#78 Horn Honking Idiot, Pizza Stealing Idiot & the Usual 2 Idiots

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Speaker 1: I'm getting really excited, Brodie. Yeah, I know, I know, I know. Well, you ordered a day before mine at my order, so my orders coming in. Yea, what color did you get? I got navy blue? All right, I got navy block. Let's tell what we're talking about. We're talking about our friends at brewmate dot com. Why didn't I think of this? I wouldn't be doing this gig for well, that's the problem. The guy who thought about his name is Dylan Jacob's twenty one, the genius. He turned twenty one, and he's like, my drinks are always warm. He created this awesome drink wear. And by the way, it's stylish stuff. This isn't like your typical old school like beer coozies that you've got in college. It's fancy and it keeps your beer and your wine cold and your spirits. Yeah, and a lot of times we go places where we can't bring glass. You don't want to bring a bucket of ice around with you. That's why I bought a navy blue wine slator where you could pour the wine into this. Now your wine will never get diluted, and it's it's it's wine no ice. The way I like it. Yeah, I gotta be honest with you, though I'm gonna put my diet coke in there occasionally because it's gonna keep that cold as well. Also ordered a Hopsilator. The hops Alator fits all your basic beer cans, also the bottles, but it fits those as well, and it keeps it ice cold. The thing about the wines to latter. First of all, it comes in thirty colors, which is awesome. Uh it's and it comes in different finishes Matt glossy glitter. Uh. You and I I ordered, so I'll be honest with you. We both worded the same color wine slator, the Navy, but I ordered the charcoal glasses that have lids on them so you can steal your drink, like if you're in the car. You put in the cup holder keeps it cold. It's the bigard technology that makes it that way. And it doesn't taste like metal. Nope. And also you could pour it put it in your bag. You know, remember the days of those giant Playmate ice coolers. Not a sponsor, not a problem anymore, by the way, brilliant technology. It also keeps the stuff hot, and we want to give our Brooklyn boys slices a reason to go there right now, as we always do. We've got a special code for you off when you use our code Brooklyn at check out. Go to brewmmate dot com. Now brew is b r you and Mate is m a t e dot com. One word brewmates dot com. Put in your keyword Brooklyn, get fifteen pcent off and your hottest turck is gonna be picking out what color you want. And if you go to the gift sets, you can mix and match different colors, which is what I I'm a vodka guy, so I bought a flask yo the vodka in there ahead of time. They've got so many accessories. Check them out at b R U m a t e dot com. Startf dot up, Star Up Brooklyn Boys, Start up Brooklyn Boys, star dot data. They make your noise data dot up episode. See this is the Brooklyn Boys podcast. We got a few startup startups on the text messages coming in from Mary code seven one set up seven they start up Brooklyn Boys. Hopefully you're recording today hashtag eyes for life. What about this word over here? I hope you guys aren't doing extracurricular activities that you could record on a Thursday and not a Friday. I'm almost caught up with my husband. We get to listen to some times on road trips. This is weekend. We have a road trip plan and it will be the Brooklyn Boys for six hours. Area code six four six, thank you. Whoa and have a few more start ups startups in there too, area code three or five. I see you. Uh here, here's the thing, Brodie. We've been really lackadaisical. And it's not lacks of daisical, it's lackadaisical. Thank you, because we've been recording on Fridays, and I'm really happy to be here on a Thursday, recording in our old studio. Yeah, I have to correct you about one thing. What it's episode seventy eight. Get out of here. I mean, we can call it seventy nine, but people arena get piss when it's not. Looking for seventy's technically seven seventy ninth episode because we did episode zero. Yeah, but it's number Are we sure about that? Yes, I'm sure about it. Yes. Wow? Why am I getting ahead myself? Getting ahead of everything? Maybe I thought there was a seventy eight and I just blinked based seventy Remember last week seventy seven like double seven is lucky? You know, was that last time? That last time? That's Friday. My brain is fried. First of all, I'm exasperated. Why why now? Well, you said something about driving into work today. He had a bo So we drive in to the Holland Tunnel where they have eight lanes of traffic merging into two. Okay, Can I just say something at the time of this recording, it's that tunnel was built in like ninety I don't care what the year was. It was an old tunnel. It was built for a horse, It was built for horses and buggies and carriages and all that. This is arguably one of the Well. No, it's the busiest city in America, right, Uh, one of the busiest in the world. It's a two lane freaking tunnel. I'd understand how my tax dollars, how my taxes, your taxes, all the money we take in and taxes and New York and New Jersey, we can't add a lane to the tunnel. I don't understand that. Well, I had a better solution. We'll get rid of the toll booths. Not even better. Well, I mean that would be great. Now here's where, here's how, here's what they should do. In the morning, all four lanes of the tunnel, because there's two tubes and two lanes each, all four lanes should be going into the city, but you can't leave the city and all and on the way back in the afternoon, all four lanes come home coming outbound. So you're going into the city of the morning, out of the city the afternoon. And you know what, if you want to if you want to do the opposite direction in the morning, fuck, do you go to the Lincoln Tunnel? All right, I don't want to confuse non New Yorkers, but I'm gonna just shoot a hole in new theory. The Lincoln Tunnel, which is further uptown, goes to midtown Manhattan. That all whatever it is, eight lanes come out of the same mountain, right, so it's easy to change the directions Holland Tunnel. The two lanes going in are nowhere near the two lanes coming out. You can't do it. You can't reroute the cars that way near cluster f because because you can't, it's not it doesn't matter. The point is ade lane. Also, what is the point? Hear me out. Wherever you drive in America, what is the point of having twenty seven tall boots if on the other side of the tall booths there's only two or three lanes, so you're just rushing to the jam. You're letting people go through the toll booths. I get it. When they were like people would give you change what people working there. But now that it's easy pass, why don't you have a two lane It's a three lane highway, feed into three tall booths, so that on the other side it's three lanes. Again, perfect example, there's a spot. Uh, it's just to be traffic at some point, Okay, at some point there's too many cars and not enough four day, there's a there's a there's a specific exit New Jersey. You don't have to live here to understand this. But we're route to eighty. You get off to get under the Garden