as of now is still part of Spain. Now, I do realize that Barcelona is trying to pull a Brexit on Spain. They want, they want to be free and independent. But apparently the Spanish government came in and said, they declared, no, you're still it's illegal. They threw all the people in jail on you know, in the movement, and now Barcelona is still a part of Spain. But this woman was going back and forth this season. Is he Catilian? Yeah, Catalonia Catalonian sounds about tell us nota Catalonian sounds like like a chef udy pasta cata. If you go to Barcelona, they, I will tell you a lot of them identify as their own, free, independent people. But at the end of the day, they're still there's still part of Spain. So we get into the whole Taiwan. When you're correcting someone, be right, you're not right, you're wrong. Yeah, anyway, it was we agreed to disagree, and then she she was she was making a political statement by telling me that Barcelona is not but Barcelona is a part of the country. Speaking of being right, I'm having a problem because I can't. I didn't make notes on our last podcast of what I've mentioned and what I haven't. I wanted to do the World series thing, but I don't remember if I did the World series thing. So I gotta go back to this an episode that right. Okay, So I got a lot of stuff to do, but I I teased a couple of things, and people get mad when I tea let's just go hold on, let me just time. I got a couple of resumes. I got a couple of resumes. Let me let me look at my my stuff here that I have to have to read my phone because uh no, I do that now. And I guess I'm gonna save my Edward R. Murrow Alumni Hall of Fame rant for next week. All right, I got a Nordstrom rack rant. Oh, I gotta read the thing about don't tweet me, and I gotta do you know what, Please forgive me. I'm gonna have to bump the resumes. Uh next week. But I am going to do the insurance company RAND. Let's talk about that. And I want to to talk about I don't know you know what I mean, Okay, but I want to You're teeing it up for no reason to talk. I want to talk about them, about the d um. I'm not stopping it now. I want to preface this right. You're gonna be polite. Uh, this is another perspective and we had it ended well, but I want to make sure that other people may feel this way. Uh, that we're on the same page now, Uh, you got you guys know, I always say don't tweet me. I say it right, because a podcast isn't live, and chances are by the time you hear it, whatever correction you were gonna make, I've already looked it up. If I said, oh, what's that actress name? What's that movie, I've already looked it up. Now if I'm wrong, you have a day to correct me if it's something. If I made a mistake, right, But I always say don't tweet me because what happens is a hundred people will be like, oh, that movie was fast, and if you're a seven in case you're wondering like I already know. Well, you know, and we've been over this on this podcast before. You don't have people in order already, so you know it's a it's a stick, all right. But however, so this this person person I commented on social media on something we did not. We did not lose a listener. I got them back because okay, they said, I've honestly stopped listening because on many of the last podcast I've listened to, you've said don't tweet me. I've never tweeted you for a mistake or clarification, but you just seem so aggressive about listeners and their responses to you when it comes to clarifying. Some people do feel that way. I get it. It gets to be too much, I'm sure. However, over and over I hear don't tweet me, so, I wrote back, uh so, and so it's a joke. There is nothing really truly aggressive about me. I respond to every tweet and post people make to me. I only say don't tweet me because a podcast isn't live. And by the time somebody tweets me to correct me something I've already looked, I've already looked it up and it's days later. I hope you will come back to the podcast knowing I'm just joking with the concept of don't tweet me. It's a it's a stick, um, and she wrote, They wrote back, I get it. There are probably hundreds of people correcting. You are trying to fill in the blanks on something you can't remember on the spot. You're very true. It's just that it's seem you were saying don't tweet me over and over again, and it seemed very aggressive and over the top. I've always enjoyed your human rants. But I drive four hours total a day. I guess listening to the Brooklyn Boys back to back to back that don't tweet me things like nails on a chalkboard. I do understand that you have to deal with so many people, but for those that do listen in order perhaps you need to say it, you don't need to say it as much. They should already know not to tweet you. Uh. You responded to me last year about an issue I had, and I appreciate that, and you always write me back on your d M s. All right, I'll give another try. I do miss it, So she does miss the podcast. It's a she by the way, um, and so we have a nice conversation, and I just want to make it clear in case anyone else feels that way. She has a right to her to feel and people who have a right to feel the way they feel. Of course, So if you feel like I'm me aggressive when I say don't tweet me, there's a difference. Just to be clarifying, we're like, don't tweet and don't tweet me. Like. One is me going, you know, I'll figure it out, like I don't need you, don't worry, but I'm good, and one is like I don't want to. I don't like you people. I love you people. That's why I respond to every tweet, every DM, every post. People go like you do tweet, you do? I do. So that's what I wanted to say. Um, I do appreciate feedback when it's constructive and complimentary at the same time. That was good. That's what I wanted to say. That's what I wanna say about that. I also want to thank the person I forget. I apologize. I don't think I I screenshot at it. I screenshot it. No, I apologize. Sent me a sign from their town, a street sign called snowflake court. Oh I think we should steal that sign and put it in your daughter's bedroom. Yeah, okay, I'm not gonna We already talked about that in the Big Show. I'm not bring that I'm bring it up again. Okay. So if if you want to hear it, go to the Elves d Ran Show on demand for September five and you'll hear David Brody talk about that problem. Now. I had a problem because I have a problem with that. But okay, okay, I had a problem with my car insurance company. And uh, some of you already know about it because you followed along, and I do want to get the uh the tweets ready. Oh so here's what people were tweeting when I tweeted at this company. Well, I'll hold off because I want to say because it's part of the story. So I told you my wife's car got rear ended. The car got rear ended, no jokes, by another company, another company, another person insured by the same company I'm insured by. Okay, I go, same insurance come, same insurance company. He hit my my car, So in paying for it, I was basically suing my own insurance company. Okay, Right, all right, no fault of ours. They rear ended us, so no fault. They have to pay for everything. That's right. Okay. So the company's great. They've always been great to me when I've had problems that they raised my rates through the roof and my daughter had an accident, but that's on the story. So uh, I call up then no problem, will take you everything. Okay. So I'm going to get the car and they have Uh. I said, what kind of car can I get? Well, we have a policy. Uh we can you can put get yourself in the same size car that you have. I sail, right, But my car, although not fancy, is loaded. Right. I like to buy a less expensive car with all the options than a more expensive car no options. I like a sun roof, a navigation system, leather interior, even if the car is not an expensive car. Right. I don't have an expensive car, but I like all the options. I like my family to have satellite radio on occasion, uh and moon roof. But in my car. All right? So I said, well, can I get a car with the same kind of options. We don't provide options. We just brought the same size. So I can get Alexis or a link in as long as the same size car. Yes, okay, great, that seems fair. I just want to make sure that my satellite radio is covered. I know that the Enterprise rent the car. Who are you sending me to Enterprise? Come Rento call fantastic by the way, Um, they're gonna charge me because alreadycalled and they said it's UM five nine a day a week. I said, So, I just want to make sure you're covering that because last year my Dodge Charger got rear ended and Credential was the client. They paid for my repair, and they paid for my satellite radio because I was paying for satellite radio and they wrecked my car and my satellite radio was in the shop so I couldn't listen to it. I listen to the news in the morning, as you know. She says, oh, yeah, we can't pay for that. What. Yeah, we can't pay for extras. We can just pay for the car. So I said, hold on a second, I'm already paying for satellite radio in the car that your customer wrecked. So I need you to pay for this twenty five dollars for the week. Well, sir, we can't pay dead. It's a lot of money. Oh, no, no, no for the week. That's all twenty five dollars for the week. So um, just yeah, we can't. Uh, we can't cover that. I said, no, you're gonna cover that because you wrecked my call with satellite radio. You're putting me in a new car. It's gonna have satellite radio because my wife drives my kids around and they like certain programming on the satellite radio. Okay, so you have to replace it. You have to make me even No, we can't add skins policy. Let me talk to you, supervisor. Uh no, sir, I can handle listening. You're not. You're not listening to me. I'm gonna explain this again. I'm currently paying the satellite radio, so you can either pay for the satellite radio I can't use in the car that your customer wrecked. Now, don't punish me because your guy hit my car. I am also your customer and your fucking little go on. Your commercial seems all happy and cheery, except now that I want satellite radio, you're all like fuck you. So I said, if you, if you're really the fun insurance company, you'll pay the twenty five dollars. I'm not asking you for a lot I'm asking you twenty five dollars. Seems very fair. We can't do that. Okay, then you can pay me the twenty dollars that i'm paying for my satellite radio that I'm not using because your guy wrecked my car. Well, we can't do that either. Well you're gonna do one of them. Let me speak to supervisor. Let me go check with my supervisor again. Let me see what I can do. Comes back, Yeah, I can't help you, so I said again, Nope again, she's look, Mr Brodie, want to make you happy, but we have to we have certain regulations here, I said, if you wanted to make me happy, you're a billion dollar company. I know that because you raise my insurance rates three thousand dollars a year for a one thousand dollar accident. So I know you've got twenty five