State Parkway, so it's it's one lane to get off the parkway right and one lane from another road. Those two lanes two lanes split into eight, six or eight toll boots cash easy pass only, which is called sun Pass. It's the thing that lets you go without paying. It charges your account, right, So some of them are cash only, some of them are easy pass. Right. So you take those two lanes, you split them into eight, and then what happens on the other side, it splits back into two. So, no matter how busy or not busy it is, you've got a traffic jam of eight people who don't know how to zipper squeezing back into two lanes. You want to solve the problem, have four toll boots right too easy past two, because you wouldn't have people going fifty yards to the right and fifty yards to the left. They having to come back into the middle and dig a wider tunnel brody going in. Of course you can't know, You can't. Why not, because the tunnel is a tunnel. Will build another lane? How do you build a lane when there's not enough room for a lane? Okay, don't you think first of all, First of all, logic. Don't you think of dick have done that. They would have done it by now. No, No, because because no one's complained that, no one wants to spend the billions of dollars because they have to close the tunnel for a while, they have to build the third lane. Willing to sacrifice and then so am I. But then there's no backup plan. You would literally have to build another new tunnel to use while the old tunnel was being widened. Uh so we have a two lane freaking tunnel? Is New York? Too many people living here? Nobody thought. Nobody thought at the times of horse and buggies and get this now New York. And if this happens in your city, you should you should be piste off too. They want to do surge pricing, right. Oh yeah, so during the peak hours you pay the most money to go through, right, And there'll be a fine if you drive your car downtown. And I don't like that. If you come below like a certain street, will go above a certain street, you have to pay money to do that. You have to pay a toll to get into the busy areas of Manhattant. What you call f that if they didn't make all the lanes into bike lanes and pedestrian lane and little plazas to sit in. People are going green. It's great, they're going They're going to take in my green is what they're doing. I'm not paying a drive around the city. Don't let people who don't have to be I have to work here. Well, let me tell you what happened this morning. Yeah, tell me what happened to stupid all after So after I went through all ten toll booths, you know, all ten lanes at the same time, and we all merge into the two. As soon as you come through, do you know there's those traffic lights, the green yellow in the red by the way, when you're on yellow by the way, Well, today was yellow? Okay, today was yellow for a while? Did it turned red? The thing is, first of all, nobody pays attention to those because they're like, oh, I'm through the toll booth. I'm not on a road right now. The lanes closed, that's what's supposed to me. So I see ahead of me all the cars like darting through yellow, yellow, red, red. The light turns red. Cars are just flying through. Finally, it takes a cop to go into the middle of the road and be like and halt the traffic. So, first of all, people are idiots. Obey your traffic signals, even when you're on a highway. And there happens to be the random traffic light going into a tunnel, like there is at the Holland Tunnel and the Lincoln Tunnel. So people just can't keep going, going, going, even though it turns right. They're like, oh, that's not for me. I could go through because rules don't apply. Because I'm on a highway, no rules still apply. Right now, there's people listening to this podcast in Iowa where are on a lot of tunnels going. This is fantastic that they don't have to live and deal with this stuff. This is right. I mean, we all have our own problems. But here's the worst part of it. All the cars are stopped. Now I'm I'm one of the first cars stopped along with all ten lanes of cars. You're one of the I almost made it exactly. I We had just gotten through the toll booth and we're about to merge into those two lanes, but there are ten lanes of cars, and it's like when the drawbridge arm comes down right in front of you and you're like, I just meant it. Well, in that case, it was the cop who finally halted all the traffic. So all the traffic stopped. Now I'm sitting there and ten lanes of cars are all stopped with me because we obeyed the track. Like the beginning of so we're sitting there, I got pole position right, and then we're sitting there at one minute, two minutes, all of a sudden, I here a donkey, some asshole in the way back hank his horn. Oh he thinks you guys aren't moving my choice right? Well, well that's my point. I'm like, asshole, always an asshole, asshole, schmuck more. If only someone want to mind all of us to move, right? Do you honestly fucking think ten lanes worth of cars with four cars deep on each lane forgot to move? Did you gotta hank your fucking horn? Do you know what you listen? You don't need I'm gonna save the day. I'm gonna hawk my horn. You don't even need to see that. There's a cop up front in the front of the pile. Just know that every all four cars i'mes ten. So the forty cars in front of you got this. Okay, we're stopped for a reason, right, We don't need to hear your goddamn horn. So it was it was a donkey. You don't need to hear that at five o'clock in the morning, Where the funk are you going? Right? Shut the funk up? I don't need to hear your fucking horn. By the way, at that point, I turned my car off. I'm not gonna waste gas sitting there waiting. We're stuck, right, We're there, We're all there, We're all in this together. Don't worry. You're gonna get a chance to go when the car in front of you starts moving. What is wrong with people? Why? What? What is the point of someone blowing therein that fucking dumb Yes, I'm hawking my horn because someone doesn't know the move right. They probably didn't notice the light change. And all fifty cars, hundred cars in front of me, we had been stopped, right, we had already been stopped. Bertie, Yeah, we were already. So what's the purpose of this? You want? You wanna talk about bed drivers? So I was on the way to a doctor's appointment a couple of days ago, and it's a main road and you have to turn right. When you turn right, it's a side road that leads to like, um, the parking lot to the big medical facility and then pass that. On that same side road is like trucking and warehouses and everything. So I am two cars behind a long eighteen wheel flatbed truck loaded with pink instulation. The light changes to the guy wants to make a right. So that side road is two way road, So there's a stoplight of three cars and the right lane is open. A normal car could make the right into the into the right lane right. It's one way each way. Well, this guy decides he's gonna make the turn, but he can't make the turn into the right late because he's a fucking eight wheeler. So he starts to make the turn into the right into the the oncoming traffic lane because he's gotta make a wide turn. I'm not a smart man. What he should have done, if he knows how to drive a truck is he should have been don't don't, don't tweet me, truck drivers. I'm just giving my opinion. Had he been in the left lane, he could have had more room to turn. Just put your blank rang, you stick your on out the window, whatever you gotta do. But he was in the right lane trying to make a tight turn right into the oncoming traffic. So there's three cars in that lane. The third car doesn't move, so the second and first cars can't back up. Right, Okay, the second car decides to pull into the other side, the empty lane in the wrong direction right, so we're we're the oncoming traffic would be, but there's nobody there because his truck is blocking the turn. Now the this blue s Cadillac suv with it was a woman driving. It doesn't really matter, but this woman was driving the car. The third car backs up, the first car backs up a little bit. Right now the truck is making the turn into the wrong lane right where oncoming traffic was the car the blue s the blue Cadillac suv is now Now the buck is in the wrong on the left side of the road, the cars on the right, so they're both in the wrong lane. The car is pulling up as the as the So that little triangle, the little triangle created by the eighteen wheeler cab and the back of it desperately trying to turn into the left lane. She's pulling up alongside the cab of the front of the truck in the other lane. But now he can't move because his tractor trail apart is going to cut the front of her car off, so he blows the horn. So rather than back up, she pulls up more because she thinks he's saying, pull up more. So now she's right up against his tractor trailer at an angle. He can't move. Now we're all backed up behind the truck, and I can't get to the medical building because the only road that goes there is this road. So the guy starts yelling, well, you're fucking car lady out of the truck. So she's like fuck you. He's trying to help her, basically, So a guy gets out of the car that's blocking the truck, runs over to her, bangs on her hood, and he's like back up, and she's like, don't tell me how to drive. He's like, no, I'm telling you to back up. She's like, oh, maybe maybe her car should have gotten crushed like an accordion. Well that's what people are like now, the people behind the truck, the car in front of me, and me. I'm like, I hope she gets fucking crushed. Who pulls in and tries to like squeeze in more, making the angle tighter for the truck back the funk up six car lenks let the truck come in the left lane and then once it straightens out, go into correct lane. So the guy should have waited first of all before he made the turn. But this woman thought, I have an idea. Rather than back up, I'm gonna go in the left lane and go next to the truck, making it harder. I gotta tell you, though, people shouldn't drive when I'm when I hope I painted that picture correctly. When I'm merging into the you know the zipper. Left car, right car, left car, right car, I actually try and sneak ahead. And if I'm in the left lane, I could try and go left car, left car, left car. If no, no, no. If a tractor trailer is the next because they start slowly, you go right and front of him. If it's left car, right car. If I'm in the left left left car, it's left car, right car, And and then I'm left cars, they still gotta go. They get a shift to go at the right car because it is a tractor trailer. I try and sneak at because then I don't want to be breathing in their toxic air. Well, that's not it. You just want to get in sooner, traveled too slow. I'll tell you what though, I don't want to be behind a big truck in the tunnel. Number one, you can't see I get close to you can't see another reason. If someone's bringing a bomb in the tunnel, it's gonna be in a big truck. I don't want to behind the truck, so I'll change lanes illegally. And if the cops says the police officer says anthing to me, go I was scared of the bomb. You can't give me taking being scared of the bomb, right, I'm bomb scared of that to bomb scared could happen. You never know a stupid woman in the Alright, alright, listen, we are we We promised you guys something last week, and that was we were gonna read our our ten questions with uh we We did these interviews with all Access dot Com, Perry Perry, Boy Perry, Michael Sign then Simon, Michael Perry, my boy Perry. All right, and we're gonna read those to you. Coming up the band Perry right after this. Okay, Brody went first, Then I went second. Yea, I handed mine on time a month and a half ago. Shut up. We met this guy Perry. He's awesome. He's from all Access dot Com. We were out at our podcast awards and he said, hey, guys, you want to do an article, like an interview type situation with me where I'm gonna ask you ten questions and you're gonna answer them and you're gonna submit them in with all Access dot Com and expands your radio career. I'm like, great, Um, I don't know anyone else who's better fit to talk about me than me. And Brodie felt the same way. So Brody answered his ten questions and then I answered mine. Now we're gonna read this to everyone. How we can do it? Is this storytelling Perry Michael Simon. By the way, I told you it was Perry Michael. Remember last TV character. You're like, yeah, like you know, like like name guy than Michael Simon. So I did an interview with different questions than you, right, yeah, and uh my questions were about the podcast, how it got started, who my my inspirations are in the industry, A couple who was similar to yours. Right, Okay, let me read one of the questions. Scary got there are two here I have. I was going to read my questions. Are you're gonna read you? I'm gonna read them because I want to read you? Okay, So let's go Okay, No, No, let's let's read some of the questions. I will say Scary was very kind to the slices. So he talked about his career, what got him into radio? Uh doing a podcast with me? Are the slices all people who came Oh so we're talking about the slices, how dedicated they are, what listeners and that some of them came over from the elves terra In morning show, some didn't. And by the way, speaking of the slices, so many slices texted in this morning during the elves ter In morning show, start Up, Start Up, Spagel's we're talking about the slice bagels. We'll talk about that later in the podcast, the Spagel controversy, because that was that took over the the the internet yesterday. But one of the questions is you and Brodie have several things obviously in common, including jobs and where you grew up. What are your biggest differences and what other things he does that drive you crazy? Oh yeah, I gladly read that to the audience. I'm gonna read it. Go ahead, feel free, I'm gonna read it. You have you have a yeah, okay, you got the Uh, what are we looking for here? I wrote a phone number down. I need to call the phonower. Are you all you okay? Okay, all right? Have some help? No no, no, no, I have somebody else's mad at you. So let me tell you what you wrote. Brody suffers some only child syndrome. Yes, it's a thing. I looked it up. He never had a brother or a sister, so he never had to compromise or share, never lost an argument