dollars because you made a two thousand dollar profit per year. Next year you'll make three thousand dollar profit on me where my daughter had a one thousand dollar accident damp Street. So you need to pay. I'll go check my my, my, my supervisor one more time. No, No, what's gonna happen is ultimately I'm gonna ask you to speak to the supervisor. And you're not gonna sell this like I'm gonna sell it. Put your supervise on the phone. Okay, no problem, I get Cecilia. Don't tell me that she broke your heart. She tried a nice job. So I said, Celia, here's the situation. Blah blah blah blah blah. Just Mr Brody, we can't We can't pay for luxury, can't pay for extra items, I said. So I started to go. Listen to me, I said, when Prudential hit my car, they paid for my satellite radio. But now because it's Geico, Geico is not gonna pay Geico. You're gonna fun I'm your customer. You should be extra nice to me because I'm your customer and I pay a lot of money to get the get go. So we want we appreciate your business. Apparently you don't appreciate my business because you're not paying twenty five dollars. I'm not asking it two hundred dollars. I'm asking it twenty five dollars. I'm not authorized to do that, sir. You're a supervisor, so what is your What is the benefit of being a supervisor? You get a better parking space or do you have the option to give me twenty five dollars? What does a supervisor do if for not to give me twenty five dollars? Well, we want to make capture, but I can't do that's a luxury item. It's a luxury item. No luxury item would be giving me a Corvette to drive. I want to car the same size of mine. Oh, you just put me what I have you wrecked? I want the same thing, even I want even I just want to want free dessert. Never mind the fact that the car, even after it's repaired, will never be worth the same as it was after it's being repaired because it's been in an accident. So you're also gonna pay me depreciation money for the damage to my car. Oh you have to fill out forms for that. Oh you bet you. I'll fill out forms for that. Whatever might cause been devalued. You're gonna pay for it. Well I have to go through ja ba ba bab. You're gonna pay for it, and you're gonna definitely pay for it because I want my twenty five Just sir. The only thing I'm authorized to do is if you had a bigger family, I could put you in a bigger car than you currently have. Does that have satellite radio? Pulled on? So? I said, how does that make sense? If I have a big family and your your your your contract calls for you to put me in the same sized car already have. Why would I need a bigger car? Don't I already have the car I need? If I have a bigger family, don't I have a car big enough for my family? Why would need a bigger car? Well, that makes sense, sir, you're absolutely right, Yes, I'm right. So instead of giving me a bigger car for my family, A five, I want twenty five dollars for my satellite radio. I can't do that. Well, I'm not getting off the phone with you, and you're not allowed to hang up on me. So I want my twenty five dollars. So is your time worth twenty five dollars? Sir? I think you're being unreasonable. Oh no, no, no, you're being unreasonable. So you're gonna give me my satellite radial? Listen, I said, I said, let me tell you something, Cecilia. At the end of this call, I'm gonna have my twenty five dollars. So how much do I have to yell and how much you have to put up with me because I because you don't know me, trust me, you're giving me my twenty five dollars and paying for my satellite radio. I don't care how you do it. I don't care if you're call enterprise and till the lower the price. I don't care how you work it out. But the satellite radio company isn't gonna charge enterprise because they want satellite radio in their cars, because they can charge walk for their commercials if more people listen to satellite radio. So if enterprise isn't paying for the car rental for the satellite radio, then just tell them to wave the fee. But I want my twenty five dollars wave though somehow I can't. I can't. I can't do that, sir, I said. Here's what I'm gonna do. I have a family decence. I hate to be this guy, I said. I have a fairly large social media following and a kick ass fucking that car, I said, And I have a kick ass podcast that's number twenty six on the top one that when I yelled, plays music like this. So here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna go on social media, and I'm gonna rip your your company and your asshole. And I said, asshole, I'm gonna destroy you on social media. Well, you're gonna wish you paid me twenty five dollars. I'm gonna throw ship on your company left and right because you don't want to give me twenty five dollars. Your commercials are a scam. Flow would give me twenty five dollars. The fucking Emo would give me twenty five dollars. Bum bum bum bum. We are fiers would give you. The guy from OZ he give me twenty five dollars. Dude, they know a thing or two about a thing good neighbor, like State Farm, they give you twenty five. They put me in good hands and hand me twenty five dollars. Don't state right, all State whoever? They don't give me twenty five dollars. So you're gonna give me twenty five. I go built from the ground up twenty five dollars, So, she explained, whatever company it is at. John Krasinski voices, you don't tweet me. I'm sorry, please don't tweet me. Okay, So so says, well, so you do what you have to do. I said, Okay, I will What did you do? So I went on social media