because he was the only sibling a hundred percent, all of all attention was on him and as the focal point, the world revolves around you. That's not me. This is what Scary said. I am perfectly comfortable losing an argument while learning a lesson. You've heard this podcast. When this Scary says perfectly okay, losing an argument. Meanwhile, Brodie will debate you to the day. He has to be right. He might as well have been a lawyer. That's true. I was gonna be one smart guy, just stubborn. That's too stressful for me. That is a that is a compliment. Right there, I said, you're a smart guy. Yeah, okay, Uh, that's too stressful for me. I like to relax and enjoy low blood pressure. High intensity situations are too much work and put mileage on your mind, body, and soul. By the way, did you hear him complaining about the tunnel that that's not like a guy who's calm. Then he says, but you gotta love the guy. None of this is personal, by the way, but it's also why I think our podcast works. The the friction, the disagreements. And then here's where it gets me. Okay, after he rips me and blames everything on the fact of an only child, he's question ten, what's the most important lesson you've learned in the business? He says, always work out your differences in person or on a phone call. Yet he works them out In an interview on all access dot com. He says a lot can get misconstrued and forwarded in an email. Be always be kind and respectful capital letters to everyone. Where are you being respectful to me? Then, he says, your managers, your co workers, and especially the people who work for you, including the interns. You don't even know their fucking names. Well, I'll tell you I'm still kind respectful to the intern Say good morning, because I'll tell you right now, the people you meet on your climb up the ladder are the people you'll see on your way downties cliche and believe me, in this industry, you're gonna need someone to catch your falling ass. Yes, you read that. You read it from your article, So we gotta stop with this. Uh the way I am because I'm an only child. And by the way, I hate when people say I was an only child. You still are right than you are. No like I again, I was watching something they said he's a he was a former congressman. No, he is a former congressman unless he became a congressman. Again, Why did you want me to dial up your mom? Who get her on the phone? Mare? Mom? Hi? Mom? Hi? How are you doing good? None of those. There's two reasons why my mother is on the phone. Number one. She's been nagging me for three weeks to get back on the podcast. Oh, if you need anything, I'm available. I got grumbles, no rumble today, no specific rumbles. Although I know you're very upset. You're very upset about the orange juice bottles. I understand that we'll get to that a later podcast. That's a tease. But you read the article with Scary, that Scary talked about it all access that that I have to be right because I'm an only child and I always got my way to pick scy. I just listen to me, scary, Yes, Mamma Brody who. Three weeks ago, David did an interview for All Access. Yes, answered ten questions. I didn't say anything bad about anybody, talked about you in a kind, nice way, talked about how successful you two are together. Tell him say a bad word about you. Then this first week it's your turn, same questions, same coverage, Sat. The questions were a little bit. I don't think that. I think that I fell into not complimentary. And when you instult my son, you instult me by saying he has problems being an only child. You're insulting me and my parenting. No, I'm not a second you are. You are completely the opposite of David. Oh no, oh no. You see the thing is you're one of three children. You had to share your mother three ways. It didn't have to share all my love, all my attention, for my nurturing, all my mentoring. And he's just fabulous to begin with. So if he's always right, it's because he's smart, secure, right, confident and confident. And so if you can't handle it, I don't know. I thought you were beyond that. You're not up said, I'm insulted. I'm upset, can't sleep, I'm upset, scaring my scary insulted me. No, Mrs Brodie, I love you well, you don't show it. If you criticize my son. You're putting a knife in my back. I feel like I need to make this up to you somehow. What can you do for me some dessert? I want you to take my mother off from steak dinner. No, I can send you something. Maybe Monica's would be nice. Really, my mom and Delmonico's. I got some a nice organic maza for Passover? What is that supposed to me? Now? You're making fun because maybe you want some craplock or some more potato linkers or something. I'm just gonna get you a Google. Hold on, you're talking about my mother, Christie's Jewish, that you need Jewish food. You want raviolis and where would you buy raviolis from? Thank you very much. My mom's an Italian as your mother, even though she's not Italian. I gotta from Brooklyn. Yeah, thank you? You know. Maybe well, maybe I can go to de Farres and get you a pizza from your favorite place on Avenue. Even have de Farish pizza. Pizza. Okay, man, I feel like I got to send your mama had to Paris pizza. She grew up not far from I've had to give you any think I should give you a care package. Now. My mother has not seen the story about the bagel yesterday. I which want your opinion, Momael, Yeah, I don't slice a bagel. We agree, We agree. She saw the story. It's terrible. They put it to as giving to New York story. I'm in New Yorker. I know about slicing baby. All right, very good, all right, all right, so there you go, Thank you very much. We'll see a few weeks. She can defend you and yell at me. That that's why you got her on the phone. If you wanted to yell at me, give it time shows you allow me, don't worry. And one more thing, that's something we can all agree. There we go, all right, thanks, thank you, love you. All right. By god, you got your mother after me. I sent to the article and she was very upset. I can't believe it, but it's true. Though. She's the one who only had one kid. She she pampered me, and she uh, you know, she went overboard. She didn't go over You spent time teaching me things, teaching me mother. Your mother didn't have time to teach you all the grammar stuff because and other things, because you had other siblings she had spent a time with. In fact, I want to call you out on something. You got the page up, which the regular Brooklyn Boys page. I want you to put grammar police jingle and the two orange clips get them rights always always, okay? If the Grammar police jingle. This is what happens when you have siblings, gram Police Police. I want to refresh everybody's memory from play the top orange clip. This is what Scary did. Yeah, this is from a couple of weeks ago. All right, who does today's phone tap? It's a tag team from Brody and I. Yeah, okay, so the Brody and I thing. Brody, it's mate right, which you corrected it, which, by the way, most people listening to this podcast still still don't. Okay. So I want to read a tweet from Chris hold On. I want to tweet from Chris at c M I c K y o ce Michio at David Brody is the only reason that my wife and I try to be proper with the and I and me sentences. Prior to the Brooklyn Boys, we were uneducated. Thank you for my newest peeve. Okay, all right, so i've i've i've, i've pulled my i've i've i've pulled my hair out, so to speak. Trying to teach you the endis and n ies. But what you did, what you did last week, I can't explain it. Play the bottom clip. Explain to me how this comes out of your mouth. We were talking about stealing people's friends. Why didtroduce Elvis to Gandhi because I'm tied with Elvison, I'm type with Gandhi Gandhi and Elvis should never ever be closer than I and Gandhi. And what the fuck? What is that? I and Elvis and I and Gandhi Gandhi and I right, well, we so you reversed it and then I don't know what you did. You switched it to I and then reversed it I and Gandhi, I and what play that again? Explain to me? Why did you Elvis to Gandhi? Because I'm tied with Elvis and I'm type of Gandhi. Gandhi and Elvis should never ever be closer than I and Gandhi. And that isn't even like that? How does it even get out of your mouth? The thing is because I wanted to say Gandhi and I, and I knew that was wrong. See, so you got you got in my head all the way like what I called Hi, right, I wanted, I wanted to say Gandhi and I, but I knew it was wrong. So you made it worse. I made it worse. But that's because it's always in my head now. And I will say, I don't make too many grammatical errors. You've you've been good. I've ben't know. But the me and you, the I and me and me and I, you and I, that stuff is something that I don't know. I think it's too late in life for me to to learn anything. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't pick up on it. Well, but everything else, No, you're you're fine. Listen, I correct people spelling errors all that. You're a solid eight and a half. I gave you that, Listen. I was. I came in third place in my in my spelling be in the in the third place in my first grade spelling be first, second and third grade. I never made it the first place. I was so pissed. I was always fucking third man, who are the top three? Was? It? Was? It was it I, Mike and Sally. I thought you were going for it's only three people, the only three people in the right. But anyway, can I okay? But like, keep that number three in mind. I got something I want a bitch about later about three. Three is the magic number and it reminds me of the the only place we just mentioned pass first of all, uh the pizza who talked about the pizza for a second. I gotta get the free shift for us to say. Okay, so you you guys remember we went to the Pizza Festival, right, the New York Pizza Fest. Yeah, and we were hosting it at pizza from all over the country, the best pizza place from all over the country, and yet scary and I still went to the place from Brooklyn that we think is arguably one of the best. It's one of the best in New York. Boys, they love to give this stuff free set for us. So our friends at the Fara Pizza j they were featured prominently in the Brooklyn Pizza Festival and that New York Pizza They were the first booth and they were the longest booth to get a slice because it was like ninety minutes. We got there early because we were hosting this. Yeah, we're kind of snucked ahead of the line kind of people anyway. So, uh, Maggie who is the proud daughter of Dominic DeMarco, and her brothers and sisters, they you know, they were there that day and they they they cook daily at the Farish Pizza Father, you know, Dominic DeMarco. So I was in there a couple of nights ago and I was eating pizza. I saw you on social media. Yes, I knew you were going to say something, so I said, you know, you know it would be really jealous that he's not here right now? Is David Brodie, my partner in the Brooklyn Boys podcast. And she goes, why don't we uh wrap some pizza up for him? And will you see him tonight? And I'm like, I'm not gonna see him tonight, but I am going to see him sometime this week. I'll tell you what I said, Why don't you give me some slices to go I'll bring him home off freeze him, and on Thursday when we record the Brooken Boys podcast, I'm gonna present them present him with pizza from the Paris the famous to faris. Well, here's the problem. Let me shut this off. She gave me free pizza for you. So that's the free ship for us part. Congratulations but very nice of you. I leave the pizza in a bag on your desk because I got here before you this morning, so I'm like, wait, Brodie's gonna be so happy. Next thing, you know, Brodie comes storming into the studio at twenty after six and he says it was six o nine whatever it was. And I'm like, dude, see the pizza, And You're like, is that what that was? I don't know. I threw it on the floor. I put it on the floor. But were you talking about? He goes, I don't know what it was, just food on my desk, random food. There was no note, hold on, hold on hold, And by the way, what there was when put it on the floor. No, no, because it doesn't fly. It has to go down on something. So when I came into this morning on my desk where I have to put my laptop out of my laptop bag onto the town on the counter and print immediately. When you couldn't put your laptop on your chair. No, I have to plug it in and stop printing for the show immediately when I get in. So I see this black bag. Look, I get gifts, I get stuff. We get stuff mailed to us all the time. So there was a black shopping bag with a company name on it, right, a company that didn't say this is food. It didn't. It looked like upon you to peek into the bag. So I looked quickly, and it was two giant plastic containers and it looked like there was something in it, but it was all fogged up. I couldn't see what it was. So I'm like, I don't know what this is. I needed to get to work, so I put it down next to my desk, which is about a foot and a half away from the refrigeration that we have in the kitchen in the in the offices, and they put on the floor and I said, I don't know what this is. I'll get back to it. So I put my laptop, I print, I grabbed my headphones. I come in the studio and you're like, uh, you see what's on your desk. No, that's something my desk put on the floor. Like, oh, I brought you pizza. I'm like, oh the Farres, Yeah, I get all excited frerec for me. But uh, fifteen minutes later, because we didn't have a chance to go to commercial yet, Gregg t walks in with a slice of pizza that he heated up in my toaster oven. Yeah, I go, which, that's my pizza. He's so on the air, he says, were you talking about? There was a bag of things, bag of food on the floor, opened it up with pizza in it. You don't go into bag, look at it and go oh there's food and there I'm gonna open it up and eat it. He ate we ate my slice of pizza. So then you're like, oh, that's some The Farre's the best pizza in Brooklyn. Right by the way, shout out to Mort loved them too. We don't know. It's not a fight, but the Farres is like, you know, but the thing once it was revealed that yeah, the Gandhi wanted a slice, then they want to slice. You're like, oh I brought up and then you open your mouth. You're like, oh, I brought a bunch of pizza for Brody. Once you said a bunch of pizza, those gu bones ran to my desk, he said, of eating up