and I said, Hey, at Geico, your customer service sucks. You won't pay twenty five dollars when you raise my rates. The worst customer service I've ever gotten. Shady jew Marbster wrote, uh at Geico, as a Geico customer and and the victim, you would think the service would be especially good Geico fail. Nicolas Yeah, Mobster does he eat pork? Shut up? Dick Uh, Nicolas young Uh and the Nico time rights oh boy, hashtag podcast uh helmet bomb rights Christmas came early this year, can't wait for the rant. And then Geico wrote me, we appreciate your concern and would like to assist you. If this is a service concern, please d m us with your full name, policy number, phone number, state and zip code. And you did hold on, So I wrote to Geko, please follow my because again I use a third party service, so I hold on, stop hold on? So I wrote, please follow my account. I can't d M you unless we follow each other with the app I use on my phone. Throw aside the norm. I know. The norm is I can d M you, but I can't DM you unless you follow me So let's skip to part where you tell me to follow you. So they right back, here's the link you can direct message us. So I right back. I spend how much? I said, hold on, dear Geico, that's right, I wrote, Dear Geico, your company is awful when it comes to taking care of victims of your drivers. You don't understand customer service when it comes to no full accidents. Your supervisor on the phone and completely unhelpful as a Geico customer. That makes it even worse. And then I wrote back, didn't I just tell you I can't d M you? Not to tell me I can d M you unless you follow me. I'm using a third party app. So not only is your customer service sucks, you're you're reading comprehension sucks. So they followed me, I DM them and I tell them what happened. They wrote back, I voted this to a license claim agent for your state, who will contact you directly with an approximately one hour thanks. So I wrote back, I didn't need you to do that because obviously I already spoke to a claims person. I got nowhere. The customer service sucks. The last thing I need to do is talk to the customer service person who's gonna give me the same policy. Crap. I thought maybe someone from a from department might reach out to me. You're not being helpful by the way. I did yell at the woman from Geico, and I said, stop telling me what your policy is, because she kept saying a policy. Say okay, so now I vented. I'm done. I'm at the card dealer where I'm when my cars being repaired, checking on it, dropping off the check and my phone rings Hello, uh yeah Mr Bronie. Yeah, this is Cecilia. Oh hi Cecilia. Uh, what's up now? This is after I was on social media. She says, Um, we would just like to tell you we'll be extending the courtesy to you. We will be uh taking care of that fee for you on the satellite radio either we will. She goes, we can't pay the twenty five dollars, but what we'll do is we're gonna call the enterprise location near you and we're gonna make sure that they worked that into the price so that you don't have to worry about it. We're gonna cover that. We'll make sure they cover it, although we can't directly pay for it. As we pointed out, because that's our policy, we're gonna take care of it. Well, thank you very much, Cecilia. I appreciate that social media does work, apparently because Cecilia got a phone call and she was able to waive the policy as you predicted on the call with Cecilia. To begin with, so I go to I go to to to UH enterprise and I and I said, but I'm here David Brodie, Oh home, Mr? What are we expecting you? How are you royal treatment? When I get there? Okay? And they said, yeah, don't let you know where the satellite rad has all taken care of. Great. Let me ask you a question. Did they call you? Yeah, they take just called us, explained everything great. Um, did you lower the price uh and work it in like they told me? Oh no, no, they're paying for it, Cecilia. Guess what, Not only did I win, not only did I get my twenty five dollars, but I got you to pay for it. Cecilia, like I told you I was gonna do, didn't listen to me. You could have saved yourself a forty five minute phone call. I said, you're gonna end up paying for it, and you don't have the balls to admit it. She lied to me, you did and told me that enterprise you paid for red You're paid for it. Geiko, fuck you when you get on another note. I love them now, but I just wanted to say, you don't funk with me, even as not even and less than even is certainly not even Boom Satellite radio. But you didn't get your free dessert. I did get my free dessert. There's a second part to the story. I'll make it quick. They didn't want to give me original parts. They wanted to give me replica parts for the car because in New Jersey they don't legally have to give you the original parts. So with all of this fight, I got the original parts. Also. It was a part I don't want to bore anybody, but oh we am parts and everything. But they're like, sir, we don't have to give the original parts. Our contract calls would give compliment. Part of the fight was I said, and you're also you're gonna give me the original parts. Good good for you, which was seven hundred dollars more than the copy parts they wanted to give me. So yes, I did get free dessert for about seven because you know me, so yes, I to get free dessert yourself for nothing less. I like tear, I like canones. That's my free dessert. You know why because Rolin Nah Boys Rock Brooklyn, Brooklineah Boys Rock Brooklyn