slices, which is great. But the thing is this, at the end of the day, you went off on Greg t for taking your pizza. That's the problem was he had a right to eat at that point because he does what you did. What the pizza that I gave you did not throw it on the floor. I placed the bag on the floor because there was no room at my desk and it didn't have like a bass on. It wasn't like a shopping bag. We could stand it up on the desk. It was a cloth floppy bag. So the cloth floppy bag was falling over, so I put on the floor. So what happens when stuff is unmarked and nearer refrigerator and no your desk. Second of all, it looks like it looks that's how he treats the gift that I give. Second, it was on its side. Thinking of gifts, Mr Mr Jones, there was duct There was a masking tape on top of the plastic container. It said Briant, Well, those were for of Thanksgiving leftovers. The last time I used that container. Brian is a friend of mine, falls asleep on the toilet. Yes, toilet Brian comes over my apartment and this wasn't Brian's pizza. No, ok, it doesn't matter. I'm not I'm not offended. No, No, when saw the Brian and he was like, oh, there's not Brian working here. So he decided to make himself a slice of peace? That true? Or is that I see? Oh you called him? I didn't even see stop with the Jersey kid on this podcast? He is this accurate or is just inaccurate? Hold on him. No, I don't want this on the podcast out. I don't want him in the bathroom. All right, I'm in the bathroom. You call always in the bathroom. I just wanted to well, don't be toilet Brian. There's a different Okay, toilet Brian was the one who came over my house with Thanksgiving. The leftovers were put in that box in that we were using. We recycled these containers and my mother wrote Brian on it. But the thing is I washed it, put in the dishwasher. I never took the mask and take that said Brian. On the point is I used it for your pizza. I understand complaining. I'm saying there wasn't name on it, but great when you found that bag? How did you find a bag of pizza? What did you find it? How did you find it? I would like to be referred to as the Jersey kids going to happen on this podcast. Jersey kid whatever whatever you need, yea jerk off kids. What happened was I was walking out of the Morning Shows back off right, and I'm walking out and as I passed your refrigerator, as you like to claim it, Broady, I noticed on the ground there was a black bag. It looked like one of the trays was already like leaning outward onto the floor. It wasn't on the floor, but it was leaning outward. So I couldn't help but notice that there was something there. And I looked down and it happened to be pizza. That's it the time, And I think at this point you had every right, is right to say he's pizzas At that point I thought that that point, my funck Brody, let you eat his pizza, because that's when he came to the pizza. He treats my pizza like loud. Wait a second, I said, out loud, Yeah, who's pizza? Is this? Okay? Hold on, hold on, I want to I want to add to that conversation. In the morning. There's only three people in our office in the morning when the show starts, me, Greg, t and Jake. Jake is out sick today. So he asked nobody who's pizza once, but he didn't you pizza? Is this? Nobody there to claim it? Hold on, don't get credit for that. I asked, who's pizza? Was no response from nobody. There was nobody there. So then I knelt down and I took out the tray, and then I opened it up and I smelled that it was good pizza. So I said again, I said, I'm gonna eat this. Who's pizza is it? There's a hold on scary. Then he's at the coffee machine and he said, I gave it to Brody. He obviously doesn't want it. Floor. So then I said, well, and I'm told you he told you so, SERI said, it's not that's not me that's telling you. He goes. He goes, I gave it to Brody, he obviously doesn't want it. Do what you want with it. So then I said, well, I'm gonna put it in the oven. I'm gonna eat it up. Series then walked away. And then I put in the oven, and I made myself aside to the piece. You put it in Whose toaster oven? Well, I didn't even notice that toaster oven. Everybody the atomic toast. Now, I really knows your that's the new clear toaster. Okay, it's not. It's not my toast. I donated it. My point is the irony of it is that you put it in my toast. Driving at this motherfucker here because I'm an only child. And then I had to share my pizza. You gave my pizza away. I really have noticed that. Up. Don't don't go there. We already had this fight. I got my mother back on the phone. Bronie's by the way, Tea, you missed this. Bronie's mom just scolded me for on the on the podcast, for calling him an only child. We just had this conversation. All right. I'm not gonna yell him about that. I'm not, but I do want to say I lived in a fraternity house. I lived with eighteen guys. Eighteen guys who don't have to share. I get it. And what was the rule what was the rule of the house. Well, you're it was supposed to be asked around it. It's not your food. We stop attorney meetings and at the meetings we say okay, meetings in the house, and some of them would say, God damn it, I want this food from home, and somebody ate it, and then everybody would laugh, and then it really became a serious issue. So then one of the guys would say, from now watching the head of household from now on in on, if the guys that's not right, you gotta ask who's it once. Yes, the matter. It was a free for all. People always took guess what, this is a front house. It's not a front house though, it's an office. And this son of a bitch brought me pizza and then he gives it away because of the way you treated it. You threw it on the I throw it on the floor. I'm kind of happy piece of it. You well, listen. I think Brody has a point. The point that Brody has is that in all honesty, if guy would be real, okay, I would be piste off that somebody ate my food. Just stop, hold on, don't jump on my throat. So I'd be picked. But because I have a mentality of living in a fraternity house, I just kind of do it and I don't. And I think that everything a roll with the punches. Remember remember fifth teen years ago when you took a bite on my turkey sandwich? Do you remember what happened? I know you got really people don't know that what what happened? You got to tell that my death warker, he went, he went totally. Yeah, yeah, you were at Brody was on a level that I've never seen. I had never seen that. And it was all because Greg t went into the refrigerator knowingly. Yeah that was at that time, you knowingly knew it was Brody didn't know. You didn't have any permission, and he just sucking bittest turkey sandwich and he put it back and Brody came in. Who've been into my turkey sandwich? Brody went complete, fucking completely. Apparently you didn't learn a lesson from that. But I gave him permission to the who you want to get permission? You gave me a pizza. It's my pizza on the floor. No, yes, see, okay, a lest one was I'm wrong. I would say I kill him wrong, But but but but your body sci He didn't really help because he kind of like said, I didn't him, he doesn't want it. Okay, let me, okay, Jay, let me. Let me ask you a question. What size was the gun he put to your head? Eat that pizza? Let me again. I have to be honest. Your your your defense is if it happened to me, I would be upset. But you know, I was in a fraternity and I know what it's like to be an animal. So the animal part of me kicked in. And then I looked just Scary for guidance, and I said, Scary saved me from my animal tendencies. You're my last hope. I'll be one Kobe. And he said, fuck you, eat the pizza, fu Prody, use the use the face, Luke, and shove the pizza in your face. You're correct, correct cause I'm an only child. Wait, but the only but the only part that you're not correct on is I never really said tuck Brody. I just did. No. I was pissed. I'm like, this is how he cheased to place that bag on the floor by the refrigerator, which is two feet from my desk practically because I didn't have time to reorganize the refrigerator clean because the containers you gave me more gigantic containers. The cleaning crew had come that at that time of the morning, six in the morning. If they had they would it was guard. The cleaning crew in this building leaves everything unless you put it on the X on the floor in the one spot, unless it's valuable. Right, You can leave boxes, take it. You can leave empty boxes piled up to the ceiling. If you don't put them on the little spot. They like it, they don't take them. Here's how I see it for real. Okay, I think this is and this will be it. I gotta go because I don't want to watch the game. But listen, here's how I see Okay, Brody is absolutely a victim in this whole thing. For sure. We're done now. Theory is only partially at all. That I really mean partially because he didn't say the word don't eat his pizza. Scary said don't eat his pizza, then that would have been done. But he kind of left it open. So when he when he did that, as a guy that grew up up, attorney out to kind of just do it. But I did get the sense that you didn't want it because it was on the floor. So what you're saying is, what you're saying is on a leash, you're a well bet, you're you're a well trained dog. But on Scary took the leash off, your animal instincts kicked in and you're like, I'm running down the street after that car. I gotta go. Gotta be honest, I think you're right. Yeah, that's that's what happened, all right. But what I never once said, Brody, I really know what Scary. Scary clearly said that. Scary said he didn't treat my pizza with respect that he deserves, because hold on, he wasn't like your pizza. Here's what Scary didn't do. Number One, he didn't tell me he was putting on my desk. There was no note that said, Brody, here's your pizza. There was a bag. They're a large bag. Inside the bag was two very large domed like you could put it like a chicken under the cover, like a big dome. Break two of them. So when I went to put him in the refrigerator, whatever it was, i't have time to look at it. I had to get the show is starting, because I got stuck at the Holland Tunnel this morning, like Scary does, right, there was no room in the fridge, so I didn't have time to start rearranging the refrigerator to put this. So I put it next in the fridge and I go when we go to break in fifteen minutes, I'll come back and properly care for the pizza. But I didn't get to do that because you are you are cooking it up in the first place. Tell you what's worse? Can I tell you one little thing? Since we gotta confess everything, can I tell you one little thing that's worse? Did you lick all the other slices? I did not. But here's what I will tell you, one little thing. This might make you lose your ship, but here's what I got it. Why would you tell me? Tell me? No? That is good? Okay? So Scary took the pizza in the bag and he put it on your chair so that it would be all the floor, right, And after I knew it was your pizza, I put it back on the floor so that it would still be like I had. I had a storyline of like it was on the floor. So really Scary tried to fade it like least putting it on your chair, put it on my left out of the story. Yeah, I put it. Yeah, I left it. I put it back on the floor so that I could still have read so scary thinks. I put it back on the floor, which is why he told you to eat it. So yeah, I mean, so that's really you put it back on the floor, and he probably throw it on the floor so it looks like it's spilled out. I placed it gently next to the little cocacola. I didn't know. I found out it was the forest pizza. I didn't really give a shit. I wanted to eat it. Definitely, thank you a coming to thank you for admitting what you did. I couldn't a journey kid. I was about to say, this is a great bit, but it's not getting on the shot. Holy shit, I didn't know he did that at the end to make it look even he was trying to recreate the scene of the crime. Because I did put pull it off the floor and I put it on your chair. He put it back on the floor. Yeah, I placed it gently next to the refrigerator. Alright, all right, you know what we gotta we have to talk about we'll be uh, I need, I need to breathe right after this, we'll come back. Okay, So I'm still breathing heavy. That wasn't a long enough commercial. You want to do another one, I'll go right back commercial. No, I don't even need the button right here. We'll go right back because we know how the slices it's so infuriating. I can't right, We'll just treat. I just want the pizza is so good, and I look like bottom line is I appreciate you bringing me the pizza. I feel like you owe me steak dinner and a couple of slices. By the way, great, he's not the only guilty one. Let me just answer that story real quick and then we'll be done with it. So you brought me uh to Sicilian. That's the price possession, the farrest round pizza. This is sillion pizza. I mean that Neopolitan pizza. Is that round excellent? Very good? I give it an eight point nine nine, maybe a nine, but the Sicilian is it twelve? Like it's off the charts. You can't go wrong with you the one. So you gave me two slices of the Sicilian, and I'm grateful forever, and by the way that I had last night, I ate two of the other ones, so trick, okay, you got them for me. Okay, but you also you also brought three slices of the round or four, so Greg t ate the one that we just talked about. So once you told the room that we had pizza Gandhi on the elb Strand Morning show case, you know who she is, she says, oh, can I get a slice? Well, now I can't say no, because you made it sound like you brought a bunch of pizza in for me. I did, okay, So I said, well, I didn't want to give up the Sicilian because there's only two slices, and I'm like, that's my frie So I said, well, look there's a bag on the floor by my desk on the right side, the one that says brian on it has Sicility the round slices. You can have a slice, sure, right, okay? So she goes in the back, comes out. I go, where's the pizza. It's in the tolb so gonna go okay, great, So I go on the back to put one of my square slices in and I see the two slices in the oven. It's like, Oh, she put one in for me. How nice. So I come back in the studio and I say, oh, is that second slice for me? She says, no, it's for Nate. He wanted one to What the fun are you? A slice of pizza I gave away so I didn't get around slice because greg a one Gandhi, I said you can have one, and she gave the other one to Nate. Okay, you're gonna hear you're You're gonna get even more pissed because I'm pissed about what what I'm about to tell you right now. And you don't know this because only I can see it from where I am. So so Nate and Ghan Gandhi and Nate eight eight year, last couple of slices, right of the round, right, Nate. I watched him. He takes like three fucking bites. Oh no, no, no, he fucking threw the rest of it in the garbage. No, this garbage back here. But they've changed, they changed the pal He wasted a slice of the best pizza. He wasted to take me out of here on a stretch, had to be at least half the slice. I'm like you motherfucker, and you know what, mother, And I'm like sitting there and I'm like, oh my god, he just threw I mean, you don't do that to defar. I'm gonna I'm gonna give it. I'm gonna give you a little secretive secret. So I was upset. No, No, he should have just taken up by Gandhi. So here's a move I do sometimes, and I did it this time. Once she told me the second slice was finate, I went back to the toaster of him. I did this a little surgery. Now, you gotta be good at this. You can do one of two things. You can shave like a half inch off of a side of a slice and eat like the long rectangular strip, or you can cut it in an angle so the triangle shape stays, but you make the slice shorter. Sure, right, I did that to one of the slices. I'm like, well, I can't take one of the slices now that they've already been assigned to Gandhi and Nate. So so I took one out of the toaster. I cut with a plastic knife. I got like an inch off of an at an angle, so you could still have a taste of the round. So I did have a taste of the round, which was fantastical. But but here's the thing. Gandhi took the took the uh, the the smaller slice and gave the bigger slice to Nate and he wasted it. Should have cut a piece off both of them. He wasted gold. That's what I'm saying. That's disrespectful. That's what I'm saying. Oh, he's half a slice of pizza. That's what he did. He took three milk. Either he's an idiot, what kind of animal? Number two? Oh, he doesn't know good pizza when he tasted, in which case, he's dead to me because he's used you know what, because he's from a small town. I'm not gonna I don't want to name names. He's from you know what, No play the theme from from He's from Erie, Pennsylvania, and they have spizza, pizza, ship pizza. They have ship pizza. By the way. The bagel story, the slice of the bagel my mom mentioned earlier with a slicing bagels like a loaf of bread. Everyone, you know, that's those are spagels. And everyone was tweeting and then you don't know what you should know because you listen in order. But it's just a reminder of this is your first episode. The bagel is a ship bagel and they take and what they did in this story is that it's gut wrench. It's a panera in St. Louis. Is that what it is? It was like Hackerman's bagels, whatever it is. They take the bagel and they put it to a bread slicer and they make thin slices. But but that's not the problem that I had. Wasn't even a real bagel. That's the problem I have with it. Wasn't a boiled, thick shelf bagel. No, you know what I was putting a hole in it. It's a doughnut. It's a it's a it's bad. It's it's a bread nut. It's a bread it's a bread nut. It is it is a bread nut. That's all it is. Bread nut. Do you have to boil your bagel's first? We've said it here, I nause him on this podcast. A real bagel is is boiled first in water and then baked. That's how you get there, because that's you get the Doughey, the dougheytenus of it that that that whatever, we digress, so that by the we digress every thirty second. So they took a spagel and they sliced a spagel, Right, that's what they did, and they made it a fucking spagel. That's the worst bagel bagel story ever. I can't believe how much time we've wasted. We're almost we're almost out of here. You want to do some unused jokes jokes? Okay, I can't. We gotta calm down. I got I got, you know, I got the over here on the side of my head in the temples, not because I'm Jewish, because they get temples. They're they're throbbing right now. The vein is dropping. So these are the jokes that didn't get used over the past week and a half. On the Morning show, a girl called up her name was a Perva, and Gandhi says, oh, that sounds Indian because Gandhi's Indian, I said, a Purva sounds more like scary. Uh, speaking of scary. Now his name isn't scary, but this is a story about scary Spice and ginger Spice. A story came out. They admitted that they hooked up once they made out and so I said, oh, that's because they sing that song two Girls Become One. You're a fan of the band, you know the song. I'll save that one, Phi Latex, that was your favorite. I think Keanu Reeves did a nice thing. There was a problem at the airport right the plane broke down and stuck on the tarmac. He rented a van to take all the passengers to safety. The problem was the joke I wrote was he couldn't go more than fifty in the van or would blow up the speed joke speed uh. Elvis was talking about his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. He said, the star is filthy. It needs to be clean. It's filthy. I said, Elvis's star is the second most tarnished star in Hollywood, right behind Jesse Smollett. And I said, a star is brown. Yeah, start, that's racist. No stars Brown get it because there was Schmutz on the star guy okay stars Brown's Instagram page and he didn't use okay uh. Danielle did a story that Nicholas Cage applied for a marriage license rights getting married, and I said, it's Nicholas Cage in the back of the match. License is a treasure map. He didn't do the joke last week quiz Dodd Cone day, free cone Dad at dairy Queen, you have a joke? Yeah, go ahead, so uh and and we give they've given that cones and Elvis says something. You notice how they say participate. Some of these places don't participate. Yeah. That one non participating shop is the drama Queen. Oh nice queen. Now you know the big story about how famous people are paying and rich people paid that their kids getting the colleges. So Dr Dre released a story on his on the social media. This was your favorite. I said it for the last He came out and he said I didn't have to pay for my kid to get into college. And then someone pointed out that he that he donated a hundred thousand dollars to build a building on the campus called the Dr Dre Building. So I said, it looks like he forgot about the Dre building. I said, you can't forget about Drey forgot about your about tres building. That's a great joke. I love I love musical, but you hear this, You hear this right, Yeah, this is my stack of paper of all the rants I didn't get to well, let's get to one. No, I did. The pizza thing is like I gotta, I got. Okay, you want to save it for next year, but I promise you I will get to the three percent thing at the Italian at the Italian food Store because it's bullshit, all right, it's bullshit. Okay, take a deep breath, Brodie, don't steak and pizza. You know what you're gonna get that pizza from going to the parish. Brooklyn Boys, Brooklyn, Broolen Boys, Brooklyn